Falls Church: Putting the 'Prick' in 'Bishopric'
The vigilant members of Virginia's largest Episcopal parish have drafted a letter to the upper reaches of the church's hierarchy to compel their straying pastor, the Right Rev. Peter H. Lee, to "repent and return to the truth." The Right (or evidently, not-so-Right) Rev.'s transgression, reports the Washington Times's Julia Duin, was his decision to support the ordination of New Hampshire's openly gay bishop, the Rt. Rev. V. Gene Robinson. The congregation's bully exhortations are modeled on a passage in Matthew 18:15-17, which lays out strangely specific instructions for reproving a "brother [who] sins against you," which would culminate in treating the ill-behaving soul "as you would a pagan or a tax collector." But the congregants were just revving up their literalist sanctimony, it turns out. They went on to admonish Rev. Lee for arguing that gay parishioners and clergy should be welcomed on the same principle that brought Gentiles into the believing fold some 2,000 years ago. That species of reasoning, the righteous congregants sniffed, is "selective and careless exegesis that could be used to condone any sin, sexual or otherwise."
Hear, hear. Which is why we anxiously await the return of full-blown scriptual inerrancy to Falls Church, where life in any event is far too sleepy. We envision the morally certain Falls Church faithful moving through the fetid dens of suburban sin in a flying wedge--stoning adulterers out on Route 29, hanging Quakers out in the parking lot of the Seven Corners Home Depot, torching all area IHOPs for failing to boil their cookware as spelled out in Leviticus. After all, it's not as if any scriptural authority exists to contradict them. --HOLLY MARTINS
Virginia Parish Demands Leader 'Repent' [Washington Times]