Ex-Doorman Now Free To Dish About Trump's Alleged 'Love Child.'
Earlier this week, we learned all about how Michael Pecker, the Chairman and Chief Executive of the National Enquirer, conspired with Michael Cohen and the Trump campaign to purchase the rights to a number of stories about his adulterous tendencies that could have hypothetically damaged Trump's campaign. We were all so innocent then!
One of these "catch and kill" stories came from Dino Sajudin, a former doorman at Trump World Tower, who claims he was told not to criticize one of the housekeepers there, on account of the fact that she was the mother of Trump's secret love child. While we've kind of known about this story for a while, Sajudin has now been released from his contract and is now able to speak freely about both that and about his contract with the National Enquirer.
CNN obtained the details of the contract on Friday night, showing that Sajudin had been paid $30,000 for his story -- and that his contract included a provision noting that if he told anyone about what happened that he would owe American Media, Inc. (the Enquirer's parent company) one million dollars. While the contract does not explicitly say what the story was about, it does state "Source shall provide AMI with information regarding Donald Trump's illegitimate child..."
The story and knowledge of the contract's existence had previously been leaked in April, though at the time, A.M.I. was all "We don't know her" about Sajudin and claimed that no such contract even existed.
So far, with the few details we have, the story is a little strange. There's almost a 100% certainty that there are some little fatherless Trumps out there, but I admittedly have some questions about this. Was he continuing his affair with her? If not, then why was she still working there? That just seems like a weird thing to do. You'd think he'd at least pay her off or something like he did all the other ladies he sexed up while he was married. Also, why would it have been the doorman's business to criticize a housekeeper anyway?
If true, this would likely have no discernible effect on Trump voters, who already don't care about things he has done that are much worse than adultery. Were this another time, another president, this would probably be some kind of actual scandal, but let's be real -- it ranks about 9,999,999th on the list of ways in which he is an obvious scumbag.
Anyway, in celebration of this latest thing we're going to pretend will totally end Trump and lead to him being impeached, let's all listen to some jams about... babies born out of wedlock?
I am not sure this song counts, but Rebecca says it does, so I shall defer to her. I can't get past the part about "the seed inside you" without turning it off and screaming "OH GOD WHY? NO! MAKE IT STOP!" so maybe it comes after that? It is perhaps the only thing about as nauseating as thinking about some poor woman having to have sex with Donald Trump, so it at least fits in that way.
SHUDDERS ALL AROUND.
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Robyn Pennacchia is a brilliant, fabulously talented and visually stunning angel of a human being, who shrugged off what she is pretty sure would have been a Tony Award-winning career in musical theater in order to write about stuff on the internet. Previously, she was a Senior Staff Writer at Death & Taxes, and Assistant Editor at The Frisky (RIP). Currently, she writes for Wonkette, Friendly Atheist, Quartz and other sites. Follow her on Twitter at @RobynElyse