Hillary Clinton has secured Elvis Costello to shred at her 60th birthday bash on October 25 at New York's Beacon Theatre, according to a decidedly unpretty invite on her campaign site. The party-planning committee has dubbed New York Gov. Eliot Spitzer, New Jersey Gov. Jon Corzine, New York Sen. Chuck Schumer and New York Congressman Charles Rangel as "honorary chairs," in what surely was a discriminating selection process. Tickets are tiered into "Gold" "Platinum" and "Rock Star" status, and you can become such a Hillary Clinton-certified "Rock Star" for only $2,300! What a great addition to Clinton's platform: For only $2,300, Hillary Clinton offers Americans a loophole into fame. She's yet again failed to outshine Bill, however, who got the Rolling Stones for his 60th birthday. Oh, Hillary. You'll always be several platinum albums short of Bill.

Hillary's 60th Birthday Committee [HillaryClinton.com]