State/Local Politics

Albuquerque Mayor's Race Roiled By DONGCOPTER

One Of Our Dildocraft Is Missing.

The big political news in New Mexico this week was Tuesday's landslide-isn't-adequate-to-describe-it win by Democratic state Rep. Melanie Stansbury in the special election to fill Interior Secretary Deb Haaland's congressional seat. But while the 60 percent to 36 percent stomping Stansbury delivered to Republican state Sen. Mark Moores will have important long-term implications for New Mexico politics, it was a plain vanilla "plane lands safely" story compared to Tuesday's other, far weirder political news in the Land of Enchantment.

That story, being, of course, the attack of the DONGCOPTER at a rally for Albuquerque mayoral candidate Manuel "Manny" Gonzales III, who currently serves as Bernalillo County Sheriff. As the Albuquerque Journal notes, the rally had started out well enough, with one of the biggest crowds Gonzales has had yet in his campaign to oust "fellow Democrat and incumbent Mayor Tim Keller." (The mayor's race is officially nonpartisan, so party affiliation won't be listed on the ballot. They are indeed Dems, although Gonzales is apparently some kind of law-n-order Trumper. Damned if any of it makes sense.)

Things got weird, in the form of a new kind of SKYPENIS, only this one at a far lower altitude than the others. While Gonzales was answering a question, a quadcopter drone dangling a dildo beneath it flew into the open-air venue, buzzing near the stage. As the audience giggled, an incredulous woman in the audience exclaimed, "Is that a dong on a drone?"

Here's a link to the video, which sadly cannot be embedded. Gonzales, clearly distracted — and who wouldn't be? — commented, "We have a gentleman over here who I guess is trying to be cute."

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Vote suppression

Sh*t Went DOWN In Texas Lege This Weekend

Yeah, they were gonna make it illegal to give people rides to go vote.

I'd like to believe that late Sunday night, on some cosmic plane, Ann Richards and Molly Ivins were high-fiving each other when Democrats walked out of the Texas House chamber shortly before midnight, temporarily killing Republicans' terrible voter-suppression bill. Yes, of course it's going to come back and pass in a special session some time later this summer, but the point is that, for a while at least, we won't be seeing Greg Abbott smugly signing the bill into law and lying about how he's protecting the "integrity" of the vote.

And who knows, there's even the slimmest of chances that the US Senate might pass the For the People Act and the John Lewis Voting Rights Act, although for that to happen, our secular prayers for the enlightenment of Joe Manchin would have to be answered. After Republicans shafted Manchin's bipartisan fantasy on the January 6 Commission, we'd like to hope he may yet realize that saving democracy and saving the filibuster are in fact two different things.

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Right Wing Extremism

Who You Gonna Believe? Michael Flynn Or All This Video Evidence Against Him?

HE WUZ FRAAAAAAAAMED!

Doesn't the Uniform Code of Military Justice have something to say about fired, disgraced LIEUTENANT GENERALS saying things like this?

Avowed QAnon disciple and confessed felon retired Lt. Gen. Michael Flynn has called for a Myanmar-like military coup in America.

"It should happen," Donald Trump's former national security adviser said in an astonishing declaration at a QAnon conference Sunday.

It happened at the "For God And Country" gathering of QAnon Trump idiots at the Omni in Dallas. (No, not the Omni Total Landscape, the actual Omni.) Sidney Powell was at this event. So was Texas GOP Chair Allen West. Louie Gohmert.

As HuffPost explains for Americans who aren't currently up on their Myanmar news, its military pulled off a violent coup back in January, the same month Donald Trump was trying to get his followers to pull off a violent coup in America. They arrested the leader and other top politicians, and they've been killing hundreds and hundreds of protesters. As HuffPost notes, they've been doing this because "election fraud." Apparently QAnon types in America are really stoked about what's happening in Myanmar.

Or "Minnimar," as it were. You know how QAnon Trump idiots are about keeping up with the current news in "Minnimar."

Flynn presented his dark vision of a military coup and dictatorship in the U.S. in response to a question from the audience at the conference.

"I wanna know why what happened in Myanmar can't happen here?" an unidentified member of the audience asked Flynn, though he pronounced the nation as "Minnimar."

"No reason," Flynn responded to wild screams of approval. "It should happen."

Well then. Again, Uniform Code of Military Justice? We are just curious.

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Legal

Is Georgia Getting A Fraudit Too? A Lawsplainer Of Christ, These Assh*les Again.

It's a very popular lawsplainer these days.

Arizona Republicans are currently hanging their heads in shame after hiring a company called "Cyber Ninjas" to look for bamboo ballots to prove that China stole the 2020 presidential election for Joe Biden. Or, something? Honestly, who the hell even knows. Anyway, they've turned the state into a national laughingstock, so naturally Georgia Gippers want in on some of that action.

Honestly, look at this lede from the Atlanta Journal-Constitution:

Aided by a treasure hunter, the tea party and an unshakable belief that the presidential election was rigged, a group of skeptics may soon inspect Georgia absentee ballots in an attempt to find counterfeits.

Yeah, baby! Only this time instead of bamboo fibers the new hotness is folds. Specifically, the pack of geniuses bringing this suit believe that ballots without folds are inherently SUSPICIOUS and FRAUD, so they're going to, uh, read the ballots' palms and see if their lifelines are fake. Never mind that all military and overseas ballots have to be duplicated so the machines can read them, as do any ballots that got too folded in the mail, so plenty of ballots come off the copier smooth as a baby's bottom.

Look, this ain't a brains operation.

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