<?xml version="1.0" encoding="UTF-8"?><rss xmlns:dc="http://purl.org/dc/elements/1.1/" xmlns:content="http://purl.org/rss/1.0/modules/content/" xmlns:atom="http://www.w3.org/2005/Atom" version="2.0" xmlns:itunes="http://www.itunes.com/dtds/podcast-1.0.dtd" xmlns:googleplay="http://www.google.com/schemas/play-podcasts/1.0"><channel><title><![CDATA[Wonkette: Wonkette Tabs]]></title><description><![CDATA[Start your day right, with the things you need to know, plus some bullshit. ]]></description><link>https://www.wonkette.com/s/wonkette-tabs</link><image><url>https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!z3t-!,w_256,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Feb30ecf7-8f3a-4d97-84b4-e702f1fa0202_256x256.png</url><title>Wonkette: Wonkette Tabs</title><link>https://www.wonkette.com/s/wonkette-tabs</link></image><generator>Substack</generator><lastBuildDate>Fri, 30 Oct 2026 19:41:46 GMT</lastBuildDate><atom:link href="https://www.wonkette.com/feed" rel="self" type="application/rss+xml"/><copyright><![CDATA[Commie Girl Industries Inc.]]></copyright><language><![CDATA[en]]></language><webMaster><![CDATA[wonkette@substack.com]]></webMaster><itunes:owner><itunes:email><![CDATA[wonkette@substack.com]]></itunes:email><itunes:name><![CDATA[Rebecca Schoenkopf]]></itunes:name></itunes:owner><itunes:author><![CDATA[Rebecca Schoenkopf]]></itunes:author><googleplay:owner><![CDATA[wonkette@substack.com]]></googleplay:owner><googleplay:email><![CDATA[wonkette@substack.com]]></googleplay:email><googleplay:author><![CDATA[Rebecca Schoenkopf]]></googleplay:author><itunes:block><![CDATA[Yes]]></itunes:block><item><title><![CDATA[The Cult. Tabs, Fri., Oct. 30, 2026 ]]></title><description><![CDATA[Morning news roundup!]]></description><link>https://www.wonkette.com/p/the-cult-tabs-fri-oct-30-2026</link><guid isPermaLink="false">https://www.wonkette.com/p/the-cult-tabs-fri-oct-30-2026</guid><dc:creator><![CDATA[Rebecca Schoenkopf]]></dc:creator><pubDate>Fri, 30 Oct 2026 11:03:07 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/0cc5ec31-4479-4852-a1fc-06a5059a043e_233x300.gif" length="0" type="image/jpeg"/><content:encoded><![CDATA[<div class="captioned-image-container"><figure><a class="image-link image2 is-viewable-img" target="_blank" href="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!IN_c!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F2772652a-ee7f-4f8a-90e8-2402634a4283_233x300.gif" data-component-name="Image2ToDOM"><div class="image2-inset"><picture><source type="image/webp" srcset="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!IN_c!,w_424,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_lossy/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F2772652a-ee7f-4f8a-90e8-2402634a4283_233x300.gif 424w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!IN_c!,w_848,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_lossy/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F2772652a-ee7f-4f8a-90e8-2402634a4283_233x300.gif 848w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!IN_c!,w_1272,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_lossy/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F2772652a-ee7f-4f8a-90e8-2402634a4283_233x300.gif 1272w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!IN_c!,w_1456,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_lossy/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F2772652a-ee7f-4f8a-90e8-2402634a4283_233x300.gif 1456w" sizes="100vw"><img 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srcset="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!IN_c!,w_424,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_lossy/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F2772652a-ee7f-4f8a-90e8-2402634a4283_233x300.gif 424w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!IN_c!,w_848,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_lossy/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F2772652a-ee7f-4f8a-90e8-2402634a4283_233x300.gif 848w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!IN_c!,w_1272,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_lossy/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F2772652a-ee7f-4f8a-90e8-2402634a4283_233x300.gif 1272w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!IN_c!,w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_lossy/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F2772652a-ee7f-4f8a-90e8-2402634a4283_233x300.gif 1456w" sizes="100vw" fetchpriority="high"></picture><div class="image-link-expand"><div class="pencraft pc-display-flex pc-gap-8 pc-reset"><button tabindex="0" type="button" class="pencraft pc-reset pencraft icon-container restack-image buttonBase-GK1x3M"><svg aria-hidden="true" width="20" height="20" viewBox="0 0 20 20" fill="none" stroke-width="1.5" stroke="var(--color-fg-primary)" stroke-linecap="round" stroke-linejoin="round" xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" class="icon-noB79L"><g><path d="M2.53001 7.81595C3.49179 4.73911 6.43281 2.5 9.91173 2.5C13.1684 2.5 15.9537 4.46214 17.0852 7.23684L17.6179 8.67647M17.6179 8.67647L18.5002 4.26471M17.6179 8.67647L13.6473 6.91176M17.4995 12.1841C16.5378 15.2609 13.5967 17.5 10.1178 17.5C6.86118 17.5 4.07589 15.5379 2.94432 12.7632L2.41165 11.3235M2.41165 11.3235L1.5293 15.7353M2.41165 11.3235L6.38224 13.0882"></path></g></svg></button><button tabindex="0" type="button" class="pencraft pc-reset pencraft icon-container view-image buttonBase-GK1x3M"><svg xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" width="20" height="20" viewBox="0 0 24 24" fill="none" stroke="currentColor" stroke-width="2" stroke-linecap="round" stroke-linejoin="round" class="lucide lucide-maximize2 lucide-maximize-2 icon-noB79L"><polyline points="15 3 21 3 21 9"></polyline><polyline points="9 21 3 21 3 15"></polyline><line x1="21" x2="14" y1="3" y2="10"></line><line x1="3" x2="10" y1="21" y2="14"></line></svg></button></div></div></div></a><figcaption class="image-caption">Tabs gif by your friend Martini Glambassador! </figcaption></figure></div><p></p><div class="callout-block" data-callout="true"><p><strong><mark data-color="rgb(207, 226, 243)" style="background-color: rgb(207, 226, 243); color: rgb(0, 0, 0);"><span data-color="#9900ff" style="color: rgb(153, 0, 255);">Good morning, terrible ones! It&#8217;s WONKETTE MEMBERSHIP DRIVE SUBSCRIBE WEEK OR MONTH! We are at 83 new (paid) subscribers, SO CLOSE to our goal of 100 new (paid) subscribers and then you get A PRIZE.</span></mark></strong></p><p class="button-wrapper" data-attrs="{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://www.wonkette.com/subscribe?&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Subscribe now&quot;,&quot;action&quot;:null,&quot;class&quot;:null}" data-component-name="ButtonCreateButton"><a class="button primary" href="https://www.wonkette.com/subscribe?"><span>Subscribe now</span></a></p><p><strong><mark data-color="rgb(0, 255, 255)" style="background-color: rgb(0, 255, 255); color: rgb(0, 0, 0);"><span data-color="#0000ff" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 255);">And if you are holding extra money, and ONLY if it is extra, feel free to slide it in our pockets! The button below will take any amount you like, one-time or monthly, at Paypal!</span></mark></strong></p><p class="button-wrapper" data-attrs="{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://www.paypal.com/donate/?hosted_button_id=B2H2C68PXBLK4&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Wonkette $ machine!&quot;,&quot;action&quot;:null,&quot;class&quot;:&quot;button-wrapper&quot;}" data-component-name="ButtonCreateButton"><a class="button primary button-wrapper" href="https://www.paypal.com/donate/?hosted_button_id=B2H2C68PXBLK4"><span>Wonkette $ machine!</span></a></p><p style="text-align: center;"><strong><mark data-color="rgb(182, 215, 168)" style="background-color: rgb(182, 215, 168); color: rgb(0, 0, 0);"><span data-color="#38761d" style="color: rgb(56, 118, 29);">Also! A Venmo!</span></mark></strong></p><p class="button-wrapper" data-attrs="{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://account.venmo.com/u/Wonkette&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Venmo Wonkette all the $$$!&quot;,&quot;action&quot;:null,&quot;class&quot;:&quot;button-wrapper&quot;}" data-component-name="ButtonCreateButton"><a class="button primary button-wrapper" href="https://account.venmo.com/u/Wonkette"><span>Venmo Wonkette all the $$$!</span></a></p><p><strong><span data-color="#ff00ff" style="color: rgb(255, 0, 255);">Please NEVER send us money if you would have to go without! We love you.</span></strong></p></div><p>Time for tabs. We&#8217;ll begin with this 2020 video from Ian McKellen to Patrick Stewart, who died yesterday at 86, reading Sonnet 81 on Stewart&#8217;s birthday.</p><div class="native-video-embed" data-component-name="VideoPlaceholder" data-attrs="{&quot;mediaUploadId&quot;:&quot;157677d0-2513-44d9-8e4a-6297bde5aec3&quot;,&quot;duration&quot;:null}"></div><p>Farewell.</p><p>OH NO, TRUMP IS SAD. <a href="https://www.nytimes.com/2026/10/28/us/politics/trump-midterms-white-house-mood.html?unlocked_article_code=1.MVE.cXSv.46c3YL9E5e3j&amp;smid=url-share">(Gift link New York Times) </a></p><p>Oh hey, now that Warboner Pete Hegseth has fired the guy in charge of the plans for WAR <a href="https://newrepublic.com/post/217322/hegseth-fires-top-general-laura-loomer-target">(The New Republic),</a> that means it&#8217;s boots on the ground after the midterms, right? </p><div class="bluesky-wrap outer" style="height: auto; display: flex; justify-content: center; margin-bottom: 24px;" data-attrs="{&quot;postId&quot;:&quot;3myzsukz5n22p&quot;,&quot;authorDid&quot;:&quot;did:plc:2whlowi5jjjqrdrrj4lxh2lx&quot;,&quot;authorName&quot;:&quot;Eliot Higgins&quot;,&quot;authorHandle&quot;:&quot;eliothiggins.bsky.social&quot;,&quot;authorAvatarUrl&quot;:&quot;https://cdn.bsky.app/img/avatar/plain/did:plc:2whlowi5jjjqrdrrj4lxh2lx/bafkreiarcjakxx7hkgtfocqilj22vxgmyskl43blurk6vwu2nfvd5ihueu&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Chris Murphy posted this on X about Trump's post election war plans for Iran, which sound like war-crimes o'clock. Probably related to the news about oil firms cancelling a planned trip to the UAE\nbsky.app/profile/fint...&quot;,&quot;createdAt&quot;:&quot;2026-10-29T17:42:45.180Z&quot;,&quot;uri&quot;:&quot;at://did:plc:2whlowi5jjjqrdrrj4lxh2lx/app.bsky.feed.post/3myzsukz5n22p&quot;,&quot;imageUrls&quot;:[]}" data-component-name="BlueskyCreateBlueskyEmbed"><iframe id="bluesky-3myzsukz5n22p" data-bluesky-id="002326900915834318" src="https://embed.bsky.app/embed/did:plc:2whlowi5jjjqrdrrj4lxh2lx/app.bsky.feed.post/3myzsukz5n22p?id=002326900915834318" width="100%" style="display: block; flex-grow: 1; max-width: 600px;" frameborder="0" scrolling="no"></iframe></div><p>He&#8217;s always lied about golf, why not lie about a golf course? Then a lady judge got mad and Trump lost his goddamn mind. <a href="https://ballsandstrikes.substack.com/p/the-trump-justice-department-has?r=elvx&amp;utm_campaign=post&amp;utm_medium=email">(Balls and Strikes) </a></p><p>Norway: The world&#8217;s best shithouses! <a href="https://www.theguardian.com/world/2026/oct/29/trump-norway-shithouse-toilets">(The Guardian) </a></p><p>Are solar panels burning up all the animals??? No, you fucking idiot. <a href="https://billmckibben.substack.com/p/the-president-is-equal-parts-moron?r=elvx&amp;utm_campaign=post&amp;utm_medium=email">(Bill McKibben)</a> </p><p>&#8220;The AI killing us all in the next decade&#8221; is one reason to stop saving for retirement! <a href="https://www.businessinsider.com/ai-safety-leader-stops-saving-for-retirement-extinction-fears-2026-10?utm_source=Iterable&amp;utm_medium=email&amp;utm_campaign=News%20Alert%20Bucket%201A%20-%20ai-safety-leader-stops-saving-for-retirement-extinction-fears-2026-10&amp;insiderId=f42cea0c-9da0-4a2a-8913-7f4cdde8c5cc">(Business Insider) </a></p><p>Mike Rogers&#8217;s wife is selling access to government officials? Well how about that. <a href="https://prospect.org/2026/10/29/mike-rogerss-wife-runs-a-consultancy-that-sells-government-access/">(The American Prospect) </a></p><p>I&#8217;m not buying &#8220;tossup in South Carolina,&#8221; but what do I know? I&#8217;m terrible at this! <a href="https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2026/oct/29/south-carolina-senate-tied-race">(The Guardian) </a>Oh wait hmmmm, does South Carolina have any Black voters? IT DOES? Well apparently since Trump&#8217;s Supreme Court ruled that the Voting Rights Act is bullshit, Black voters have been Acting by Voting, Right? <a href="https://www.motherjones.com/politics/2026/10/shomari-figures-alabama-supreme-court-callais-backlash-black-turnout-vra/">(Mother Jones</a> / <a href="https://www.cnn.com/2026/10/28/politics/live-news/midterm-election-congress?post-id=cmvr7pjvs001n3b6tumvk7vxv">CNN)</a></p><p>LOL :) </p><div class="bluesky-wrap outer" style="height: auto; display: flex; justify-content: center; margin-bottom: 24px;" data-attrs="{&quot;postId&quot;:&quot;3myzmeej6rd2u&quot;,&quot;authorDid&quot;:&quot;did:plc:h7qtoo7nxqxarrsijohjhbw4&quot;,&quot;authorName&quot;:&quot;FactPost&quot;,&quot;authorHandle&quot;:&quot;factpostnews.bsky.social&quot;,&quot;authorAvatarUrl&quot;:&quot;https://cdn.bsky.app/img/avatar/plain/did:plc:h7qtoo7nxqxarrsijohjhbw4/bafkreig4uw5byrui5n3a6gjc46hfljmveupkggws7gbgtc6ab2p3b2bjlu&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Fox: Why are you here this morning?\n\nTrump rally attendee: Well, in the late 70s, I was a little too young to go to South America for the Jonestown Massacre. But this is as close as I'll ever get, so that's why I'm here. There's nothing like seeing a cult right up front.&quot;,&quot;createdAt&quot;:&quot;2026-10-29T15:46:19.027Z&quot;,&quot;uri&quot;:&quot;at://did:plc:h7qtoo7nxqxarrsijohjhbw4/app.bsky.feed.post/3myzmeej6rd2u&quot;,&quot;imageUrls&quot;:[&quot;https://video.bsky.app/watch/did%3Aplc%3Ah7qtoo7nxqxarrsijohjhbw4/bafkreigacxgbmlrg6t5nd7y5ernxzvsam55huq4ppdklq7pylsdymtwbia/thumbnail.jpg&quot;]}" data-component-name="BlueskyCreateBlueskyEmbed"><iframe id="bluesky-3myzmeej6rd2u" data-bluesky-id="5459716611996596" src="https://embed.bsky.app/embed/did:plc:h7qtoo7nxqxarrsijohjhbw4/app.bsky.feed.post/3myzmeej6rd2u?id=5459716611996596" width="100%" style="display: block; flex-grow: 1; max-width: 600px;" frameborder="0" scrolling="no"></iframe></div><div id="youtube2-StV9lElcvAY" class="youtube-wrap" data-attrs="{&quot;videoId&quot;:&quot;StV9lElcvAY&quot;,&quot;startTime&quot;:null,&quot;endTime&quot;:null}" data-component-name="Youtube2ToDOM"><div class="youtube-inner"><iframe src="https://www.youtube-nocookie.com/embed/StV9lElcvAY?rel=0&amp;autoplay=0&amp;showinfo=0&amp;enablejsapi=0" frameborder="0" loading="lazy" gesture="media" allow="autoplay; fullscreen" allowautoplay="true" allowfullscreen="true" width="728" height="409"></iframe></div></div><p>We made plans for you this weekend! </p><div class="callout-block" data-callout="true"><p><strong><span data-color="#b45f06" style="color: rgb(180, 95, 6);">Join your friend ZiggyWiggy and the whole gang Saturday at 9 p.m. Eastern for HALLOWEEN MOVIE NIGHT, with </span></strong><em><strong><span data-color="#b45f06" style="color: rgb(180, 95, 6);">The Texas Chainsaw Massacre</span></strong></em><strong><span data-color="#b45f06" style="color: rgb(180, 95, 6);"> (1974) available with subscription on Peacock, AMC+, and Prime; free with ads on Tubi, Pluto TV, Xumo Play, and Plex; $2.99-3.99 in the usual places.</span></strong></p></div><p>And another! </p><div class="callout-block" data-callout="true"><p><strong><span data-color="#38761d" style="color: rgb(56, 118, 29);">THIS SUNDAY! Get out your library cards or visit your preferred local new/used bookseller, because </span><a href="https://www.wonkette.com/p/sun-sun-sun-here-it-comes-some-solar"><span data-color="#38761d" style="color: rgb(56, 118, 29);">Wonkette Book Club is back,</span></a><span data-color="#38761d" style="color: rgb(56, 118, 29);"> baby! At 11 a.m., we&#8217;ll start discussing Bill McKibben&#8217;s 2025 bestseller </span></strong><em><strong><a href="https://bookshop.org/a/121934/9781324106234"><span data-color="#e11d48" style="color: rgb(225, 29, 72);">Here Comes the Sun: A Last Chance for the Climate and a Fresh Chance for Civilization </span></a></strong></em><strong><a href="https://bookshop.org/a/121934/9781324106234"><span data-color="#e11d48" style="color: rgb(225, 29, 72);">(Wonkette affiliate link),</span></a></strong><em><strong><span data-color="#38761d" style="color: rgb(56, 118, 29);"> </span></strong></em><strong><span data-color="#38761d" style="color: rgb(56, 118, 29);">all about how solar energy (and wind &#8216;n&#8217; storage) can get us out of our climate fix and remake the world&#8217;s economies with justice for all (but we gotta do it</span></strong><em><strong><span data-color="#38761d" style="color: rgb(56, 118, 29);"> fast</span></strong></em><strong><span data-color="#38761d" style="color: rgb(56, 118, 29);"> and do it </span></strong><em><strong><span data-color="#38761d" style="color: rgb(56, 118, 29);">right</span></strong></em><strong><span data-color="#38761d" style="color: rgb(56, 118, 29);">). </span><a href="https://www.wonkette.com/p/wonkette-book-club-sunshine-superpower"><span data-color="#e11d48" style="color: rgb(225, 29, 72);">More here!</span></a></strong></p></div><div><hr></div><p><strong><span data-color="#0000ff" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 255);">Bookshop.org is the anti-Amazon, a certified B-corp partnering with local bookstores. Here&#8217;s our </span><a href="https://bookshop.org/shop/wonkette"><mark data-color="rgb(0, 255, 255)" style="background-color: rgb(0, 255, 255); color: rgb(0, 0, 0);"><span data-color="#0000ff" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 255);">Bookshop affiliate link,</span></mark></a><span data-color="#0000ff" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 255);"> when you buy books, Wonkette gets </span></strong><em><strong><span data-color="#0000ff" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 255);">10 percent. </span></strong></em><strong><span data-color="#0000ff" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 255);">You can search any old book from that page and it will count. Buy all the books!</span></strong></p><p style="text-align: center;"><strong><span data-color="#9900ff" style="color: rgb(153, 0, 255);">Have you subscribed to Wonkette today?</span></strong></p><p class="button-wrapper" data-attrs="{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://www.wonkette.com/subscribe?&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Subscribe now&quot;,&quot;action&quot;:null,&quot;class&quot;:null}" data-component-name="ButtonCreateButton"><a class="button primary" href="https://www.wonkette.com/subscribe?"><span>Subscribe now</span></a></p><p style="text-align: center;"><strong><span data-color="#ff00ff" style="color: rgb(255, 0, 255);">It would be really helpful if you sent Wonkette to some friends!</span></strong></p><p class="button-wrapper" data-attrs="{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://www.wonkette.com/p/bad-boys-bad-boys-tabs-thurs-april?utm_source=substack&amp;utm_medium=email&amp;utm_content=share&amp;action=share&amp;token=eyJ1c2VyX2lkIjo2ODE1NDksInBvc3RfaWQiOjE5Mjg1NjY0MywiaWF0IjoxNzc1MTQ3NDQxLCJleHAiOjE3Nzc3Mzk0NDEsImlzcyI6InB1Yi0xNzgzMzY3Iiwic3ViIjoicG9zdC1yZWFjdGlvbiJ9.ZPkGYsUp53WXkDyTd9dzxEvUbzBhwg7T5b51FiRC6ks&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Share&quot;,&quot;action&quot;:null,&quot;class&quot;:&quot;button-wrapper&quot;}" data-component-name="ButtonCreateButton"><a class="button primary button-wrapper" href="https://www.wonkette.com/p/bad-boys-bad-boys-tabs-thurs-april?utm_source=substack&amp;utm_medium=email&amp;utm_content=share&amp;action=share&amp;token=eyJ1c2VyX2lkIjo2ODE1NDksInBvc3RfaWQiOjE5Mjg1NjY0MywiaWF0IjoxNzc1MTQ3NDQxLCJleHAiOjE3Nzc3Mzk0NDEsImlzcyI6InB1Yi0xNzgzMzY3Iiwic3ViIjoicG9zdC1yZWFjdGlvbiJ9.ZPkGYsUp53WXkDyTd9dzxEvUbzBhwg7T5b51FiRC6ks"><span>Share</span></a></p>]]></content:encoded></item><item><title><![CDATA[Watching Your Every Move! Tabs, Thurs., Oct. 29, 2026]]></title><description><![CDATA[Morning news roundup!]]></description><link>https://www.wonkette.com/p/watching-your-every-move-tabs-thurs</link><guid isPermaLink="false">https://www.wonkette.com/p/watching-your-every-move-tabs-thurs</guid><dc:creator><![CDATA[Rebecca Schoenkopf]]></dc:creator><pubDate>Thu, 29 Oct 2026 11:02:22 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/0534821d-8f70-463f-8890-bacac9597de3_360x203.gif" length="0" type="image/jpeg"/><content:encoded><![CDATA[<div class="captioned-image-container"><figure><div class="image-link image2" data-component-name="Image2ToDOM"><div class="image2-inset"><picture><source type="image/webp" srcset="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!QPsS!,w_424,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_lossy/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fa56a0446-9903-4c24-bf8e-b64155678c28_360x203.gif 424w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!QPsS!,w_848,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_lossy/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fa56a0446-9903-4c24-bf8e-b64155678c28_360x203.gif 848w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!QPsS!,w_1272,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_lossy/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fa56a0446-9903-4c24-bf8e-b64155678c28_360x203.gif 1272w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!QPsS!,w_1456,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_lossy/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fa56a0446-9903-4c24-bf8e-b64155678c28_360x203.gif 1456w" sizes="100vw"><img src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!QPsS!,w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_lossy/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fa56a0446-9903-4c24-bf8e-b64155678c28_360x203.gif" width="570" height="321.4166666666667" data-attrs="{&quot;src&quot;:&quot;https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/a56a0446-9903-4c24-bf8e-b64155678c28_360x203.gif&quot;,&quot;srcNoWatermark&quot;:null,&quot;fullscreen&quot;:null,&quot;imageSize&quot;:null,&quot;height&quot;:203,&quot;width&quot;:360,&quot;resizeWidth&quot;:570,&quot;bytes&quot;:8040289,&quot;alt&quot;:null,&quot;title&quot;:null,&quot;type&quot;:&quot;image/gif&quot;,&quot;href&quot;:null,&quot;belowTheFold&quot;:false,&quot;topImage&quot;:true,&quot;internalRedirect&quot;:&quot;https://www.wonkette.com/i/222520538?img=https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fa56a0446-9903-4c24-bf8e-b64155678c28_360x203.gif&quot;,&quot;isProcessing&quot;:false,&quot;align&quot;:null,&quot;offset&quot;:false}" class="sizing-normal" alt="" srcset="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!QPsS!,w_424,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_lossy/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fa56a0446-9903-4c24-bf8e-b64155678c28_360x203.gif 424w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!QPsS!,w_848,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_lossy/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fa56a0446-9903-4c24-bf8e-b64155678c28_360x203.gif 848w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!QPsS!,w_1272,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_lossy/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fa56a0446-9903-4c24-bf8e-b64155678c28_360x203.gif 1272w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!QPsS!,w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_lossy/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fa56a0446-9903-4c24-bf8e-b64155678c28_360x203.gif 1456w" sizes="100vw" fetchpriority="high"></picture><div></div></div></div><figcaption class="image-caption">Tabs gif by your friend Martini Glambassador! </figcaption></figure></div><div class="callout-block" data-callout="true"><p><strong><mark data-color="rgb(207, 226, 243)" style="background-color: rgb(207, 226, 243); color: rgb(0, 0, 0);"><span data-color="#0000ff" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 255);">Good morning, terrible ones! It&#8217;s WONKETTE MEMBERSHIP DRIVE SUBSCRIBE WEEK OR MONTH! We are at 81 new (paid) subscribers, SO CLOSE to our goal of 100 new (paid) subscribers and then you get A PRIZE. </span></mark></strong></p><p class="button-wrapper" data-attrs="{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://www.wonkette.com/subscribe?