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Eliot Spitzer, Kathleen Parker To Be Quarantined On Terrible CNN Show

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Do you worry every time you leave your house about encountering Eliot Spitzer, who will attempt to pay you for sex, or Kathleen Parker, who will attempt to determine if you are a"full-blooded American," and then bludgeon you with her Pulitzer Prize if you aren't? Well, now at least the period from 8 to 9 p.m. every night will be safe, because these two will be busy making eyes at each other on CNN during that time period. Quick, scurry out and purchase supplies!


Spitzer and Parker's Olde Time Politics Variety Hour will replace Campbell Brown, who was too good and pure for this world. Remember how CNN used to have shouty shows where political enemies would shout at each other, loudly, before Jon Stewart shamed them out of it? Well, that's not what this show is about! Instead, it will offer "a lively roundup of all the best ideas." ALL THE BEST IDEAS, ON ANY TOPIC. If your idea isn't rounded up by this show, it is not the best, or even very good.

But wait, with Spitzer an avowed liberal whoremonger and Parker a self-described "rational conservative," won't the show inevitably devolve into acrimony?

"As a veteran print journalist, I am appropriately respectful of the challenges posed by the medium," said Parker. "But I'm thrilled by the opportunity to discuss the issues that matter to me -- and that aren't heard often enough on television -- in a conversation with one of the nation's most brilliant, fearless and original thinkers. With Eliot Spitzer as my co-host, Wall Street and Main Street will finally meet. It can't possibly be boring."

...

"Kathleen is an extraordinary intellect whose sharp observations and wit are certain to resonate with viewers," said Spitzer. "I look forward to working alongside her in a discussion that will inform, challenge, and entertain."

Whichever CNN marketing intern came up with those lines and attributed them to these two hosts deserves a Pulitzer plus the governorship of New York plus a Congressional Medal of Honor, for being able to put those words in that order, in reference to Eliot Spitzer and Kathleen Parker, without vomiting to death.

(Your Wonkette morning editor, in case you aren't picking up on it, will probably not be watching this show.) [CNN]

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Tucker Carlson has recently dressed himself in the borrowed robes of an anti-elitist crusader. He thought he'd intercepted another kindred spirit like Glenn Greenwald when he invited Dutch historian Rutger Bregman onto his Fox show. It didn't work out that way and Carlson wound up screaming obscenities at Bregman. The segment never aired ... until now. Bregman recorded the interview and shared the whole thing yesterday through NowThis News.

The video's been viewed more than 6 million times so far, and the average audience for Carlson's show is roughly half that. Smart move there, Tucker. The entire exchange is delightful. Carlson started out giggling like a school boy because Bregman stuck it to those hypocrites who fly in private jets to a global summit on climate change. He even said he'd take his hat off to Bregman if he were wearing one. He's practically flirting with the guy at this point. We're just five minutes away from a total meltdown. Is Bregman going to start describing sexual encounters with Carlson's mother? No, he just suggested that rich people in America should pay more taxes.

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Photo: Desmog Blog

The Washington Post reports the Trump administration is on the verge of forming a panel to reconsider the Pentagon and Intelligence community assessment that climate change poses a serious concern for national security. The idea that climate is a national security concern is hardly crazy -- the Pentagon has been warning about the implications of climate change for national defense since the 1990s, and by 2010, the Defense Department was urging that climate change should be considered a major force of destabilization around the world. Hungry people whose crops have dried up may get violent, you know? Or at least pick up and move elsewhere, where they may not be welcome. Similarly, the CIA in 2008 tried to assess the likely effects of climate change on security through 2030.

Of course, now that President ScienceBrain is in office, that's all in the trash, at least in the Oval Office. And this new effort to set up a "Presidential Committee on Climate Security" through an executive order has the potential to erase considerations of climate from national security planning, because the "president" doesn't believe it, and has surrounded himself with other great intellects who reject science too. And hoo boy, get a load of the guy in charge of the whole shebang: William Happer, a laser expert who worked on Reagan's Star Wars antimissile program and, not surprisingly, is not a climate scientist. Instead, he argues that we need a lot more CO2 in the atmosphere, because it's what plants crave.

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