Billionaire Steven Mnuchin So Tired Of COVID Jobless Flaunting Their Luxury Lifestyles In His Face

White House proposes 70 percent wage replacement (i.e. starvation).

The Republican philosophy of “Fuck People Who Aren't Corporations" isn't ideal in the best circumstances. It's especially problematic during a global pandemic. Neither the GOP nor the White House can agree on a deal that extends unemployment benefits for the millions of Americans left jobless because of COVID-19. Republicans such as mid-transformation wolfman Ted Cruz are worried people will grow so “desperate" from not worrying about starving that they'll vote for Democrats instead of the Republicans who wanted to let them starve.

Cruz also grossly claimed that science isn't guiding the decisions of Democratic governors and mayors. It's just political opportunism, and once Joe Biden wins, Cruz “guarantees" that they'll suddenly give the all-clear for everyone to return to work. In reality, the coronavirus is notoriously non-partisan. It will fuck your shit up no matter who's in office. Democratic leaders aren't deliberately impoverishing their constituents, but Cruz is setting the stage for baseless conspiracy theories when things do improve once Donald Trump is no longer in office.

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Class War

NO, Maine TV Station, 84-Year-Old Motel Housekeeper Is NOT 'Heartwarming,' STOP THAT

Hooray for the chance to be ground down by the Machine a few more years!

Somebody at "NBC News Center Maine" (WCSH) seems to think it's kind of adorable that America's social safety net is so full of holes that 84-year-old Jackie Hart has to work as a motel housekeeper to survive. Or as the story's headline chirps, "84-year-old Mainer takes on new role as a motel housekeeper with feisty spirit." A tweet previewing the story, from reporter Chloe Teboe, racked up an impressive ratio on the Twitter machine yesterday as people chimed in to ask, "What the hell is wrong with you, TV person?"

No! Old people having to do manual labor to survive is not in any sense a "pick-me-up story," unless perhaps someone's going to come into the kitchen and scrape me off the floor where I have been drinking all day.

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GOP Stimulus Plan Just Big Blank With 'Fix Economy Here' Written In Crayon

You remember, it's just how they did their Tax Cut for Rich Fuckwads!

Just a day away from tomorrow's expiration of emergency unemployment benefits from the CARES act (why no, it doesn't end at the end of the month, now everyone's caught by surprise, whoops!), Republicans in the Senate and White House still don't have a plan for a new coronavirus stimulus package. Majority Leader Mitch McConnell had hoped to have a bill ready to roll out Thursday, but so far the negotiations among Republicans haven't moved past the very incomplete opening offer we discussed yesterday. At the earliest, Republicans might unveil a draft of actual legislation on Monday.

Yesterday, the New York Times published a draft summary of what Republicans might sort of agree among themselves on so far, but as far as we know it may since have been replaced by a photoshopped image of Donald Trump flipping the bird, with "EXTERMINATE ALL THE BRUTES" scrawled across the bottom.

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Senate GOP Worried Jobless Are Too Funemployed To Go Work In COVID-19 Mines

Are there no prisons? Are there no workhouses?

Someone in Congress glanced at a calendar recently and noticed that the $600-a-week federal pandemic unemployment assistance starts running out for millions of Americans later this week. Now everyone's back at work to “hammer out the details" on a new bill.

Democrats passed a $3 trillion relief bill in May, and Republicans have countered with a $1 trillion package with fewer bells and whistles, like sufficient funds for food and shelter. Conservatives are very worried that the unemployed will get soft from all this easy COVID-19 living and never toil in the fields singing "Zip-a-Dee-Doo-Dah" again. Senate Republicans want to reduce the $600 benefit because they heard rumors of unemployed people lighting cigars with $100 bills and copies of Action Comics No. 1.

South Carolina Senator Lindsey Graham, who we'd love to see unemployed, thinks the $600-a-week benefit is a “disincentive."

Graham: We're gonna have to reduce the benefit ... have a federal benefit but reduce it.

The unemployment rate is at Steinbeckian levels and confirmed COVID-19 cases are rising exponentially. People refusing to work isn't a concern. Graham wants “some compromise on the number that will make it easier to reopen the country." That's right. He wants the unemployed so desperate they'll still report for their shift at Applebee's despite surging cases that should've caused responsible governors to shut down their states again.

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