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Good Morning, Virginia! For the first time in a generation, Democrats control the Virginia House, Senate, and the governor's mansion. Big thanks to Donald Trump for making the Republican brand less popular in the suburbs than raw sewage! And that goes for Kentucky, too, where their asshole incumbent governor spent the entire campaign humping Trump's leg like a dog and came up short in the Cincinnati suburbs. Womp womp.

KENTUCKY

Hey, remember Monday night when Donald Trump dragged his carcass to Kentucky and said that a loss for Bevin would be SO EMBARRASSING for him?

If you lose it sends a really bad message. It just sends a bad message. And they will build it up. Here's the story, if you win, they're going to be like, "Ho hum." And if you lose, they're going to be like, "Trump suffered the greatest defeat in the history of the world. This was the greatest." You can't let that happen to me!

Sure, Poppy. It's all about you! Until it isn't.


Really? Fifteen points? Let's just take a little looksee at RealClearPolitics ....

Okay then! Look, Kentucky is still a beet-red state, and the GOP swept all the other races. It's not like Mitch McConnell has anything to worry about next year, right?

DONALD TRUMP IS NOT WORRIED ABOUT KENTUCKY'S SENATE RACE. AT ALL. PERIOD. Maggie Haberman will absolutely not be dropping a story at 4:30 about the massive shitfit he had last night as the returns came in, only calming down when his aides hand-fed him little bites of Big Macs during Hannity's ranting over the latest Hillary impeachment drama. Allegedly.

In all fairness, you can't really extrapolate out from Bevin's loss, since that guy is a special kind of raging dickhead who picks fights with teachers, students, and law enforcement. But it's not exactly a show of strength that Trump and Pence couldn't drag that turd across the finish line in a state they took by 30 percent in 2016. Even Fayette County, where Trump held his MAGA rally for Bevin, went for Attorney General Andy Beshear by 32 points, a 22 percent improvement over Hillary Clinton's 2016 margin.

Turnout in Kentucky was huge, up more than half a million votes (roughly a 50 percent increase) over 2015. Turns out people really don't like it when tens of thousands of poor people lose their health insurance!

With all the precincts counted, Beshear squeaked out a narrow, 5,000-vote win, which is less than half a percent. Democratic Secretary of State Alison Lundergan Grimes is likely to certify the results, making Bevin's refusal to concede a moot point. Although Bevin has threatened to sue for ... something or other.

"Would it be a Bevin race if it wasn't a squeaker?" asked the guy who won his last race by nine points. So take it with several grains of salt when he says, "We know for a fact that there have been more than a few irregularities, they are very well corroborated." Tell it to the judge, buddy.

VIRGINIA

Movin' on! It was a BEAUTIFUL night in Virginia. In the first election since the court tossed the state's bullshit Republican gerrymander and unrigged the maps, Democrats took control of both houses of the legislature, putting them firmly in control of the redistricting process after the 2020 census. You love to see it!

We don't have full numbers yet, but turnout was huge in Virginia, especially among the youngs.

Hey, how about we quit crapping on the Millennials for a hot second, 'kay? In fact, how about EVERYONE under 60 (and all the wonderful Boomers who haven't lost their damn minds and decided to steal from their own grandchildren, we love you, too!) hold hands and don't let go until we get rid of Donald Trump in 2020. Because that's what they did in Virginia yesterday, and it worked.

Here's the first ever Muslim woman to serve in the state Senate.

Remember how GOP control of the Virginia House was decided by pulling names out of a hat in 2017 after Democrat Shelly Simonds tied Republican David Yancey? Guess who just walloped Yancey 58-40 to flip that seat?

The Moms Demand gun control PAC Everytown for Gun Safety pumped $2.5 million into local races, outspending the NRA eight to one. And it worked! Pro-gun-control candidate Dan Helmer picked up a House seat in Northern Virginia, booting Tim Hugo, the last Republican standing in the region.

African Americans increased their representation in Virginia's House by three, adding Alex Askew (HD85), Josh Cole (HD28), and Clinton Jenkins (HD76), who defeated the GOP's powerful chair of the Appropriations Committee, Chris Jones.

And Juli Briskman, the cyclist who got fired for flipping off Trump's motorcade in 2017, continued her reign of terror by bumping off a Republican to pick up a seat on the Loudoun County Board of Supervisors. Will the real Supervisor Briskman please stand up, and put one of those fingers on each hand up!

In fact, it was a pretty bad night in the burbs for the GOP all over the country. Trump may not have much to worry about in Indiana, where Democrats took control of the City Council in Mike Pence's hometown of Columbus. But he can't win in 2020 without Pennsylvania, where Democrats now hold majorities on local councils in Chester and Bucks counties. Delaware County was an absolute massacre, with Democrats seizing the entire county council, the district attorney's office, and every judgeship on the ballot.

There was one bright spot for the GOP, though. Well, brightish.

Yes, Tater Reeves won the statehouse for the GOP in that swingiest of swing states, Mississippi. Like Bevin, he was a little bit ahead in the polls, and with low turnout across the board, he managed to win by six percent. Which is obviously due to Donald Trump's tireless efforts. But Matt Bevin's loss is all on him.

You bet, Deej!

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Your FDF lives in Baltimore under an assumed identity as an upstanding member of the PTA. Shhh, don't tell anyone she makes swears on the internet!

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