This ad, playing in Ohio, rests its case! Barack Obama will not bring you wealth and prosperity (except for how he will totally mandate reparations, but shhhh), and Lincoln freed the slaves. That one guy, the one talking before the stock photo couple, he is totally convincing with his Mormonish "revelations." (Sorry we are reading Krakauer's Under the Banner of Heaven right now, about the polygamous Mormon fundies, and it is alllll about revelations ... to KILL!)

And the stock photo couple, they look so sweet! (What are they doing there? You know, just chillin' and bein' black.) And Abraham Lincoln did free the slaves! (It is sad that they can't find an example later than 1965, but what are you gonna do?) So good job with your ad buy, um, "Empower Citizens Network." Totally good ROI. You know where else you could get just as good a return? A little place we like to call "" Check us before you wreck us! (Because clearly you have too much fucking money.)


Rebecca Schoenkopf

Rebecca Schoenkopf is the owner, publisher, and editrix of Wonkette. She is a nice lady, SHUT UP YUH HUH. She is very tired with this fucking nonsense all of the time, and it would be terrific if you sent money to keep this bitch afloat. She is on maternity leave until 2033.


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