Everybody Please Prepare To Have Jim Newell Back At Wonkette, Next Week



That is what your semi-managing editor has to say about this important news, from your beloved past-and-future Wonkette typing monster of Capitol Hill, Jim Newell:

An Important Announcement Regarding Your Gawker Political Desk: Goodbye

Tuesday greetings from the Gawker Political Desk! We have some news: This will be the last post for its main political writer, me.


I am leaving to fulfill my lifelong dream: Building a golden shrine to our nation's Romulus and Remus of the future, Newt Gingrich and Herman Cain, in the Secret Forest. It's an option, at least. (No.)

Where you'll find me now: Next week I'm going to be guest-blogging with my good friend Ken Layne and his staff at Wonkette, the first Gawker Media site that hired me to write about politics in 2007. It's going to be fun. I'm hoping to contribute more to The Guardian's US site. I have a lengthy piece that will appear in next month's relaunch edition of The Baffler about my experience in a high school monetary policy competition. (Seriously.)

So, now that our late-night gmail conversations are public knowledge, Wonkette is very happy to announce that Jim Newell is Wonkette's new Senior Editor at Large or whatever title we are making up, and you can expect to see his vicious and insightful prose right here, starting next week, again, and hopefully continuing on whatever level we can keep him contributing, until the End of the World, may God Have Mercy On Us All.

Welcome back, Newell. We have missed you a lot.

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The Church of Scientology had some thoughts about Our Robyn's piece, Who Wants To Watch A Creepy White Guy Rap About Scientology? We had some thoughts about their thoughts.

Thanks for writing in, Scientology! As you doubtless realized when you didn't demand we take down our story, but requested it instead, our opinions of your weird cult and that poor young man's rap skills are protected by the First Amendment. (I learned about libel law in college and grad school but also on the job: I was in newspapers so long that I was actually colleagues with Tony Ortega -- about whom you sound quite "venomous" and "biased" -- at the very same newspaper chain you can't believe he defended! Next up, please show your due diligence by talking trash about a woman you didn't know was my mom.)

Also, a lot of your former members say on the record that you kidnap people, and stalk them, and harass them, and sometimes beat them up good, and I request that if so, fucking stop it.

The rest of you click the headline, if you want your OPEN THREAD.

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Monday's Trump-Putin press conference landed on the entire free world like a hot treason-shaped turd, didn't it? Congressional Republicans have been saying mean things about it on Twitter, and even Fox News has been less than 100% supportive! The White House communications department obviously knew it had a crisis on its hands, what with how it's generally considered inappropriate for the leader of the free world to get on all fours in front of the Russian president and wag his tail and slobber with anticipation while he awaits his next marching orders. WOMP WOMP, etc.

So the comms department typed up a thing for the president to read aloud today at the beginning of his meeting with members of Congress, about how he was VERY SORRY he said one word incorrectly during the Putin presser. That's right, only one word of that whole fucking shitshow was wrong. All the rest of his traitor words were exactly what he meant to say.

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