&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Subscribe now&quot;,&quot;action&quot;:null,&quot;class&quot;:null}" data-component-name="ButtonCreateButton"><a class="button primary" href="https://www.wonkette.com/subscribe?"><span>Subscribe now</span></a></p><p><strong><mark data-color="rgb(0, 255, 255)" style="background-color: rgb(0, 255, 255); color: rgb(0, 0, 0);"><span data-color="#0000ff" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 255);">And if you are holding extra money, and ONLY if it is extra, feel free to slide it in our pockets! The button below will take any amount you like, one-time or monthly, at Paypal!</span></mark></strong></p><p class="button-wrapper" data-attrs="{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://www.paypal.com/donate/?hosted_button_id=B2H2C68PXBLK4&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Wonkette $ machine!&quot;,&quot;action&quot;:null,&quot;class&quot;:&quot;button-wrapper&quot;}" data-component-name="ButtonCreateButton"><a class="button primary button-wrapper" href="https://www.paypal.com/donate/?hosted_button_id=B2H2C68PXBLK4"><span>Wonkette $ machine!</span></a></p><p style="text-align: center;"></p><p style="text-align: center;"><strong><mark data-color="rgb(182, 215, 168)" style="background-color: rgb(182, 215, 168); color: rgb(0, 0, 0);"><span data-color="#0000ff" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 255);">Also! A Venmo!</span></mark></strong></p><p class="button-wrapper" data-attrs="{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://account.venmo.com/u/Wonkette&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Venmo Wonkette all the $$$!&quot;,&quot;action&quot;:null,&quot;class&quot;:&quot;button-wrapper&quot;}" data-component-name="ButtonCreateButton"><a class="button primary button-wrapper" href="https://account.venmo.com/u/Wonkette"><span>Venmo Wonkette all the $$$!</span></a></p><p></p><p><strong><span data-color="#9900ff" style="color: rgb(153, 0, 255);">Please NEVER send us money if you would have to go without! We love you.</span></strong></p></div><p>And now we tabs! </p><p>Here&#8217;s a bit more context on Israel&#8217;s election than I had yesterday, because I don&#8217;t know jack or shit about Israel. J Street says it looks hopeful, but obviously the question is whether moderate Israelis are prepared to share democracy with Arabs, or not. (NB, my uncle <a href="https://jstreet.org/people/victor-kovner">Victor Kovner</a> is on the J Street board.) <a href="https://jstreetdotorg.substack.com/p/j-street-expert-analysis-on-the-israeli?r=elvx&amp;utm_campaign=post&amp;utm_medium=email">(J Street) </a></p><p>See, Vivek Ramaswamy <em>had to </em>cut an ad with Amy Acton&#8217;s (pedophile-marrying) mother, because Amy Acton had pointed out HIS MOM (helped him with what may have been fraud on his dementia pill), so turn about and all that, don&#8217;t we all have moms? LOL :) <a href="https://oligarchwatch.substack.com/p/ramaswamy-says-infamous-attack-ad?r=elvx&amp;utm_campaign=post&amp;utm_medium=email">(Oligarch Watch)</a> <strong>Skip this next one if you need to:</strong> The man Amy Acton&#8217;s mom married, and fled with after he was indicted for raping her pre-teen daughter, had <a href="https://x.com/JSweetLI/status/2114713552158073044">already been indicted for raping his own teenage daughter.</a> I am sorry to everyone except Amy Acton&#8217;s mom and dead stepdad and Vivek Ramaswamy. </p><p>Oh, more rapes, Trump and Miss Switzerland edition. We&#8217;re sure the allegation was in the Epstein Files released by the Justice Department and just nobody noticed. <a href="https://people.com/former-miss-switzerland-beatrice-keul-alleges-donald-trump-raped-her-at-the-plaza-hotel-in-1993-12195670">(People mag)</a></p><p>Okay, NO MORE RAPES FOR THE REST OF THESE TABS. </p><div class="subscription-widget-wrap-editor" data-attrs="{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://www.wonkette.com/subscribe?&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Subscribe&quot;,&quot;language&quot;:&quot;en&quot;}" data-component-name="SubscribeWidgetToDOM"><div class="subscription-widget show-subscribe"><div class="preamble"><p class="cta-caption"><strong><span data-color="#0000ff" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 255);">We promise.</span></strong></p></div><form class="subscription-widget-subscribe"><input type="email" class="email-input" name="email" placeholder="Type your email&#8230;" tabindex="-1"><input type="submit" class="button primary" value="Subscribe"><div class="fake-input-wrapper"><div class="fake-input"></div><div class="fake-button"></div></div></form></div></div><p>HAHAHAAHAH, </p><blockquote><p>In the summer of 2025, a staffer for Mary Peltola, the Alaska Democrat who was eyeing a run for Senate, received unusual instructions from top campaign aides: Find as many people named Dan Sullivan in Alaska as you can.</p></blockquote><p>Oh no, did a Democratic campaign do a dirty trick? Eat a fuck. <a href="https://www.nytimes.com/2026/10/28/us/politics/alaska-dan-sullivan-conspiracy-peltola.html?unlocked_article_code=1.MFE.y_TT.Qjm2IrGxqPUY&amp;smid=url-share">(Gift link New York Times) </a>Here&#8217;s Jay Kuo on the lawsuit around it (and others). They&#8217;re flailing. <a href="https://statuskuo.substack.com/p/the-dojs-attack-on-our-elections?r=elvx&amp;utm_campaign=post&amp;utm_medium=email">(Status Kuo)</a></p><p>I know Florida&#8217;s Florida, but we really shouldn&#8217;t be ignoring Angie Nixon! <a href="https://nymag.com/intelligencer/article/angie-nixon-florida-midterms-senate-national-democrats.html?utm_medium=s1&amp;utm_campaign=nym&amp;utm_source=bluesky">(New York mag) </a>More Perfect Union took Nixon to the Trumpiest ruralest Trump county, one in which SO MANY people just lost their Medicaid. So how&#8217;d it go? <a href="https://open.substack.com/pub/moreperfectus/p/we-spoke-to-trump-voters-in-rural?r=elvx&amp;utm_campaign=post&amp;utm_medium=email">(More Perfect Union transcript) </a>Or you can watch the video below! </p><div id="youtube2--wRu0rJ1DUY" class="youtube-wrap" data-attrs="{&quot;videoId&quot;:&quot;-wRu0rJ1DUY&quot;,&quot;startTime&quot;:null,&quot;endTime&quot;:null}" data-component-name="Youtube2ToDOM"><div class="youtube-inner"><iframe src="https://www.youtube-nocookie.com/embed/-wRu0rJ1DUY?rel=0&amp;autoplay=0&amp;showinfo=0&amp;enablejsapi=0" frameborder="0" loading="lazy" gesture="media" allow="autoplay; fullscreen" allowautoplay="true" allowfullscreen="true" width="728" height="409"></iframe></div></div><p>Hmmmm, Trump&#8217;s Big Bullshit Bill didn&#8217;t just cut everyone&#8217;s Medicaid to pay for millionaires&#8217; tax cuts; it will also shovel millions at large corporations for helping fuck people with new work requirements. They&#8217;re getting you both ways! <a href="https://prospect.org/2026/10/28/new-medicaid-requirements-galvanizing-dems-in-battleground-states/">(The American Prospect) </a></p><p>I sure wish this Bulwark post wasn&#8217;t paywalled: It discusses in depth Abdul El-Sayed&#8217;s Health Department work in both Detroit and Wayne County, and his THRIVE proposals including expanding nationally Michigan&#8217;s pilot RxKids program &#8212; a UBI for pregnant women and new mothers &#8212; as well as Mike Rogers&#8217;s wanting to cut the programs that help poor people, like Medicaid. And that&#8217;s why Wonkette never has a paywall, ever. Don&#8217;t you think more people should be like Wonkette? <a href="https://open.substack.com/pub/thebulwark/p/the-case-abdul-el-sayed-can-make-to-black-michigan-voters?r=elvx&amp;utm_campaign=post&amp;utm_medium=email">(The Bulwark)</a></p><div class="subscription-widget-wrap-editor" data-attrs="{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://www.wonkette.com/subscribe?&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Subscribe&quot;,&quot;language&quot;:&quot;en&quot;}" data-component-name="SubscribeWidgetToDOM"><div class="subscription-widget show-subscribe"><div class="preamble"><p class="cta-caption"><strong><span data-color="#9900ff" style="color: rgb(153, 0, 255);">Ahem.</span></strong></p></div><form class="subscription-widget-subscribe"><input type="email" class="email-input" name="email" placeholder="Type your email&#8230;" tabindex="-1"><input type="submit" class="button primary" value="Subscribe"><div class="fake-input-wrapper"><div class="fake-input"></div><div class="fake-button"></div></div></form></div></div><p>Here&#8217;s some Justice Department shitheads, in a well-reported and straightforward story that makes clear these shitheads are some bullshit. <a href="https://www.nytimes.com/2026/10/28/us/politics/trump-us-attorneys-elections-protests-cases.html?unlocked_article_code=1.MFE.oVV8.svAN3NDVpQ4P&amp;smid=url-share">(Gift link New York Times) </a>Here, this one&#8217;s funner. <a href="https://thefuckingnews.substack.com/p/criminal-attorney-general-leaves?r=elvx&amp;utm_campaign=post&amp;utm_medium=email">(The Fucking News)</a></p><p>Our Liz on the latest charge against James Comey from presumably one of the fuckers in the preceding tab. Is it even stupider than &#8220;aggravated seashells&#8221;? No, but it&#8217;s close. <a href="https://open.substack.com/pub/aaronrupar/p/comey-third-criminal-charges?r=elvx&amp;utm_campaign=post-expanded-share&amp;utm_medium=web">(Public Notice) </a></p><p>Go to jail SOME MORE, James O&#8217;Keefe and some other dude! This time you tried to show how &#8220;easy&#8221; it is to commit voter fraud but instead you proved how hard it is to commit voter fraud, and once again YA INDICTED :D. Mary Moriarty, GIT EM. <a href="https://www.startribune.com/conservative-influencers-face-identity-theft-charges-over-minnesota-primary/601903539?utm_source=gift">(Gift link Star Tribune)</a></p><p>What&#8217;s Treasury Secretary Scott Bessent peeing on your leg about today? <a href="https://senatebankingdemocrats.substack.com/p/trumpflation-tracker-update-secretary?r=elvx&amp;utm_campaign=post&amp;utm_medium=email">(Senate Banking Democrats) </a></p><p>Hasan Piker is suing THE FUCK out of CNN conservative doucher Scott Jennings for what sounds like Pretty Actual Malice. <a href="https://www.bloomberglaw.com/public/desktop/document/PIKERvJENNINGSDocketNo126cv03770DDCOct272026CourtDocket?doc_id=XOMVAQTHD18389BRDJLDR33QK5">(Bloomberg Law) </a></p><p>Do YOU have &#8220;suspicious travel patterns&#8221;? Are you <em>sure?</em> <a href="https://www.aclu.org/news/privacy-technology/ai-driven-police-stops">(ACLU)</a></p><div id="youtube2-JsntlJZ9h1U" class="youtube-wrap" data-attrs="{&quot;videoId&quot;:&quot;JsntlJZ9h1U&quot;,&quot;startTime&quot;:null,&quot;endTime&quot;:null}" data-component-name="Youtube2ToDOM"><div class="youtube-inner"><iframe src="https://www.youtube-nocookie.com/embed/JsntlJZ9h1U?rel=0&amp;autoplay=0&amp;showinfo=0&amp;enablejsapi=0" frameborder="0" loading="lazy" gesture="media" allow="autoplay; fullscreen" allowautoplay="true" allowfullscreen="true" width="728" height="409"></iframe></div></div><div><hr></div><p><strong><span data-color="#9900ff" style="color: rgb(153, 0, 255);">Bookshop.org is the anti-Amazon, a certified B-corp partnering with local bookstores. 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Buy all the books!</span></strong></p><p style="text-align: center;"><strong><span data-color="#4a86e8" style="color: rgb(74, 134, 232);">Have you subscribed to Wonkette today?</span></strong></p><p class="button-wrapper" data-attrs="{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://www.wonkette.com/subscribe?&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Subscribe now&quot;,&quot;action&quot;:null,&quot;class&quot;:null}" data-component-name="ButtonCreateButton"><a class="button primary" href="https://www.wonkette.com/subscribe?"><span>Subscribe now</span></a></p><p style="text-align: center;"><strong><span data-color="#ff00ff" style="color: rgb(255, 0, 255);">It would be really helpful if you sent Wonkette to some friends!</span></strong></p><p class="button-wrapper" data-attrs="{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://www.wonkette.com/p/bad-boys-bad-boys-tabs-thurs-april?utm_source=substack&amp;utm_medium=email&amp;utm_content=share&amp;action=share&amp;token=eyJ1c2VyX2lkIjo2ODE1NDksInBvc3RfaWQiOjE5Mjg1NjY0MywiaWF0IjoxNzc1MTQ3NDQxLCJleHAiOjE3Nzc3Mzk0NDEsImlzcyI6InB1Yi0xNzgzMzY3Iiwic3ViIjoicG9zdC1yZWFjdGlvbiJ9.ZPkGYsUp53WXkDyTd9dzxEvUbzBhwg7T5b51FiRC6ks&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Share&quot;,&quot;action&quot;:null,&quot;class&quot;:&quot;button-wrapper&quot;}" data-component-name="ButtonCreateButton"><a class="button primary button-wrapper" href="https://www.wonkette.com/p/bad-boys-bad-boys-tabs-thurs-april?utm_source=substack&amp;utm_medium=email&amp;utm_content=share&amp;action=share&amp;token=eyJ1c2VyX2lkIjo2ODE1NDksInBvc3RfaWQiOjE5Mjg1NjY0MywiaWF0IjoxNzc1MTQ3NDQxLCJleHAiOjE3Nzc3Mzk0NDEsImlzcyI6InB1Yi0xNzgzMzY3Iiwic3ViIjoicG9zdC1yZWFjdGlvbiJ9.ZPkGYsUp53WXkDyTd9dzxEvUbzBhwg7T5b51FiRC6ks"><span>Share</span></a></p>]]></content:encoded></item><item><title><![CDATA[Songs About ‘Jane’! Tabs, Wed., Oct. 28, 2026]]></title><description><![CDATA[Morning news roundup!]]></description><link>https://www.wonkette.com/p/songs-about-jane-tabs-wed-oct-28</link><guid isPermaLink="false">https://www.wonkette.com/p/songs-about-jane-tabs-wed-oct-28</guid><dc:creator><![CDATA[Rebecca Schoenkopf]]></dc:creator><pubDate>Wed, 28 Oct 2026 11:04:13 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!hqs9!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F004797cb-cb4c-4225-bc37-295fbf638cef_600x600.gif" length="0" type="image/jpeg"/><content:encoded><![CDATA[<div class="captioned-image-container"><figure><a class="image-link image2 is-viewable-img" target="_blank" href="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!hqs9!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F004797cb-cb4c-4225-bc37-295fbf638cef_600x600.gif" 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srcset="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!hqs9!,w_424,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_lossy/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F004797cb-cb4c-4225-bc37-295fbf638cef_600x600.gif 424w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!hqs9!,w_848,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_lossy/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F004797cb-cb4c-4225-bc37-295fbf638cef_600x600.gif 848w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!hqs9!,w_1272,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_lossy/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F004797cb-cb4c-4225-bc37-295fbf638cef_600x600.gif 1272w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!hqs9!,w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_lossy/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F004797cb-cb4c-4225-bc37-295fbf638cef_600x600.gif 1456w" sizes="100vw" fetchpriority="high"></picture><div class="image-link-expand"><div class="pencraft pc-display-flex pc-gap-8 pc-reset"><button tabindex="0" type="button" class="pencraft pc-reset pencraft icon-container restack-image buttonBase-GK1x3M"><svg aria-hidden="true" width="20" height="20" viewBox="0 0 20 20" fill="none" stroke-width="1.5" stroke="var(--color-fg-primary)" stroke-linecap="round" stroke-linejoin="round" xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" class="icon-noB79L"><g><path d="M2.53001 7.81595C3.49179 4.73911 6.43281 2.5 9.91173 2.5C13.1684 2.5 15.9537 4.46214 17.0852 7.23684L17.6179 8.67647M17.6179 8.67647L18.5002 4.26471M17.6179 8.67647L13.6473 6.91176M17.4995 12.1841C16.5378 15.2609 13.5967 17.5 10.1178 17.5C6.86118 17.5 4.07589 15.5379 2.94432 12.7632L2.41165 11.3235M2.41165 11.3235L1.5293 15.7353M2.41165 11.3235L6.38224 13.0882"></path></g></svg></button><button tabindex="0" type="button" class="pencraft pc-reset pencraft icon-container view-image buttonBase-GK1x3M"><svg xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" width="20" height="20" viewBox="0 0 24 24" fill="none" stroke="currentColor" stroke-width="2" stroke-linecap="round" stroke-linejoin="round" class="lucide lucide-maximize2 lucide-maximize-2 icon-noB79L"><polyline points="15 3 21 3 21 9"></polyline><polyline points="9 21 3 21 3 15"></polyline><line x1="21" x2="14" y1="3" y2="10"></line><line x1="3" x2="10" y1="21" y2="14"></line></svg></button></div></div></div></a><figcaption class="image-caption">Tabs gif by your friend Martini Glambassador! </figcaption></figure></div><div class="callout-block" data-callout="true"><p><strong><mark data-color="rgb(207, 226, 243)" style="background-color: rgb(207, 226, 243); color: rgb(0, 0, 0);"><span data-color="#0000ff" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 255);">Good morning, terrible ones! 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A Venmo!</span></mark></strong></p><p class="button-wrapper" data-attrs="{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://account.venmo.com/u/Wonkette&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Venmo Wonkette all the $$$!&quot;,&quot;action&quot;:null,&quot;class&quot;:&quot;button-wrapper&quot;}" data-component-name="ButtonCreateButton"><a class="button primary button-wrapper" href="https://account.venmo.com/u/Wonkette"><span>Venmo Wonkette all the $$$!</span></a></p><p></p><p><strong><span data-color="#ff00ff" style="color: rgb(255, 0, 255);">Please NEVER send us money if you would have to go without! We love you.</span></strong></p></div><p>Now what are we tabsing today? </p><p>&#8220;I don&#8217;t want to get into &#8216;he said, she said,&#8217;&#8221; said Todd Blanche, currently the attorney general of the United States, to Ghislaine Maxwell, who raped a bunch of girls with her boyfriend Jeffrey Epstein, when she was about to start talking about &#8220;Jane.&#8221; <a href="https://thefuckingnews.substack.com/p/media-under-cover-report-uncovering?r=elvx&amp;utm_campaign=post&amp;utm_medium=email">(The Fucking News) </a>&#8220;As I write this, the <em>Washington Post</em> has published at least four articles about Obama&#8217;s &#8216;Cheesecake Factory&#8217; line, and zero articles about a new allegation of rape against Donald Trump, who has <a href="https://www.washingtonpost.com/politics/2023/07/19/trump-carroll-judge-rape/?ref=findinggravity.net">already been found liable for sexual assault</a>. <a href="https://www.findinggravity.net/more-women-have-accused-donald-trump-of-rape-than-have-seen-him-in-a-cheesecake-factory/">(Jamison Foser)</a> The new rape accusations about Trump, which Todd Blanche sure seems to be covering up as fast as he can! <a href="https://open.substack.com/pub/popularinformation/p/the-rape-allegations-against-trump?r=elvx&amp;utm_campaign=post&amp;utm_medium=email">(Popular Info) </a>House Judiciary Committee Democrats REPORT. <a href="https://democrats-judiciary.house.gov/sites/evo-subsites/democrats-judiciary.house.gov/files/evo-media-document/2026-10.hjc-dems-staff-report-epstein-and-trump.pdf?utm_source=substack&amp;utm_medium=email">(Report) </a></p><p>What Jamie Raskin said. </p><div class="bluesky-wrap outer" style="height: auto; display: flex; justify-content: center; margin-bottom: 24px;" data-attrs="{&quot;postId&quot;:&quot;3myv5z3njss2i&quot;,&quot;authorDid&quot;:&quot;did:plc:4llrhdclvdlmmynkwsmg5tdc&quot;,&quot;authorName&quot;:&quot;Aaron Rupar&quot;,&quot;authorHandle&quot;:&quot;atrupar.com&quot;,&quot;authorAvatarUrl&quot;:&quot;https://cdn.bsky.app/img/avatar/plain/did:plc:4llrhdclvdlmmynkwsmg5tdc/bafkreibmhm3h6ar52pogvolisrzjdhwa2myras5vkxzj67twxn2l6pogwu&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Raskin: \&quot;When historians look back on this miserable period of our history, they might say that the first problem was disregarding all those women who told us back in 2016 that they had been sexually harassed or assaulted by Donald Trump.\&quot;&quot;,&quot;createdAt&quot;:&quot;2026-10-27T21:18:49.312Z&quot;,&quot;uri&quot;:&quot;at://did:plc:4llrhdclvdlmmynkwsmg5tdc/app.bsky.feed.post/3myv5z3njss2i&quot;,&quot;imageUrls&quot;:[&quot;https://video.bsky.app/watch/did%3Aplc%3A4llrhdclvdlmmynkwsmg5tdc/bafkreib7bxr7aoytfwes3ozf2pbccc26ubbsrm3wkodkfz7miwkpiis6cq/thumbnail.jpg&quot;]}" data-component-name="BlueskyCreateBlueskyEmbed"><iframe id="bluesky-3myv5z3njss2i" data-bluesky-id="18175134588405562" src="https://embed.bsky.app/embed/did:plc:4llrhdclvdlmmynkwsmg5tdc/app.bsky.feed.post/3myv5z3njss2i?id=18175134588405562" width="100%" style="display: block; flex-grow: 1; max-width: 600px;" frameborder="0" scrolling="no"></iframe></div><p>Who doesn&#8217;t know jack and shit about Israeli politics? YA GIRL. But it looks like Israel&#8217;s election was bad for Netanyahu (I know that is yay!) and this guy Eisenkot, if he can form a government, might (MIGHT) be less bad for Arab and Palestinian peoples! Maybe. Don&#8217;t know. <a href="https://www.haaretz.com/israel-news/elections/2026-10-27/ty-article-magazine/.premium/who-is-gadi-eisenkot-and-what-does-he-stand-for/000001a1-7dd5-dd27-a1ef-fff549640001">(Haaretz) </a></p><p>All the Trump administration things judges ruled on on Monday! So many things!! <a href="https://joycevance.substack.com/p/the-day-every-judge-ruled?r=elvx&amp;utm_campaign=post-expanded-share&amp;utm_medium=web">(Joyce Vance)</a></p><p>No, we really absolutely have to investigate and charge everyone who broke the law for this dipshit. Winter is coming. <a href="https://open.substack.com/pub/brianbeutler/p/wheres-the-music-abdul-el-sayed-elissa-slotkin-jon-ossoff-tariffs-iran-war-medicaid-affordability-katie-miller-mike-davis-stephen-miller?r=elvx&amp;utm_campaign=post&amp;utm_medium=email">(Brian Beutler)  </a></p><p>How much are the people who&#8217;ve been defrauded by Trump pardonees losing out on restitution the fraudsters no longer have to pay? $119 million, and counting! <a href="https://www.cbsnews.com/projects/2026/trump-pardon-economy-investigation/?x=1">(CBS News) </a></p><p>And how much extra are you paying for everything since Trump started his stupid loser war on Iran? If Senator Professor Elizabeth Warren Ma&#8217;am is going to run the numbers, the least you can do is click on it! <a href="https://senatebankingdemocrats.substack.com/p/trumpflation-tracker-update-4e4?r=elvx&amp;utm_campaign=post&amp;utm_medium=email">(Senate Banking Democrats Trump Inflation Tracker) </a></p><p>Brent Taylor, Christian father and husband and dude running against Justin Pearson for Congress, has been &#8220;youthfully indiscretioning&#8221; his dick pic all over unsuspecting recipients&#8217; phones as recently and youthfully as when he was but 53. That&#8217;s how old I am! And I am a grandma! So yes, youthful indiscretions for sure! <a href="https://www.nashvillescene.com/news/pithinthewind/brent-taylors-sexting-problem/article_150e5999-55f6-40a8-9bd6-7da56bfe5d84.html">(Nashville Scene)</a></p><p>This lady is running against Scott Perry, and she MAY ONCE HAVE BEEN but probably wasn&#8217;t naked in her own back yard. But if she had been, which she probably wasn&#8217;t, a minor child could have seen! But didn&#8217;t.