Fake Republican Candidate Trump May Also Run As Fake Independent

Fake Republican Candidate Trump May Also Run As Fake Independent

How long will Donald Trump stick around? Well, he's still got some more election stuff to pretend he's going to do. "The concern is if I don’t win [the GOP primary] will I run as an independent, and I think the answer is probably yes," theWall Street Journalreports him as saying, and we're not going to bother listening to their interview—let's go with that. So that counts as a news cycle right there. And threatening to run as an independent is great because Trump can continue threatening to jump in the race pretty much right up to the last minute next November. How many more news cycles can Trump ring out of saying stuff about politics like this? Let's count it up.

  • ACORN: Why is nobody talking about ACORN any more? They don't want to win the Republican nomination, that's why! Trump can release a new ACORN conspiracy theory every day for about a week before it gets too old. And it'll probably put him in the lead of GOP nomination polls. 7 DAYS
  • Announce plans to join his first presidential debate 1 DAY
  • Back out of presidential debate because some unpopular fringe candidate is there 1 DAY
  • Vow to create own TRUMP-SIZE presidential debate 1 DAY
  • Decide no other candidates are worthy to attend Trump debate 1 DAY
  • Hold Trump debate with Donny Deutsch or somebody like that 1 DAY
  • Bring up Bill Ayers issue, bring to light "new evidence," spit on an avowed communist in the MSNBC studio, etc. 6 DAYS
  • Dumb viral video 1 DAY
  • Video announcing upcoming "big announcement" 1 DAY
  • Big announcement: Trump broke ground on a golf course 1 DAY
  • Bring up the Obama scar issue 2 DAYS
  • Have news cameras catch him arguing with a woman outside an abortion clinic 1 DAY
  • Go to Tawain, make some threats against China 1 DAY
  • Pose with Taiwanese businessmen, point weapon at China 1 DAY
  • Force White House to disavow Trump's threats as U.S. policy 1 DAY
  • Pretend to be somebody's vice presidential candidate: This comes towards the end of the fake campaign right when it seems Trump will have to back out of his fake race. Trump will say publicly he's willing to crush Obama as the Republican front-runner's running mate. 1 DAY
  • Get in a fight with the fake running-mate: The next day, Trump decides the front-runner is weak on one issue or another and backs out of his offer to be vice president. 1 DAY
  • Vow to get back in the race and crush the former fake running-mate. He must be taken down! 1 DAY
  • Announce new reality teevee show, say politics is for chumps 1 DAY

Total: 31 more days of this. But there are definitely more in the middle there. We got bored.

We. [WSJ]


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