2020 presidential election
Jared Kushner Knows Black Voters Hate The Word 'Freedom,' But They Love Empty Slogans
Get ready to drown your platform in the bathtub, Republican Party!
May 26, 2020 03:42 PM
If Jared Kushner wants to do for the Trump campaign what he did for the Middle East, government data management, the opioid crisis, and the coronavirus pandemic response, who are we to get in his way? Godspeed, you magnificent genius!
Or, wait ... should we say, OH NO WE ARE DOOMED? How can we possibly compete with the political Wunderkind who sleeps next to the president's daughter?
Whatever.
Axios reports that Trump's jack of all trades son-in-law has set himself the task of revamping the Republican Party platform in advance of the convention. Which will be held in North Carolina. Or possibly Georgia. Or maybe Florida. The point is, Jared will be deciding what the GOP cares about, not the RNC, not the voters, not the delegates. And Jared, in his unmatched wisdom, has decided that what voters want is a listicle.
<blockquote style="margin-left: 20px;">
The president's son-in-law and top adviser has told confidants he wants to shrink the GOP's extensive platform of policy beliefs and principles down to a single card that fits in people's pockets. That's a huge change. The 2016 platform runs 58 pages — the product of extensive debate and heated negotiations. <br>
<br>
Kushner told colleagues he wanted "something like the 10 principles we believe in," per two sources familiar with his comments.</blockquote><p>A GOP platform so small you can drown it in the bathtub! After which you can put a stamp on it and use it to file your taxes. <a href="https://www.businessinsider.com/can-you-file-taxes-on-a-postcard-under-trump-tax-bill-ivanka-2017-12" target="_blank">Or not.</a></p><p class="shortcode-media shortcode-media-twitter_embed">
<iframe width="100%" height="150" scrolling="no" class="rm-shortcode twitter-embed-943839117456150528" id="twitter-embed-943839117456150528" type="lazy-iframe" data-runner-src="/res/community/twitter_embed/?iframe_id=twitter-embed-943839117456150528&created_ts=1513863755.0&screen_name=FoxNews&text=.%40IvankaTrump%3A+%22I%27m+really+looking+forward+to+doing+a+lot+of+traveling+in+April+when+people+realize+the+effect+that%E2%80%A6+https%3A%2F%2Ft.co%2FI8llOgBS2F&id=943839117456150528&name=Fox+News" frameborder="0" data-rm-shortcode-id="a18f9e3f385e729cd7403d5c416e31db"></iframe>
</p><p>The point is, Jared has his finger on the pulse of the African American community, and he knows that black people don't like the word "freedom." </p><blockquote>Kushner also argued against rebranding "School Choice" as "Education Freedom Scholarships," because he said the latter phrase doesn't resonate with African Americans.<br><br>Two sources said they recalled Kushner making a more sweeping point — that they should rethink using the word "freedom" altogether in the GOP platform because polling showed it doesn't appeal to African Americans.</blockquote><p>Sorry, WUT?</p><p>It's all about not alienating the voters, see? So if they can reduce everything the GOP stands for to a handful of punchy bumper sticker slogans, then they can keep the rubes riled up with meaningless jingoism and distracted from the spectacularly botched COVID-19 response and wrecked economy. </p><p>And it's not like the GOP actually stands for any of that small government, personal morality, balanced budget shit they're always yammering about anyway — why not just cut to the nativist chase and call it the cult of personality we all know it is?</p><p>Plus, all that stuff about letting quack doctors pray the gay away from kids is just a distraction anyway. It's the GOP — the bigotry is already priced in. Too many details just divert people from the party's main mission to loot the treasury for rich people and lock poor brown refugee kids in cages. Focus, people!