<a href="https://talkingpointsmemo.com/edblog/fast-times-in-east-pennsboro-township-the-scott-perry-boogie-nights-story?utm_source=brevo&amp;utm_medium=email&amp;utm_campaign=Top%20stories%2010272026"> (Talking Points Memo) </a></p><p>Louisiana could send a Black Democrat farmer man to the Senate! Shut up, you don&#8217;t know! The activists are activating! <a href="https://wherethereissmoke.substack.com/p/will-louisiana-send-its-first-black?r=elvx&amp;utm_campaign=post&amp;utm_medium=email">(Danny Cherry) </a></p><p>This is a real thing that happened and not an Internet joke: Parents called the police on this three-year-old Black boy for being too good at soccer, it wasn&#8217;t &#8220;fair.&#8221; <a href="https://blacksportsonline.com/2026/10/police-called-on-3-year-old-black-boy-because-he-was-too-good-at-soccer/">(Black Sports Online)</a></p><p>Wonkpal Denny Carter with the Bad Faith about fake polls!<a href="https://badfaithtimes.com/the-trump-regime-is-suddenly-very-worried-about-fake-midterm-polls/"> (Bad Faith Times) </a></p><p>Should you vote for a Democratic candidate who&#8217;s mildly to fairly shitty on trans issues? Listen to your friend Charlotte Clymer. <a href="https://charlotteclymer.substack.com/p/the-question-i-keep-getting-about?r=elvx&amp;utm_campaign=post-expanded-share&amp;utm_medium=web">(Charlotte&#8217;s Web Thoughts) </a></p><p>Well, if adding jarred marinara to your pasta fagioli makes you more likely to cook pasta fagioli, it&#8217;s OKAY, STANLEY TUCCI. I GUESS. (Everybody says this soup is delicious though and I should stop being an elitist B, it&#8217;s not like I&#8217;m out here making my own from scratch ever, it is not my chicken soup and I don&#8217;t have 12 separate pasta fagioli carcasses in the freezer for it!) <a href="https://www.allrecipes.com/stanley-tucci-easy-shortcut-pasta-fagioli-soup-recipe-8721804">(All Recipes) </a></p><p>Everybody hates Maroon 5, even though they were good! So instead of a song from <em>Songs About Jane</em>, here is a song from Square, which was a trio that won a big Battle of the Bands and then moved from Nebraska to SoCal before one of them, James Valentine, left for Maroon 5 and FUCKIN ROCK STARDOM and the others were SO PISSED oh my god they never shut about it.  </p><div id="youtube2-9xG4qP6aNY8" class="youtube-wrap" data-attrs="{&quot;videoId&quot;:&quot;9xG4qP6aNY8&quot;,&quot;startTime&quot;:null,&quot;endTime&quot;:null}" data-component-name="Youtube2ToDOM"><div class="youtube-inner"><iframe src="https://www.youtube-nocookie.com/embed/9xG4qP6aNY8?rel=0&amp;autoplay=0&amp;showinfo=0&amp;enablejsapi=0" frameborder="0" loading="lazy" gesture="media" allow="autoplay; fullscreen" allowautoplay="true" allowfullscreen="true" width="728" height="409"></iframe></div></div><div><hr></div><p><strong><span data-color="#0000ff" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 255);">Bookshop.org is the anti-Amazon, a certified B-corp partnering with local bookstores. 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Tabs, Fri., Oct. 23, 2026]]></title><description><![CDATA[Morning news roundup!]]></description><link>https://www.wonkette.com/p/glenn-becks-new-child-rape-math-tabs</link><guid isPermaLink="false">https://www.wonkette.com/p/glenn-becks-new-child-rape-math-tabs</guid><dc:creator><![CDATA[Rebecca Schoenkopf]]></dc:creator><pubDate>Fri, 23 Oct 2026 11:03:15 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/47cb90d6-f5bd-4cac-b5a7-743ed517846d_400x225.gif" length="0" type="image/jpeg"/><content:encoded><![CDATA[<div class="captioned-image-container"><figure><div class="image-link image2" data-component-name="Image2ToDOM"><div class="image2-inset"><picture><source type="image/webp" srcset="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!cr6n!,w_424,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_lossy/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F676cacd6-f345-4fb9-b4c2-55079d0e7765_400x225.gif 424w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!cr6n!,w_848,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_lossy/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F676cacd6-f345-4fb9-b4c2-55079d0e7765_400x225.gif 848w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!cr6n!,w_1272,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_lossy/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F676cacd6-f345-4fb9-b4c2-55079d0e7765_400x225.gif 1272w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!cr6n!,w_1456,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_lossy/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F676cacd6-f345-4fb9-b4c2-55079d0e7765_400x225.gif 1456w" sizes="100vw"><img src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!cr6n!,w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_lossy/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F676cacd6-f345-4fb9-b4c2-55079d0e7765_400x225.gif" width="534" height="300.375" data-attrs="{&quot;src&quot;:&quot;https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/676cacd6-f345-4fb9-b4c2-55079d0e7765_400x225.gif&quot;,&quot;srcNoWatermark&quot;:null,&quot;fullscreen&quot;:null,&quot;imageSize&quot;:null,&quot;height&quot;:225,&quot;width&quot;:400,&quot;resizeWidth&quot;:534,&quot;bytes&quot;:8607442,&quot;alt&quot;:null,&quot;title&quot;:null,&quot;type&quot;:&quot;image/gif&quot;,&quot;href&quot;:null,&quot;belowTheFold&quot;:false,&quot;topImage&quot;:true,&quot;internalRedirect&quot;:&quot;https://www.wonkette.com/i/221638332?img=https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F676cacd6-f345-4fb9-b4c2-55079d0e7765_400x225.gif&quot;,&quot;isProcessing&quot;:false,&quot;align&quot;:null,&quot;offset&quot;:false}" class="sizing-normal" alt="" srcset="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!cr6n!,w_424,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_lossy/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F676cacd6-f345-4fb9-b4c2-55079d0e7765_400x225.gif 424w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!cr6n!,w_848,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_lossy/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F676cacd6-f345-4fb9-b4c2-55079d0e7765_400x225.gif 848w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!cr6n!,w_1272,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_lossy/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F676cacd6-f345-4fb9-b4c2-55079d0e7765_400x225.gif 1272w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!cr6n!,w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_lossy/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F676cacd6-f345-4fb9-b4c2-55079d0e7765_400x225.gif 1456w" sizes="100vw" fetchpriority="high"></picture><div></div></div></div><figcaption class="image-caption">Tabs gif by your friend Martini Glambassador! </figcaption></figure></div><div class="callout-block" data-callout="true"><p><strong><mark data-color="rgb(207, 226, 243)" style="background-color: rgb(207, 226, 243); color: rgb(0, 0, 0);"><span data-color="#9900ff" style="color: rgb(153, 0, 255);">Good morning, terrible ones! 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The button below will take any amount you like, one-time or monthly, at Paypal!</span></mark></strong></p><p class="button-wrapper" data-attrs="{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://www.paypal.com/donate/?hosted_button_id=B2H2C68PXBLK4&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Wonkette $ machine!&quot;,&quot;action&quot;:null,&quot;class&quot;:&quot;button-wrapper&quot;}" data-component-name="ButtonCreateButton"><a class="button primary button-wrapper" href="https://www.paypal.com/donate/?hosted_button_id=B2H2C68PXBLK4"><span>Wonkette $ machine!</span></a></p><p style="text-align: center;"><strong><mark data-color="#b6d7a8" style="background-color: rgb(182, 215, 168); color: rgb(0, 0, 0);"><span data-color="#ff00ff" style="color: rgb(255, 0, 255);">Also! A Venmo!</span></mark></strong></p><p class="button-wrapper" data-attrs="{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://account.venmo.com/u/Wonkette&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Venmo Wonkette all the $$$!&quot;,&quot;action&quot;:null,&quot;class&quot;:&quot;button-wrapper&quot;}" data-component-name="ButtonCreateButton"><a class="button primary button-wrapper" href="https://account.venmo.com/u/Wonkette"><span>Venmo Wonkette all the $$$!</span></a></p><p><strong><span data-color="#e11d48" style="color: rgb(225, 29, 72);">Please NEVER send us money if you would have to go without! We love you.</span></strong></p></div><p>Good morning, it&#8217;s TABS TIME! </p><p>Wonkpal Paul Slansky wrote a book with Princess Leia the last year of her life. On her 70th birthday, he typed out all the shit she said about Trump. <a href="https://paulslansky.substack.com/p/2026-10-21-leia-loathed-him-the-encore?r=elvx&amp;utm_campaign=post-expanded-share&amp;utm_medium=web">(Slansky) </a></p><p>Amy Acton and her $4 million in-kind contribution from Vivek Ramaswamy, day ? Four maybe? Ben Shapiro all cool with Vivek ad, it ain&#8217;t beanball and whatnot, while Glenn Beck has some of that New Math: </p><blockquote><p>&#8220;We do know that he fled the state after being charged with the rape of a 12-year-old girl, Amy&#8212;and that doesn&#8217;t look good!&#8221; Beck conceded, giving Acton one &#8220;point.&#8221;</p><p>Then again, Acton&#8217;s mother claims she was once involved in setting up a sexual assault counseling program at a hospital. [&#8230;] &#8220;Point each!&#8221; Beck said. &#8220;That means: Dismiss it.&#8221;</p></blockquote><p><a href="https://open.substack.com/pub/thebulwark/p/maga-media-learns-to-love-vile-vivek-ramaswamy-ad?r=elvx&amp;utm_campaign=post&amp;utm_medium=email">(The Bulwark) </a></p><p>I knew Trump would eventually break this way, after at first pretending he didn&#8217;t know what was going on with Acton and Ramaswamy. First, never back down, never admit fault. Second, what&#8217;s he going to do, side AGAINST child rape? <a href="https://www.nytimes.com/live/2026/10/22/us/midterms-elections/6c08c4a1-4ee6-5802-972d-19c4c08bde45?smid=url-share">(New York Times) </a></p><p>The Trump pardons: Just how corrupt are they? Pretty fuckin corrupt! <a href="https://statuskuo.substack.com/p/the-trump-pardon-mill?r=elvx&amp;utm_campaign=post&amp;utm_medium=email">(Status Kuo) </a></p><p>He&#8217;ll get around to pardoning his son-in-law Jared Kushner any minute now, I bet, as long as he gets (presumably has already gotten) a taste. <a href="https://www.vanityfair.com/story/jared-kushner-hacked-phone-secret-negotiations">(Vanity Fair) </a></p><p>My senator Elissa Slotkin is a little on the centrist side, but she&#8217;s Team Fight, and she wants to take back Congress, investigate these fucking criminals, and put them in fucking prison as a warning to young people to NOT DO CRIME. So of course they had to lie entirely about how she is threatening to do (weaponize government) what they&#8217;re actually doing. <a href="https://newrepublic.com/article/216853/trump-sen-elissa-slotkin-exposes-maga-scam">(The New Republic) </a></p><p>Democratic consultants might as well be Bain Capital, stripping the party for parts. Seventy-three percent of our donations going to these chuds? Burn it the fuck down. <a href="https://newrepublic.com/article/216304/consulting-class-eating-democratic-party">(The New Republic) </a></p><p>Post office changes are boning rural vote-by-mail Republicans, oh that&#8217;s a shame. <a href="https://www.propublica.org/article/mail-ballot-delays-postal-service-midterms">(Pro Publica) </a></p><p>ICE is going door to door in California looking for immigrants ahead of the midterms. <a href="https://www.liberalcurrents.com/ice-goons-tear-the-children-out-of-a-fathers-arms/?ref=news-roundup-newsletter">(Liberal Currents)</a></p><p>Almost a thousand women have been arrested over three years for not doing their pregnancies right. <a href="https://jessica.substack.com/p/report-over-900-women-arrested-for?r=elvx&amp;utm_campaign=post&amp;utm_medium=email">(Abortion, Every Day)</a></p><p>Ohhhh, I get it, the DC golf course Trump wants to kill is full of not-rich people who are also Black! <a href="https://slate.com/culture/2026/10/trump-washington-dc-east-potomac-golf-links.html">(Slate) </a></p><p>What are state governments spending their welfare funds on today? Suck it, Brett FAVVVVRUH and Casey DeSantis! They&#8217;re buyin a million dollar SPY CAR! <a href="https://www.wrdw.com/2026/10/20/why-did-ga-agency-use-welfare-funds-buy-spy-vehicle/">(WRDW) </a></p><p>Meta to give Mark Zuckerberg MORE shares so he can sell them to pay his wealth tax &#8212; wouldn&#8217;t want the guy with $230 billion to feel <em>pinched</em> &#8212; should California decide to GET HIS ASS. <a href="https://www.theguardian.com/technology/2026/oct/22/meta-mark-zuckerberg-california-wealth-tax">(The Guardian)</a> Meanwhile, Larry Ellison borrowed billions against his stock so his dork son could buy the rest of the US media he didn&#8217;t already own yet, without any pesky capital gains or loss of control <a href="https://www.wsj.com/finance/larry-ellison-warner-bros-loans-49918714?st=SHWQ9e&amp;reflink=desktopwebshare_permalink">(Gift link Wall Street Journal) </a></p><p><em>Wired</em> goes back and reports out its early Elizabeth Holmes/Theranos boosting. Fun! And more outlets should do it. <a href="https://www.wired.com/story/how-elizabeth-holmes-tricked-wired-and-everyone-else/">(Wired)</a></p><p>This video game thing innovation that does not affect me personally (as if), of charging people by the minute for games they have already used money to buy, seems real fucked! <a href="https://arstechnica.com/gaming/2026/10/xbox-wants-you-to-pay-24-to-40-cents-per-hour-to-stream-games-you-already-bought/">(Ars Technica)</a></p><p>Let&#8217;s nerd out with Abdul El-Sayed! (Via <a href="https://thefuckingnews.substack.com/p/stock-buybacks-should-be-illegal?r=elvx&amp;utm_campaign=post&amp;utm_medium=email">The Fucking News)</a></p><div id="youtube2-uTuoqZePDSI" class="youtube-wrap" data-attrs="{&quot;videoId&quot;:&quot;uTuoqZePDSI&quot;,&quot;startTime&quot;:null,&quot;endTime&quot;:null}" data-component-name="Youtube2ToDOM"><div class="youtube-inner"><iframe src="https://www.youtube-nocookie.com/embed/uTuoqZePDSI?rel=0&amp;autoplay=0&amp;showinfo=0&amp;enablejsapi=0" frameborder="0" loading="lazy" gesture="media" allow="autoplay; fullscreen" allowautoplay="true" allowfullscreen="true" width="728" height="409"></iframe></div></div><div class="callout-block" data-callout="true"><p><strong><span data-color="#b45f06" style="color: rgb(180, 95, 6);">This week&#8217;s movie night features </span></strong><em><strong><span data-color="#b45f06" style="color: rgb(180, 95, 6);">Anna And The Apocalypse</span></strong></em><strong><span data-color="#b45f06" style="color: rgb(180, 95, 6);">, available for free on </span><a href="https://youtu.be/-STiHcNcnGs?si=sW25LQmAPzhaBEym"><span data-color="#b45f06" style="color: rgb(180, 95, 6);">YouTube</span></a><span data-color="#b45f06" style="color: rgb(180, 95, 6);">; with subscription on AMC+ and Shudder; free with ads on Tubi and Pluto; free with library card on Kanopy in certain locations; $3.99 in the usual places. Join ZiggyWiggy and all your friends Saturday night at 9 Eastern! </span></strong></p></div><div><hr></div><p><strong><span data-color="#0000ff" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 255);">Bookshop.org is the anti-Amazon, a certified B-corp partnering with local bookstores. Here&#8217;s our </span><a href="https://bookshop.org/shop/wonkette"><mark data-color="rgb(0, 255, 255)" style="background-color: rgb(0, 255, 255); color: rgb(0, 0, 0);"><span data-color="#0000ff" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 255);">Bookshop affiliate link,</span></mark></a><span data-color="#0000ff" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 255);"> when you buy books, Wonkette gets </span></strong><em><strong><span data-color="#0000ff" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 255);">10 percent. </span></strong></em><strong><span data-color="#0000ff" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 255);">You can search any old book from that page and it will count. Buy all the books!</span></strong></p><p style="text-align: center;"><strong><span data-color="#9900ff" style="color: rgb(153, 0, 255);">Have you subscribed to Wonkette today?</span></strong></p><p class="button-wrapper" data-attrs="{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://www.wonkette.com/subscribe?&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Subscribe now&quot;,&quot;action&quot;:null,&quot;class&quot;:null}" data-component-name="ButtonCreateButton"><a class="button primary" href="https://www.wonkette.com/subscribe?"><span>Subscribe now</span></a></p><p style="text-align: center;"><strong><span data-color="#38761d" style="color: rgb(56, 118, 29);">It would be really helpful if you sent Wonkette to some friends!</span></strong></p><p class="button-wrapper" data-attrs="{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://www.wonkette.com/p/bad-boys-bad-boys-tabs-thurs-april?utm_source=substack&amp;utm_medium=email&amp;utm_content=share&amp;action=share&amp;token=eyJ1c2VyX2lkIjo2ODE1NDksInBvc3RfaWQiOjE5Mjg1NjY0MywiaWF0IjoxNzc1MTQ3NDQxLCJleHAiOjE3Nzc3Mzk0NDEsImlzcyI6InB1Yi0xNzgzMzY3Iiwic3ViIjoicG9zdC1yZWFjdGlvbiJ9.ZPkGYsUp53WXkDyTd9dzxEvUbzBhwg7T5b51FiRC6ks&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Share&quot;,&quot;action&quot;:null,&quot;class&quot;:&quot;button-wrapper&quot;}" data-component-name="ButtonCreateButton"><a class="button primary button-wrapper" href="https://www.wonkette.com/p/bad-boys-bad-boys-tabs-thurs-april?utm_source=substack&amp;utm_medium=email&amp;utm_content=share&amp;action=share&amp;token=eyJ1c2VyX2lkIjo2ODE1NDksInBvc3RfaWQiOjE5Mjg1NjY0MywiaWF0IjoxNzc1MTQ3NDQxLCJleHAiOjE3Nzc3Mzk0NDEsImlzcyI6InB1Yi0xNzgzMzY3Iiwic3ViIjoicG9zdC1yZWFjdGlvbiJ9.ZPkGYsUp53WXkDyTd9dzxEvUbzBhwg7T5b51FiRC6ks"><span>Share</span></a></p>]]></content:encoded></item><item><title><![CDATA[Crimes No Punishment. Tabs, Thurs., Oct. 22, 2026]]></title><description><![CDATA[Morning news roundup!]]></description><link>https://www.wonkette.com/p/crimes-no-punishment-tabs-thurs-oct</link><guid isPermaLink="false">https://www.wonkette.com/p/crimes-no-punishment-tabs-thurs-oct</guid><dc:creator><![CDATA[Rebecca Schoenkopf]]></dc:creator><pubDate>Thu, 22 Oct 2026 11:02:42 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!b4PS!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F14079f48-1c0d-401b-aa02-132349a872a8_340x612.gif" length="0" type="image/jpeg"/><content:encoded><![CDATA[<div class="captioned-image-container"><figure><a class="image-link image2 is-viewable-img" target="_blank" href="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!b4PS!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F14079f48-1c0d-401b-aa02-132349a872a8_340x612.gif" 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A Venmo!</span></mark></strong></p><p class="button-wrapper" data-attrs="{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://account.venmo.com/u/Wonkette&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Venmo Wonkette all the $$$!&quot;,&quot;action&quot;:null,&quot;class&quot;:&quot;button-wrapper&quot;}" data-component-name="ButtonCreateButton"><a class="button primary button-wrapper" href="https://account.venmo.com/u/Wonkette"><span>Venmo Wonkette all the $$$!</span></a></p><p><strong><span data-color="#9900ff" style="color: rgb(153, 0, 255);">Please NEVER send us money if you would have to go without! We love you.</span></strong></p></div><p>Come on in, it&#8217;s TABS TIME. </p><p>Amy Acton/Vivek Ramaswamy fallout, day three! JD Vance defends Ramaswamy&#8217;s &#8220;controversial&#8221; ad &#8220;featuring his opponent&#8217;s mother&#8221;: &#8220;I have to admit I&#8217;m a little bit disgusted when I see Republicans who are whining more about that ad than they are about what the Democrats want to do.&#8221; This is easier to do when the reporters asking the question &#8212; or even Sherrod Brown excoriating it! &#8212; are too afraid it would be <em>uncomfortable</em> to say &#8220;his opponent&#8217;s mother, who sided with her husband after he raped Amy from the time she was 9 until she was 12 years old.&#8221; Instead it&#8217;s just like it&#8217;s &#8220;controversial&#8221; because someone mentioned yo mamma. They are not the same! <a href="https://www.joemygod.com/2026/10/vance-defends-ramaswamys-attack-on-acton-video/">(Joe. My. God.) </a>There&#8217;s still some Republicans <em>really</em> disgusted by this. I&#8217;m curious as to whether (when) they&#8217;ll come slinking back. If he loses, they probably won&#8217;t! If he doesn&#8217;t, well. <a href="https://open.substack.com/pub/laurabassett/p/an-ad-so-repulsive-it-could-drag?r=elvx&amp;utm_campaign=post&amp;utm_medium=email">(Laura Bassett) </a>Also, for and from the record, this is good to know: &#8220;In the video, Arthur <a href="https://substack.com/redirect/8eff51c8-b57a-4603-ae79-74e380afd47d?j=eyJ1IjoiZWx2eCJ9.9ZGYcJcsMudyrcE84PXT1IFD94NvH_H6tVxeD_VOnTE">claims</a> her daughter lied about growing up homeless and living in a tent. Acton, pointing to the record, <a href="https://substack.com/redirect/8adfe6ec-180b-4835-b4c6-458bcd95495d?j=eyJ1IjoiZWx2eCJ9.9ZGYcJcsMudyrcE84PXT1IFD94NvH_H6tVxeD_VOnTE">told WOSU</a> that her mother was &#8216;eventually arrested, the court documents show, from the tent.&#8217;&#8221; Also, pumping-and-dumping a stock? Used to be, and may someday again be, a crime! <a href="https://statuskuo.substack.com/p/the-gop-projection-is-getting-truly?r=elvx&amp;utm_campaign=post&amp;utm_medium=email">(Status Kuo) </a></p><p>This is a crime: If the media runs paid ads showing the true fact that a grand jury did a report on Ron DeSantis and his wife stealing money for poor people and sending it to the Republican Party instead, the Republican Party says the media will be criminally charged. <a href="http://rmb.reuters.com/rmd/rss/item/tag:reuters.com,2026:newsml_MT1USDAYNETFL92329427007?channel=qqn076&amp;giftCode=9c1005ea05aaacfae0e847fcdd19323927d956aa9e9455ae20233bf5e43bafa3">(Gift link Miami Herald)  </a></p><p>This is not a crime: Alina Habba getting paid $50 million by a Venezuelan billionaire felon to fetch him a pardon <em>while she was working at the Department of Justice.</em> <a href="https://www.nytimes.com/2026/10/20/us/politics/julio-herrera-pardon-alina-habba.html?unlocked_article_code=1.KVE.CRZR.Mc1tlhwESZ78&amp;smid=url-share">(Gift link New York Times) </a>Presumably &#8212; I&#8217;m just wild guessing! &#8212; Ric Grenell leaked this story to the <em>New York Times,</em> the only crime in all the land. <a href="https://www.thedailybeast.com/maga-blood-feud-between-richard-grenell-and-alina-habba-takes-new-twist-after-text-to-turhan-mildon-leaks">(Daily Beast) </a></p><p>Not a single shred of evidence, JD, that Trump <em>miiiiiight somehow</em> be on the take? That&#8217;s good enough for me! This rudey though continues to be rude with all his &#8220;facts&#8221; and &#8220;receipts.&#8221; (Chris Murphy should have had a blogger do it, he didn&#8217;t even touch on all the pay-to-pardons, Jared Kushner&#8217;s &#8220;business,&#8221; or the taxpayer funds going straight to his boys&#8217; new &#8220;defense&#8221; companies.) <a href="https://open.substack.com/pub/chrismurphyct/p/jd-vance-says-he-hasnt-seen-evidence?r=elvx&amp;utm_campaign=post&amp;utm_medium=email">(Chris Murphy)</a></p><p>Israel Kavanaugh-stopped Brad Lander for the crime of helping Palestinian harvest their olives (not a crime). <a href="https://www.haaretz.com/west-bank/2026-10-21/ty-article/.premium/democratic-congressional-candidate-brad-lander-detained-in-west-bank-group-says/000001a1-5de3-da49-abe9-5ffb7b750000">(Haaretz) </a></p><p>Is it a crime if ICE chases down a citizen to hit him their car and then lies about it? Is it a lie or is the video showing they lied &#8220;raising questions&#8221;? <a href="https://www.nytimes.com/2026/10/20/us/ice-detain-citizen-california-video-ricardo-gonzalez.html?unlocked_article_code=1.KVE.1Hlv.R-bb2HH3QeL9&amp;smid=bs-share">(Gift link New York Times) </a></p><p>Our Liz on the criminal judge doing the crime of &#8220;mean to Trump&#8221; when he&#8217;s just trying to dump asbestos and lead from the East Wing all over some dumb golf course, what could be wrong with that? (I am actually quite curious about what happens if you go golfing on asbestos sand traps.)  <a href="https://open.substack.com/pub/aaronrupar/p/trump-east-potomac-golf-course?r=elvx&amp;utm_campaign=post&amp;utm_medium=email">(Public Notice) </a></p><p>Hope everybody&#8217;s ready to rugged-individual their next hurricane! <a href="https://www.politico.com/news/2026/10/20/fema-states-disasters-exclusive-energy-environment-01128120">(Politico) </a></p><p>Sounds like a LIBERAL UNELECTED JUDGE IN A ROBE wants to just WILLY NILLY FIND PEOPLE INNOCENT and then TAKE OVER THE PROSECUTOR&#8217;S OFFICE. Lol :) <a href="https://boltsmag.org/prosecutor-ouachita-parish-2026/">(The indispensable Bolts mag) </a></p><p>I want to go to there. The Danes and the feeling of &#8220;tryg.&#8221; <a href="https://psyche.co/ideas/what-life-in-denmark-shows-about-the-power-of-emotional-safety?position=6&amp;category=fascinating_stories&amp;scheduled_corpus_item_id=024ffb0f-a18d-49b8-8135-97fd4b5e37a2&amp;url=https://psyche.co/ideas/what-life-in-denmark-shows-about-the-power-of-emotional-safety">(Psyche) </a>Is there crime there? I looked it up, and pretty much no! <a href="https://www.macrotrends.net/global-metrics/countries/dnk/denmark/crime-rate-statistics">(Macrotrends)</a></p><div id="youtube2-zprRZ2wFQD4" class="youtube-wrap" data-attrs="{&quot;videoId&quot;:&quot;zprRZ2wFQD4&quot;,&quot;startTime&quot;:null,&quot;endTime&quot;:null}" data-component-name="Youtube2ToDOM"><div class="youtube-inner"><iframe src="https://www.youtube-nocookie.com/embed/zprRZ2wFQD4?rel=0&amp;autoplay=0&amp;showinfo=0&amp;enablejsapi=0" frameborder="0" loading="lazy" gesture="media" allow="autoplay; fullscreen" allowautoplay="true" allowfullscreen="true" width="728" height="409"></iframe></div></div><div><hr></div><p><strong><span data-color="#0000ff" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 255);">Bookshop.org is the anti-Amazon, a certified B-corp partnering with local bookstores. 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Tabs, Wed., Oct. 21, 2026]]></title><description><![CDATA[Morning news roundup!]]></description><link>https://www.wonkette.com/p/pretty-cold-welcome-tabs-wed-oct</link><guid isPermaLink="false">https://www.wonkette.com/p/pretty-cold-welcome-tabs-wed-oct</guid><dc:creator><![CDATA[Rebecca Schoenkopf]]></dc:creator><pubDate>Wed, 21 Oct 2026 11:03:47 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/bea14993-ea2d-4bd9-bbc8-cb1f1d23c224_384x216.gif" length="0" type="image/jpeg"/><content:encoded><![CDATA[<div class="captioned-image-container"><figure><div class="image-link image2" data-component-name="Image2ToDOM"><div class="image2-inset"><picture><source type="image/webp" srcset="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!FfN3!,w_424,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_lossy/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fe105a3c5-24f5-464d-bde2-464bd01f3b31_384x216.gif 424w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!FfN3!,w_848,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_lossy/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fe105a3c5-24f5-464d-bde2-464bd01f3b31_384x216.gif 848w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!FfN3!,w_1272,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_lossy/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fe105a3c5-24f5-464d-bde2-464bd01f3b31_384x216.gif 1272w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!FfN3!,w_1456,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_lossy/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fe105a3c5-24f5-464d-bde2-464bd01f3b31_384x216.gif 1456w" sizes="100vw"><img src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!FfN3!,w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_lossy/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fe105a3c5-24f5-464d-bde2-464bd01f3b31_384x216.gif" width="628" height="353.25" data-attrs="{&quot;src&quot;:&quot;https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/e105a3c5-24f5-464d-bde2-464bd01f3b31_384x216.gif&quot;,&quot;srcNoWatermark&quot;:null,&quot;fullscreen&quot;:null,&quot;imageSize&quot;:null,&quot;height&quot;:216,&quot;width&quot;:384,&quot;resizeWidth&quot;:628,&quot;bytes&quot;:9203730,&quot;alt&quot;:null,&quot;title&quot;:null,&quot;type&quot;:&quot;image/gif&quot;,&quot;href&quot;:null,&quot;belowTheFold&quot;:false,&quot;topImage&quot;:true,&quot;internalRedirect&quot;:&quot;https://www.wonkette.com/i/221315893?img=https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fe105a3c5-24f5-464d-bde2-464bd01f3b31_384x216.gif&quot;,&quot;isProcessing&quot;:false,&quot;align&quot;:null,&quot;offset&quot;:false}" class="sizing-normal" alt="" srcset="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!FfN3!,w_424,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_lossy/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fe105a3c5-24f5-464d-bde2-464bd01f3b31_384x216.gif 424w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!FfN3!,w_848,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_lossy/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fe105a3c5-24f5-464d-bde2-464bd01f3b31_384x216.gif 848w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!FfN3!,w_1272,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_lossy/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fe105a3c5-24f5-464d-bde2-464bd01f3b31_384x216.gif 1272w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!FfN3!,w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_lossy/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fe105a3c5-24f5-464d-bde2-464bd01f3b31_384x216.gif 1456w" sizes="100vw" fetchpriority="high"></picture><div></div></div></div><figcaption class="image-caption">Tabs gif by your friend Martini Glambassador! </figcaption></figure></div><div class="callout-block" data-callout="true"><p><strong><mark data-color="rgb(207, 226, 243)" style="background-color: rgb(207, 226, 243); color: rgb(0, 0, 0);"><span data-color="#0000ff" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 255);">Good morning, terrible ones! 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We love you.</span></strong></p></div><p>Now we shall tabs.</p><p>Elon Musk in the library with the Starlink slowdown. <a href="https://www.wsj.com/world/ukraine-starlink-elon-musk-trump-dbc49193?st=nC7Rqi&amp;reflink=desktopwebshare_permalink">(Gift link Wall Street Journal) </a></p><p>Followup on the <a href="https://www.wonkette.com/p/ramaswamy-drops-holy-sht-ad-featuring">YIKES Ramaswamy (?) ad</a> featuring Dr. Amy Acton&#8217;s mother, who married Acton&#8217;s molester and stood by him over her own children, including Acton&#8217;s mom&#8217;s own legal troubles and that the stepfather&#8217;s name was, I am not kidding, CLEDITH. <a href="https://www.nationalreview.com/news/amy-actons-mom-claims-candidate-lied-about-childhood-in-attack-ad-despite-extensive-record-of-abuse/">(National Review) </a>There was a while yesterday where we realized Robyn&#8217;s (previous link) might have been incorrect, as nobody was sure who made the ad, so we corrected. Well, someone remind me to correct the correction because Vivek&#8217;s campaign made it and they&#8217;re going to spend $4 million running it. <a href="https://www.axios.com/2026/10/21/ramaswamy-ad-acton-mother-ohio">(Axios) </a></p><p>So we&#8217;re all waiting on Mississippi to be the next Georgia, right? It&#8217;ll never happen until it does! <a href="https://apnews.com/article/democrats-senate-mississippi-south-ad-6cd108dc71751f0d47d9e17c5ed5a01b">(AP) </a></p><p>No Kings wants to know exactly why Mark Zuckerberg&#8217;s &#8220;Meta&#8221; removed their page from Instagram right in the middle of last weekend&#8217;s rallies, and the answers to a whole lot more very pertinent questions! <a href="https://static1.squarespace.com/static/6810f35a92c2904fa082829a/t/6ad695dfd05b752bba953165/1792447967524/No+Kings+Coalition+Letter+to+Meta.pdf">(Letter) </a></p><p><a href="https://www.wonkette.com/p/oh-no-did-abdul-el-sayed-do-an-incivility">Tommy Peepee&#8217;s</a> dad got $250,000 from the Mike Rogers campaign for &#8220;influencer marketing,&#8221; do you think he gave his son a cut? <a href="https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2026/oct/20/abdul-el-sayed-heckler?CMP=Share_iOSApp_Other">(The Guardian)</a></p><p></p><div class="bluesky-wrap outer" style="height: auto; display: flex; justify-content: center; margin-bottom: 24px;" data-attrs="{&quot;postId&quot;:&quot;3myclvhr2f223&quot;,&quot;authorDid&quot;:&quot;did:plc:lrlmw63dqlhqacs6pbu6ffzn&quot;,&quot;authorName&quot;:&quot;Abdul El-Sayed&quot;,&quot;authorHandle&quot;:&quot;abdulelsayed.bsky.social&quot;,&quot;authorAvatarUrl&quot;:&quot;https://cdn.bsky.app/img/avatar/plain/did:plc:lrlmw63dqlhqacs6pbu6ffzn/bafkreie344x356dukzvwwnuopfurisxdau5pszzjjfz4dsomn5vktoadva&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;&#8220;He's gunna go up to the Upper Peninsula and get a pretty cold welcome.&#8221;\n\nAnd the UP said&#8230;&quot;,&quot;createdAt&quot;:&quot;2026-10-20T12:06:45.145Z&quot;,&quot;uri&quot;:&quot;at://did:plc:lrlmw63dqlhqacs6pbu6ffzn/app.bsky.feed.post/3myclvhr2f223&quot;,&quot;imageUrls&quot;:[&quot;https://video.bsky.app/watch/did%3Aplc%3Alrlmw63dqlhqacs6pbu6ffzn/bafkreids3mw3yjd24toqyae7xpby2qcrev3kr6tsg7yn53kqnb4nhg545y/thumbnail.jpg&quot;]}" data-component-name="BlueskyCreateBlueskyEmbed"><iframe id="bluesky-3myclvhr2f223" data-bluesky-id="919755731617177" src="https://embed.bsky.app/embed/did:plc:lrlmw63dqlhqacs6pbu6ffzn/app.bsky.feed.post/3myclvhr2f223?id=919755731617177" width="100%" style="display: block; flex-grow: 1; max-width: 600px;" frameborder="0" scrolling="no"></iframe></div><p></p><p>Americans DO love them some Barack Obama. They DO! <a href="https://paulwaldman.substack.com/p/everybody-loves-barack?r=elvx&amp;utm_campaign=post&amp;utm_medium=email">(Paul Waldman)</a></p><p>Madiba K. Dennie read the new Alito book, he thinks we should re-litigate what &#8220;The Founders&#8221; wanted based on cletus safaris to colonial taverns. <a href="https://ballsandstrikes.org/legal-culture/alito-book-history-of-originalism/">(Balls and Strikes) </a></p><p>Elon Musk could save about $2.5 billion on capital gains taxes if he &#8220;donates&#8221; a SpaceX share &#8212; for which he paid nothing &#8212; to kids with Trump Accounts. Also I&#8217;m pretty sure Elon Musk doesn&#8217;t pay capital gains taxes. <a href="https://open.substack.com/pub/popularinformation/p/beware-of-ai-billionaires-bearing?r=elvx&amp;utm_campaign=post&amp;utm_medium=email">(Popular Info) </a></p><p>I don&#8217;t know, is a $2 trillion deficit in one year a lot? <a href="https://www.crfb.org/blogs/us-ran-2-trillion-deficit-last-year-we-estimate">(Committee for a Responsible Federal Budget) </a></p><p>I ain&#8217;t watching this shit, this paragraph is enough for me. </p><blockquote><p>As we&#8217;ll see, Daniel Perry conducted searches on killing protesters. He boasted to acquaintances about how he hoped to kill protesters. He fantasized about killing protesters. He debated people online about when killing protesters would be justified. And then he killed a protester.</p></blockquote><p>And then Greg Abbott pardoned him. <a href="https://radleybalko.substack.com/p/her-fiance-and-caretaker-was-murdered?r=elvx&amp;utm_campaign=post-expanded-share&amp;utm_medium=web">(Radley Balko)</a></p><p>Did Lindsey Graham and James Clyburn do some bribe-accepting? <a href="https://www.propublica.org/article/navatek-lindsey-graham-jim-clyburn-fbi-anti-corruption-bribery">(Pro Publica) </a></p><p>Three new polls show Americans trust Democrats more on issues pertaining to trans friends, and also: </p><blockquote><p>Democratic voters were the most likely group to rank transgender issues a top issue, meaning many of those who did are likely voting to protect transgender rights, not to restrict those rights. </p></blockquote><p>And that Navigator poll even listed climate change, which I am constantly having to ask the pollsters who call me to put back on their list because it&#8217;s not there anymore! <a href="https://open.substack.com/pub/erininthemorn/p/trio-of-polls-spell-disaster-for?r=elvx&amp;utm_campaign=post-expanded-share&amp;utm_medium=web">(Erin in the Morning) </a></p><p>I had to stop reading Paulette Cooper&#8217;s account of stowing away on a cruiseship so I could rush back here and tell you all that the lechy doctor trying to bone down on her is just like Doc from <em>The Love Boat</em>! Have you guys watched that in the past 40 years? HE IS AWFUL and should GO TO JAIL! <a href="https://www.oceanliner.org/stow_away.htm">(Ocean Liner Museum) </a></p><p>Pope Leo&#8217;s new Denver archbishop kindly requests Tucker Carlson&#8217;s exorcist shut his demon hole. <a href="https://open.substack.com/pub/lettersfromleo/p/pope-leo-xivs-new-denver-archbishop-benches-magas-favorite-exorcist?r=elvx&amp;utm_campaign=post&amp;utm_medium=email">(Letters From Leo)</a></p><p>Haunted Airbnbs! Haunted Airbnbs! <a href="https://matadornetwork.com/read/haunted-airbnbs/?_bhlid=ffd709239e682b87d82482ff8b86f7d666cf0bfd">(Matador Network)</a> </p><div><hr></div><p><strong><span data-color="#0000ff" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 255);">Bookshop.org is the anti-Amazon, a certified B-corp partnering with local bookstores. Here&#8217;s our </span><a href="https://bookshop.org/shop/wonkette"><mark data-color="rgb(0, 255, 255)" style="background-color: rgb(0, 255, 255); color: rgb(0, 0, 0);"><span data-color="#0000ff" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 255);">Bookshop affiliate link,</span></mark></a><span data-color="#0000ff" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 255);"> when you buy books, Wonkette gets </span></strong><em><strong><span data-color="#0000ff" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 255);">10 percent. </span></strong></em><strong><span data-color="#0000ff" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 255);">You can search any old book from that page and it will count. Buy all the books!</span></strong></p><p style="text-align: center;"><strong><span data-color="#9900ff" style="color: rgb(153, 0, 255);">Have you subscribed to Wonkette today?</span></strong></p><p class="button-wrapper" data-attrs="{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://www.wonkette.com/subscribe?&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Subscribe now&quot;,&quot;action&quot;:null,&quot;class&quot;:null}" data-component-name="ButtonCreateButton"><a class="button primary" href="https://www.wonkette.com/subscribe?"><span>Subscribe now</span></a></p><p style="text-align: center;"><strong><span data-color="#ff00ff" style="color: rgb(255, 0, 255);">It would be really helpful if you sent Wonkette to some friends!</span></strong></p><p class="button-wrapper" data-attrs="{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://www.wonkette.com/p/bad-boys-bad-boys-tabs-thurs-april?utm_source=substack&amp;utm_medium=email&amp;utm_content=share&amp;action=share&amp;token=eyJ1c2VyX2lkIjo2ODE1NDksInBvc3RfaWQiOjE5Mjg1NjY0MywiaWF0IjoxNzc1MTQ3NDQxLCJleHAiOjE3Nzc3Mzk0NDEsImlzcyI6InB1Yi0xNzgzMzY3Iiwic3ViIjoicG9zdC1yZWFjdGlvbiJ9.ZPkGYsUp53WXkDyTd9dzxEvUbzBhwg7T5b51FiRC6ks&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Share&quot;,&quot;action&quot;:null,&quot;class&quot;:&quot;button-wrapper&quot;}" data-component-name="ButtonCreateButton"><a class="button primary button-wrapper" href="https://www.wonkette.com/p/bad-boys-bad-boys-tabs-thurs-april?utm_source=substack&amp;utm_medium=email&amp;utm_content=share&amp;action=share&amp;token=eyJ1c2VyX2lkIjo2ODE1NDksInBvc3RfaWQiOjE5Mjg1NjY0MywiaWF0IjoxNzc1MTQ3NDQxLCJleHAiOjE3Nzc3Mzk0NDEsImlzcyI6InB1Yi0xNzgzMzY3Iiwic3ViIjoicG9zdC1yZWFjdGlvbiJ9.ZPkGYsUp53WXkDyTd9dzxEvUbzBhwg7T5b51FiRC6ks"><span>Share</span></a></p>]]></content:encoded></item><item><title><![CDATA[Aid And Comfort. Tabs, Mon., Oct. 19, 2026]]></title><description><![CDATA[Monday, let&#8217;s do this.]]></description><link>https://www.wonkette.com/p/aid-and-comfort-tabs-mon-oct-19-2026</link><guid isPermaLink="false">https://www.wonkette.com/p/aid-and-comfort-tabs-mon-oct-19-2026</guid><dc:creator><![CDATA[Evan Hurst]]></dc:creator><pubDate>Mon, 19 Oct 2026 11:03:41 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!uvhy!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Ff885ec8f-eeb1-4f7b-8394-551f8a06f025_400x388.gif" length="0" type="image/jpeg"/><content:encoded><![CDATA[<div class="captioned-image-container"><figure><a class="image-link image2 is-viewable-img" target="_blank" href="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!uvhy!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Ff885ec8f-eeb1-4f7b-8394-551f8a06f025_400x388.gif" data-component-name="Image2ToDOM"><div class="image2-inset"><picture><source type="image/webp" srcset="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!uvhy!,w_424,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_lossy/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Ff885ec8f-eeb1-4f7b-8394-551f8a06f025_400x388.gif 424w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!uvhy!,w_848,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_lossy/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Ff885ec8f-eeb1-4f7b-8394-551f8a06f025_400x388.gif 848w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!uvhy!,w_1272,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_lossy/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Ff885ec8f-eeb1-4f7b-8394-551f8a06f025_400x388.gif 1272w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!uvhy!,w_1456,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_lossy/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Ff885ec8f-eeb1-4f7b-8394-551f8a06f025_400x388.gif 1456w" sizes="100vw"><img src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!uvhy!,w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_lossy/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Ff885ec8f-eeb1-4f7b-8394-551f8a06f025_400x388.gif" width="400" height="388" data-attrs="{&quot;src&quot;:&quot;https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/f885ec8f-eeb1-4f7b-8394-551f8a06f025_400x388.gif&quot;,&quot;srcNoWatermark&quot;:null,&quot;fullscreen&quot;:null,&quot;imageSize&quot;:null,&quot;height&quot;:388,&quot;width&quot;:400,&quot;resizeWidth&quot;:null,&quot;bytes&quot;:8898612,&quot;alt&quot;:null,&quot;title&quot;:null,&quot;type&quot;:&quot;image/gif&quot;,&quot;href&quot;:null,&quot;belowTheFold&quot;:false,&quot;topImage&quot;:true,&quot;internalRedirect&quot;:&quot;https://www.wonkette.com/i/220944093?img=https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Ff885ec8f-eeb1-4f7b-8394-551f8a06f025_400x388.gif&quot;,&quot;isProcessing&quot;:false,&quot;align&quot;:null,&quot;offset&quot;:false}" class="sizing-normal" alt="" srcset="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!uvhy!,w_424,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_lossy/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Ff885ec8f-eeb1-4f7b-8394-551f8a06f025_400x388.gif 424w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!uvhy!,w_848,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_lossy/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Ff885ec8f-eeb1-4f7b-8394-551f8a06f025_400x388.gif 848w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!uvhy!,w_1272,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_lossy/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Ff885ec8f-eeb1-4f7b-8394-551f8a06f025_400x388.gif 1272w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!uvhy!,w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_lossy/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Ff885ec8f-eeb1-4f7b-8394-551f8a06f025_400x388.gif 1456w" sizes="100vw" fetchpriority="high"></picture><div class="image-link-expand"><div class="pencraft pc-display-flex pc-gap-8 pc-reset"><button tabindex="0" type="button" class="pencraft pc-reset pencraft icon-container restack-image buttonBase-GK1x3M"><svg aria-hidden="true" width="20" height="20" viewBox="0 0 20 20" fill="none" stroke-width="1.5" stroke="var(--color-fg-primary)" stroke-linecap="round" stroke-linejoin="round" xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" class="icon-noB79L"><g><path d="M2.53001 7.81595C3.49179 4.73911 6.43281 2.5 9.91173 2.5C13.1684 2.5 15.9537 4.46214 17.0852 7.23684L17.6179 8.67647M17.6179 8.67647L18.5002 4.26471M17.6179 8.67647L13.6473 6.91176M17.4995 12.1841C16.5378 15.2609 13.5967 17.5 10.1178 17.5C6.86118 17.5 4.07589 15.5379 2.94432 12.7632L2.41165 11.3235M2.41165 11.3235L1.5293 15.7353M2.41165 11.3235L6.38224 13.0882"></path></g></svg></button><button tabindex="0" type="button" class="pencraft pc-reset pencraft icon-container view-image buttonBase-GK1x3M"><svg xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" width="20" height="20" viewBox="0 0 24 24" fill="none" stroke="currentColor" stroke-width="2" stroke-linecap="round" stroke-linejoin="round" class="lucide lucide-maximize2 lucide-maximize-2 icon-noB79L"><polyline points="15 3 21 3 21 9"></polyline><polyline points="9 21 3 21 3 15"></polyline><line x1="21" x2="14" y1="3" y2="10"></line><line x1="3" x2="10" y1="21" y2="14"></line></svg></button></div></div></div></a><figcaption class="image-caption">Tabs gifs by Martini Glambassador!</figcaption></figure></div><p>Monday, let&#8217;s do this. </p><p>Darline Graham guesses she doesn&#8217;t think it&#8217;s cool for Donald Trump to be canceling the Russian sanctions bill named after her dead brother in order that he might better serve his true master. [<a href="https://www.nytimes.com/2026/10/17/us/politics/graham-trump-russia-sanctions-law.html?unlocked_article_code=1.JlE.IAq3.EfERQME1HZLZ&amp;smid=url-share">New York Times</a> / <a href="https://www.nytimes.com/2026/10/16/us/politics/trump-order-russia-sanctions.html?smid=nytcore-ios-share">New York Times</a>]</p><p>The Kremlin is creaming over their American traitor asset doing what they told him to do, though. [<a href="https://www.joemygod.com/2026/10/kremlin-hails-lifting-of-russia-sanctions-as-historic/">JoeMyGod</a>]</p><p>Don&#8217;t always agree with this guy, but on this one he&#8217;s got it right:</p><div class="bluesky-wrap outer" style="height: auto; display: flex; justify-content: center; margin-bottom: 24px;" data-attrs="{&quot;postId&quot;:&quot;3my6mqvmims2b&quot;,&quot;authorDid&quot;:&quot;did:plc:kbmf4lv4o6uvuvrfzpw2jbhj&quot;,&quot;authorName&quot;:&quot;Tom Nichols&quot;,&quot;authorHandle&quot;:&quot;radiofreetom.bsky.social&quot;,&quot;authorAvatarUrl&quot;:&quot;https://cdn.bsky.app/img/avatar/plain/did:plc:kbmf4lv4o6uvuvrfzpw2jbhj/bafkreidcdmyrkju4y4o77icq5i3ra6jrhaimlulqau22xwdljr5phopmaq&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Humiliating and dangerous: Trump has now finally just made America an ally of the Kremlin and is aiding Putin in his war against an American friend and partner. Shameful betrayal of a US friend, and pathetic submission to a US enemy.\n\nwww.theatlantic.com/ideas/2026/1...