Donald Trump Is No Fire Scientist, But He Knows FIRE BAD
Next up: gaslighting with actual gasoline.
Donald Trump is not a fan of science. If he absolutely has to know anything about it, he prefers to get that knowledge from the best experts, like anyone making a buck off drilling oil or cutting down trees. So it shouldn't be the least bit surprising that when he finally got around last night to mentioning the disastrous wildfires in California, he didn't mention the nine deaths so far (that header image is from a week ago) or even compliment the brave firefighters. Nah, he posted a tweet blaming everything on environmentalists. It was complete bullshit, but harked back to a favorite talking point of rightwing nutzoids: If it weren't for evil greenies, California would have more than enough water, but environmentalists hate prosperity and YOU.
So here's the genius of the man who knows global warming is a Chinese hoax to force America into economic serfdom (He deleted it, but the internet is forever):
We will say using "tree clear" as a verb phrase is one great way to smart brain there. But what the hell is Trump getting at? Does he really think California is flushing all its water into the Pacific, for funsies? Of course he does! This is because he is an idiot.
Trump Admin Warns: Good Gas Mileage Might KILL YOU
Happily, climate change will protect you from polar bears
The Trump administration is getting ready to reveal its new plans for fuel economy, and they've got a heck of a fine argument, according to a draft of the plan obtained by the Associated Press. It's really quite simple: If cars get better mileage, people will decide to drive more, and that would cause more accidents, so Team Trump will keep fuel economy low to save lives. Yes, really, not even a shrug emoji in the draft.
Florida, Man. Wonkagenda For Wed., Aug. 1, 2018
Facebook admits ongoing election fuckery (again), Trump encourages violence against media (again), baby jails are like 'summer camp' (again). Your morning news brief!
Morning Wonketariat! Here's some of the things we may be talking about today.
Fire Tornadoes? That Can't Be Good!
James Inhofe sees your fire tornado and raises you an ordinary snowball in winter.
California's on fire again. The Carr fire in Northern California has burned over 700 buildings and reached Redding, creating a "fire whirl," which sometimes is called a "fire tornado." And within the last month, there have been record heat waves in Europe, including wildfires in Greece, plus flooding AND record high temperatures in Japan, and how about 90 degrees F in Sodanklya, Finland, which is 59 miles north of the Arctic Circle. Lots of scenes of disaster like something from a Roland Emmerich movie, only without plucky teens and a cute dog. Hey, maybe we could talk about climate change, you think?
New EPA Chief Cleans Up Scott Pruitt's Final Pile Of Filthy Poo
Here is a pat on the head to encourage more good behavior. We're still watching you.
Just before he DB Coopered from the EPA with a used Trump Hotel jizz mattress and a set of bulletproof seat covers strapped to his back, Scott Pruitt granted one last deregulatory wish for merchants of dirty air. On the way out the door, Pruitt signed off on an exemption from clean-air standards for manufacturers of so-called "glider" trucks, which pair brand-new truck bodies with old polluting engines for a cheaper alternative to new trucks. Oh, yes, and they're incredibly polluting. As niche markets go, these things are even filthier than Bigfoot Porn.
Now, here's the surprise: On Friday, Pruitt's replacement, EPA acting Administrator Andrew Wheeler, actually reversed Pruitt's gift to the makers of such trucks. We aren't ready to proclaim him a crunchy granola environmental warrior hero on the basis of one good decision, but we figure members of the Trump crew deserve credit when they do good. That positive reinforcement might help remind them to do the real job of not cancering us on purpose.
Obstruction Junction! Wonkagenda For Fri., July 27, 2018
Trump's Russian world is crumbling, and more Trumpvilles and baby jails. Your morning news brief!
Morning Wonketariat! Here's some of the things we may be talking about today.
Infrastructure Week Strikes Back. Wonkagenda For Tuesday, July 24, 2018
All the news Wonkette might be talking about today!
Morning Wonketariat! Here's some of the things we may be talking about today.
OW! Endangered Species, You're Hurting Big Oil's Fists With Your Faces!
OW!
In yet another big wet kiss on the lips for land developers, oil and gas interests, ranchers, and anybody who just loves blowing diesel exhaust in the face of bicyclists and Prius drivers, the Trump administration has released an exciting new plan to gut the Endangered Species Act, fulfilling the dreams of Republicans who've been trying to stomp on little woodland creatures ever since it was passed in 1973. Get ready for a huge boom in jobs for the oppressed American worker, corporate profits, and extinctions! Or at least the latter two.
Trump Pardons Some Assholes
Lunatics absolutely sure it has to do with Hillary Clinton and Uranium One.
