"What took Kerry so long?" all the pundits ask. Well, we hear that for all his Lurch-like sluggishness, the real stick-in-the-mud was Edwards, who didn't want to concede. . . because, presumably, he sees his political future shrinking in the blinding glare of Hillary's pantsuits.

How sure are we of this? A little birdie told us and we believe him because the birdie bought us flowers and said it would never happen again.