&quot;,&quot;createdAt&quot;:&quot;2026-10-18T22:11:26.695Z&quot;,&quot;uri&quot;:&quot;at://did:plc:kbmf4lv4o6uvuvrfzpw2jbhj/app.bsky.feed.post/3my6mqvmims2b&quot;,&quot;imageUrls&quot;:[]}" data-component-name="BlueskyCreateBlueskyEmbed"><iframe id="bluesky-3my6mqvmims2b" data-bluesky-id="047594362903066734" src="https://embed.bsky.app/embed/did:plc:kbmf4lv4o6uvuvrfzpw2jbhj/app.bsky.feed.post/3my6mqvmims2b?id=047594362903066734" width="100%" style="display: block; flex-grow: 1; max-width: 600px;" frameborder="0" scrolling="no"></iframe></div><p>Humiliating. </p><p>Also not often that Wonkette approvingly links to the <em>National Review</em>, but here&#8217;s Wonkette doing just that, on this very subject. [<a href="https://www.nationalreview.com/2026/10/congress-must-investigate-trumps-aid-and-comfort-to-putin/">National Review</a>]</p><p>Marco Rubio&#8217;s excuses for Trump&#8217;s latest traitor behavior leave a fuck of a lot to be desired, also he is full of shit and has no control here. [<a href="https://www.reuters.com/world/us/rubio-says-trump-take-up-60-days-weigh-russia-sanctions-2026-10-18/">Reuters</a>]</p><p>Trump&#8217;s own excuses for what he&#8217;s done are basically &#8220;I am Putin&#8217;s bitch, I am powerless against him, why can&#8217;t you see how awesome that is?&#8221; [<a href="https://truthsocial.com/@realDonaldTrump/posts/117463828588421761">Truth Social</a>]</p><p>Tom Homan says the fascist Trump regime has a &#8220;strong case&#8221; against Ilhan Omar, bullfuckingshit you mush-mouthed piece of garbage. [<a href="https://thehill.com/homenews/administration/6156445-homan-omar-immigration-fraud-probe/">The Hill</a>]</p><p>Between going to football games and losing wars this weekend, Secretary Shitfaced said his murderous transmogrification of the US military should win the Nobel Peace Prize EVERY year. [<a href="https://www.joemygod.com/2026/10/hegseth-us-military-should-win-nobel-peace-prize/">JoeMyGod</a>]</p><p>Speaking of losing wars, JD Vance says the US has &#8220;decisively won&#8221; the war in Iran in many ways, but allowed that &#8220;the enemy gets a vote here, and they have responded in certain ways,&#8221; like we guess for instance their contention that actually they beat the shit out of Secretary Shitfaced on the first day. Which would seem to be accurate. [<a href="https://thehill.com/homenews/administration/6156378-vance-claims-us-won-iran-war/">The Hill</a>]</p><p>Hahahaha, the knives are OUT. Amid rumors that Donald Trump has been thinking of firing Susie Wiles, it was apparently she who laid the trap for Katie Zacharia to humiliate herself and get fired. It&#8217;s just funny that the &#8220;trap&#8221; was &#8220;book press secretary on the program of Donald Trump&#8217;s personal errand boy and fluffer Sean Hannity.&#8221; That stumped her! [<a href="https://www.politico.com/news/2026/10/16/susie-wiles-helped-set-up-fox-interview-ahead-of-press-secretarys-exit-01125176">Politico</a>]</p><div><hr></div><div class="subscription-widget-wrap-editor" data-attrs="{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://www.wonkette.com/subscribe?&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Subscribe&quot;,&quot;language&quot;:&quot;en&quot;}" data-component-name="SubscribeWidgetToDOM"><div class="subscription-widget show-subscribe"><div class="preamble"><p class="cta-caption">Becoming a paid subscriber is a trap! OR IS IT? (It is not.)</p></div><form class="subscription-widget-subscribe"><input type="email" class="email-input" name="email" placeholder="Type your email&#8230;" tabindex="-1"><input type="submit" class="button primary" value="Subscribe"><div class="fake-input-wrapper"><div class="fake-input"></div><div class="fake-button"></div></div></form></div></div><div><hr></div><p>Meanwhile, in the saga of who turned off Ukraine&#8217;s Starlink &#8212; or severely slowed it down &#8212; new reporting suggests Elon Musk brought the idea directly to Trump. They all should be in The Hague. And Rubio. And Pete Hegseth. All. The next Democratic president should really campaign on the US joining and ratifying the ICC, lke immediately. [<a href="https://www.telegraph.co.uk/world-news/2026/10/16/musk-approached-trump-slow-down-starlink-help-ukraine/">Telegraph</a>]</p><p>In related whiny ass bitch stories about Elon Musk, he is very upset with Delta Airlines for not buying wifi from his Starlink. [<a href="https://www.nytimes.com/2026/10/09/business/elon-musk-delta-starlink-wifi.html?unlocked_article_code=1.JlE.kqbE.2SeeUSyEQFzH&amp;smid=url-share">New York Times</a>]</p><p>Hey, by the way GO SEE <em>MUSK</em>. We have heard it is the funniest movie of the year! And he really really really doesn&#8217;t want you to go see it. Y&#8217;all hear how TikTok perma-banned the promotional account for the film? [<a href="https://www.hollywoodreporter.com/news/politics-news/musk-movie-tiktok-banned-theaters-showtimes-1236734308/">Hollywood Reporter</a>]</p><p>Here&#8217;s the trailer. Comedy Time!</p><div id="youtube2-FFTf1lzcs28" class="youtube-wrap" data-attrs="{&quot;videoId&quot;:&quot;FFTf1lzcs28&quot;,&quot;startTime&quot;:null,&quot;endTime&quot;:null}" data-component-name="Youtube2ToDOM"><div class="youtube-inner"><iframe src="https://www.youtube-nocookie.com/embed/FFTf1lzcs28?rel=0&amp;autoplay=0&amp;showinfo=0&amp;enablejsapi=0" frameborder="0" loading="lazy" gesture="media" allow="autoplay; fullscreen" allowautoplay="true" allowfullscreen="true" width="728" height="409"></iframe></div></div><p>For another <em>big</em> movie rec, here is a series of documentaries from the 1970s called <em>The Battle Of Chile</em>, by Patricio Guzm&#225;n. You may be familiar, as they started coming out in 1975 (there&#8217;s three of them), and they chronicle what really happened as the socialist government of Salvador Allende and the will of the people were toppled by a US-backed fascist/terrorist coup. Of course, then came the military dictatorship of Pinochet. It&#8217;s a good documentary for <em>right now</em>, to examine the lengths the far right does, always has, and will go to, in order to protect fascist power. How there is nothing new under the sun for what American fascists support, at home and abroad. How perpetually interesting it is that Donald Trump&#8217;s chief &#8220;diplomat&#8221; is a Latino guy who is very much cut from the same cloth as the US-backed Latin American fascists who have been savaging and raping and pillaging that part of the world for decades, paid and trained by the US. How MAGA fascists are just the same, and <em>sound</em> just the same, no matter what country they&#8217;re in, across generations and oceans and languages. It&#8217;s like Mad Libs. How today&#8217;s crop of fascists in the US is likely to employ similar tactics to what they did in Chile if/when a real leader like Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez or Jon Ossoff or Abdul El-Sayed were to come to power in the United States, the same things they did to Allende. How they&#8217;re most desperate when they&#8217;re losing. </p><p>Available on a service called <a href="https://www.ovid.tv/">OVID.tv,</a> you can do a free trial. Here is the trailer for the first part:</p><div id="youtube2-JcnyCOPhdMY" class="youtube-wrap" data-attrs="{&quot;videoId&quot;:&quot;JcnyCOPhdMY&quot;,&quot;startTime&quot;:null,&quot;endTime&quot;:null}" data-component-name="Youtube2ToDOM"><div class="youtube-inner"><iframe src="https://www.youtube-nocookie.com/embed/JcnyCOPhdMY?rel=0&amp;autoplay=0&amp;showinfo=0&amp;enablejsapi=0" frameborder="0" loading="lazy" gesture="media" allow="autoplay; fullscreen" allowautoplay="true" allowfullscreen="true" width="728" height="409"></iframe></div></div><p>More stories sometime, if we want to publish some, maybe we do, maybe we don&#8217;t, hey maybe you should write some stories.</p><p><strong><span>Want to read more Evan than just what&#8217;s at Wonkette? </span><a href="https://evanhurst.substack.com/p/trump-convicted-of-crimes-for-first">Visit The Moral High Ground and subscribe to it!</a></strong></p><p><strong><span>Follow me on </span><a href="https://www.instagram.com/evanjosephhurst/?hl=en">Instagram!</a></strong></p><p><strong><span>Subscribe to me on </span><a href="https://www.youtube.com/@evanjosephhurst">YouTube!</a></strong></p><p><strong><span>And on </span><a href="https://bsky.app/profile/evanhurst.substack.com">BlueSky!</a></strong></p><p><strong><span>And on </span><a href="https://www.facebook.com/evan.hurst.96/">Facebook!</a></strong></p><p><strong><a href="https://linktr.ee/evanhurst?fbclid=IwY2xjawGNDipleHRuA2FlbQIxMAABHa4G2KsMTL9CLg2ZsuiGpYxRN9SVfYV05iRIdQcgxhpZv9CrEtB7TYHVaA_aem_s_upUbpZWveC526N4fdjHw">Here, a LinkTree!</a></strong></p><p class="button-wrapper" data-attrs="{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://www.wonkette.com/p/aid-and-comfort-tabs-mon-oct-19-2026?utm_source=substack&utm_medium=email&utm_content=share&action=share&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Share&quot;,&quot;action&quot;:null,&quot;class&quot;:null}" data-component-name="ButtonCreateButton"><a class="button primary" 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Schoenkopf]]></dc:creator><pubDate>Fri, 16 Oct 2026 11:01:21 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/06fd2b86-68db-4166-8701-769f56fd3560_280x272.gif" length="0" type="image/jpeg"/><content:encoded><![CDATA[<div class="captioned-image-container"><figure><a class="image-link image2 is-viewable-img" target="_blank" href="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!dFHg!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fb8b7c6b6-014a-468c-b3c8-0f20f774df24_280x272.gif" data-component-name="Image2ToDOM"><div class="image2-inset"><picture><source type="image/webp" srcset="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!dFHg!,w_424,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_lossy/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fb8b7c6b6-014a-468c-b3c8-0f20f774df24_280x272.gif 424w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!dFHg!,w_848,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_lossy/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fb8b7c6b6-014a-468c-b3c8-0f20f774df24_280x272.gif 848w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!dFHg!,w_1272,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_lossy/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fb8b7c6b6-014a-468c-b3c8-0f20f774df24_280x272.gif 1272w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!dFHg!,w_1456,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_lossy/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fb8b7c6b6-014a-468c-b3c8-0f20f774df24_280x272.gif 1456w" sizes="100vw"><img src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!dFHg!,w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_lossy/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fb8b7c6b6-014a-468c-b3c8-0f20f774df24_280x272.gif" width="474" height="460.45714285714286" 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srcset="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!dFHg!,w_424,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_lossy/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fb8b7c6b6-014a-468c-b3c8-0f20f774df24_280x272.gif 424w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!dFHg!,w_848,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_lossy/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fb8b7c6b6-014a-468c-b3c8-0f20f774df24_280x272.gif 848w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!dFHg!,w_1272,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_lossy/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fb8b7c6b6-014a-468c-b3c8-0f20f774df24_280x272.gif 1272w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!dFHg!,w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_lossy/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fb8b7c6b6-014a-468c-b3c8-0f20f774df24_280x272.gif 1456w" sizes="100vw" fetchpriority="high"></picture><div class="image-link-expand"><div class="pencraft pc-display-flex pc-gap-8 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The button below will take any amount you like, one-time or monthly, at Paypal!</span></mark></strong></p><p class="button-wrapper" data-attrs="{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://www.paypal.com/donate/?hosted_button_id=B2H2C68PXBLK4&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Wonkette $ machine!&quot;,&quot;action&quot;:null,&quot;class&quot;:&quot;button-wrapper&quot;}" data-component-name="ButtonCreateButton"><a class="button primary button-wrapper" href="https://www.paypal.com/donate/?hosted_button_id=B2H2C68PXBLK4"><span>Wonkette $ machine!</span></a></p><p style="text-align: center;"><strong><mark data-color="rgb(217, 234, 211)" style="background-color: rgb(217, 234, 211); color: rgb(0, 0, 0);"><span data-color="#0000ff" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 255);">Also! A Venmo!</span></mark></strong></p><p class="button-wrapper" data-attrs="{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://account.venmo.com/u/Wonkette&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Venmo Wonkette all the $$$!&quot;,&quot;action&quot;:null,&quot;class&quot;:&quot;button-wrapper&quot;}" data-component-name="ButtonCreateButton"><a class="button primary button-wrapper" href="https://account.venmo.com/u/Wonkette"><span>Venmo Wonkette all the $$$!</span></a></p><p></p><p><strong><span data-color="#9900ff" style="color: rgb(153, 0, 255);">Please NEVER send us money if you would have to go without! We love you.</span></strong></p></div><p>Now here&#8217;s your damn tabs! </p><p>Trump sues California for &#8220;illegals voting&#8221;; state AG Rob Bonta explains the state&#8217;s position is &#8220;eat a fuck.&#8221; <a href="https://www.nytimes.com/2026/10/15/us/politics/trump-administration-california-voter-rolls.html?unlocked_article_code=1.I1E.vrkJ.OLJ9R6bKI6uJ&amp;smid=url-share">(Gift link New York Times) </a></p><p><a href="https://www.wonkette.com/p/election-conspiracy-vultures-circling">Previously! </a></p><p>More on the putsch &#8212; I see what I did there! &#8212; to denaturalize Rep. Ilhan Omar. <a href="https://talkingpointsmemo.com/news/the-omar-case-encapsulates-magas-attack-on-citizenship?utm_source=brevo&amp;utm_medium=email&amp;utm_campaign=Top%20stories%2010132026_copy">(Talking Points Memo) </a></p><p>YAY it&#8217;s Blaire Erskine! </p><div class="bluesky-wrap outer" style="height: auto; display: flex; justify-content: center; margin-bottom: 24px;" data-attrs="{&quot;postId&quot;:&quot;3mxvibemoek2z&quot;,&quot;authorDid&quot;:&quot;did:plc:howhs2rmsiqwnzcomucwnlqk&quot;,&quot;authorName&quot;:&quot;blaire erskine&quot;,&quot;authorHandle&quot;:&quot;blaireerskine.bsky.social&quot;,&quot;authorAvatarUrl&quot;:&quot;https://cdn.bsky.app/img/avatar/plain/did:plc:howhs2rmsiqwnzcomucwnlqk/bafkreihsmtyjx6nfxu3howwelvtn7ogm4zekla5xxsixecg3iy2krai46e&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;happy Katie Zacharia Day Two to all who observe&#8230; enjoy it, savor it, don&#8217;t let it pass u by&quot;,&quot;createdAt&quot;:&quot;2026-10-15T06:57:12.947Z&quot;,&quot;uri&quot;:&quot;at://did:plc:howhs2rmsiqwnzcomucwnlqk/app.bsky.feed.post/3mxvibemoek2z&quot;,&quot;imageUrls&quot;:[&quot;https://video.bsky.app/watch/did%3Aplc%3Ahowhs2rmsiqwnzcomucwnlqk/bafkreibffimjkthw6sfusdjsqu47btuq2675mgoxhslpcn2v4oytqv7trq/thumbnail.jpg&quot;]}" data-component-name="BlueskyCreateBlueskyEmbed"><iframe id="bluesky-3mxvibemoek2z" data-bluesky-id="7422343641499645" src="https://embed.bsky.app/embed/did:plc:howhs2rmsiqwnzcomucwnlqk/app.bsky.feed.post/3mxvibemoek2z?id=7422343641499645" width="100%" style="display: block; flex-grow: 1; max-width: 600px;" frameborder="0" scrolling="no"></iframe></div><p>Here&#8217;s Wonkpal Charlotte Clymer getting her licks in. <a href="https://charlotteclymer.substack.com/p/shes-not-a-lawyer-but-she-plays-one?r=elvx&amp;utm_campaign=post&amp;utm_medium=email">(Charlotte&#8217;s Web Thoughts) </a></p><p>Trump has called off the reality show firing squad. Everybody please keep Pete Hegseth&#8217;s manhood in your thoughts and prayers at this terrible time. <a href="https://www.bbc.com/news/articles/crx23qlnj27qo">(BBC) </a></p><p>Now let&#8217;s read something horrible! &#8220;The Indian Question&#8221;: Should this white supremacist chud try to do a mass shooting at a Hindu temple AGAIN, or were his coworkers correct to tell the cops he&#8217;d tried but then his rifle jammed and he was gonna try again and get him arrested, like don&#8217;t they even know the bro (mass shooter) code? <a href="https://www.chicagotribune.com/2026/10/15/raja-krishnamoorthi-aurora-temple/?lctg=2276c265798522db34332abcd662f646&amp;active=yesD&amp;utm_campaign=trib-chicago_tribune-breaking_news-nl&amp;utm_content=alert&amp;utm_source=sailthru&amp;utm_medium=newsletter&amp;utm_cluster=TRIB&amp;utm_profileID=6a5eab34998e864970460a3b">(Chicago Tribune) </a></p><p>The other &#8220;The Indian Question&#8221;: Which of Trump&#8217;s scurrilous terrible race attacks is going to incite a mass shooting next? Is it the ones against the Somalis, the Haitians, or this awful fucking thing he said? </p><div class="bluesky-wrap outer" style="height: auto; display: flex; justify-content: center; margin-bottom: 24px;" data-attrs="{&quot;postId&quot;:&quot;3mxw4dv43xk26&quot;,&quot;authorDid&quot;:&quot;did:plc:63umjc3jjqrv77hc4eehbvw7&quot;,&quot;authorName&quot;:&quot;Andrew Lawrence&quot;,&quot;authorHandle&quot;:&quot;ndrew.bsky.social&quot;,&quot;authorAvatarUrl&quot;:&quot;https://cdn.bsky.app/img/avatar/plain/did:plc:63umjc3jjqrv77hc4eehbvw7/bafkreifubpwhtxp4rk3mz624qcdr6f34fwvjaqneoxsgwdyfp5yxohbqj4&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;some deranged lunatic is going to storm an elementary school with an ar15 looking for the schools surgical center and the media is going to pretend we have no idea where they got that idea from&quot;,&quot;createdAt&quot;:&quot;2026-10-15T12:56:32.173Z&quot;,&quot;uri&quot;:&quot;at://did:plc:63umjc3jjqrv77hc4eehbvw7/app.bsky.feed.post/3mxw4dv43xk26&quot;,&quot;imageUrls&quot;:[]}" data-component-name="BlueskyCreateBlueskyEmbed"><iframe id="bluesky-3mxw4dv43xk26" data-bluesky-id="7665117928514233" src="https://embed.bsky.app/embed/did:plc:63umjc3jjqrv77hc4eehbvw7/app.bsky.feed.post/3mxw4dv43xk26?id=7665117928514233" width="100%" style="display: block; flex-grow: 1; max-width: 600px;" frameborder="0" scrolling="no"></iframe></div><p></p><p>Elon is throttling the satellite internet for Ukraine&#8217;s drone operators while they&#8217;re targeting Russian ammunition depots &#8212; and their defensive drones while Putin&#8217;s shooting missiles at them and killing civilians. Elon&#8217;s blaming Trump. They&#8217;re both on Putin&#8217;s side, while Putin aids Iran in the war Trump started. <a href="https://statuskuo.substack.com/p/a-deadly-betrayal?r=elvx&amp;utm_campaign=post&amp;utm_medium=email">(Status Kuo)</a></p><p>Sure, yes, Meta AI can&#8217;t make posters for &#8220;Lula&#8221; but can make them for &#8220;Flavio&#8221; because of &#8220;safety,&#8221; sure, yes. Goddamn Zuckerberg and Elon and the rest of those douches are really going to kill us :) <a href="https://www1.folha.uol.com.br/internacional/en/brazil/2026/10/meta-ai-creates-campaign-material-for-flavio-bolsonaro-and-blocks-lula-content.shtml">(Folha)</a> Meanwhile, Amsterdam police seized a leftist media computer server as a favor to the US, because anti-fascism is illegal apparently. <a href="https://keepitfree.ai/news/amsterdam-police-seize-server-belonging-to-leftist-internet-service-provider-a/i-at-us-request-nrc-nl/">(Keep It Free)</a></p><p>Paolo Zampolli &#8212; the Melania BFF who had his ex deported so he could get custody &#8212; got a real good (bad) writeup in Politico today, and then he got canned. (But not for having his ex deported so he could get custody, that&#8217;s just normal Trump administration shit.) <a href="https://www.politico.com/news/2026/10/15/email-fight-state-department-trump-administration-01119676?utm_source=substack&amp;utm_medium=email">(Politico</a> / <a href="https://danieldrezner.substack.com/p/heckuva-job-youre-doing-marco-rubio">Dan Drezner) </a></p><p>Aren&#8217;t we all witches though, Kansas Republican dweeb Ty Masterson? Aren&#8217;t we all? <a href="https://newrepublic.com/post/216642/demonic-stuff-kansas-gop-accuses-democrat-witch">(The New Republic) </a></p><p>Well look at that! Americans can see the nose on their face! <a href="https://prospect.org/2026/10/15/who-are-the-real-extremists-gop-polling/">(The American Prospect) </a></p><p>Yes, I will drink an Apple-rol Spritz. <a href="https://www.bhg.com/apple-cider-spritz-12146269?tag=recipes&amp;hid=f1a00e29d916c59550c596845d23391aba438758&amp;did=27006020-20261015&amp;utm_campaign=bhg-daily-inspiration_newsletter&amp;utm_source=bhg&amp;utm_medium=email&amp;utm_content=101526&amp;lctg=f1a00e29d916c59550c596845d23391aba438758&amp;lr_input=285e44649b6f172f7e594b6e0d55c50866126285ca0911a0376fb69af227b808&amp;utm_term=AM&amp;bvee=1792074872828">(Better Homes and Gardens) </a></p><div><hr></div><p><strong><span data-color="#b45f06" style="color: rgb(180, 95, 6);">Wonkette Movie Night! Join your friend ZiggyWiggy Saturday at 9 p.m. Eastern for </span></strong><em><strong><span data-color="#b45f06" style="color: rgb(180, 95, 6);">Happy Death Day</span></strong></em><strong><span data-color="#b45f06" style="color: rgb(180, 95, 6);">, available with subscription on Peacock, Hulu, and HBO Max. $3.99 in the usual places.</span></strong></p><div><hr></div><p><strong><span data-color="#4a86e8" style="color: rgb(74, 134, 232);">Bookshop.org is the anti-Amazon, a certified B-corp partnering with local bookstores. Here&#8217;s our </span><a href="https://bookshop.org/shop/wonkette"><mark data-color="rgb(0, 255, 255)" style="background-color: rgb(0, 255, 255); color: rgb(0, 0, 0);"><span data-color="#4a86e8" style="color: rgb(74, 134, 232);">Bookshop affiliate link,</span></mark></a><span data-color="#4a86e8" style="color: rgb(74, 134, 232);"> when you buy books, Wonkette gets </span></strong><em><strong><span data-color="#4a86e8" style="color: rgb(74, 134, 232);">10 percent. </span></strong></em><strong><span data-color="#4a86e8" style="color: rgb(74, 134, 232);">You can search any old book from that page and it will count. Buy all the books!</span></strong></p><p style="text-align: center;"><strong><span data-color="#9900ff" style="color: rgb(153, 0, 255);">Have you subscribed to Wonkette today?</span></strong></p><p class="button-wrapper" data-attrs="{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://www.wonkette.com/subscribe?&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Subscribe now&quot;,&quot;action&quot;:null,&quot;class&quot;:null}" data-component-name="ButtonCreateButton"><a class="button primary" href="https://www.wonkette.com/subscribe?"><span>Subscribe now</span></a></p><p style="text-align: center;"><strong><span data-color="#ff00ff" style="color: rgb(255, 0, 255);">It would be really helpful if you sent Wonkette to some friends!</span></strong></p><p class="button-wrapper" data-attrs="{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://www.wonkette.com/p/bad-boys-bad-boys-tabs-thurs-april?utm_source=substack&amp;utm_medium=email&amp;utm_content=share&amp;action=share&amp;token=eyJ1c2VyX2lkIjo2ODE1NDksInBvc3RfaWQiOjE5Mjg1NjY0MywiaWF0IjoxNzc1MTQ3NDQxLCJleHAiOjE3Nzc3Mzk0NDEsImlzcyI6InB1Yi0xNzgzMzY3Iiwic3ViIjoicG9zdC1yZWFjdGlvbiJ9.ZPkGYsUp53WXkDyTd9dzxEvUbzBhwg7T5b51FiRC6ks&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Share&quot;,&quot;action&quot;:null,&quot;class&quot;:&quot;button-wrapper&quot;}" data-component-name="ButtonCreateButton"><a class="button primary button-wrapper" href="https://www.wonkette.com/p/bad-boys-bad-boys-tabs-thurs-april?utm_source=substack&amp;utm_medium=email&amp;utm_content=share&amp;action=share&amp;token=eyJ1c2VyX2lkIjo2ODE1NDksInBvc3RfaWQiOjE5Mjg1NjY0MywiaWF0IjoxNzc1MTQ3NDQxLCJleHAiOjE3Nzc3Mzk0NDEsImlzcyI6InB1Yi0xNzgzMzY3Iiwic3ViIjoicG9zdC1yZWFjdGlvbiJ9.ZPkGYsUp53WXkDyTd9dzxEvUbzBhwg7T5b51FiRC6ks"><span>Share</span></a></p>]]></content:encoded></item><item><title><![CDATA[You Have 48 Hours To Comply. Tabs, Thurs., Oct. 15, 2026]]></title><description><![CDATA[Morning news, get your morning news!]]