</p><p>Axios reports that, "A one-page platform has been drafted, but only a few people have seen it." Jared's Crayola postcard of MBA buzzwords must have gotten lost at the printer. Or the dog ate his homework. Or maybe Ronna Romney McDaniels and the rest of the RNC bigwigs were hoping he'd get distracted and wander off to <em>not fix</em> some other problem, the way he's done for literally every other job in the White House. (Yeah, it's probably that one.)</p><p>At this point, the GOP has so thoroughly merged with Donald Trump that it functions as a pimple on his orange ass. So if Jared's attention span holds up, he'll probably get his way and the RNC delegates will sign off on his bumper sticker policy plan. Traditionally the platform has been hotly debated, with influential groups vying to merge their own goals with the party's. Remember, in 2016<a href="https://www.wonkette.com/americas-foreign-policy-for-sale-under-the-trump-regime-tha-fuck-you-say" target="_blank"> someone cared enough</a> about it to insist that support for arming Ukraine against Russian aggression got edited out, a position which just so happened to align with the views of the country that was flooding social media with pro-Trump propaganda. But if Jared wants to substitute a car air freshener for the Christmas tree where everyone gets to hang an ornament, well, have at it big fella. And don't let anyone tell you that holding that campaign planning session in the Eisenhower Executive Office Building is probably a misuse of government resources and makes all your communications subject to the Presidential Records Act. Just forge right ahead and MBAsplain 'em real good!<span></span></p><p>[<a href="https://www.axios.com/republican-platform-jared-kushner-56cb19ee-d6c7-409e-93e5-088eebd82825.html" target="_blank">Axios</a>]</p><p><span></span><strong>Follow Liz Dye on Twitter <a href="https://twitter.com/5DollarFeminist" target="_blank">RIGHT HERE!</a></strong><br></p><p><strong>Please click here to support your Wonkette. And if you're ordering your quarantine goods on Amazon, <a href="https://amzn.to/2wbH77j" target="_blank">this is the link to do it.</a></strong></p><p></p><form name="donation" method="post" class="donation-form"><p class="subheadline">How often would you like to donate?</p><div class="form-row row--plan"><label class="plan-type__label"><input type="radio" name="plan_type" value="once" class="plan-type" required="" checked> Just once
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coronavirus
Icky CO Restaurant That Got In Trouble For Mother's Day Antics Sues State For Mimosa Discrimination
Guess the state just hates brunch.
May 26, 2020 12:20 PM
This past Mother's Day, the C&C Coffee and Kitchen in Castle Rock, Colorad defied COVID-19-regulations and opened for business, serving crowds of selfish morons who decided that their desire for a nice brunch vastly outweighed any care they might have for the lives and well-being of others. This is both an ongoing theme in America and a swell idea for the plot of a Stephen King book.
Oh, just look at how happy all of these people were that day! Not a care in the world! Because of how they are all dangerous sociopaths.
That joy, however, did not last for long, as the C&C Virus Factory swiftly had its license suspended for defying public health orders — which the state is very much allowed to do. The restaurant's owners, Jesse and April Arellano. however, maintain that the state does not have this authority, and as such, filed a lawsuit on Friday in Douglas County Court claiming the action "is unlawful, unprecedented and highly suspect."
Oh man, wait til they find out about OSHA.
