Famous Floridian Jeb Bush Won't Endorse *Any* GOP Candidate

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Jeb Bush, currently one of the less loathed of the metastatic Bush dynasty, sure is one cool, cool customer! With the Florida GOP primary just around the corner, the former governor has revealed that he will"stay neutral," despite the judicious application of prostrate groveling from Newt Gingrich, Mitt Romney, and Rick Santorum. We must hand it to these Bushes: if they don't want to do it, it is just not getting done! Papa GHW Bush made this abundantly clear when he qualified his tepid December endorsement of Mitt Romney as "unofficial." (Could a notary public not be located?)


You may want to copy down the following bit of mealy-mouthed diplomacy for the next time you need to equivocate among three separate but equally horrendous choices:

“I like Mitt Romney; I think he would be a very credible challenger to President Obama,” said Bush, adding the same of Gingrich -- “and so would Rick Santorum, by the way.”

An endorsement from Jeb Bush has not always been so difficult to procure. A cursory search of the tubes turns up a glut of political endorsements from just the last couple of years, and for such august positions as Arizona Superintendent of Public Instruction, representative from California's 9th district, and mayor of Jacksonville. Even soon-to-be-deposed Wisconsin governor Scott Walker once managed to garner a pat on the back from Jeb.

So what makes this particular race so different? Jeb would have us believe that "the voters can make up their own minds" on this one. Which sounds like a completely plausible cop-out! Well, um, thank you (we guess?) for being polite, and not collapsing into giggles any time one of these horror monkeys' name is brought up. That will definitely make the upcoming Republican convention in Tampa, FLORIDA, just that much more comfortable for all involved! [Bloomberg]

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