DC Comics HEREBY ORDERS Batman Be Crappy At Sex

Yes, we’re going to talk about this.

Everyone's all up in Bruce Wayne's bat business after the co-creator of HBO Max's "Harley Quinn" series claimed that DC Comics has very specific opinions about Batman's sex life.

"Harley Quinn" is an adult animated series starring Kaley Cuoco (who's AMAZING). It's an adult comedy with graphic violence and sexual shenanigans. It's TV-MA with the full nasty. DC is usually pretty supportive, according to creator Justin Halpern, but the company drew a hard line when it came to a scene between Batman and Catwoman, both of whom are fictional characters.

"It's incredibly gratifying and free to be using characters that are considered villains because you just have so much more leeway," said Halpern. "A perfect example of that is in this third season of Harley [when] we had a moment where Batman was going down on Catwoman. And DC was like, 'You can't do that. You absolutely cannot do that.' They're like, 'Heroes don't do that.' So, we said, 'Are you saying heroes are just selfish lovers?' They were like, 'No, it's that we sell consumer toys for heroes. It's hard to sell a toy if Batman is also going down on someone.'"

Say what? Heroes don't go downtown? It's all missionary with one swashbuckler boot firmly on the floor? Full disclosure, the Catwoman in "Harley Quinn" is an Eartha Kitt-looking sister, voiced by the stunning Sanaa Lathan. This is not a Catwoman who tolerates vanilla. The integrity of the series demands that Batman get busy on Catwoman's furry places.

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Loser Trump Can't Get Book Deal, Can't Blog, Not Allowed To Tweet, Is Basically Worthless

Starting to wonder if he's even bathed recently.

Gonna need y'all to suspend your disbelief for a minute, and refrain from saying this post is pointless because Donald Trump is not physically capable of writing a "book." We know everything he's ever "written" was ghostwritten by another human. Hell, the person who wrote Art Of The Deal fuckin' HAAAATES Donald Trump.

At one point Trump tried to get his niece Mary Trump, who also hates him, to ghostwrite a book for him. Trouble was, she couldn't figure out what the hell it was that he did all day, so we guess the "Donald Trump At Work" chapters presented some challenges. One day he told her he had some TREMENDOUS content to share that she could put in the book, and it was some kind of rambling recorded monologue he made about women he wanted to have sex with, but who rebuffed his advances, replete with commentary about the thickness of Katarina Witt's calves. (As Wonkette asked at the time, "How dare she have strong legs! What is she, the greatest figure skater of all time or something?")

So no, Donald Trump will not be writing a book anytime soon, or ever.

But apparently he won't be having one ghostwritten for him either, because Politico reports that it is a true fact that no actual publishing house is willing to give him a book deal. That's right, the immediate former president of the United States has been deemed by Big Book to be unqualified for a book deal of any kind.

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justice department

Trump DOJ Meatballs ... Actually Refused To Do Coups!

Minimal credit where it is due!

Oversight is back, baby! And as long as they control the House, Democrats are going to conduct it, with or without Republicans.

Toward that end, House Oversight Chair Carolyn Maloney sent Attorney General Merrick Garland a letter on May 21 demanding information about the Trump White House pressuring the Justice Department to interfere in the 2020 election. And lo! Instead of a big middle finger with a snarky letter saying everything that happens in the executive branch is privileged, they actually coughed it up! And while most of this stuff already appeared in prior news reporting, it's pretty shocking to see evidence in black and white of Trump trying to weaponize the DOJ to keep himself in office.

The president of the United States of America literally tried to get every vote from Michigan, Georgia, Pennsylvania, Wisconsin, Arizona, and Nevada tossed out — about one in five votes cast nationwide. Not to put too fine a point on it, but that is some crazy banana republic shit! To their minimal credit, however, the vast majority of Trump's DOJ lawyers held the line and refused to play along. Good job, fellas!

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Nice Time: Judge Ketanji Brown Jackson Confirmed To DC Circuit Court!

Meet your next future Supreme Court justice!

The Senate confirmed Judge Ketanji Brown Jackson Monday to replace Attorney General Merrick Garland on the US Court of Appeals for the DC Circuit. Jackson, 50, is considered a top contender to become the first Black woman on the Supreme Court when the time comes.

Jackson was unanimously confirmed in 2013 to serve on the District Court, but Republicans have only gotten worse since then. This time, only Lisa Murkowski, Susan Collins, and Lindsey Graham joined Democrats in approving her nomination, 53 to 44 (hey, she even got Joe Manchin). Graham's fellow South Carolina Senator, Tim Scott, didn't vote for her because that's apparently how he demonstrates that racism doesn't exist.

Republicans might've had their hackles up because Jackson has repeatedly ruled against the Trump administration. In 2019, she ordered former White House Counsel Don McGahn to comply with a House subpoena and testify before Congress. She dismantled the former White House squatter's “absolute immunity" defense, declaring it “baseless" and a "a fiction that has been fastidiously maintained over time through the force of sheer repetition" but "simply has no basis in the law." The sister can throw down.

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