<p>Via <a href="https://www.thedenverchannel.com/news/coronavirus/owners-of-castle-rock-diner-sue-health-departments-gov-polis-over-decision-to-shut-down-restaurant" target="_blank">The Denver Channel:</a></p><blockquote>The lawsuit blames Gov. [Jared] Polis, the State of Colorado, the CDPHE, the Tri-County Health Department (TCHD), and the executive director of the CDPHE, Jill Hunsaker Ryan, of depriving the Arellanos "of their livelihood and ability to operate their business after they simply allowed customers onto their premises to serve food and beverages."<br><br>The complaint goes on to state the aforementioned defendants in the case "arbitrarily and irrationally" selected small businesses like C&C Coffee and Kitchen in Castle Rock "to continue to bear the burden of what can only be deemed a speculative concern" over the risks associated with the novel coronavirus and the disease it causes, COVID-19.</blockquote><p>A "speculative concern"? Do these people think that this whole pandemic is just some kind of cover and that the real goal of the public health orders around the whole entire country is to shut down one random restaurant in Colorado that no one outside that town had heard of before Mother's Day of this year? Like we're all self-isolating because we hate their pancakes and want them to be sad?<br></p><p>Apparently!</p><blockquote>"Certainly, the Plaintiffs opening their restaurant to customers, when so many other businesses are permitted to open their doors to customers, does not constitute an "imminent health threat.""</blockquote><p>Except that it does? Like, that is literally <em>why</em> they were not allowed to open. <em>There is no other reason.</em> No one has a vendetta against mimosas. </p><p>And yet, the owners are claiming that this is exactly what is going on. They are being discriminated against because the state does not consider mimosas a "critical service." </p><blockquote>The lawsuit further claims the governor's executive and public health orders, issued under the Colorado Disaster Emergency Relief Act – which addresses all phases of emergency management – do not give him authorization to "designate and discriminate among various types of citizens and business for selective imposition of emergency orders."<br><br>"Nothing within the enabling legislation of the Act provides that the Governor may issue such comprehensive orders and <strong>regulations that discriminate between "critical" and "non-critical" services</strong>, dictate strict limitations on how businesses must operate, and/or selectively target certain businesses, or a single business, for enforcement or punishment," the lawsuit states. "At best, the legislation allows for rules of general applicability over a certain "area" but not the type of intrusive micromanagement over the economy and individual business operations that the Governor seeks to impose."</blockquote><p>No one is being selectively targeted. The government decided that people going grocery shopping is necessary, because if they don't have food they will die, and because it is safer than going to a restaurant. Duh. It's not discrimination, it's common sense. Unless you don't believe that COVID-19 is actually a dangerous contagious disease, which appears to be the case for the owners of C&C Mucus Factory:</p><p>The complaint also goes on to state that the defendants in the case violated the due process rights of the owners of C&C in Castle Rock when they shut down their business without a hearing and have placed the owners – as well as other small business owners – in a fundamentally unfair and irrational situation that sets a dangerous precedent "based on unproven scientific allegations by the Governor."</p><p>Yeah, those "scientific allegations" are very much proven!</p><blockquote>Further, the lawsuit states that the governor, as well as the state and tri-county health departments, acted with "particular hostility and desire for revenge" when issuing orders to suspend the café's license indefinitely, which "represent an unconscionable and malicious act designed with the specific intent to punish Plaintiffs rather than abate an "imminent" health hazard.</blockquote><p>Except that the reason they shut the restaurant down was because they <em>created</em> an imminent health hazard. That is why people were mad at them. That is why they were in trouble. </p><p>As if this couldn't be more absurd, the lawsuit then brings the Fourteenth Amendment into it. Because of the mimosa discrimination:</p><blockquote>The lawsuit further argues that the Equal Protection Clause of the Fourteenth Amendment is being violated because the governor's public health and executive orders "provide no rational or standard to explain which entities are able to receive the coveted designation of "critical" as opposed to the remaining businesses entities that are considered "non-critical."<br><br>"The practical consequence, as is the case with the Plaintiffs, is that the government's arbitrary designation between 'critical' and 'non-critical' entities means the government is picking and choosing who has the opportunity to continue to remain open and potentially operate at a profit and those who will be doomed to bankruptcy and economic ruin."</blockquote><p>IT'S NOT ARBITRARY. MIMOSAS ARE NOT CRITICAL. There is no situation in which public officials are going to go "OK, we've got a pandemic happening. People have gotta stay home as much as possble, but we obviously need to let them go out to do certain things, so they don't die. So we'll keep hospitals and grocery stores open and let <em>other</em> businesses do pick-up and delivery, which is more safe than shopping in-store or eating in.</p><p>OH. Except for brunch places. Brunch is definitely just as critical as medical treatment and groceries." </p><p><em>That would not make any sense.</em></p><p>It is likely that once this all blows over, the Arellanos will get their license back and also new careers as commentators on Fox News. However, if <em>I</em> lived in that area, I would still avoid their restaurant like the plague because any food-serving place that is that cavalier about public health codes is probably also the C&C Salmonella Factory.</p><p>[<a href="https://www.thedenverchannel.com/news/coronavirus/owners-of-castle-rock-diner-sue-health-departments-gov-polis-over-decision-to-shut-down-restaurant" target="_blank">The Denver Channel</a>]</p><p><strong>Wonkette is independent and fully funded by readers like you. Click below to tip us! 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Post-Racial America
Central Park Racist Lady Very Sorry For Being Such Central Park Racist Lady. We Bet.
