Crime

Whom Are We Arresting For Capitol Rioting Today?

Such promising young people, too.

Super-smart people who took photos and video of themselves participating in last week's armed insurrection keep getting arrested for some reason, as law enforcement, often with the help of people on social media, continues identifying them. While it might have made a hell of a lot more sense to arrest people during the riots, at least the suspects helped move the process along by documenting themselves trying to overthrow a legitimate election. White privilege: finally an upside.

Let's take a moment to update our earlier roundups of those who were rounded up (or lost their jobs), mostly because they were certain they were above being held accountable. We're sure the list of the terrorists next door will keep getting longer and longer.

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Trump

Donald Trump Was Too Busy Not Wanting Coup To Stop To Tell Traitors Having Coup To Stop

He likes to watch.

When the US Capitol was being overrun by rioters who believed Donald Trump's lies about the election being stolen from him, the Great Man himself was largely unavailable to talk to anyone telling him he needed to do something. For one thing, he'd already done something by sending the mob off to storm the Capitol. For another, he was having far too much fun watching the riots unfold on TV, because look at all those Great Americans taking back America from its duly elected lawmakers! The Washington Post offers an inside view of the White House during the coup attempt that should be disturbing, except that it tracks so well with what we all know about Donald Trump by now. Which is to say, it's the expected tire fire in a garbage dump, overseen by a superannuated toddler who still has access to the nuclear codes.

One anonymous "close Trump adviser" explained that President Chauncey Gardiner couldn't be bothered to take calls from frantic Republican lawmakers hiding from the insurgents, because "Apprentice: Insurrection" was on:

He was hard to reach, and you know why? Because it was live TV. [...] If it's TiVo, he just hits pause and takes the calls. If it's live TV, he watches it, and he was just watching it all unfold.

So pretty much everything the Right claimed about Barack Obama's supposed indifference to Benghazi came true with Trump, except for the cocaine orgy rumor, because Adderall is more Trump's speed.

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News

Multiple Capitol Cops Suspended For Getting Too Friendly With Terrorists

'Community policing' doesn't mean let rioters move in.

"Several" Capitol Police officers have been suspended and a whole bunch more are under investigation for their actions during last week's violent takeover by a pro-Trump mob that sought to overturn the election. The Washington Post reports that "eight separate investigations" have now been opened into the Capitol Police, according to an anonymous congressional aide:

In one of the cases, officers had posted what Capitol Police investigators found to be messages showing support for the rally on Wednesday that preceded the attack on the complex, including touting President Trump's baseless contention that the election had been stolen through voter fraud. [...]

Investigators in another instance found that a Capitol officer had posted "inappropriate" images of President-elect Joe Biden on a social media account. The aide declined to describe the photographs.

The investigations of particular officers' actions come as pretty much everyone except the Trump administration and its allies are demanding more information on why the security for Wednesday's protests was so piss-poor. That failure will undoubtedly be the focus of eventual congressional investigations, though perhaps fewer than the number devoted to Benghazi.

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Right Wing Extremism

Idaho Dingus Who Stormed US Capitol Has Regrets, Lawyer

Now singing the Very Sorry Song.

Idaho man Josiah Colt, 34, was one of the rioters who proudly swarmed into the US Capitol. In fact, he's the subject of a couple of the more iconic images of the takeover of the Senate chamber, which had to be evacuated Wednesday because he and his domestic terrorist pals were breaking windows and smashing open doors to make their way into the building, and then into the rooms where all of Congress was hiding under desks.

And after bragging on social media about his role in saving America from tyranny through a very reasonable coup attempt, Colt, from the Boise suburb of Meridian, now wants you to know just how sorry he is that he got all swept up in the moment, OK? Particularly because his name and photo are all over the news. Sounds sincere to us!

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