Failed SNL Comedienne Declares Sarah Palin the 'Perfect Feminist'


Famous SNL cast member and avant-garde Toonces The Driving Cat comedienne Victoria Jackson is finally peaking after a long career of enormous unfunniness. let's look at her newest piece of hilarious political satire:

The perfect Feminist is Sarah Palin. She is beautiful, thin, even athletic, successful, happily married, a good mother and a grandmother. She’s got it all – everything those Suffragettes were fighting for back in 1920. Not only can she vote, she got voted for! And, she was a great Governor. She’s got everything those sixties Gloria Steinem’s wanted. But, the Gloria’s won’t admit it because Sarah thinks “right.” Liberals want tolerance, but only for themselves.
Yes, Sarah Palin is just Like Ruth Bader Ginsberg! Victoria then flexes her comedy muscles and digresses, for the rest of the piece, on her failed career, IN SONG:
The last month of my LA leased apartment, I got a pilot with Sofia Vergara, Joey Lawrence, and Jon Lovitz. (It ultimately landed in the garbage can but I got a nice check.). My family was back in Florida so I wrote this sad song;

Two Weeks Away

There’s a cat litter box with no kitty poop in it.

There is silence in every room.

There are toys here and there,

But no laughter anywhere.

Shadows dance as I wade through the gloom.

I stop and stare at pictures on the wall.

They seem to caaaaalll out my name.

But when I touch their precious faces

It’s just paper and glass in a frame.

I tell myself I’m not sad, this is good, it’s not bad.

I must work, they are safe, I’m just an airplane away.

But after a while, I just can’t fake a smile,

I’ll go back, I’ll go back, I’ll go back.

One’s at the computer.

One watches cartoons.

Mommy’s cooking spinach,

Daddy vacuums.

Just to know they’re nearby

Is the joy of a home.

In the corner of my eye watching them play,

Is the bliss that I miss at a moment like this,

So I cry, so I cry, so I cry;

You are my sunshine, my only sunshine

You make me happy when skies are gray

You’ll never know dear how much I love you

Please don’t take my sunshine away. ...

... Feminism. Such a strange word. When I hear it I first think of the most masculine and angry women, women with not a shred of femininity. Funny how words are. Then, I think of the meaning they want it to hold. And that word is Sarah Palin.


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