Golly, video just changes everything, doesn't it?
May 26, 2020 11:02 AM
Well, internet subscribers, another video has gone viral.
In this one, a white woman in Central Park named Amy Cooper is walking her dog off-leash in the Ramble, which is very popular with the set of humans known as "bird-watchers." A black man named Christian Cooper is there to engage in said activity of "bird-watching," notes that Ms. Cooper has her dog off-leash, and politely asks her to fix that.
RACISM ENSUES.
<p>Mr. Cooper <a href="https://www.nbcnewyork.com/news/local/central-park-confrontation-goes-viral-white-woman-calls-cop-on-black-birder/2431773/" target="_blank">decided to video</a> Ms. Cooper — clearly no relation — because it just seemed like a good idea. And he was right, because she first threatened and then made good on the threat to call the police and lie and say a big scary black man was threatening <em>her life</em>, when he was being nothing but nice. He was about to <a href="https://www.newsweek.com/white-woman-who-called-cops-black-man-placed-leave-work-issues-apology-1506408" target="_blank">offer her dog a treat,</a> which he apparently does in order to encourage recalcitrant and irresponsible dog owners to put their dogs on fucking leashes:</p><blockquote>"The only way they can keep the dog from eating the treat is to put it on a leash," he said. "At some point, she decided I'm gonna play the race card, I guess."</blockquote><p>When she got got up in <em>his</em> face, he asked her to move away, and that's when she REALLY freaked out. </p><p>Here's the thing. As a longtime dog owner, we are VIGILANT when it comes to people we don't know trying to throw edibles of any kind in the direction of our dog. That is the one part of this video where we get why Ms. Cooper might have freaked out. What we don't get is LITERALLY EVERY PART OF HER RACIST FUCKED UP RESPONSE THAT CAME DIRECTLY AFTERWARD. That's where this goes from a generally unfriendly interaction between two strangers with different concepts of who leash laws are intended for, and turns into something entirely disgusting and gross.</p><p>Did we mention she told the police very clearly that it was an "African-American man" who was "threatening her life"? He, who was standing far away from her while she called the cops with her white lady privilege and lied to them about the man who was trying to make her follow the rules?</p><p>Did we also mention that if you turn the sound off and, undistracted by the sound of abject racism and a false police report, just watch her manhandling the dog, that part is kind of rough too? It's not like she was walking a Rottweiler or something, it was a little Cocker, and while Cockers <em>are</em> little shits — it's just science, COCKER-LOVERS — they don't require being hanged by the neck. Fifty-three seconds into the video the dog yelps. Dogs don't yelp for no reason.</p><p>Mr. Cooper's sister posted the video on Twitter:</p><p class="shortcode-media shortcode-media-twitter_embed">
<iframe width="100%" height="150" scrolling="no" class="rm-shortcode twitter-embed-1264965252866641920" id="twitter-embed-1264965252866641920" type="lazy-iframe" data-runner-src="/res/community/twitter_embed/?iframe_id=twitter-embed-1264965252866641920&created_ts=1590426192.0&screen_name=melodyMcooper&text=Oh%2C+when+Karens+take+a+walk+with+their+dogs+off+leash+in+the+famous+Bramble+in+NY%E2%80%99s+Central+Park%2C+where+it+is+clear%E2%80%A6+https%3A%2F%2Ft.co%2FzFb3O0cClz&id=1264965252866641920&name=Melody+Cooper" frameborder="0" data-rm-shortcode-id="24da74db6699f45c9e64fa2cd61dca82"></iframe>
