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Do you still have any doubts or questions whatsoever that yes, you should definitely vaccinate your kids, and no, you should not believe debunked "studies" that vaccinating your kids is bad? Really? Have you not paid any attention AT ALL?

Fine. Then here is Sen. Elizabeth Warren at a Senate committee hearing on Tuesday about whether vaccinating your kids is good (it is) and whether you should do that (you should).


Warren begins with a very polite, Warrenesque statement about how it is even possible that eradicated diseases are making a comeback, and we are, as always, in awe of the senator's ability to talk about stupid people without once saying, "Damn, but these people sure are stupid."

When the polio and measles vaccine became available for the first time, parents lined up to make sure their kids would be protected. They’d lived in a world of infectious diseases that destroy children’s futures, and they desperately wanted to leave that world behind. These vaccines work so well that the memory of these diseases has faded, and the importance of vaccination has become less obvious.

Warren then addresses Dr. Anne Schuchat, one of the witnesses appearing before the committee.

"Dr. Shuchat, you are the top immunization official in the United States," Warren says. "I just want to walk through the science on this with you."

But is Dr. Schuchat really the right person to ask? Actually, yes. She is the director of the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention's National Center for Immunization and Respiratory Diseases, and before that, she was director of the CDC's National Immunization Program, and before that, she was the acting director of the National Center for Infectious Diseases, and so on and so on.

In other words, she is not just A Expert, but The Expert, on immunization and disease control. Like, even more of an expert than self-certified ophthalmologist Rand Paul or Playboy model Jenny McCarthy.

So let's walk through the science, one last definitive we-should-never-ever-need-to-do-this-again (but we know we will, sigh) time:

WARREN: Is there any scientific evidence that vaccines cause autism?

SCHUCHAT: No.

WARREN: Is there any scientific evidence that vaccines cause profound mental disorders?

SCHUCHAT: No, but some of the diseases we vaccinate against can.

WARREN: The diseases can, but not the vaccines. Is there any scientific evidence that vaccines have contributed to the rise in allergies or autoimmune disorders among kids?

SCHUCHAT: No.

WARREN: Are there additives or preservatives in vaccines that can be toxic to kids?

SCHUCHAT: Not in the amounts that they’re in in vaccines.

WARREN: Is there any scientific evidence that giving kids their vaccines further apart or spacing them differently is healthier for kids?

SCHUCHAT: No, it actually increases the risk period for children.

WARREN: So it adds to the danger?

SCHUCHAT: Right.

WARREN: Is there any scientific evidence that kids can develop immunity to these diseases on their own, simply by eating nutritious foods or being active?

SCHUCHAT: No.

WARREN: How do the risks of a child responding negatively to a vaccination compare with the risks of skipping vaccinations and risking exposure to a deadly disease?

SCHUCHAT: Vaccines are safe and highly effective, and it’s important for parents to know that they’re the best way to protect their kids.

WARREN: So I think every parent wants to protect their children, and parents should know that all of the credible scientific evidence suggests that modern vaccines are safe, modern vaccines are effective, and modern vaccines are our best chance of protecting our children from diseases that can kill them. Is that right?

SCHUCHAT: That’s right.

WARREN: Thank you.

Do you still have any questions? No, you do not, they have all been answered. Vaccinate your kids, the end.


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Guys, it's been one more shit day in a shit week in the fifth shit month of another shit Trump year. Which is why I need to remind you that it's not ALL shit out there! Oh, sure, it's MOSTLY shit, but you know what isn't shit? YR WONKETTE, and the strange community of strange internet people who have made getting through all this shit a bit more tolerable, that's who and what. Which is why you should give us money, so we can keep whanging away at the walls of shit with our shovels and laughing at the shit getting all over, because one of these days we will get it all cleaned up or at least not be up to our waists in shit, and we can all laugh about what a crazy fight it was, as St. Molly Ivins always kept reminding us.

In case you're new here, let me just remind you that Wonkette literally got me, Yr Dok Zoom, out of what wasn't quite poverty, but was pretty much paycheck-to-paycheck desperation. I started reading the site shortly before Barack Obama was elected, began commenting sometime in his first term, and submitted a story tip to Rebecca a few months after she bought the site for 47 dollars and a sandwich (I now understand it was a bit more than that). It was Memorial Day 2012, and she wrote back she was busy with some "stupid thing I have to do for some muneez," but would I like to try writing a blog post myself? "I understand if you say FUCK NO. But maybe you are thinking FUCK YES?" And then she warned me she paid only in Ameros. I did, the post was forgettable but OK, and then I wrote a thing (borrowed from now long-lost comments) that went semi-viral, and suddenly I was that hottest thing in publishing, a freelancer!

In less than a year, Rebecca asked you all to buy me to be your very own pet blogger, and my life suddenly became incredibly good, like as good as an Abba song. It's as good as "Dancing Queen." Thanks to the timing of the whole thing (and to Barry Obama and Nancy Pelosi), I actually had health insurance for the first time in years, a not inconsiderable thing. And you had an Editrix who was not working 12 hour days six and a half days a week and drinking too much from stress. Your continued donations helped hire Evan full time and Robyn and Bianca part time and a whole raft of freelancers, and now Rebecca is down to eight-hour days, five and a half days a week, and drinking because there's a madman in the White House and everything's terrible.

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There is a very normal article circulating on the internet right now by a fella named Don Boys (that's not the joke, the jokes are coming), who is both an insane batshit preacher, and also an insane batshit former member of the Indiana House of Representatives. (Also sometimes he blogs at the Daily Caller about how Mike Pence really went balls deep into the gay agenda when he swore in that insane batshit gay guy Rick Grenell as America's ambassador to Germany.)

This article, of course, is about Pete Buttigieg, because what are anti-gay buffoons obsessed with right now? Pete Buttigieg. Boys (still his name) is primarily concerned not with the simple fact that Buttigieg is gay, but with how gay Buttigieg really is. IN THE SEX WAY!

Well, Don, since you asked!

Shall we dive into this thing without the proper prophylactics? We shall.

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