Joe Biden's Got Green New Deal In Your Stimulus!

You've got stimulus in your Green New Deal!

Joe Biden has some ideas about economic stimulus. In an interview with Politico, Biden said America needs a new stimulus bill that's a "hell of a lot bigger" than last month's $2.2 trillion CARES Act to get people through the economic chaos caused by the coronavirus, as well as bold thinking that goes well beyond the immediate crisis. My gosh, it's almost as if he knows that you don't get out of economic doldrums by forcing austerity.

Also, he cussed a lot about Donald Trump's terrible management of the crisis, but limited it to hells and damns to keep it all safe for primetime TV. We'll confess, we like Angry Joe.

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Dr. Birx Did Some Sunday Shows. It Was ... Yep!

It's your Sunday Rundown!

It's another week of quarantine, caused by an infectious virus and the narcissistic and incompetent virus in the White House.

Since this pandemic began we have had two main medical experts dealing with Trump and trying to help the American people, Dr. Anthony Fauci and Dr. Deborah Birx. While they have similar goals, their approaches to walking the tightrope between informing the public while soothing Trump's fragile ego have differentiated them. Dr. Fauci, for his part, has been respectful not to go out of his way to piss off the Hamburglar-In-Chief while also informing the public. He has passed on actual real information during Trump's coronavirus briefings. For this, and for being an honest broker in this pandemic, he was rewarded by getting his wish to be portrayed on "Saturday Night Live":

But what of Dr. Birx? Well, Dr. Birx has taken a different tack. Appearing on the Sunday shows, Birx appears to have decided defending the idiocy of Trump is more important than her decades of medical credibility. At least that's what it looked like.

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Trump Administration Takes Time Out Of Busy Pandemic To Make Cars Dirty Again

It's a fuck-you to Obama, so it must be done.

The Trump administration rolled out the final version of its vehicle fuel-efficiency rules Tuesday, meaning that Trump will finally have eliminated tougher standards put in place under Barack Obama. The auto industry didn't particularly want the new rules, and several automakers plan to support higher gas-mileage standards planned by California, but now the rules are here and they're going to make you happy if you know what's good for you. The administration has had a hard time presenting any logical rationale for the rules beyond the fact that Obama wanted to reduce emissions of greenhouse gases that cause climate change, which of course is all the reason needed to dump his regulations.

EPA Administrator Andrew Wheeler said in a joint statement with the Transportation Department that the new rules delivered "on President Trump's promise to correct the current fuel economy and greenhouse gas emissions standards." No, of course he didn't explicitly spell out what needed "correcting." But clearly, dirtier air is a good thing for everyone:

Our final rule puts in place a sensible one national program that strikes the right regulatory balance that protects our environment, and sets reasonable targets for the auto industry. This rule supports our economy, and the safety of American families.

The statement reads a lot more plausibly if you imagine a guy in a suit making the universal jerking-off gesture.

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How Are We Saving The Economy Today (Besides Killing Grandma Millie)?

A quick comparison of the House and Senate plans, because we love you.

While the Senate's economic stimulus bill was bogged down yesterday over Republicans' insistence on big corporate bailouts with little oversight, Nancy Pelosi unveiled a House plan yesterday to provide economic relief to workers and businesses at risk from the effects of dealing with the coronavirus outbreak. The House bill would spend $2.5 trillion, compared to roughly $1.8 trillion in the Senate version, and appears to be largely aimed at influencing the final shape of the stimulus package to make sure Democratic priorities are included. Like, for instance, not just throwing money at giant corporations and hoping for the best. Let's take a quick look at what's in the House bill here, beyond the free solar-powered abortions for lesbian environmentalists that Fox News is already complaining about. We're drawing from summaries at Politico, Fortune, and CNBC.

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