Donald Trump has pardoned two Oregon ranchers whose conviction on federal arson charges inspired the Bundy Slob Militia to occupy the Malheur National Wildlife Refuge in the first weeks of 2016. The pardon will spring Dwight Hammond, 76, and his son Steven Hammond, 49, from the federal pen where they've been serving five-year sentences. This a huge victory in the wingnuttosphere! Anti-government types are cheering because the pardon rolls back supposed tyrannical government overreach by the Obama administration, and makes the West safe for law-defying ranchers again. Beyond that, the truly unhinged conspiracy folks are even more thrilled, because don't you know the only reason the feds went after the Hammonds -- and Cliven Bundy, for that matter -- was so Hillary Clinton could steal their land to sell to RUSSIA for URANIUM ONE?
And Now, Scott Pruitt, Is When You GTFO
Don't let the doorknob hit ya ... wait, did someone steal the doorknob?
OH, NOES! The Titanic of Grift has finally hit the iceberg and is quickly sinking into the briny deep. Or as the Very Serious Thinkers at the Wall Street Journal put it, DEEP STATE PROGRESSIVES MURDERED SCOTT PRUITT FOR THE CRIME OF BEING TOO GOOD AT POLLUTION!
Of course! It had nothing to do with the hundreds of thousands of dollars in first-class airfare, the 19-person, 24/7 security detail with 19 tricked out vehicles, the unauthorized $43,000 cone of silence so no one could listen to him have phone sex with Big Oil, the use of flashing lights and sirens so Pruitt's motorcade could cut through DC traffic and get to dinner on time, and the boondoggle trip for Pruitt and the rest of his Oklahoma Posse to Paris and Morocco for a little EPA-sponsored sightseeing and natural gas lobbying.
So Easy To Win Like You Wouldn't Believe. Wonkagenda For Fri., July 6, 2018
Trump officially starts his trade war, mocks #MeToo and journalists, and deports enlisted soldiers. Your morning news brief.
Morning Wonketariat! Here's some of the things we may be talking about today.
Is Scott Pruitt Going To Quit Murdering The Environment To Go Murder The Russia Investigation?
Who ya gonna believe, Trump, or your lyin' eyes?
How pissed off is Tom Price right now? He slinks off into the sunset after charging the government for a few overpriced flights, while the Fireball of Grift is still parking his ass in that tricked-out EPA SUV every morning. How does Scott Pruitt drop a scandal EVERY DAY and survive? FFS, the guy has lost Laura Ingraham!
Well, it looks like The Grifter in Chief may be keeping Lil' Scotty in pocket just in case he needs someone to murder the Mueller investigation in a big hurry. CNN reports,
Nice Mom In Restaurant Non-Fracas Calmly Tells Scott Pruitt To GTFO
Come see the leftist violence inherent in the system!
Kristin Mink, who teaches sixth grade at that hotbed of radicalism DC's Sidwell Friends School, noticed a familiar face a few tables away as she, her husband, and her toddler son had lunch Monday. It was EPA Administrator Scott Pruitt, who is not healthy for children and other living things! So, knowing she might get tongue-tied talking to a famous bigwig, she jotted a couple quick notes to herself and walked over to introduce the oil industry fluffer to just one of the kids who's going to grow up on a much hotter planet thanks to Pruitt's diligent work to reverse curbs on greenhouse gases. It was exactly the sort of calamitous public confrontation the civility police have feared, except for how she was all calm and polite and stuff.
Scott Pruitt Sexted Big Oil. There Was So Much Lube.
This man knows how to dance with the ones who brung him!
Is Scott Pruitt in ethics trouble again? Is it a day ending in drinking and quiet sobbing? Saturday, the New York Times published details of a letter sent by the EPA's chief ethics officer in which the ethics guy, Kevin Minoli, said he'd recommended Pruitt be officially investigated for violations of government ethics rules. This would be the same EPA ethics guy who in the past has defended Pruitt and said his behavior is as clean as the driven snow downwind of a coal power plant.
The First Rule Of Used Trump Jizz Mattress Is You Don't Talk About Used Trump Jizz Mattress
Scott Pruitt Personally Involved in 'Ratf*cking' Ex-Aides Who He Feels Betrayed Him
You wouldn't like Scott Pruitt when he's angry.
GET OUT. Wonkagenda For Tues., June 26, 2018
Trump's trade war claims its first victims, baby jails are worse than you thought, and everyone is shitting on Rep. Maxine Waters. Your morning news brief.
Morning Wonketariat! Doktor Zoom is out this week. Here's some of the things we may be talking about today.
