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Failed Republican Windbag Karen Handel Self-Aborts From Komen

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A week after 100-percent prime Republican Karen Handel and her completely non-ideological money thing that "best" "serves" women decided to cut its funding to Planned Parenthood because it was "under investigation" by crazies, and then undecided to once more, Handel announced her resignation Tuesday as senior vice president of public affairs in a terribly rude missive of the kind that suggests this zygote-loving failed politician did not want to go gently into obscurity/a night of passion with Meg Whitman. “I am deeply disappointed by the gross mischaracterizations of the strategy, its rationale, and my involvement in it," Handel said, spoken like a true loser politician.


Handel said discussions about cutting funding to Planned Parenthood began before she joined the foundation last year, and then became Reality once she, pro-lifer and one-time wannabe Republican governor of Georgia (she lost to Governor Nathan Deal, also a Republican, in a phenomenon known as Palin's Razor), showed up. “Neither the decision nor the changes themselves were based on anyone’s political beliefs or ideology." Sure sure. But the funny part about that is that when the foundation reversed its decision last week, it said:

Our original desire was to fulfill our fiduciary duty to our donors by not funding grant applications made by organizations under investigation. We will amend the criteria to make clear that disqualifying investigations must be criminal and conclusive in nature and not political. That is what is right and fair.

Somewhere, zygote charm bracelet-wearing chatty jackass Rick Santorum is holding a candlelight vigil for all the people who made the machines that made the money that is paying for the 750,000-per-annum breast cancer screenings that Planned Parenthood funds, and which it got lots more money to fund when this whole debacle went pleasantly viral. [AP]

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An unhinged wannabe fascist who tweets about golden showers did a news conference in the Rose Garden this afternoon. Also, Donald Trump was there.

Brazilian president Jair Bolsonaro is in town, and everything about today's public appearance with Trump and Bolsonaro has been real stupid, just like how it was real stupid when Bolsonaro's stupid son was the stupid guest of honor the other night at a stupid Steve Bannon event at the stupid Trump trash palace hotel in DC.

During their pool spray, Trump excitedly told reporters that he was making plans to give NATO privileges to Brazil, because of how Brazil elected a big gross dipshit just like America did. Of course, considering how Trump treats actual NATO countries, Bolsonaro might want to reconsider whether he wants that.

Then a reporter asked him about his blubbering whiny-ass attacks on John McCain, who is still dead.

That's right, Donald Trump didn't even avoid the question about his very embarrassing behavior. He spoke about McCain as if McCain were still alive, whined about McCain killing Obamacare repeal, and concluded by saying, "I was never a fan of John McCain, and I never will be." As for McCain, he will continue living rent-free in the president's nightmares and his face will be the face of Trump's insecurities, because we guess that's what happens to John McCains when they die.

But enough about the pool spray! After they met in the Oval Office and did whatever fascists who should be prohibited entry to the White House via an electric doggie fence do (sniffed each other's butts, probably), they entered the Rose Garden and proceeded to hike their legs on democracy some more.

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Yep, we're breaking out the Wikimedia kitten image for this one.

CNN is out today with a story on members of the anti-vaccination/pro-disease movement who have found a delightful new way to win converts to their side in the war on science: find parents (mothers, generally) who have recently lost a child to a preventable disease, and then harass them on social media, because after all, good people refuse vaccines and anyone who advocates for vaccines must be burned to the ground. As your lawyer (we are not a lawyer), we advise you to secure any hurlable heavy objects near you before reading.

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