Ex-Gays Returning To Washington To Cruise For Relevance, Dick
Emboldened by the rousing success that was last year’s “Ex-Gay Pride” weekend, ex-gay guy Christopher “No Homo” Doyle and his organization, Voice For The Voiceless, are returning for an encore performance. Will they be able to top last year’s convention, which was marked by a rally at the Supreme Court attended by a crowd that, er, swelled to an estimated 10 people?
Tumescent almost to bursting with stories to tell about their ex-gayness, the event’s participants are promised two full days of activities in Washington, D.C., including a day of lobbying senators and representatives for … something or other. Federal funding for the work of reparative therapists like Marcus Bachmann, maybe? Amending the Civil Rights Act to categorize People Too Dumb to Understand That Bisexual Is a Thing as a protected class? Being boring and un-fabulous like all the other middle-aged heterosexual schlubs?
The line-up of activities includes a breakfast with libido killer Alan Keyes, the bestowing of something called the Friend of Ex-Gays Freedom Award on wingnut yapper Sandy Rios, and a screening of the documentary “Sing Over Me,” the “gritty yet beautiful, gut-wrenching while hopeful” documentary about Dennis Jernigan, a man whose faith in God helped him to overcome his gayness. For as Jesus said in some proverb or other, “Thou mayest follow Me, whomever you are: the beggar, the infirm, the afflicted. But no homo.”
The event’s organizers state [.pdf] that they “require attendees to sign and adhere to certain standards of conduct, and [are] not responsible for the individual conduct of attendees.” So fellas, go right ahead and post that ad in the Craigslist Washington D.C. M4M section, there is no judgment here, wink-wink, nudge-nudge.
There is nothing on the schedule of events to indicate the ex-gays will hold another rally in front of the Supreme Court, but we suppose if the entire weekend goes by with no hot man-on-man action between any two (or more! You know how those gays are!) male attendees, the conference can be considered a rising … er, rousing success.