</p><p>Why did Ms. Cooper immediately go for telling the police a BIG SCARY BLACK MAN was "threatening her life"? Simple: She thought she could, and that they would take her side, over the BIG SCARY BLACK MAN. Clearly she didn't have to think it through before deciding it would work. It was almost like it was <em>ingrained knowledge</em> or something.</p><p><span></span>Class, that is one of the simplest show-and-tell examples of white privilege we've seen in a <em>good long while</em>.</p><p>A public defender who happens to be <a href="https://elizaorlins.com/" target="_blank">running for Manhattan DA</a> weighed in on Twitter, explaining how things like this so often go down in American courts of law (click for thread):</p><p class="shortcode-media shortcode-media-twitter_embed">
<iframe width="100%" height="150" scrolling="no" class="rm-shortcode twitter-embed-1265061006897799173" id="twitter-embed-1265061006897799173" type="lazy-iframe" data-runner-src="/res/community/twitter_embed/?iframe_id=twitter-embed-1265061006897799173&created_ts=1590449022.0&screen_name=elizaorlins&text=This+is+serious.+Happened+today+in+Manhattan.+As+a+public+defender+for+over+a+decade%2C+I+have+tried+cases+where+the%E2%80%A6+https%3A%2F%2Ft.co%2FFajr7FlIt2&id=1265061006897799173&name=Eliza+Orlins" frameborder="0" data-rm-shortcode-id="fc20b60418af5cd93b47378d152bacde"></iframe>
</p><p>Guess it's different when there's <em><a href="https://www.wonkette.com/ahmaud-arberys-murder-pisses-us-off" target="_blank">really thorough video.</a></em><a href="https://www.wonkette.com/ahmaud-arberys-murder-pisses-us-off"></a></p><p>Well, internet subscribers, there have been consequences, and for once they weren't for the unarmed black man (who is by the way a <a href="https://twitter.com/AttorneyCrump/status/1265135622479544321" target="_blank">former Marvel Comics editor</a> who went to Harvard, he seems cool). Amy Cooper <a href="https://talkingpointsmemo.com/news/white-woman-who-called-police-on-black-man-in-viral-video-says-her-entire-life-is-being-destroyed" target="_blank">told CNN</a> her "entire life is being destroyed." Somebody on Twitter joked that we could get a real coronavirus contact tracing program going in America if we just told Twitter all those coronavirus patients did something <em>really racist</em>. We laughed, because it's true.</p><p>Ms. Cooper works for Franklin Templeton, as Twitter soon figured out, and the company has now placed her on administrative leave pending an investigation:</p><p class="shortcode-media shortcode-media-twitter_embed">
<iframe width="100%" height="150" scrolling="no" class="rm-shortcode twitter-embed-1265111264335986689" id="twitter-embed-1265111264335986689" type="lazy-iframe" data-runner-src="/res/community/twitter_embed/?iframe_id=twitter-embed-1265111264335986689&created_ts=1590461004.0&screen_name=FTI_US&text=In+response+to+an+incident+involving+an+employee+on+May+25th%2C+Franklin+Templeton+issued+the+following+statement.+https%3A%2F%2Ft.co%2F8f2lMwK0r5&id=1265111264335986689&name=Franklin+Templeton" frameborder="0" data-rm-shortcode-id="5ace1c586573808ec17e843dd6180995"></iframe>
</p><p>We'll see what happens with that one.</p><p>Also, the Cocker rescue where Ms. Cooper acquired the innocent animal she caused to yelp, while she was on the phone lying about a black man, has taken that dog back:<br></p><p class="shortcode-media shortcode-media-rebelmouse-image">
