F9/11 Premiere Party: Tips, Ratings

Arrived at Adams Morgan's Left Bank restaurant at 11:10PM. Crowd of onlookers, a remaining local news film crew made lying to the woman at the door slightly more difficult. And in any case, the lie proved fruitless.

Party crashing tip #1: Be sure to impersonate someone who is actually on the guest list.

Party crashing tip #2: "But my husband is already inside!" is the "Sure, I'll call you tomorrow" of party crashing. They've heard it before, they won't believe it even if it's true.

Party crashing tip #3: Jumping up and down and trying to get someone's attention at a crowded bar will only amuse the bouncers. They will not help you.

Party crashing tip #4: Marry someone who is a former colleague of the guest of honor and happens to be talking to the guest of honor right at the moment you finally get his attention.

We give the Fahrenheit 9/11 Premiere Party a "9" (out of 11) on the "ease-of-crashing" scale. Other notable ratings:

Celebrity: 40 watts. (Pretty dim.) With Sally Fields not in attendance, Michael Moore has to carry the famous-even-for-not-D.C. weight all on his own. Who is he carrying? Among others: Rep. Rahm Emanuel, Newsweek's [I wasn't even that drunk.] Time's Karen Tumulty, Jeff Zeleny from the Tribune, Dick Kiel again, Mike "The Margarita Machine Was My Idea" Feldman, the adorable Mike Allen, the imperial Leon Wieseltier (overheard dissing the movie's "infantile leftism"), Campbell Brown (chainsmoking), and -- could it be a D.C. party without him? -- Joe Lockhart. And almost forgot: Chris Lehane, saying something about Moore imploding over an intern issue.

Security threat level: Orange. Or acting like it. Moore had four (maybe five?) extremely handsome black men doing crowd control at his booth at the back of the restaurant. Wires coming out of their ears, talking into their sleeves, the whole bit. Was lucky enough to slip and have to grab one of them in the ass area (firm!). Even luckier: Husband and guest of honor had already established personal lack of threat.

Food: Atkins approved! Sushi, salmon, and some cow-derived meat. Mini cakes and tarts for dessert.

Drinks: Free.

Popular topics of conversation:

  1. The "seven minutes" scene. (Overheard: "That is not a look you want to see on your president's face.")

  2. Use of music. (Either loved its aptness or found it cloyingly obvious. "Oooh, he's going on vacation, so they play 'Vacation'!")

  3. Will it help or hurt Kerry? (Some Dems unhappily noting that McAuliffe and Moore had been photographed together.)

  4. Footage of dying babies: Powerful statement or emotional pornography?

  5. Who else is here?

Out at 1:30AM, in bed by 2.

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'Miga and Carlos' by Wonkette Operative 'Chica'

It's Father's Day, which means it's time for Yr Dok Zoom and his son to go to brunch and check out the downtown Boise Father's Day Car Show so we can ooh and ah over the very same Corvettes 'n' Mustangs 'n' lovingly-restored classic cars that are there every year, and I will probably once again point at the '68 Beetle converted to run on electricity and say, "Oh look, a Voltswagen!" Traditions matter. (Kid Zoom is 22, so I may also/instead meet him for cocktails later like grown up human people.)

Don't worry about any deep thoughts on the Meaning of Fatherhood here -- we're just going to enjoy the goofy side of dadding, which as far as I'm concerned is the best thing I've done with my time. Especially since my role model for parenting was the unnamed Dad from "Calvin and Hobbes."

As any fool knows, ice rises to the top of liquids because it's cold, and just wants to be closer to the sun so it can warm up. It's all in the book you get when you become a father.

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