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Federal Judge Overturns North Dakota's 6-Week Abortion Ban; Armed Militias Surround Fetuses

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Here's somepretty good news on the old reproductive rights front:


A federal judge on Wednesday overturned a North Dakota law banning abortions when a fetal heartbeat can be detected, as early as six weeks into pregnancy and before many women know they're pregnant.

U.S. District Judge Daniel Hovland, who is based in Bismarck, said the law is "invalid and unconstitutional" and that it "cannot withstand a constitutional challenge."

You know what this means, ladies: Free champagne at the Abortionplex and all the promiscuous sex your Obamacare-mandated slut pills can handle! (Offer good only in Fargo, North Dakota)

So the good news is that North Dakota ladies can continue to wait until they actually know they're pregnant before having an abortion, which will be a lot more convenient, we bet. The less than fantastic news is that the state has just one clinic that performs the procedure -- in Fargo -- and a whole bunch of other restrictions are already in place, like a 24-hour waiting period, mandatory "don't kill your babby" counseling, and a ban on abortions past 20 weeks except when the woman's life or health is endangered. Also, too, the state legislature allocated $400,000 to defend restrictive abortion laws passed last year, so it's entirely likely that Attorney General Wayne Stenehjem may want to spend some of that on appealing today's decision.

Because North Dakota needs more young people who will grow up to get the fuck out of the godforsaken frozen wasteland that is North Dakota as fast as possible.

[StarTribune / Guttmacher Institute]

Doktor Zoom

Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.

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BREAKING ACHTUNG EVERYBODY CRY AND PANIC AND HAVE ROLLICKING SEXUAL INTERCOURSE, BECAUSE ROBERT MUELLER DID THE THING.

We don't know what the thing means yet, but we know that he gave the thing to Attorney General Bill Barr, who is presumably looking at the thing right now. Donald Trump is at Mar-a-Lago, so he does not have the thing, because NO THING FOR ILLEGITIMATE PRESIDENTS. Studies show that according to sources close to the investigation who may or may not be close to the investigation, we might have some real information on what is inside the thing sometime this weekend.

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OK ... huh?

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