<img type="lazy-image" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yMzMxNjY5MC9vcmlnaW4uanBnIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTYwMjA4NTI0NH0.4tVK4Y6CTFZk6utBQ9vBaN-fsqxYOhNsCeyiDdeirlI/img.jpg?width=980" id="e8e97" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="b565ab43bc4197d2c786c00bf1db869c" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image">
</p><p>Amy Cooper says she is very sorry. We don't doubt that. </p><p>Whether or not she actually understands what she's supposed to be sorry for, well that's between her and God, we guess.</p><p>[<a href="https://www.nbcnewyork.com/news/local/central-park-confrontation-goes-viral-white-woman-calls-cop-on-black-birder/2431773/" target="_blank">NBC New York</a>]</p><p><strong>Follow Evan Hurst on Twitter <a href="http://twitter.com/evanhurst" target="_blank">RIGHT HERE, DO IT RIGHT HERE!</a></strong></p><p><strong>Wonkette is fully funded by readers like YOU. If you love Wonkette, SUPPORT WONKETTE FINANCIALLY.</strong><br></p><p></p><p><a href="https://amzn.to/33mKzZe" target="_blank">Do your Amazon shopping through this link, because reasons</a>.</p><p></p><p></p><form name="donation" method="post" class="donation-form"><p class="subheadline">How often would you like to donate?</p><div class="form-row row--plan"><label class="plan-type__label"><input type="radio" name="plan_type" value="once" class="plan-type" required="" checked> Just once
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</label></div><div class="form-row row--amount"><p class="subheadline">Select an amount (USD)</p><label class="amount__label"><input type="radio" name="amount" class="amount" value="200" data-value="2.00" data-amount="Two Dollars">$2</label><label class="amount__label"><input type="radio" name="amount" class="amount" value="2500" data-value="25.00" data-amount="Twenty Five Dollars">$25</label><label class="amount__label"><input type="radio" name="amount" class="amount" value="500" data-value="5.00" data-amount="Five Dollars">$5</label><label class="amount__label"><input type="radio" name="amount" class="amount" value="5000" data-value="50.00" data-amount="Fifty Dollars">$50</label><label class="amount__label"><input type="radio" name="amount" class="amount" value="1000" data-value="10.00" data-amount="Ten Dollars" checked>$10</label><label class="amount__label"><input type="radio" name="amount" class="amount" value="10000" data-value="100.00" data-amount="One Hundred Dollars">$100</label><label class="amount__label"><input type="radio" name="amount" class="amount" value="1500" data-value="15.00" data-amount="Fifteen Dollars">$15</label><label class="amount__label"><input type="radio" name="amount" class="amount" value="50000" data-value="500.00" data-amount="Five Hundred Dollars">$500</label><label class="amount__label"><input type="radio" name="amount" class="amount" value="2000" data-value="20.00" data-amount="Twenty Dollars">$20</label><label class="amount__label"><input type="radio" name="amount" class="amount" value="100000" data-value="1000.00" data-amount="One Thousand Dollars">$1000</label></div><div class="row--buttons"><button type="submit" class="donate-button" data-payment="strip"><img src="https://assets.rbl.ms/18208879/2000x.png" alt="Credit cards" class="donate-button__img"></button><button type="submit" class="donate-button" data-payment="paypal"><img src="https://assets.rbl.ms/18208880/2000x.png" alt="PayPal" class="donate-button__img"></button></div></form><p></p>
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Class War
Looks Like Wonkette's Your New Unemployment Office
Yes, since the states can't seem to do their job, we're restarting the Gofundme.
