LOOKS LIKE WE MADE IT. Maryland, Rhode Island Are Last Two Damn Senate Races This Year ... OR EVER????
There Will Be Fart Jokes
Yr Wonkette would never ever ever want to suggest that any Democratic-held US Senate seat is "safe," because A) we know magical thinking is insane but it's always worked for us; and 2) Noted political pundit and bringer of emergency bourbon Our Girlfriend always reminds us nothing is predictable anymore now that we all living on Hell Planet. Far be it from us to tempt the wrath of the whatever from high atop the thing. That said, we're cautiously optimistic about the prospects of Ben Cardin of Maryland and Sheldon Whitehouse of Rhode Island to each win a third term in the Senate. Yes, we already went outside, turned around and spat. And cursed.
Nationalist Trump. Wonkagenda For Wed., Oct. 24, 2018
Khashoggi murder a 'bad concept'; Trump wills a 'middle class' tax cut; and Ecuador real sick of Assange's shit. Your morning news brief!
Morning Wonketariat! Here's some of the things we may be talking about today.
The Andrew Gillum/Ron DeSantis MURRRRRDER Debate, Pt. Deux!
It's a special Florida gov debate Sunday Rundown!
Hello Wonks! Welcome to a very special Sunday Rundown as we cover some moments from the CNN's "The Florida Governor's Debate." Did Stephen already write this up? Well you can't over-cover a MURRRRDERRRR.
Moderated by Sunday Rundown favorite Jake Tapper, the debate was the very definition of contrast, from the calm and precise demeanor of Tallahassee Mayor Andrew Gillum to the more frantic and misleading nervousness of Congressman Ron DeSantis. It was a debate in which Andrew Gillum showed why he should be the next governor of Florida. You know besides that WE LURVE HIM and RON DESANTIS SUX GOATBALLS. Highlights forthwith!
Donald Trump Warns California: Stop Burning, OR ELSE
It's not global warming. It's OLD TREES.
Donald Trump had one of his periodic temper tantrums at nature yesterday, telling California at a Cabinet meeting it better stop catching fire so much or consequences will never be the same, because he's had it with all the fire. In a sequel to his fanciful belief that this summer's wildfires were the result of the state allowing rivers to flow downhill instead of damming them all, the very smart man explained the catastrophic fires happened because of "old trees" the state refused to remove, because a years-long drought and a warming planet certainly have nothing to do with it.
After Ag Secretary Sonny Perdue told Trump about the Forest Service's efforts to prevent wildfires, Trump veered off into a rant about how California refuses to pick up its tree litter, possibly because they're all Gaia-worshiping heathens who won't let industry log wherever it wants:
Who You Gonna Call? Dr. Bonesaw! Wonkagenda For Thurs., Oct. 18, 2018
Mike Pompeo didn't discuss 'the facts,' Rod Rosenstein brushes off the haters, and Facebook fucks up (again). Your morning news brief!
Morning Wonketariat! Here's some of the things we may be talking about today.
We Don't Mean To Alarm You, But The News Is Talking About Climate Change
It's your Sunday show rundown!
Hello Wonks and welcome to another edition of the Sunday Rundown! Time to look at the stupid, asinine or plain just lies spewed forth on the political Sunday shows. So let's jump right in.
Appearing on CNN's State of the Union with Jake Tapper, Senator Marco Rubio of Florida was asked about climate change and its effect on intensifying storms like Hurricane Michael or rising sea levels in Florida. Rubio began by admitting climate change was real:
'I'm Not A Baby!' Wonkagenda For Mon., Oct. 15, 2018
Trump cries he isn't a baby, Elizabeth Warren has DNA evidence, and NYTimes seeks Kanye-Republicans. Your morning news brief.
Morning Wonketariat! Here's some of the things we may be talking about today.
UN Climate Report: You Know, Guys, We *CAN* Still Fix This!!
It's an awfully nice little planet, really.
The UN's Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change (IPCC) released a major new report Monday on what needs to be done to prevent the Earth's average temperature from rising more than 1.5 degrees Celsius -- or, if you prefer your numbers less communist, 2.7 degrees David Fahrenthold -- since the start of the industrial age. The report also compares the difference between halting that increase at 1.5 degrees C, and letting average temperatures increase two degrees C, because the Paris climate goal was to limit the change to 2 C but try for 1.5. Turns out half a degree Celsius is the difference between bad things happening and extremely bad things happening to cities, agriculture, endangered species, and yes, entire nations. But there's a bit of good news: It's not inevitable, and it's not too late. Humans were smart enough to build the industrial and political systems that brought this mess, and we're also smart enough to do something about it!
