2020 presidential election

Trump Advisor Compares Joe Biden To Well-Known Villain ... Mister Rogers​

'You Can Never Go Down The Drain,' indeed.

Sometimes people get mad
And they feel like being bad.
But the very same people who are mad sometimes
Are the very same people who are glad sometimes.
It's funny, but it's true.
It's the same, isn't it for me, isn't it the same for you?

Last night, during the debate, Trump advisor Mercedes Schlapp decided to totally own Joe Biden by comparing his town hall to an episode of Mister Rogers' Neighborhood, perhaps the most universally beloved show in American history.

Keep reading... Show less
Conspiracy Theories

Quaint Sexting Scandal Turns To Flaming Wreckage As QAnon News Anchor Self-Destructs

Anchor down in Anchorage.

Ethan Berkowitz, the Anchorage mayor who is the highest ranking Democratic official in the state of Alaska, stepped down this week after it was revealed that "several years ago" he had an "inappropriate texting relationship" with local reporter Maria Athens.

In simpler times, this would all be a fairly standard political scandal. A rather quaint one, really, given that as far as we know, nothing actually happened in person. We might even ask ourselves questions like "Why is this even a thing? Should he really resign over something like that? Are we really still pretending we care if politicians cheat on their spouses? And, really, do the Republicans have room to criticize an Alaska mayor for not stepping down over that kind of thing when they elected Donald Trump? Don't they kind of have to shut their mouths about that kind of thing forever?" before forgetting about it and both of them forever.

But it's 2020 and things are rarely that simple anymore.

Keep reading... Show less
Class War

Weep, Weep (Don't Weep) For The Poor (Not Poor) White Supremacists (Definitely White Supremacists)!

In which Walker Bragman's rural poverty domestic terrorism chic is buried as it deserves.

Last week, America was blessed with a tantalizing glimpse of the future. Black Twitter, farm Twitter, real estate Twitter, blue-check policy wonks, and trailer park Twitter came together as one. What for? To deep-fry Walker Bragman, whom I had never heard of before last week, for his ignorant assertion that white supremacist terrorism is caused by "economic circumstances."

Unfortunately for poverty tastemakers like Bragman, who once complained that Uber brings gross icky poors who sleep in their cars into his nice clean Hamptons, rural Americans use Twitter. They were quick to point out that building private armies to overthrow the government is a rich and middle-class man's game. Accordingly, this isn't the broken-down shack that Walker, East End Ranger thinks it is. It's messy because it was just raided by the FBI. The home is new, in good repair (as seen on its Zillow page), and owned, not rented. It's got a private dumpster. Those are costly: a de facto class marker in rural areas without trash service. Nearby residents complained Joseph Morrison brought large groups to use the whole neighborhood as their personal shooting range. In other words, the first people these men terrorized were their own neighbors — the very rural residents Bragman claims to speak for.

Keep reading... Show less
Media/Entertainment

MSNBC Hosts Agree: F*ck NBC News And Its Dumb Trump Town Hall

Good on them.

A lot of our favorite TV hosts work for NBC News. We cannot say the same about a lot of our favorite TV executives.

There was supposed to be a presidential debate tonight, the second one, the town hall one. After Donald Trump inhaled a bunch of COVID off a Big Mac-flavored doorknob and got the entire White House sick — or at least that's our theory of how it happened — the debate was moved to a virtual format. Trump threw a temper tantrum and noped out. So Joe Biden said fine, and ABC News announced it would have a town hall with Biden the same night. At least one candidate was going to show up for what he had agreed to do.

But then Wednesday, out of the blue, and apparently after Trump allegedly tested negative for the Covids, NBC News announced that it would ALSO TOO be doing a town hall tonight, with Trump, at the exact same time as the Biden town hall. Because apparently NBC News execs have been feeding at the same "both sides" trough of bullshit where Chuck Todd gets his sustenance.

Immediately, everybody was pissed. Because for real? Trump is the whiny-ass authoritarian telegraphing on a daily basis that he's trying to steal this election, who refused to abide by the rules of the last debate. You're going to give him the reward of a competing time slot with Biden because he was the one who blew everything up? Gonna let him crow about his ratings? Fuck you.

Also, you're going to make voters choose which one they want to watch? By doing them at the same time? You couldn't put it an hour before or after? Fuck you again.

Keep reading... Show less
Donate

How often would you like to donate?

Select an amount (USD)

Newsletter

©2018 by Commie Girl Industries, Inc