May 21, 2020 04:43 PM
Just shy of two months ago, we started a Gofundme for our readers who were in even direr straits than usual. You all responded like HEROES, with $59,282 of your OWN MONEY, to help your fellow Wonkers with rent or mortgage, food, health insurance, bills, and, almost always, a treat. After Gofundme took its small chunk, we sent $57,425 to ninety-four Wonkers and their families, and a few people who obviously weren't readers, so what, who cares, live pray love or live love eat or one of those I'm sure.
It felt marvelous every day to open up my Paypal and be Grandmother Beneficent with your money and a touch of ours. It felt grand. But it was also one to two (sometimes more) hours a day, and it did wear me out! As we stopped pimping it, we got fewer requests. Yay, people are getting their unemployment! Civilized society in the form of a governmental safety net has taken over our virtual soup kitchen, and I can cross that off my to-do list and get back to writing, editing, assigning, payroll, HR, accounting, and my belated thank you notes!
Except, of course, it hasn't. Who ever could have foreseen it?
<p>How is it that it's just shy of two months later, and people still haven't gotten their unemployment checks? Oh, right, <a href="https://www.wonkette.com/jobless-floridians-will-starve-because-rick-scott-spent-77-million-on-a-crappy-unemployment-website" target="_blank">Rick Scott wanted to fuck the jobless.</a> How is it that the Paycheck Protection Program turned out SO badly for everyone but Trump donors and me? Oh right, <a href="https://www.wonkette.com/mnuchin-so-mad-big-companies-bogarted-small-business-stimmy-funds-as-designed" target="_blank">Steven Mnuchin is a useless douche.</a> How is it that red states — including, despite its Democratic governor, Montana, where I live and where Commie Girl Industries is incorporated, <a href="https://www.wonkette.com/no-wonkettes-not-giving-larry-klayman-75-000-larry" target="_blank">LARRY KLAYMAN</a> — are encouraging businesses to fink on any employee who doesn't want to go back to serving coronavirus stew oftentimes <em><a href="https://www.wfla.com/community/health/coronavirus/florida-unemployment/florida-unemployment-seekers-wait-weeks-for-partial-payments-as-state-praises-improving-system/" target="_blank">before they've even been able to file?</a> </em>I appreciate <a href="https://www.marketplace.org/2020/05/14/should-employers-report-employees-who-dont-go-back-to-work/" target="_blank">you letting me know about your nifty new website for ratting on my workers, Montana Department of Labor,</a> but my husband and I are our only employees in the state, and we have neither laid us off nor refused to return to work. Yet.<br></p>
<p class="shortcode-media shortcode-media-twitter_embed">
<iframe width="100%" height="150" scrolling="no" class="rm-shortcode twitter-embed-1263466892917866498" id="twitter-embed-1263466892917866498" type="lazy-iframe" data-runner-src="/res/community/twitter_embed/?iframe_id=twitter-embed-1263466892917866498&created_ts=1590068956.0&screen_name=jimsciutto&text=The+2.4+million+new+jobless+claims+today%2C+while+down+from+previous+weeks%2C+are+still+%2Afour%2A+times+the+worst+week+of%E2%80%A6+https%3A%2F%2Ft.co%2FcKoXOcWdFr&id=1263466892917866498&name=Jim+Sciutto" frameborder="0" data-rm-shortcode-id="d941cdcdfecfc0a05896559b97fe3b0a"></iframe>
</p>
<p>And now, even though we haven't been pimping it, the requests for help have started ticking back up. And every time I get one, my heart drops. There is nothing in the kitty (it's a few hundred bucks upside down at the moment, which we happily covered) to send rent or mortgage, food, health insurance, bills, and a treat.<br></p><p>You said to let me know when we're reopening it, so: I'm letting you know that the state and federal governments are <em>not doing their job of meting out the benefits that our friends and fellow citizens paid into,</em> and it's left to fucking <em>us</em>. If you've got a little extra — maybe you don't need the stimmy check you've gotten, <em>if</em> <em>you've even gotten that</em> — consider sending it to the man to distribute to our lovelings. (Me, I'm the man. Your friends are our lovelings.) </p><p><a href="http://gf.me/u/xskpxc" target="_blank">This is the link to contribute to our Wonkette Reader Aid Slush Fund Gofundme.