Of course, one major challenge in doing something about it is electing leaders who are willing to even recognize that it's real. That means voting for people who know our survival as a species is at stake -- not just quarterly profits for the oil industry. Just a little something to remind you to get millennials out to vote. It's going to be their world, after all.
It will, of course, take more than installing curly lightbulbs or getting a more fuel-efficient car, although those are still better than doing nothing. Like, a lot more, and we have about 12 years to get our planetary shit together.
Trump's EPA Rethinking That Whole 'Radiation Is Bad For You' Thing
Robert Mercer's pee-collecting doctor pal is somehow involved in this. We just know it.
Not content with giving the USA the gifts of more toxic pesticides and filthy coal-mine runoff, the Environmental "Protection" Agency is moving to embrace the idea that some level of exposure to radiation is perfectly safe, and maybe even good for you. (Attention kids: do not try Trump Science at home.) Needless to say, some in the nuclear industry, as well as fringe scientists, fans of radiation, and those hoping to become mutant superheroes, are awfully receptive to the proposal. Honestly, now that we've decided science is just a matter of who shouts loudest, why the hell not?
Crap-Filled Carolina Rivers Visible From Space After Hurricane Florence, So That's Disgusting
Pigshit In Spaaaace!
A NASA satellite being used to track flooding following Hurricane Florence shows polluted runoff from the storm's eight trillion gallons of rain -- yes, eight trillion -- flowing into the Atlantic Ocean. The gloppy brown and black floodwaters are full of all sorts of wonderful environmentally terrible muck, and if it's any comfort, only some of it is pigshit and coal ash. No word on whether Donald Trump has seen the images and wondered if there are any neat boats in the mess.
Teenage Sex Terrorist. Wonkagenda For Tues., Sept. 25, 2018
Brett Kavanaugh dies on a cross, Trump goes to the UN, Europe keeps finding Russian spies. Your morning news brief!
Morning Wonketariat! Here's some of the things we may be talking about today.
Flood Victims Cope With Toxic Coal Ash, Pigshit, And Donald Trump
HEY A BOAT!
Hurricane Florence is gone but the flooding is still very much an issue in the Carolinas and Virginia. Thirty-seven people are dead, and flooding has resulted in spills from multiple hog farm pigshit lagoons. And to make matters worse, the area is contending with Donald Trump attempting to do "empathy," for which there are no recovery funds available.
​We Read The Hurricane Maria Mortality Report, So Trump Doesn't Have To​!
Spoiler alert, more than 16 people died!
Donald Trump really hates George Washington University's Hurricane Maria mortality report. Well, maybe not the report, because lord knows the orangutan with the mushroom dick didn't read it, like I did! It's 69 pages, he ain't got time for that! Pendejo hates the 2975 that is flashed all over the place as the official death toll. The fact is, the number is an estimate, not an actual count of for sure people who died because of the hurricane. Still, if he'd bother to read the report, rather than spend his time dyeing his Yeti pubes all night, he'd see that while it's an estimate, it's a pretty solid analysis. Shall we delve into the report, amigos? Claro que si!
Infrastructure Week: Supreme Court Edition. Wonkagenda For Tues., Sept. 18, 2018
Christine Blasey Ford to testify, Trump trade war gets worse, and Ted Cruz says Beto will ban BBQ. Your morning news brief!
Morning Wonketariat! Here's some of the things we may be talking about today.
Rock You Like A Hurricane! Wonkagenda For Fri., Sept. 14, 2018
Hurricane Florence makes landfall, Trump only trusts Stephen Miller, and Dianne Feinstein gets A LETTER about Brett Kavanaugh. Your morning news brief.
Morning Wonketariat! Here's some of the things we may be talking about today.
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Nancy Pelosi Said A Bad Again! (No She Didn't)
You can lead Republicans to context but you can't make them think.
Donald Trump has once again castigated the media for dividing America with all its fake reporting and partisan bias, so it seems like a good opportunity to look at a specific example. Mind you, it's from Trump supporters, so it may not be what the Great Man had in mind, but it's a humdinger for sure. You see, about two weeks ago, Nancy Pelosi sat down for a chat with economist and New York Times columnist Paul Krugman, and during a discussion of climate change and the economic impact of addressing it, Pelosi said, yes, certainly, any action to rescue the ecosphere from global warming would have some costs -- which she described as "collateral damage" -- to some people, but pursuing change is worth it nonetheless. True of anything government does, right?
Gee, would you have ever guessed rightwing media have decided Pelosi was actually calling for violence against anyone who dares oppose the murderous Democrat agenda? Nobody could have seen THAT coming! And yesterday, the second-ranked Republican in the US Senate, John Cornyn, passed on that purely bullshit spin and complained that people "across the political spectrum" need to speak more temperately and carefully. Maybe Senator John Cornyn should follow that advice.