></description><link>https://www.wonkette.com/p/you-have-48-hours-to-comply-tabs</link><guid isPermaLink="false">https://www.wonkette.com/p/you-have-48-hours-to-comply-tabs</guid><dc:creator><![CDATA[Rebecca Schoenkopf]]></dc:creator><pubDate>Thu, 15 Oct 2026 11:02:41 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/9e466b4f-6af9-4af8-a810-a0689f830118_275x300.gif" length="0" type="image/jpeg"/><content:encoded><![CDATA[<div class="captioned-image-container"><figure><a class="image-link image2 is-viewable-img" target="_blank" href="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!7VWJ!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F6f473225-1716-4b26-adf7-0ab42136dbb3_275x300.gif" data-component-name="Image2ToDOM"><div class="image2-inset"><picture><source type="image/webp" 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srcset="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!7VWJ!,w_424,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_lossy/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F6f473225-1716-4b26-adf7-0ab42136dbb3_275x300.gif 424w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!7VWJ!,w_848,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_lossy/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F6f473225-1716-4b26-adf7-0ab42136dbb3_275x300.gif 848w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!7VWJ!,w_1272,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_lossy/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F6f473225-1716-4b26-adf7-0ab42136dbb3_275x300.gif 1272w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!7VWJ!,w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_lossy/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F6f473225-1716-4b26-adf7-0ab42136dbb3_275x300.gif 1456w" sizes="100vw" fetchpriority="high"></picture><div class="image-link-expand"><div class="pencraft pc-display-flex pc-gap-8 pc-reset"><button tabindex="0" type="button" class="pencraft pc-reset pencraft icon-container restack-image buttonBase-GK1x3M"><svg aria-hidden="true" width="20" height="20" viewBox="0 0 20 20" fill="none" stroke-width="1.5" stroke="var(--color-fg-primary)" stroke-linecap="round" stroke-linejoin="round" xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" class="icon-noB79L"><g><path d="M2.53001 7.81595C3.49179 4.73911 6.43281 2.5 9.91173 2.5C13.1684 2.5 15.9537 4.46214 17.0852 7.23684L17.6179 8.67647M17.6179 8.67647L18.5002 4.26471M17.6179 8.67647L13.6473 6.91176M17.4995 12.1841C16.5378 15.2609 13.5967 17.5 10.1178 17.5C6.86118 17.5 4.07589 15.5379 2.94432 12.7632L2.41165 11.3235M2.41165 11.3235L1.5293 15.7353M2.41165 11.3235L6.38224 13.0882"></path></g></svg></button><button tabindex="0" type="button" class="pencraft pc-reset pencraft icon-container view-image buttonBase-GK1x3M"><svg xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" width="20" height="20" viewBox="0 0 24 24" fill="none" stroke="currentColor" stroke-width="2" stroke-linecap="round" stroke-linejoin="round" class="lucide lucide-maximize2 lucide-maximize-2 icon-noB79L"><polyline points="15 3 21 3 21 9"></polyline><polyline points="9 21 3 21 3 15"></polyline><line x1="21" x2="14" y1="3" y2="10"></line><line x1="3" x2="10" y1="21" y2="14"></line></svg></button></div></div></div></a><figcaption class="image-caption">Tabs gif by your friend Martini Glambassador!</figcaption></figure></div><div class="callout-block" data-callout="true"><p><strong><mark data-color="rgb(207, 226, 243)" style="background-color: rgb(207, 226, 243); color: rgb(0, 0, 0);"><span data-color="#ff00ff" style="color: rgb(255, 0, 255);">Good morning, terrible ones! This is another good week to subscribe (for money or for free, we like it either way)!</span></mark></strong></p><p class="button-wrapper" data-attrs="{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://www.wonkette.com/subscribe?&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Subscribe now&quot;,&quot;action&quot;:null,&quot;class&quot;:null}" data-component-name="ButtonCreateButton"><a class="button primary" href="https://www.wonkette.com/subscribe?"><span>Subscribe now</span></a></p><p><strong><mark data-color="rgb(0, 255, 255)" style="background-color: rgb(0, 255, 255); color: rgb(0, 0, 0);"><span data-color="#0000ff" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 255);">And if you are holding extra money, and ONLY if it is extra, feel free to slide it in our pockets! The button below will take any amount you like, one-time or monthly, at Paypal!</span></mark></strong></p><p class="button-wrapper" data-attrs="{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://www.paypal.com/donate/?hosted_button_id=B2H2C68PXBLK4&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Wonkette $ machine!&quot;,&quot;action&quot;:null,&quot;class&quot;:&quot;button-wrapper&quot;}" data-component-name="ButtonCreateButton"><a class="button primary button-wrapper" href="https://www.paypal.com/donate/?hosted_button_id=B2H2C68PXBLK4"><span>Wonkette $ machine!</span></a></p><p style="text-align: center;"><strong><mark data-color="#d9ead3" style="background-color: rgb(217, 234, 211); color: rgb(0, 0, 0);"><span data-color="#38761d" style="color: rgb(56, 118, 29);">Also! A Venmo!</span></mark></strong></p><p class="button-wrapper" data-attrs="{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://account.venmo.com/u/Wonkette&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Venmo Wonkette all the $$$!&quot;,&quot;action&quot;:null,&quot;class&quot;:&quot;button-wrapper&quot;}" data-component-name="ButtonCreateButton"><a class="button primary button-wrapper" href="https://account.venmo.com/u/Wonkette"><span>Venmo Wonkette all the $$$!</span></a></p><p></p><p><strong><span data-color="#9900ff" style="color: rgb(153, 0, 255);">Please NEVER send us money if you would have to go without! We love you.</span></strong></p></div><p>Now what have we got for your tabs? </p><p>Yeah, I&#8217;m gonna need everyone to stop killing, trying to kill, or threatening to kill all the politicians. (From this weekend, <a href="https://www.nytimes.com/2026/10/11/us/politics/elections-political-violence-harassment.html?unlocked_article_code=1.H1E.PgeV.gTSavAhjSZcV&amp;smid=nytcore-ios-share">gift link New York Times)</a></p><p>Yeah, I&#8217;m gonna need the literal actual president of the United States to stop posting snuff film mauling porn? <a href="https://www.liberalcurrents.com/donald-trump-posted-videos-of-animals-mauling-people/?ref=news-roundup-newsletter">(Liberal Currents) </a>Even more than that, egging people on while they punch a woman in the face at a Trump rally is &#8212; damn the torpedoes, I&#8217;m just going to say it! &#8212; bad. <a href="https://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/trump-rally-protester-attacked-act-senseless-political-violence-ohio-m-rcna603249">(NBC News) </a></p><p>DOJ threatening California with some made up bullshit lists of &#8220;illegal&#8221; voters. You have &#8230; 48 hours &#8230; to comply. <a href="https://talkingpointsmemo.com/morning-memo/trump-doj-begins-active-election-interference-in-la">(Talking Points Memo) </a></p><p>Dummymandering! It makes me so happy. Here&#8217;s the four tightest ones, but also: &#8220;In four states, up to two dozen seats are in play that would have been less competitive before mid-decade redistricting.&#8221; :) <a href="http://In four states, up to two dozen seats are in play that would have been less competitive before mid-decade redistricting.">(Sam Wang) </a></p><p>The fact that someone in an anti-tax Vivek Ramaswamy ad is a registered sex offender just seems &#8230; incredibly expected? The fact that his wife takes his side against &#8220;several&#8221; nieces and says the accusations were false is just sad. <a href="https://www.thebulwark.com/p/ramaswamy-campaign-ad-accidentally">(The Bulwark)</a></p><p>Robin Givhan says to stop shitting on Kamala Harris, Jesus Christ! I cried just a tiny. <a href="https://www.washingtonsun.com/perspectives/stop-belittling-kamala-harris?utm_source=NOTUS+Newsletter+Audience&amp;utm_campaign=45a05091ce-NL-Perspectives_2026-10-11&amp;utm_medium=email&amp;utm_term=0_-45a05091ce-745265667&amp;mc_cid=45a05091ce&amp;mc_eid=a641dd7146">(Washington Sun) </a></p><p>Forget livestreaming that one terror attack guy by firing squad; new White House press secretary Katie Zacharia&#8217;s group says women who have abortions should be executed &#8220;in the public square.&#8221; <a href="https://jessica.substack.com/p/katie-zacharia-trump-abortion-death-penalty">(Abortion, Every Day) </a>Deep breath, this woman is suing Texas, including named defendant Ken Paxton, for killing her niece Tierra Walker with preeclampsia, deep breath. <a href="https://ballsandstrikes.org/law-politics/tierra-walker-abortion-texas-ban/?utm_source=substack&amp;utm_medium=email">(Balls and Strikes) </a>The Idaho moms and grandmas organizing to overturn their state&#8217;s crap abortion ban, and the crap people trying to terrorize them. <a href="https://19thnews.org/2026/10/idaho-abortion-fight-moms-neighbors-activists/">(19th News)</a></p><p>Boise school board managed to bothsides rape and death threats by the football team (presumably &#8220;jokes,&#8221; but I haven&#8217;t seen them, so maybe they weren&#8217;t!): </p><blockquote><p>&#8220;The tougher issue is what can be done, as a community, to address the anger, callousness, and lack of respect for another human being conveyed in the online messages,&#8221; the board said. <strong>&#8220;And, not just the ones directed at the young woman, but those indiscriminately thrown at an entire athletic team and a school where the overwhelming majority of students and adults are thoughtful, respectful, and considerate.&#8221;</strong></p></blockquote><p>Isn&#8217;t that something. My bold. <a href="https://www.idahostatesman.com/news/local/crime/article317610097.html?giftCode=de2d4411b7fbdc29c8481b8a011abbd934a6486ff86954d9a7fc89abf07f8b7c">(Gift link Idaho Statesman) </a></p><p>Getting rid of immigrants hurts us all, like money-wise. <a href="https://americasvoicecnn.substack.com/p/the-ice-tax-imposes-yet-another-heavy">(America&#8217;s Voice)</a></p><p>I <em>personally</em> feel like we shouldn&#8217;t arrest Black kids for carjackings when they were at school at the time. I&#8217;m so funny and weird! <a href="https://blacknews.com/news/deryl-bright-jr-black-teen-spent-7-months-house-arrest-carjacking-despite-being-school-when-happened/#google_vignette">(Black News)</a></p><p>I hope this FEMA woman gets a PAYCHECK out of Elon Musk. <a href="https://www.cnbc.com/2026/10/13/judge-says-elon-musk-engaged-intimidation-of-ex-fema-cfo-mary-comans.html">(CNBC</a> / <a href="https://www.courtlistener.com/docket/70908189/comans-v-executive-office-of-the-president/">ruling) </a>How Elon and the DOGE boys are making billions off the government while endangering American friends and allies. <a href="https://newrepublic.com/article/216532/elon-musk-doge-employees-government-contracts?utm_medium=social&amp;utm_source=Bluesky&amp;utm_campaign=SF_TNR">(The New Republic) </a></p><p>This is a good dry explainer of just how much the Trump administration and John Solomon are lying when they claim to release &#8220;weaponization&#8221; files. <a href="https://www.nytimes.com/2026/10/11/us/politics/white-house-manufactured-narrative-solomon.html?unlocked_article_code=1.H1E.FDxy.5vEie--XsA71&amp;smid=tw-share">(Gift link New York Times) </a></p><p>Alina Habba says Ric Grenell stole $6 million from a donation from her new &#8220;billionaire&#8221; husband to the Kennedy Center? I don&#8217;t know, none of it&#8217;s clear. <a href="https://www.axios.com/2026/10/14/trump-kennedy-center-donation-maga-feud">(Axios) </a>Somewhat more clear: Alina Habba&#8217;s new &#8220;billionaire&#8221; husband, or as the <em>NYT</em> says, &#8220;portrays himself as a billionaire,&#8221; sure has been engaged or married to a lot of important men&#8217;s daughters in the past five years! <a href="https://www.nytimes.com/2026/10/12/us/politics/a-trump-loyalist-a-turkish-investor-and-a-battle-for-wealth-and-influence.html?unlocked_article_code=1.IlE.EfCJ.Xg5H8M_LlGsM&amp;smid=url-share">(Gift link NYT) </a></p><p>Jews! Are we just witches, and vice-versa??? Medieval history fun times, yay! <a href="https://www.heyalma.com/the-antisemitic-history-of-witches/?utm_source=Alma_Iterable&amp;utm_campaign=Alma&amp;utm_medium=email">(Hey Alma) </a></p><div id="youtube2-jQAK6sVovUk" class="youtube-wrap" data-attrs="{&quot;videoId&quot;:&quot;jQAK6sVovUk&quot;,&quot;startTime&quot;:null,&quot;endTime&quot;:null}" data-component-name="Youtube2ToDOM"><div class="youtube-inner"><iframe src="https://www.youtube-nocookie.com/embed/jQAK6sVovUk?rel=0&amp;autoplay=0&amp;showinfo=0&amp;enablejsapi=0" frameborder="0" loading="lazy" gesture="media" allow="autoplay; fullscreen" allowautoplay="true" allowfullscreen="true" width="728" height="409"></iframe></div></div><div><hr></div><p><strong><span data-color="#9900ff" style="color: rgb(153, 0, 255);">Bookshop.org is the anti-Amazon, a certified B-corp partnering with local bookstores. 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There’s A Tab For That! Tabs, Wed., Oct. 14, 2026]]></title><description><![CDATA[Morning news roundup!]]></description><link>https://www.wonkette.com/p/tarantulas-theres-a-tab-for-that</link><guid isPermaLink="false">https://www.wonkette.com/p/tarantulas-theres-a-tab-for-that</guid><dc:creator><![CDATA[Rebecca Schoenkopf]]></dc:creator><pubDate>Wed, 14 Oct 2026 11:03:33 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/033c3ff4-6919-4769-a843-1d7f951c9b7b_380x214.gif" length="0" type="image/jpeg"/><content:encoded><![CDATA[<div class="captioned-image-container"><figure><div class="image-link image2" data-component-name="Image2ToDOM"><div class="image2-inset"><picture><source type="image/webp" srcset="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!shUQ!,w_424,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_lossy/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F7c89314f-a386-4455-a1cc-643ddaedadee_380x214.gif 424w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!shUQ!,w_848,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_lossy/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F7c89314f-a386-4455-a1cc-643ddaedadee_380x214.gif 848w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!shUQ!,w_1272,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_lossy/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F7c89314f-a386-4455-a1cc-643ddaedadee_380x214.gif 1272w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!shUQ!,w_1456,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_lossy/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F7c89314f-a386-4455-a1cc-643ddaedadee_380x214.gif 1456w" sizes="100vw"><img src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!shUQ!,w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_lossy/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F7c89314f-a386-4455-a1cc-643ddaedadee_380x214.gif" width="578" height="325.5052631578947" data-attrs="{&quot;src&quot;:&quot;https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/7c89314f-a386-4455-a1cc-643ddaedadee_380x214.gif&quot;,&quot;srcNoWatermark&quot;:null,&quot;fullscreen&quot;:null,&quot;imageSize&quot;:null,&quot;height&quot;:214,&quot;width&quot;:380,&quot;resizeWidth&quot;:578,&quot;bytes&quot;:8594538,&quot;alt&quot;:null,&quot;title&quot;:null,&quot;type&quot;:&quot;image/gif&quot;,&quot;href&quot;:null,&quot;belowTheFold&quot;:false,&quot;topImage&quot;:true,&quot;internalRedirect&quot;:&quot;https://www.wonkette.com/i/220218550?img=https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F7c89314f-a386-4455-a1cc-643ddaedadee_380x214.gif&quot;,&quot;isProcessing&quot;:false,&quot;align&quot;:null,&quot;offset&quot;:false}" class="sizing-normal" alt="" srcset="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!shUQ!,w_424,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_lossy/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F7c89314f-a386-4455-a1cc-643ddaedadee_380x214.gif 424w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!shUQ!,w_848,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_lossy/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F7c89314f-a386-4455-a1cc-643ddaedadee_380x214.gif 848w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!shUQ!,w_1272,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_lossy/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F7c89314f-a386-4455-a1cc-643ddaedadee_380x214.gif 1272w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!shUQ!,w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_lossy/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F7c89314f-a386-4455-a1cc-643ddaedadee_380x214.gif 1456w" sizes="100vw" fetchpriority="high"></picture><div></div></div></div><figcaption class="image-caption">Tabs gif by your friend Martini Glambassador! </figcaption></figure></div><div class="callout-block" data-callout="true"><p><strong><mark data-color="rgb(207, 226, 243)" style="background-color: rgb(207, 226, 243); color: rgb(0, 0, 0);"><span data-color="#0000ff" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 255);">Good morning, terrible ones! This is another good week to subscribe (for money or for free, we like it either way)!</span></mark></strong></p><p class="button-wrapper" data-attrs="{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://www.wonkette.com/subscribe?&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Subscribe now&quot;,&quot;action&quot;:null,&quot;class&quot;:null}" data-component-name="ButtonCreateButton"><a class="button primary" href="https://www.wonkette.com/subscribe?"><span>Subscribe now</span></a></p><p></p><p><strong><mark data-color="rgb(0, 255, 255)" style="background-color: rgb(0, 255, 255); color: rgb(0, 0, 0);"><span data-color="#0000ff" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 255);">And if you are holding extra money, and ONLY if it is extra, feel free to slide it in our pockets! The button below will take any amount you like, one-time or monthly, at Paypal!</span></mark></strong></p><p class="button-wrapper" data-attrs="{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://www.paypal.com/donate/?hosted_button_id=B2H2C68PXBLK4&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Wonkette $ machine!&quot;,&quot;action&quot;:null,&quot;class&quot;:&quot;button-wrapper&quot;}" data-component-name="ButtonCreateButton"><a class="button primary button-wrapper" href="https://www.paypal.com/donate/?hosted_button_id=B2H2C68PXBLK4"><span>Wonkette $ machine!</span></a></p><p style="text-align: center;"></p><p style="text-align: center;"><strong><mark data-color="rgb(234, 209, 220)" style="background-color: rgb(234, 209, 220); color: rgb(0, 0, 0);"><span data-color="#0000ff" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 255);">Also! A Venmo!</span></mark></strong></p><p class="button-wrapper" data-attrs="{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://account.venmo.com/u/Wonkette&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Venmo Wonkette all the $$$!&quot;,&quot;action&quot;:null,&quot;class&quot;:&quot;button-wrapper&quot;}" data-component-name="ButtonCreateButton"><a class="button primary button-wrapper" href="https://account.venmo.com/u/Wonkette"><span>Venmo Wonkette all the $$$!</span></a></p><p></p><p><strong><span data-color="#9900ff" style="color: rgb(153, 0, 255);">Please NEVER send us money if you would have to go without! We love you.</span></strong></p></div><p>This is a tab I was legit going to give you and in comes Martini with the SPIDERZ. This happened in July AND YET: <strong>Tarantula-tossing candidate running for U.S. Senate sentenced to workhouse over 2024 incident.</strong></p><blockquote><p>According to the complaint: The woman told police Simonetti began banging pots and pans loudly upstairs and cut off the dwelling&#8217;s Wi-Fi. The woman later called police to say the door to the basement had been opened, and Simonetti began throwing things down the stairwell, including a live tarantula and the contents of a terrarium, along with nails, pins and tacks. Police say they found those items on the stairwell when they arrived.</p><p>The also complaint said Simonetti allegedly yelled &#8220;this is why you never f*&amp;% with Marisa Simonetti.&#8221;</p></blockquote><p>Oh, Minnesota. You okay? <a href="https://www.mprnews.org/story/2026/07/02/tarantulatossing-candidate-running-for-us-senate-sentenced-to-workhouse-over-2024-incident">(MPR)</a></p><p>This is more important than the spiders, but I already had the spiders there for the tabs gif. Goddammit, goddammit, God bless the Pope. <a href="https://open.substack.com/pub/lettersfromleo/p/pope-leo-xiv-lung-cancer?r=elvx&amp;utm_campaign=post&amp;utm_medium=email">(Letters From Leo) </a></p><p>These are two pretty grave scandals &#8212; like partying in Dubai with fugitives who gave him hundreds of thousands of dollars &#8212; that were in the midst of dropping about Ken Paxton. It&#8217;s a good thing we all spent the weekend on &#8220;Is James Talarico In A Straitjacket RIGHT NOW?&#8221; instead! <a href="https://open.substack.com/pub/laurabassett/p/anatomy-of-a-fake-scandal?r=elvx&amp;utm_campaign=post&amp;utm_medium=email">(Laura Bassett at Nightcap) </a>Sure, I&#8217;ll gift link you the WaPo, I am nice like that! &#8220;Ken Paxton took campaign funds from donors with interests before his office.&#8221; Oh, word? Word. <a href="https://wapo.st/4zxV75y">(Gift link Washington Post) </a></p><p>Montana Democrats an absolute mess. Headline completely undersells the shitshow. <a href="https://thehill.com/homenews/campaign/6144107-montana-democrats-chair-resigns/">(The Hill)</a></p><p>Charlie Cook never met a race he didn&#8217;t want to lean Republican. G. Elliott Morris takes his &#8220;no blue wave, just a &#8216;red undertow&#8217;&#8221; apart. <a href="https://open.substack.com/pub/gelliottmorris/p/2026-10-11-sunday-roundup?r=elvx&amp;utm_campaign=post-expanded-share&amp;utm_medium=web">(G. Elliott Morris) </a></p><p>CORRECTION! Sometime last week I said some dumb Fuck Joe Biden 24-year-old sexxxbomb was the new press secretary, but she is apparently an assistant or a deputy. This is the new press secretary. </p><div class="bluesky-wrap outer" style="height: auto; display: flex; justify-content: center; margin-bottom: 24px;" data-attrs="{&quot;postId&quot;:&quot;3mxr7vgyjek2c&quot;,&quot;authorDid&quot;:&quot;did:plc:4llrhdclvdlmmynkwsmg5tdc&quot;,&quot;authorName&quot;:&quot;Aaron Rupar&quot;,&quot;authorHandle&quot;:&quot;atrupar.com&quot;,&quot;authorAvatarUrl&quot;:&quot;https://cdn.bsky.app/img/avatar/plain/did:plc:4llrhdclvdlmmynkwsmg5tdc/bafkreibmhm3h6ar52pogvolisrzjdhwa2myras5vkxzj67twxn2l6pogwu&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;&#128556; Katie Zacharia's first press briefing was brutally bad &#128556;\n\nTrump managed to find a press secretary who can barely read, but she does have the number one qualification -- looking like Ivanka\n\nHere's a supercut from Zacharia's first briefing, which made Karoline Leavitt seem like Ronald Reagan&quot;,&quot;createdAt&quot;:&quot;2026-10-13T14:16:43.890Z&quot;,&quot;uri&quot;:&quot;at://did:plc:4llrhdclvdlmmynkwsmg5tdc/app.bsky.feed.post/3mxr7vgyjek2c&quot;,&quot;imageUrls&quot;:[&quot;https://video.bsky.app/watch/did%3Aplc%3A4llrhdclvdlmmynkwsmg5tdc/bafkreidbs3exdktrlqqlz3sulclildalhydc2yyp74qm5c67ktzvxmbtkm/thumbnail.jpg&quot;]}" data-component-name="BlueskyCreateBlueskyEmbed"><iframe id="bluesky-3mxr7vgyjek2c" data-bluesky-id="8371404421442026" src="https://embed.bsky.app/embed/did:plc:4llrhdclvdlmmynkwsmg5tdc/app.bsky.feed.post/3mxr7vgyjek2c?id=8371404421442026" width="100%" style="display: block; flex-grow: 1; max-width: 600px;" frameborder="0" scrolling="no"></iframe></div><p>Also, it sure seems like the new press secretary, Katie Zacharia, is lying about being a lawyer yikes! <a href="https://open.substack.com/pub/popularinformation/p/trumps-new-press-secretary-katie?r=elvx&amp;utm_campaign=post&amp;utm_medium=email">(Popular Info) </a></p><p>Yeah no, I don&#8217;t think that counts? </p><div class="bluesky-wrap outer" style="height: auto; display: flex; justify-content: center; margin-bottom: 24px;" data-attrs="{&quot;postId&quot;:&quot;3mxreid3t762j&quot;,&quot;authorDid&quot;:&quot;did:plc:4llrhdclvdlmmynkwsmg5tdc&quot;,&quot;authorName&quot;:&quot;Aaron Rupar&quot;,&quot;authorHandle&quot;:&quot;atrupar.com&quot;,&quot;authorAvatarUrl&quot;:&quot;https://cdn.bsky.app/img/avatar/plain/did:plc:4llrhdclvdlmmynkwsmg5tdc/bafkreibmhm3h6ar52pogvolisrzjdhwa2myras5vkxzj67twxn2l6pogwu&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Q: You said Zacharia is an attorney. Where did she pass the bar exam? What state?