</a> </p><p>Vote early and often. </p><p><span></span>And if you're in need of help, please email me at rebecca at wonkette dot com, and I can't stress this enough, TELL ME HOW MUCH WOULD HELP and ALSO WHAT YOUR PAYPAL OR VENMO ADDRESS IS. If you have neither, let me know upfront, and we can make an alternative arrangement, but if you do have one, tell me it! I know it feels awful to ask for help and you don't want to. Also I know if you are like me, stress is making your brain stupid. But that small step eliminates a small step of work on my end, and LET'S MAKE IT EASY FOR ME TO HELP YOU WITHOUT HAVING TO HUNT DOWN THE INFORMATION TO HELP YOU WITH! HOORAY! I think the MBA guys probably call this "frictionless" which just reminds me of Erica Jong's zipless fuck even though I'd <em>hope</em> they are opposites! </p><p>And if you've got your credit card open already, this is also your monthly money beg. We're about $10,000 down from where we need to be for the month<em>. </em>But we also got two and a half months of payroll with the PPP so I'm neither trying to freak you out nor guilt you, and we're definitely not dying, at least not for two and a half months. Clicking the widget below pays for Wonkette's operating expenses, and does NOT go to your fellow readers at the Gofundme. That link is above. Anyway, just if you're feeling it, GOODBYE.<br></p><p>Unless you want to stick around for this, because now it's OPEN THREAD. </p><p></p><form name="donation" method="post" class="donation-form"><p class="subheadline">How often would you like to donate?</p><div class="form-row row--plan"><label class="plan-type__label"><input type="radio" name="plan_type" value="once" class="plan-type" required="" checked> Just once
</label><label class="plan-type__label"><input type="radio" name="plan_type" value="monthly" class="plan-type" required=""> Monthly
</label></div><div class="form-row row--amount"><p class="subheadline">Select an amount (USD)</p><label class="amount__label"><input type="radio" name="amount" class="amount" value="200" data-value="2.00" data-amount="Two Dollars">$2</label><label class="amount__label"><input type="radio" name="amount" class="amount" value="2500" data-value="25.00" data-amount="Twenty Five Dollars">$25</label><label class="amount__label"><input type="radio" name="amount" class="amount" value="500" data-value="5.00" data-amount="Five Dollars">$5</label><label class="amount__label"><input type="radio" name="amount" class="amount" value="5000" data-value="50.00" data-amount="Fifty Dollars">$50</label><label class="amount__label"><input type="radio" name="amount" class="amount" value="1000" data-value="10.00" data-amount="Ten Dollars" checked>$10</label><label class="amount__label"><input type="radio" name="amount" class="amount" value="10000" data-value="100.00" data-amount="One Hundred Dollars">$100</label><label class="amount__label"><input type="radio" name="amount" class="amount" value="1500" data-value="15.00" data-amount="Fifteen Dollars">$15</label><label class="amount__label"><input type="radio" name="amount" class="amount" value="50000" data-value="500.00" data-amount="Five Hundred Dollars">$500</label><label class="amount__label"><input type="radio" name="amount" class="amount" value="2000" data-value="20.00" data-amount="Twenty Dollars">$20</label><label class="amount__label"><input type="radio" name="amount" class="amount" value="100000" data-value="1000.00" data-amount="One Thousand Dollars">$1000</label></div><div class="row--buttons"><button type="submit" class="donate-button" data-payment="strip"><img src="https://assets.rbl.ms/18208879/2000x.png" alt="Credit cards" class="donate-button__img"></button><button type="submit" class="donate-button" data-payment="paypal"><img src="https://assets.rbl.ms/18208880/2000x.png" alt="PayPal" class="donate-button__img"></button></div></form><p></p>
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