Equally Terrible Alt-Right Groups Plan Dueling Rallies On Sunday

Hey Wonkers! What are you doing on Sunday? Well, I am working here and then I am going to brunch with my lady friends. Maybe you are also going to brunch. Maybe you are having Sunday Dinner or doing yard work or crocheting a new afghan or something. Or maybe you are just nursing your hangover. Either way, probably none of us is going to EITHER of the "alt-right" rallies this weekend in Washington, D.C.

That is right, there are two of them. Because those jerks cannot even stand themselves.

In one corner (the Lincoln Memorial), you've got the FREEDOM OF SPEECH RALLY, featuring guest speaker Richard Spencer, the inventor of the term "alt-right" and a gross white nationalist punching bag. Also that Baked Alaska dude -- the guy who used to work at Buzzfeed, went totally bonkers and became too openly Nazi for the DeploraBall, Nathan Damigo of Identity Evropa, and a bunch of other weirdos.

In the other, you've got the (eyeroll please) RALLY AGAINST POLITICAL VIOLENCE. Also being referred to as the RALLY AGAINST LEFTIST POLITICAL VIOLENCE. You know, because right-wingers are notoriously peaceful pacifist types. That one is hosted by Jack Posobiec, and includes Roger Stone, Cassandra Fairbanks, Laura Loomer (you know, the one who yelled at Julius Caesar last week), Michael Flynn, Jr, Corey Stewart (R-VA), Kyle Prescott of The Proud Boys (the milk chugging ones), and, of course, the one and only Mike Cernovich.

Of course -- it was originally just supposed to be the one rally, the first one, but some of those scheduled to speak didn't like that Richard Spencer was also speaking, because he makes them look bad. Laura Loomer felt real awkward about it, in particular, because she's Jewish and Baked Alaska had sent her a picture of Donald Trump pushing her into a gas chamber. Charming people, really! So a bunch of the scheduled speakers separated and decided to do their own rally, and now they are all bickering amongst each other.

The organizers of the initial Freedom of Speech rally expressed their disappointment by reiterating their confused interpretation of the First Amendment:

“I'm sure some of you have already heard by now, but several speakers have dropped out due to the confirmation of Richard Spencer as a speaker. Now, not only is this horribly hypocritical, but is also bordering on an Antifa principle. By not sharing the platform with someone you disagree with you are therefore not supporting their right to speak.”

SICK BURN THERE. So those on the far alt-right are now yelling at the ones one the, uh, slightly less far alt-right on social media about how they are cucks and basically SJWs now.

I checked the Twitter machine to see if Posobiec and company were lashing out at all today, but he, at least, is far too busy yelling at UPS for possibly purposely denying him a package of books he ordered because he is a veteran and they are pro-Trump books that he wrote himself.

Go watch his video (it won't embed here), because it is hilarious and I am almost in tears.

Go! Watch! I just... I do not know what to say. That is ridiculous. All of this is ridiculous, these people are ridiculous, and hopefully they will just destroy each other at some point in the near future.

[Southern Poverty Law Center]

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Robyn Pennacchia

Robyn Pennacchia is a brilliant, fabulously talented and visually stunning angel of a human being, who shrugged off what she is pretty sure would have been a Tony Award-winning career in musical theater in order to write about stuff on the internet. Follow her on Twitter at @RobynElyse


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