\n\n\nZACHARIA: When I moved to China&quot;,&quot;createdAt&quot;:&quot;2026-10-13T15:38:52.280Z&quot;,&quot;uri&quot;:&quot;at://did:plc:4llrhdclvdlmmynkwsmg5tdc/app.bsky.feed.post/3mxreid3t762j&quot;,&quot;imageUrls&quot;:[&quot;https://video.bsky.app/watch/did%3Aplc%3A4llrhdclvdlmmynkwsmg5tdc/bafkreicmyafu2wu3uh6h6jtvztepkerrypavr2lsen7ohhyffg4f5bvk6y/thumbnail.jpg&quot;]}" data-component-name="BlueskyCreateBlueskyEmbed"><iframe id="bluesky-3mxreid3t762j" data-bluesky-id="6764894452927962" src="https://embed.bsky.app/embed/did:plc:4llrhdclvdlmmynkwsmg5tdc/app.bsky.feed.post/3mxreid3t762j?id=6764894452927962" width="100%" style="display: block; flex-grow: 1; max-width: 600px;" frameborder="0" scrolling="no"></iframe></div><p>(The Chinese bar is only for Chinese citizens, and she does not speak Chinese.)</p><p>You know who would have been legit PISSED about Michigan prison officials taking a prisoner&#8217;s Quran and replacing it with a Bible? Gretchen Carlson, not even kidding. <a href="https://www.wonkette.com/p/fox-newss-gretchen-carlson-accidentally-forgot-to-be-stupid-again">Remember when she SPIT FIRE</a> when the stupid one and the rapey one said Obama shouldn&#8217;t have given Osama Bin Laden proper Muslim burial rites? Anyway, I just thought of that, this sucks. <a href="https://www.mlive.com/news/2026/10/michigan-prison-officers-took-muslim-inmates-religious-items-offered-a-bible-lawsuit-says.html?mrfcid=202610096ac8331571d3431697b2276f">(MLive) </a></p><p>You guys, I just had a brand new idea nobody&#8217;s ever thought of before: What if we taxed wealth??? <a href="https://www.nber.org/papers/w35854">(NBER)</a> Gavin Newsom is backing the California initiative that would invalidate the initiative for a billionaire wealth tax. Gavin Newsom can eat a fuck! <a href="https://www.wsj.com/politics/newsom-backs-measure-that-could-invalidate-billionaire-tax-2357a6b3?st=kmdq7Q&amp;reflink=desktopwebshare_permalink">(Gift link Wall Street Journal) </a></p><p>Professor Senator Warren&#8217;s got a new Trumpflation tracker! <a href="https://senatebankingdemocrats.substack.com/p/new-warren-launches-new-trumpflation">(Senate Banking Democrats) </a>Crap letter from a dude (Scott Bessent) to Elizabeth Warren. <a href="https://finance.yahoo.com/economy/policy/articles/bessent-roasts-warren-scathing-letter-132000232.html">(Yahoo Finance) </a></p><p>Now learn about the SPIDER BITE DANCE! </p><div id="youtube2-qY67a1umF_A" class="youtube-wrap" data-attrs="{&quot;videoId&quot;:&quot;qY67a1umF_A&quot;,&quot;startTime&quot;:&quot;86s&quot;,&quot;endTime&quot;:null}" data-component-name="Youtube2ToDOM"><div class="youtube-inner"><iframe src="https://www.youtube-nocookie.com/embed/qY67a1umF_A?start=86s&amp;rel=0&amp;autoplay=0&amp;showinfo=0&amp;enablejsapi=0" frameborder="0" loading="lazy" gesture="media" allow="autoplay; fullscreen" allowautoplay="true" allowfullscreen="true" width="728" height="409"></iframe></div></div><div><hr></div><p><strong><span data-color="#4a86e8" style="color: rgb(74, 134, 232);">Bookshop.org is the anti-Amazon, a certified B-corp partnering with local bookstores. Here&#8217;s our </span><a href="https://bookshop.org/shop/wonkette"><mark data-color="rgb(0, 255, 255)" style="background-color: rgb(0, 255, 255); color: rgb(0, 0, 0);"><span data-color="#4a86e8" style="color: rgb(74, 134, 232);">Bookshop affiliate link,</span></mark></a><span data-color="#4a86e8" style="color: rgb(74, 134, 232);"> when you buy books, Wonkette gets </span></strong><em><strong><span data-color="#4a86e8" style="color: rgb(74, 134, 232);">10 percent. </span></strong></em><strong><span data-color="#4a86e8" style="color: rgb(74, 134, 232);">You can search any old book from that page and it will count. Buy all the books!</span></strong></p><p style="text-align: center;"><strong><span data-color="#9900ff" style="color: rgb(153, 0, 255);">Have you subscribed to Wonkette today?</span></strong></p><p class="button-wrapper" data-attrs="{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://www.wonkette.com/subscribe?&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Subscribe now&quot;,&quot;action&quot;:null,&quot;class&quot;:null}" data-component-name="ButtonCreateButton"><a class="button primary" href="https://www.wonkette.com/subscribe?"><span>Subscribe now</span></a></p><p style="text-align: center;"><strong><span data-color="#0000ff" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 255);">It would be really helpful if you sent Wonkette to some friends!</span></strong></p><p class="button-wrapper" data-attrs="{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://www.wonkette.com/p/bad-boys-bad-boys-tabs-thurs-april?utm_source=substack&amp;utm_medium=email&amp;utm_content=share&amp;action=share&amp;token=eyJ1c2VyX2lkIjo2ODE1NDksInBvc3RfaWQiOjE5Mjg1NjY0MywiaWF0IjoxNzc1MTQ3NDQxLCJleHAiOjE3Nzc3Mzk0NDEsImlzcyI6InB1Yi0xNzgzMzY3Iiwic3ViIjoicG9zdC1yZWFjdGlvbiJ9.ZPkGYsUp53WXkDyTd9dzxEvUbzBhwg7T5b51FiRC6ks&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Share&quot;,&quot;action&quot;:null,&quot;class&quot;:&quot;button-wrapper&quot;}" data-component-name="ButtonCreateButton"><a class="button primary button-wrapper" href="https://www.wonkette.com/p/bad-boys-bad-boys-tabs-thurs-april?utm_source=substack&amp;utm_medium=email&amp;utm_content=share&amp;action=share&amp;token=eyJ1c2VyX2lkIjo2ODE1NDksInBvc3RfaWQiOjE5Mjg1NjY0MywiaWF0IjoxNzc1MTQ3NDQxLCJleHAiOjE3Nzc3Mzk0NDEsImlzcyI6InB1Yi0xNzgzMzY3Iiwic3ViIjoicG9zdC1yZWFjdGlvbiJ9.ZPkGYsUp53WXkDyTd9dzxEvUbzBhwg7T5b51FiRC6ks"><span>Share</span></a></p>]]></content:encoded></item><item><title><![CDATA[Oppositional Defiant Disorder! Tabs, Fri., Oct. 9, 2026]]></title><description><![CDATA[Morning news roundup!]]></description><link>https://www.wonkette.com/p/oppositional-defiant-disorder-tabs</link><guid isPermaLink="false">https://www.wonkette.com/p/oppositional-defiant-disorder-tabs</guid><dc:creator><![CDATA[Rebecca Schoenkopf]]></dc:creator><pubDate>Fri, 09 Oct 2026 11:02:04 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/465067d0-78e5-4587-8db2-3dc424158645_420x236.gif" length="0" type="image/jpeg"/><content:encoded><![CDATA[<div class="captioned-image-container"><figure><div class="image-link image2" data-component-name="Image2ToDOM"><div class="image2-inset"><picture><source type="image/webp" srcset="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!q2UL!,w_424,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_lossy/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Faf6ed04d-6b3a-45ad-8982-182366f39db9_420x236.gif 424w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!q2UL!,w_848,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_lossy/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Faf6ed04d-6b3a-45ad-8982-182366f39db9_420x236.gif 848w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!q2UL!,w_1272,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_lossy/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Faf6ed04d-6b3a-45ad-8982-182366f39db9_420x236.gif 1272w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!q2UL!,w_1456,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_lossy/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Faf6ed04d-6b3a-45ad-8982-182366f39db9_420x236.gif 1456w" sizes="100vw"><img src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!q2UL!,w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_lossy/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Faf6ed04d-6b3a-45ad-8982-182366f39db9_420x236.gif" width="574" height="322.53333333333336" data-attrs="{&quot;src&quot;:&quot;https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/af6ed04d-6b3a-45ad-8982-182366f39db9_420x236.gif&quot;,&quot;srcNoWatermark&quot;:null,&quot;fullscreen&quot;:null,&quot;imageSize&quot;:null,&quot;height&quot;:236,&quot;width&quot;:420,&quot;resizeWidth&quot;:574,&quot;bytes&quot;:8416921,&quot;alt&quot;:null,&quot;title&quot;:null,&quot;type&quot;:&quot;image/gif&quot;,&quot;href&quot;:null,&quot;belowTheFold&quot;:false,&quot;topImage&quot;:true,&quot;internalRedirect&quot;:&quot;https://www.wonkette.com/i/219455441?img=https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Faf6ed04d-6b3a-45ad-8982-182366f39db9_420x236.gif&quot;,&quot;isProcessing&quot;:false,&quot;align&quot;:null,&quot;offset&quot;:false}" class="sizing-normal" alt="" srcset="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!q2UL!,w_424,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_lossy/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Faf6ed04d-6b3a-45ad-8982-182366f39db9_420x236.gif 424w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!q2UL!,w_848,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_lossy/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Faf6ed04d-6b3a-45ad-8982-182366f39db9_420x236.gif 848w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!q2UL!,w_1272,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_lossy/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Faf6ed04d-6b3a-45ad-8982-182366f39db9_420x236.gif 1272w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!q2UL!,w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_lossy/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Faf6ed04d-6b3a-45ad-8982-182366f39db9_420x236.gif 1456w" sizes="100vw" fetchpriority="high"></picture><div></div></div></div><figcaption class="image-caption">Tabs gif by your friend Martini Glambassador! </figcaption></figure></div><div class="callout-block" data-callout="true"><p><strong><mark data-color="rgb(207, 226, 243)" style="background-color: rgb(207, 226, 243); color: rgb(0, 0, 0);">Good morning, terrible ones! 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A Venmo!</mark></strong></p><p class="button-wrapper" data-attrs="{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://account.venmo.com/u/Wonkette&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Venmo Wonkette all the $$$!&quot;,&quot;action&quot;:null,&quot;class&quot;:&quot;button-wrapper&quot;}" data-component-name="ButtonCreateButton"><a class="button primary button-wrapper" href="https://account.venmo.com/u/Wonkette"><span>Venmo Wonkette all the $$$!</span></a></p><p></p><p><strong><span data-color="#ff00ff" style="color: rgb(255, 0, 255);">Please NEVER send us money if you would have to go without! We love you.</span></strong></p></div><p>It&#8217;s TABS TIME! </p><p><strong><span data-color="#38761d" style="color: rgb(56, 118, 29);">This night&#8217;s Wonkette Movie Night pick is </span></strong><em><strong><span data-color="#38761d" style="color: rgb(56, 118, 29);">The Girl With All The Gifts</span></strong></em><strong><span data-color="#38761d" style="color: rgb(56, 118, 29);">, available for free with ads on </span><a href="https://youtu.be/foeMdhwqH2M?si=F6CjJh-9e7dOA_Cs"><span data-color="#e11d48" style="color: rgb(225, 29, 72);">YouTube</span></a><span data-color="#e11d48" style="color: rgb(225, 29, 72);">,</span><span data-color="#38761d" style="color: rgb(56, 118, 29);"> Pluto TV, Plex, and Fandango; $3.99 in the usual places. Join ZiggyWiggy and all your friends Saturday at 9 p.m. Eastern! </span></strong></p><p><strong>This paragraph is bad, you should skip it! </strong></p><p>She wasn&#8217;t sure if Andrew Tate was going to kill her, or if he was <em>just a rapist.</em> Pages and pages and pages of horrendous details from the Tate Brothers&#8217; UK extradition charges. Plus the minor who he knew very well was a minor, and the webcamming &#8220;extreme pornography&#8221; he forced her to do on herself because &#8220;true love.&#8221; <a href="https://storage.courtlistener.com/recap/gov.uscourts.flsd.719191/gov.uscourts.flsd.719191.68.1_3.pdf?utm_source=substack&amp;utm_medium=email">(Court Listener) </a>Say, why <em>was</em> Erick Erickson literally the only person on the Right pointing out that the rest of them became Tate Brothers Fanboys and Girls <em>after</em> all the sex trafficking charges came out? Truly, what kind of Oppositional Defiant And Also Child Rape Disorder do these people have? <a href="https://open.substack.com/pub/thebulwark/p/republicans-have-an-andrew-tate-eel-sex-problem-allegations-right-wing-media?r=elvx&amp;utm_campaign=post&amp;utm_medium=email">(The Bulwark) </a></p><p><strong>Okay you can come back now! </strong></p><p>Well maybe the FBI and DOJ will investigate this Epstein pal &#8212; &#8220;is she for me or are you keeping her for yourself?&#8221; &#8212; since he&#8217;s from Bard College? <a href="https://midhudsonnews.com/2026/10/08/botstein-resigns-from-bard-after-damning-email-ties-him-to-epstein-2/">(Mid-Hudson News)</a></p><p>This is some good writing and some good attention paying at the Trump Accounts auto-enrollment (for some children) announcement: </p><blockquote><p> Another strong contender was when both Trump and Cruz riffed on the idea that children can now walk into McDonald&#8217;s &#8220;saying &#8216;I want good service, I own this company&#8217;.&#8221; </p></blockquote><p>Yes, who wouldn&#8217;t want the children to say that when they walk into McDonald&#8217;s. <a href="https://www.the-independent.com/news/world/americas/us-politics/trump-oval-office-announcement-russia-palm-beach-b3063040.html">(The Independent) </a></p><p>Here&#8217;s some dumbfuck rant from Trump, this one about how Henry Cuellar was so ungrateful for his pardon that he didn&#8217;t even switch parties. Thank you to Joe My God for the paragraph breaks, there&#8217;s no way to read his walls of dumbfuck without them. <a href="https://www.joemygod.com/2026/10/trump-rages-that-pardoned-dem-didnt-switch-parties/">(Joe. My. God.)</a></p><p>Kimberly Guilfoyle, girl you in trouble! Heart eyes emoji! <a href="https://www.thebulwark.com/p/our-big-fat-greek-bribery-scandal-kimberly-guilfoyle?r=elvx&amp;utm_campaign=post&amp;utm_medium=web">(The Bulwark) </a></p><p>Nods wisely: </p><div class="bluesky-wrap outer" style="height: auto; display: flex; justify-content: center; margin-bottom: 24px;" data-attrs="{&quot;postId&quot;:&quot;3mxepay6mcs2v&quot;,&quot;authorDid&quot;:&quot;did:plc:4llrhdclvdlmmynkwsmg5tdc&quot;,&quot;authorName&quot;:&quot;Aaron Rupar&quot;,&quot;authorHandle&quot;:&quot;atrupar.com&quot;,&quot;authorAvatarUrl&quot;:&quot;https://cdn.bsky.app/img/avatar/plain/did:plc:4llrhdclvdlmmynkwsmg5tdc/bafkreibmhm3h6ar52pogvolisrzjdhwa2myras5vkxzj67twxn2l6pogwu&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;FCC Chair Andrew Ferguson touts the administration's work to \&quot;protect white American men from discrimination\&quot;&quot;,&quot;createdAt&quot;:&quot;2026-10-08T14:47:00.520Z&quot;,&quot;uri&quot;:&quot;at://did:plc:4llrhdclvdlmmynkwsmg5tdc/app.bsky.feed.post/3mxepay6mcs2v&quot;,&quot;imageUrls&quot;:[&quot;https://video.bsky.app/watch/did%3Aplc%3A4llrhdclvdlmmynkwsmg5tdc/bafkreiba3uxb5k5ujxdcjazftfg6rrygyyv3cwxfl2ol5zdgnd6zkkbdee/thumbnail.jpg&quot;]}" data-component-name="BlueskyCreateBlueskyEmbed"><iframe id="bluesky-3mxepay6mcs2v" data-bluesky-id="08275128593987169" src="https://embed.bsky.app/embed/did:plc:4llrhdclvdlmmynkwsmg5tdc/app.bsky.feed.post/3mxepay6mcs2v?id=08275128593987169" width="100%" style="display: block; flex-grow: 1; max-width: 600px;" frameborder="0" scrolling="no"></iframe></div><p>Everything about <a href="https://www.nyc.gov/mayors-office/news/2026/10/statement-from-mayor-zohran-kwame-mamdani-on-the-third-anniversa">NYC Mayor Zohran Mamdani&#8217;s statement</a> on the anniversary of October 7th was correct, and the pro-Israel people AND the pro-Palestinian protesters reacted completely fucking awfully. What entire dicks. <a href="https://www.nytimes.com/live/2026/10/07/nyregion/nyc-vigil-protests-israel-mamdani?unlocked_article_code=1.HFE.g4HC.oIlNGUuVImOx&amp;smid=url-share">(Gift link New York Times) </a></p><p>The &#8220;always&#8221; in South Carolina Democratic Senate nominee Dr. Annie Andrews&#8217;s &#8220;I will always support trans youth&#8221; didn&#8217;t last very long. This is a true shame. <a href="https://open.substack.com/pub/erininthemorn/p/sc-dem-senate-candidate-annie-andrews?r=elvx&amp;utm_campaign=post-expanded-share&amp;utm_medium=web">(Erin in the Morning) </a></p><p>How the Ellisons &#8212; PTUI &#8212; got Democratic leaders to isolate California state AG Rob Bonta so he would cave on the Ellisons&#8217; shitty, junk-bond-status, pay-themselves-$150-million-bonuses-while-$80-billion-in-debt Warner Brothers takeover. Everything about this is terrible, and particularly fuck Barbara Boxer, because she has yelled at <em>me, personally,</em> TWICE. <a href="https://americanprospect.bluelena.io/index.php?action=social&amp;chash=6018df1842f7130f1b85a6f8e911b96b.4503&amp;s=2a4487073c1cbf430a9f6d4f9c7a41c5">(The American Prospect) </a></p><p>Apollo software programming leader woman Margaret Hamilton has died. This is the best anecdote though! </p><blockquote><p>There was the incident that became known as &#8220;the Lauren error&#8221;: One day, her daughter Lauren, then four years old, was playing with the command module simulator at the Instrumentation Lab when she somehow activated a pre-launch program, called P01, while the simulator was in midflight &#8212; which crashed the simulator altogether. Hamilton created a program add-on in the technical documentation warning users not to launch P01 during flight.</p><p>She also proposed a software fix to prevent the error happening during a real mission, but she was overruled on the grounds that the highly trained astronauts were never going to make that same mistake. Yet during the Apollo 8 mission in 1968, that&#8217;s exactly what happened: Jim Lovell inadvertently launched P01 during the flight, causing the on-flight navigational data to vanish. Hamilton and her team were called in to solve the error, and after that her proposed changes were integrated into the program.</p></blockquote><p>Margaret Hamilton was 90. <a href="https://news.mit.edu/2026/margaret-hamilton-computing-pioneer-dies-1007">(MIT) </a></p><p>Bitcoin ATMs? Not in Albuquerque, bitches! <a href="https://www.krqe.com/news/albuquerque-metro/mayor-keller-signs-ordinance-banning-crypto-atms-in-albuquerque/">(KRQE)</a></p><p>Your friend Worriedman has some real pretty crops. <a href="https://brawlatthepoetscafe.substack.com/p/the-products-of-my-farm-are-these?utm_source=share&amp;utm_medium=android&amp;r=insr">(Worriedman) </a></p><p>Even Kimberly Guilfoyle dancing around like an asshole backstage at the January 6 Get Those Fuckers Rally And Guillotine Exhibition couldn&#8217;t make me hate this song, but it <em>almost</em> did. </p><div id="youtube2-nNEb2k_EmMg" class="youtube-wrap" data-attrs="{&quot;videoId&quot;:&quot;nNEb2k_EmMg&quot;,&quot;startTime&quot;:null,&quot;endTime&quot;:null}" data-component-name="Youtube2ToDOM"><div class="youtube-inner"><iframe src="https://www.youtube-nocookie.com/embed/nNEb2k_EmMg?rel=0&amp;autoplay=0&amp;showinfo=0&amp;enablejsapi=0" frameborder="0" loading="lazy" gesture="media" allow="autoplay; fullscreen" allowautoplay="true" allowfullscreen="true" width="728" height="409"></iframe></div></div><div><hr></div><p><strong><span data-color="#4a86e8" style="color: rgb(74, 134, 232);">Bookshop.org is the anti-Amazon, a certified B-corp partnering with local bookstores. 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Buy all the books!</span></strong></p><p style="text-align: center;"><strong><span data-color="#9900ff" style="color: rgb(153, 0, 255);">Have you subscribed to Wonkette today?</span></strong></p><p class="button-wrapper" data-attrs="{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://www.wonkette.com/subscribe?&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Subscribe now&quot;,&quot;action&quot;:null,&quot;class&quot;:null}" data-component-name="ButtonCreateButton"><a class="button primary" href="https://www.wonkette.com/subscribe?"><span>Subscribe now</span></a></p><p style="text-align: center;"><strong><span data-color="#0000ff" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 255);">It would be really helpful if you sent Wonkette to some friends!</span></strong></p><p class="button-wrapper" data-attrs="{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://www.wonkette.com/p/bad-boys-bad-boys-tabs-thurs-april?utm_source=substack&amp;utm_medium=email&amp;utm_content=share&amp;action=share&amp;token=eyJ1c2VyX2lkIjo2ODE1NDksInBvc3RfaWQiOjE5Mjg1NjY0MywiaWF0IjoxNzc1MTQ3NDQxLCJleHAiOjE3Nzc3Mzk0NDEsImlzcyI6InB1Yi0xNzgzMzY3Iiwic3ViIjoicG9zdC1yZWFjdGlvbiJ9.ZPkGYsUp53WXkDyTd9dzxEvUbzBhwg7T5b51FiRC6ks&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Share&quot;,&quot;action&quot;:null,&quot;class&quot;:&quot;button-wrapper&quot;}" data-component-name="ButtonCreateButton"><a class="button primary button-wrapper" href="https://www.wonkette.com/p/bad-boys-bad-boys-tabs-thurs-april?utm_source=substack&amp;utm_medium=email&amp;utm_content=share&amp;action=share&amp;token=eyJ1c2VyX2lkIjo2ODE1NDksInBvc3RfaWQiOjE5Mjg1NjY0MywiaWF0IjoxNzc1MTQ3NDQxLCJleHAiOjE3Nzc3Mzk0NDEsImlzcyI6InB1Yi0xNzgzMzY3Iiwic3ViIjoicG9zdC1yZWFjdGlvbiJ9.ZPkGYsUp53WXkDyTd9dzxEvUbzBhwg7T5b51FiRC6ks"><span>Share</span></a></p>]]></content:encoded></item><item><title><![CDATA[BOOM: JAIL. Tabs, Thurs., Oct. 7, 2026]]></title><description><![CDATA[Morning news roundup!]]></description><link>https://www.wonkette.com/p/boom-jail-tabs-thurs-oct-7-2026</link><guid isPermaLink="false">https://www.wonkette.com/p/boom-jail-tabs-thurs-oct-7-2026</guid><dc:creator><![CDATA[Rebecca Schoenkopf]]></dc:creator><pubDate>Thu, 08 Oct 2026 11:01:07 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!GSFk!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fd395e999-9b9a-40ed-917e-4f045cba03a7_600x338.gif" length="0" type="image/jpeg"/><content:encoded><![CDATA[<div class="captioned-image-container"><figure><a class="image-link image2 is-viewable-img" target="_blank" href="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!GSFk!