F9/11 Premiere Party: Tips, Ratings

Arrived at Adams Morgan's Left Bank restaurant at 11:10PM. Crowd of onlookers, a remaining local news film crew made lying to the woman at the door slightly more difficult. And in any case, the lie proved fruitless.

Party crashing tip #1: Be sure to impersonate someone who is actually on the guest list.

Party crashing tip #2: "But my husband is already inside!" is the "Sure, I'll call you tomorrow" of party crashing. They've heard it before, they won't believe it even if it's true.

Party crashing tip #3: Jumping up and down and trying to get someone's attention at a crowded bar will only amuse the bouncers. They will not help you.

Party crashing tip #4: Marry someone who is a former colleague of the guest of honor and happens to be talking to the guest of honor right at the moment you finally get his attention.

We give the Fahrenheit 9/11 Premiere Party a "9" (out of 11) on the "ease-of-crashing" scale. Other notable ratings:

Celebrity: 40 watts. (Pretty dim.) With Sally Fields not in attendance, Michael Moore has to carry the famous-even-for-not-D.C. weight all on his own. Who is he carrying? Among others: Rep. Rahm Emanuel, Newsweek's [I wasn't even that drunk.] Time's Karen Tumulty, Jeff Zeleny from the Tribune, Dick Kiel again, Mike "The Margarita Machine Was My Idea" Feldman, the adorable Mike Allen, the imperial Leon Wieseltier (overheard dissing the movie's "infantile leftism"), Campbell Brown (chainsmoking), and -- could it be a D.C. party without him? -- Joe Lockhart. And almost forgot: Chris Lehane, saying something about Moore imploding over an intern issue.

Security threat level: Orange. Or acting like it. Moore had four (maybe five?) extremely handsome black men doing crowd control at his booth at the back of the restaurant. Wires coming out of their ears, talking into their sleeves, the whole bit. Was lucky enough to slip and have to grab one of them in the ass area (firm!). Even luckier: Husband and guest of honor had already established personal lack of threat.

Food: Atkins approved! Sushi, salmon, and some cow-derived meat. Mini cakes and tarts for dessert.

Drinks: Free.

Popular topics of conversation:

  1. The "seven minutes" scene. (Overheard: "That is not a look you want to see on your president's face.")

  2. Use of music. (Either loved its aptness or found it cloyingly obvious. "Oooh, he's going on vacation, so they play 'Vacation'!")

  3. Will it help or hurt Kerry? (Some Dems unhappily noting that McAuliffe and Moore had been photographed together.)

  4. Footage of dying babies: Powerful statement or emotional pornography?

  5. Who else is here?

Out at 1:30AM, in bed by 2.


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