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fd395e999-9b9a-40ed-917e-4f045cba03a7_600x338.gif" data-component-name="Image2ToDOM"><div class="image2-inset"><picture><source type="image/webp" srcset="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!GSFk!,w_424,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_lossy/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fd395e999-9b9a-40ed-917e-4f045cba03a7_600x338.gif 424w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!GSFk!,w_848,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_lossy/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fd395e999-9b9a-40ed-917e-4f045cba03a7_600x338.gif 848w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!GSFk!,w_1272,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_lossy/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fd395e999-9b9a-40ed-917e-4f045cba03a7_600x338.gif 1272w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!GSFk!,w_1456,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_lossy/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fd395e999-9b9a-40ed-917e-4f045cba03a7_600x338.gif 1456w" sizes="100vw"><img src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!GSFk!,w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_lossy/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fd395e999-9b9a-40ed-917e-4f045cba03a7_600x338.gif" width="600" height="338" data-attrs="{&quot;src&quot;:&quot;https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/d395e999-9b9a-40ed-917e-4f045cba03a7_600x338.gif&quot;,&quot;srcNoWatermark&quot;:null,&quot;fullscreen&quot;:null,&quot;imageSize&quot;:null,&quot;height&quot;:338,&quot;width&quot;:600,&quot;resizeWidth&quot;:null,&quot;bytes&quot;:null,&quot;alt&quot;:&quot;Nikon-Small-World-4th-place.gif&quot;,&quot;title&quot;:null,&quot;type&quot;:null,&quot;href&quot;:null,&quot;belowTheFold&quot;:false,&quot;topImage&quot;:true,&quot;internalRedirect&quot;:null,&quot;isProcessing&quot;:false,&quot;align&quot;:null,&quot;offset&quot;:false}" class="sizing-normal" alt="Nikon-Small-World-4th-place.gif" title="Nikon-Small-World-4th-place.gif" srcset="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!GSFk!,w_424,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_lossy/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fd395e999-9b9a-40ed-917e-4f045cba03a7_600x338.gif 424w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!GSFk!,w_848,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_lossy/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fd395e999-9b9a-40ed-917e-4f045cba03a7_600x338.gif 848w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!GSFk!,w_1272,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_lossy/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fd395e999-9b9a-40ed-917e-4f045cba03a7_600x338.gif 1272w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!GSFk!,w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_lossy/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fd395e999-9b9a-40ed-917e-4f045cba03a7_600x338.gif 1456w" sizes="100vw" fetchpriority="high"></picture><div class="image-link-expand"><div class="pencraft pc-display-flex pc-gap-8 pc-reset"><button tabindex="0" type="button" class="pencraft pc-reset pencraft icon-container restack-image buttonBase-GK1x3M"><svg aria-hidden="true" width="20" height="20" viewBox="0 0 20 20" fill="none" stroke-width="1.5" stroke="var(--color-fg-primary)" stroke-linecap="round" stroke-linejoin="round" xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" class="icon-noB79L"><g><path d="M2.53001 7.81595C3.49179 4.73911 6.43281 2.5 9.91173 2.5C13.1684 2.5 15.9537 4.46214 17.0852 7.23684L17.6179 8.67647M17.6179 8.67647L18.5002 4.26471M17.6179 8.67647L13.6473 6.91176M17.4995 12.1841C16.5378 15.2609 13.5967 17.5 10.1178 17.5C6.86118 17.5 4.07589 15.5379 2.94432 12.7632L2.41165 11.3235M2.41165 11.3235L1.5293 15.7353M2.41165 11.3235L6.38224 13.0882"></path></g></svg></button><button tabindex="0" type="button" class="pencraft pc-reset pencraft icon-container view-image buttonBase-GK1x3M"><svg xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" width="20" height="20" viewBox="0 0 24 24" fill="none" stroke="currentColor" stroke-width="2" stroke-linecap="round" stroke-linejoin="round" class="lucide lucide-maximize2 lucide-maximize-2 icon-noB79L"><polyline points="15 3 21 3 21 9"></polyline><polyline points="9 21 3 21 3 15"></polyline><line x1="21" x2="14" y1="3" y2="10"></line><line x1="3" x2="10" y1="21" y2="14"></line></svg></button></div></div></div></a><figcaption class="image-caption">Tabs gif by your friend Martini Glambassador! </figcaption></figure></div><div class="callout-block" data-callout="true"><p><strong><mark data-color="rgb(207, 226, 243)" style="background-color: rgb(207, 226, 243); color: rgb(0, 0, 0);"><span data-color="#0000ff" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 255);">Good morning, terrible ones! This is another good week to subscribe (for money or for free, we like it either way)!</span></mark></strong></p><p class="button-wrapper" data-attrs="{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://www.wonkette.com/subscribe?&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Subscribe now&quot;,&quot;action&quot;:null,&quot;class&quot;:null}" data-component-name="ButtonCreateButton"><a class="button primary" href="https://www.wonkette.com/subscribe?"><span>Subscribe now</span></a></p><p><strong><mark data-color="rgb(0, 255, 255)" style="background-color: rgb(0, 255, 255); color: rgb(0, 0, 0);">And if you are holding extra money, and ONLY if it is extra, feel free to slide it in our pockets! The button below will take any amount you like, one-time or monthly, at Paypal!</mark></strong></p><p class="button-wrapper" data-attrs="{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://www.paypal.com/donate/?hosted_button_id=B2H2C68PXBLK4&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Wonkette $ machine!&quot;,&quot;action&quot;:null,&quot;class&quot;:&quot;button-wrapper&quot;}" data-component-name="ButtonCreateButton"><a class="button primary button-wrapper" href="https://www.paypal.com/donate/?hosted_button_id=B2H2C68PXBLK4"><span>Wonkette $ machine!</span></a></p><p style="text-align: center;"><strong><mark data-color="rgb(234, 209, 220)" style="background-color: rgb(234, 209, 220); color: rgb(0, 0, 0);"><span data-color="#9900ff" style="color: rgb(153, 0, 255);">Also! A Venmo!</span></mark></strong></p><p class="button-wrapper" data-attrs="{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://account.venmo.com/u/Wonkette&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Venmo Wonkette all the $$$!&quot;,&quot;action&quot;:null,&quot;class&quot;:&quot;button-wrapper&quot;}" data-component-name="ButtonCreateButton"><a class="button primary button-wrapper" href="https://account.venmo.com/u/Wonkette"><span>Venmo Wonkette all the $$$!</span></a></p><p><strong><span data-color="#ff00ff" style="color: rgb(255, 0, 255);">Please NEVER send us money if you would have to go without! We love you.</span></strong></p></div><p>Now for tabs! </p><p>The press doesn&#8217;t seem to think it&#8217;s a very big deal that Trump wants to &#8220;shove it up [our] ass&#8221; and led crowds to cheer when he hypothesized about Iran nuking LA and San Diego, which is <em>different</em> from how the press treats these things when other people say them. (No Democrat has ever mused genially about red states getting nuked.) <a href="https://statuskuo.substack.com/p/trump-is-certifiable-the-press-shrugs?r=elvx&amp;utm_campaign=post&amp;utm_medium=email">(Status Kuo) </a>More from Wonkpal Paul Slansky! <a href="https://paulslansky.substack.com/p/2026-10-06-omniscience?r=elvx&amp;utm_campaign=post&amp;utm_medium=email">(Slansky) </a></p><p>Speaking of shoving something up someone&#8217;s ass, seriously what&#8217;s Trump hiding in there? <a href="https://open.substack.com/pub/jefftiedrich/p/breaking-worlds-biggest-asshole-has?r=elvx&amp;utm_campaign=post&amp;utm_medium=email">(Tiedrich) </a></p><p>Whatchu doing Kimberly Guilfoyle? Oh brazen corruption, understood! I&#8217;m sure Marco Rubio is in Greece right now &#8220;giving a speech&#8221; instead of fixing all your Greek shit :) <a href="https://www.wsj.com/politics/policy/guilfoyle-amex-donor-100-000-0e02cdc3?st=HVewuw&amp;reflink=desktopwebshare_permalink">(Gift link Wall Street Journal)</a></p><p>Blue Texas would really fuck their shit up! <a href="https://badfaithtimes.com/why-blexas-is-a-big-damn-deal/">(Bad Faith Times) </a></p><p>Well of course they&#8217;re paying College Republicans to heckle Abdul El-Sayed in Michigan! <a href="https://www.michigandaily.com/news/government/conservative-pac-paying-college-republicans-to-disrupt-abdul-el-sayeds-rallies-group-chat-messages-seem-to-show/">(Michigan Daily) </a>I hope Hasan Piker listens to him and shuts the fuck up! <a href="https://www.mediaite.com/media/news/el-sayed-reportedly-called-hasan-piker-and-asked-him-to-stop-the-inflammatory-rhetoric-warning-he-was-costing-him-votes/">(Mediaite) </a></p><p>Oooof. </p><blockquote><p>Naomi Klein&#8217;s new book starts on a mountaintop with two &#8220;faithful men gathering an audience to share their vision&#8221;. It&#8217;s a vision of a paradise city, gated at every entrance, no need for weapons there, everyone in it rich. One of the men has tears in his eyes as he describes its beauty. The opening scene of End Times Fascism, co-written with Astra Taylor, is not a metaphor, however. The men are Jared Kushner and Steve Witkoff. The year is 2026, the mountain is Davos. The paradise city will be called <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SMapfLSD0vA">New Gaza</a>.</p></blockquote><p><a href="https://www.theguardian.com/books/2026/sep/12/naomi-klein-extreme-wealth-has-a-deranging-effect-it-turns-you-into-a-supremacist">(The Guardian) </a></p><div><hr></div><p><strong><span data-color="#4a86e8" style="color: rgb(74, 134, 232);">You and I can both buy the Naomi Klein&#8217;s </span><a href="https://bookshop.org/a/121934/9780374621384"><mark data-color="rgb(0, 255, 255)" style="background-color: rgb(0, 255, 255); color: rgb(0, 0, 0);"><span data-color="#4a86e8" style="color: rgb(74, 134, 232);">End Times Fascism</span></mark></a><span data-color="#4a86e8" style="color: rgb(74, 134, 232);"> at Bookshop! Bookshop.org is the anti-Amazon, a certified B-corp partnering with local bookstores. Here&#8217;s our </span><a href="https://bookshop.org/shop/wonkette"><mark data-color="rgb(0, 255, 255)" style="background-color: rgb(0, 255, 255); color: rgb(0, 0, 0);"><span data-color="#4a86e8" style="color: rgb(74, 134, 232);">Bookshop affiliate link,</span></mark></a><span data-color="#4a86e8" style="color: rgb(74, 134, 232);"> when you buy books, Wonkette gets </span></strong><em><strong><span data-color="#4a86e8" style="color: rgb(74, 134, 232);">10 percent. </span></strong></em><strong><span data-color="#4a86e8" style="color: rgb(74, 134, 232);">You can search any old book from that page and it will count. Buy all the books!</span></strong></p><div><hr></div><p>Speaking of New Gaza, doesn&#8217;t seem like Netanyahu&#8217;s doing a very good job keeping Israel safe. His government is supposed to check incoming flight crews for anybody who might, say, try to crash-land a plane full of his citizens. <a href="https://www.haaretz.com/israel-news/israel-security/2026-10-03/ty-article/.premium/israel-had-list-of-flydubai-flight-crew-ahead-of-pilots-hijacking-attempt/000001a1-028d-d36a-a5bf-33ef9cae0000?fromLogin=success">(Haaretz) </a></p><p>Here&#8217;s an awful, AWFUL story. A woman running for Congress in Surprise, Arizona, was raped while she was out fixing campaign signs. The rapist&#8217;s friend was about to rape her too. And candidate Bernadette Greene-Placentia is the one who felt embarrassed and ashamed. <a href="https://www.phoenixnewtimes.com/news/congressional-candidate-is-raped-while-repairing-her-campaign-signs-40705248/">(Phoenix New Times) </a></p><p>Facebook and Instagram are banning ads and posts from gay bars, like &#8220;pictures of drag queens&#8221; &#8212; not sexxxy slutty drag queens with big nude boobies and such, just &#8220;smiling people dressed in clothes usually worn by the other gender, and also flamboyant makeup&#8221; are not allowed, what is even happening. <a href="https://www.chron.com/culture/article/meta-texas-gay-bar-mistake-22460160.php">(Chron) </a></p><p>The House Equality Caucus won&#8217;t support any Democrats who are shitting on trans friends. GOOD. <a href="https://open.substack.com/pub/erininthemorn/p/equality-caucus-marcy-kapturs-anti?r=elvx&amp;utm_campaign=post&amp;utm_medium=email">(Erin in the Morning) </a>New York City is spending millions on gender care for minors, since all the universities and hospitals noped out like a bunch of chickenshits. <a href="https://gothamist.com/news/nyc-moves-to-spend-nearly-9m-of-gender-affirming-care-fund-for-minors">(Gothamist) </a></p><p>After we knock down all the Trump arches with a hammer, on Day Two we should really do something about revoking Elon Musk&#8217;s citizenship. After all, he did lie for his student visa. Boom: jail. Anyway, all his white supremacist shit in one place. <a href="https://religiondispatches.org/2026/10/06/elon-musk-worlds-richest-human-white-supremacist">(Religion Dispatches)</a></p><p>And a longread on the white supremacist&#8217;s DOGE and its literal invasion of the private US Institute of Peace. <a href="https://www.wsj.com/politics/michael-lewis-colin-obrien-security-doge-institute-of-peace-864b90bf?utm_source=substack&amp;utm_medium=email">(Gift link Wall Street Journal) </a></p><p>We&#8217;re gonna need a sexy, sexy man, STAT! So: <em>Hello, Mr. Gallant!</em> <a href="https://www.nytimes.com/2026/10/07/style/chris-gallant-campaign-photos.html?unlocked_article_code=1.G1E.1sDF.5tGJDChHa16E&amp;smid=url-share">(Gift link New York Times)</a></p><div><hr></div><p style="text-align: center;"><strong><span data-color="#9900ff" style="color: rgb(153, 0, 255);">Have you subscribed to Wonkette today?</span></strong></p><p class="button-wrapper" data-attrs="{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://www.wonkette.com/subscribe?&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Subscribe now&quot;,&quot;action&quot;:null,&quot;class&quot;:null}" data-component-name="ButtonCreateButton"><a class="button primary" href="https://www.wonkette.com/subscribe?"><span>Subscribe now</span></a></p><p style="text-align: center;"><strong><span data-color="#0000ff" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 255);">It would be really helpful if you sent Wonkette to some friends!</span></strong></p><p class="button-wrapper" data-attrs="{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://www.wonkette.com/p/bad-boys-bad-boys-tabs-thurs-april?utm_source=substack&amp;utm_medium=email&amp;utm_content=share&amp;action=share&amp;token=eyJ1c2VyX2lkIjo2ODE1NDksInBvc3RfaWQiOjE5Mjg1NjY0MywiaWF0IjoxNzc1MTQ3NDQxLCJleHAiOjE3Nzc3Mzk0NDEsImlzcyI6InB1Yi0xNzgzMzY3Iiwic3ViIjoicG9zdC1yZWFjdGlvbiJ9.ZPkGYsUp53WXkDyTd9dzxEvUbzBhwg7T5b51FiRC6ks&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Share&quot;,&quot;action&quot;:null,&quot;class&quot;:&quot;button-wrapper&quot;}" data-component-name="ButtonCreateButton"><a class="button primary button-wrapper" href="https://www.wonkette.com/p/bad-boys-bad-boys-tabs-thurs-april?utm_source=substack&amp;utm_medium=email&amp;utm_content=share&amp;action=share&amp;token=eyJ1c2VyX2lkIjo2ODE1NDksInBvc3RfaWQiOjE5Mjg1NjY0MywiaWF0IjoxNzc1MTQ3NDQxLCJleHAiOjE3Nzc3Mzk0NDEsImlzcyI6InB1Yi0xNzgzMzY3Iiwic3ViIjoicG9zdC1yZWFjdGlvbiJ9.ZPkGYsUp53WXkDyTd9dzxEvUbzBhwg7T5b51FiRC6ks"><span>Share</span></a></p><p></p>]]></content:encoded></item><item><title><![CDATA[ABSOLUTELY THE F*CK NOT. Tabs, Wed., Oct. 7, 2026]]></title><description><![CDATA[Morning news roundup!]]></description><link>https://www.wonkette.com/p/absolutely-the-fck-not-tabs-wed-oct</link><guid isPermaLink="false">https://www.wonkette.com/p/absolutely-the-fck-not-tabs-wed-oct</guid><dc:creator><![CDATA[Rebecca Schoenkopf]]></dc:creator><pubDate>Wed, 07 Oct 2026 11:01:51 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/efc62fca-4630-4aa6-92bd-14abe7bd6272_380x214.gif" length="0" type="image/jpeg"/><content:encoded><![CDATA[<div class="captioned-image-container"><figure><div class="image-link image2" data-component-name="Image2ToDOM"><div class="image2-inset"><picture><source type="image/webp" srcset="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!RozY!,w_424,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_lossy/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F4d8477d9-9ac7-469f-9e5a-6155cd357a0c_380x214.gif 424w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!RozY!,w_848,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_lossy/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F4d8477d9-9ac7-469f-9e5a-6155cd357a0c_380x214.gif 848w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!RozY!,w_1272,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_lossy/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F4d8477d9-9ac7-469f-9e5a-6155cd357a0c_380x214.gif 1272w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!RozY!,w_1456,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_lossy/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F4d8477d9-9ac7-469f-9e5a-6155cd357a0c_380x214.gif 1456w" sizes="100vw"><img src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!RozY!,w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_lossy/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F4d8477d9-9ac7-469f-9e5a-6155cd357a0c_380x214.gif" width="554" height="311.9894736842105" data-attrs="{&quot;src&quot;:&quot;https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/4d8477d9-9ac7-469f-9e5a-6155cd357a0c_380x214.gif&quot;,&quot;srcNoWatermark&quot;:null,&quot;fullscreen&quot;:null,&quot;imageSize&quot;:null,&quot;height&quot;:214,&quot;width&quot;:380,&quot;resizeWidth&quot;:554,&quot;bytes&quot;:7963298,&quot;alt&quot;:null,&quot;title&quot;:null,&quot;type&quot;:&quot;image/gif&quot;,&quot;href&quot;:null,&quot;belowTheFold&quot;:false,&quot;topImage&quot;:true,&quot;internalRedirect&quot;:&quot;https://www.wonkette.com/i/219096992?img=https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F4d8477d9-9ac7-469f-9e5a-6155cd357a0c_380x214.gif&quot;,&quot;isProcessing&quot;:false,&quot;align&quot;:null,&quot;offset&quot;:false}" class="sizing-normal" alt="" srcset="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!RozY!,w_424,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_lossy/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F4d8477d9-9ac7-469f-9e5a-6155cd357a0c_380x214.gif 424w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!RozY!,w_848,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_lossy/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F4d8477d9-9ac7-469f-9e5a-6155cd357a0c_380x214.gif 848w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!RozY!,w_1272,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_lossy/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F4d8477d9-9ac7-469f-9e5a-6155cd357a0c_380x214.gif 1272w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!RozY!,w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_lossy/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F4d8477d9-9ac7-469f-9e5a-6155cd357a0c_380x214.gif 1456w" sizes="100vw" fetchpriority="high"></picture><div></div></div></div><figcaption class="image-caption">Tabs gif by your friend Martini Glambassador! </figcaption></figure></div><p></p><div class="callout-block" data-callout="true"><p><strong><mark data-color="#cfe2f3" style="background-color: rgb(207, 226, 243); color: rgb(0, 0, 0);"><span data-color="#0000ff" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 255);">Good morning, terrible ones! This is another good week to subscribe (for money or for free, we like it either way)!</span></mark></strong></p><p></p><p class="button-wrapper" data-attrs="{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://www.wonkette.com/subscribe?&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Subscribe now&quot;,&quot;action&quot;:null,&quot;class&quot;:null}" data-component-name="ButtonCreateButton"><a class="button primary" href="https://www.wonkette.com/subscribe?"><span>Subscribe now</span></a></p><p></p><p><strong><mark data-color="rgb(0, 255, 255)" style="background-color: rgb(0, 255, 255); color: rgb(0, 0, 0);">And if you are holding extra money, and ONLY if it is extra, feel free to slide it in our pockets! The button below will take any amount you like, one-time or monthly, at Paypal!</mark></strong></p><p class="button-wrapper" data-attrs="{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://www.paypal.com/donate/?hosted_button_id=B2H2C68PXBLK4&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Wonkette $ machine!&quot;,&quot;action&quot;:null,&quot;class&quot;:&quot;button-wrapper&quot;}" data-component-name="ButtonCreateButton"><a class="button primary button-wrapper" href="https://www.paypal.com/donate/?hosted_button_id=B2H2C68PXBLK4"><span>Wonkette $ machine!</span></a></p><p style="text-align: center;"></p><p style="text-align: center;"><strong><mark data-color="rgb(234, 209, 220)" style="background-color: rgb(234, 209, 220); color: rgb(0, 0, 0);">Also! A Venmo!</mark></strong></p><p style="text-align: center;"></p><p class="button-wrapper" data-attrs="{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://account.venmo.com/u/Wonkette&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Venmo Wonkette all the $$$!&quot;,&quot;action&quot;:null,&quot;class&quot;:&quot;button-wrapper&quot;}" data-component-name="ButtonCreateButton"><a class="button primary button-wrapper" href="https://account.venmo.com/u/Wonkette"><span>Venmo Wonkette all the $$$!</span></a></p><p></p><p><strong><span data-color="#ff00ff" style="color: rgb(255, 0, 255);">Please NEVER send us money if you would have to go without! We love you.</span></strong></p></div><p>Now here&#8217;s your goddamn tabs! </p><p>How many Kavanaugh Stops have detained (and even deported) American citizens? ProPublica&#8217;s been counting, and it&#8217;s more than 500. <a href="https://projects.propublica.org/american-citizens-detained-dhs-civil-rights/">(ProPublica)</a> </p><p>Justice Samuel Alito recused himself from an Earth-fucking case, <em>on ethical grounds? </em>Who are you and what have you done with Sam Alito. <a href="https://thefuckingnews.substack.com/p/samuel-alito-saves-the-universe?r=elvx&amp;utm_campaign=post&amp;utm_medium=email">(The Fucking News)</a> Relevant! Did you know Jonah Goldberg&#8217;s The Dispatch bought up SCOTUSblog, and installed a bunch of Trump apparatchiks at the top? Gross. <a href="https://ballsandstrikes.org/legal-culture/scotusblog-dispatch-takeover-just-what-the-supreme-court-needed/?utm_source=substack&amp;utm_medium=email">(Balls and Strikes) </a></p><p>Here&#8217;s your new sexy 24-year-old Fuck Joe Biden White House press secretary! </p><div class="instagram-embed-wrap" data-attrs="{&quot;instagram_id&quot;:&quot;DeH2vZamc1P&quot;,&quot;title&quot;:&quot;Instagram&quot;,&quot;author_name&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;thumbnail_url&quot;:&quot;https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/__ss-rehost__IG-snapshot-DeH2vZamc1P.jpg&quot;,&quot;like_count&quot;:null,&quot;comment_count&quot;:null,&quot;profile_pic_url&quot;:null,&quot;follower_count&quot;:null,&quot;timestamp&quot;:null,&quot;belowTheFold&quot;:false}" data-component-name="InstagramToDOM"></div><p>Did Elon Musk steal all the Joe Biden Rural Internet Money? HMMMM Emoji! <a href="https://open.substack.com/pub/moreperfectus/p/we-investigated-starlink-the-corruption?r=elvx&amp;utm_campaign=post&amp;utm_medium=email">(More Perfect Union, video and transcript) </a></p><p>Elon, Palmer Luckey, and Newt Gingrich to run the future of our warfare? ABSOLUTELY THE FUCK NOT. <a href="https://open.substack.com/pub/aaronrupar/p/project-meridian-musk-gingrich-luckey?r=elvx&amp;utm_campaign=post&amp;utm_medium=email">(Paul Waldman at Public Notice) </a></p><p>Trump&#8217;s gross anti-trans slurs on Dr. Annie Andrews, running for US Senate in the now apparently up for grabs <em>South Carolina</em>. (On <em>SNL</em> this weekend, they left the same anti-trans slur out of Pete Hegseth&#8217;s weirdo beardo Gettysburg Address. Which means they didn&#8217;t have to air the slur, but also left out valuable news, which is that Pete Hegseth was very proudly saying the slur. It was a terrible episode besides that anyway.) (Scarlett Johansson&#8217;s husband really does do a great Hegseth though.) <a href="https://open.substack.com/pub/thebulwark/p/grandpa-trump-is-getting-desperate-south-carolina-graham-annie-andrews-poll-midterms?r=elvx&amp;utm_campaign=post&amp;utm_medium=email">(Bill Kristol at The Bulwark) </a></p><p>SER thinks Tina Kotek might fall in Oregon to a Republican, but then he only actually mentions it in one sentence! His column is about Gina Hinojosa instead, which is cool and I enjoyed reading it! But now I have to find out what&#8217;s going on with Tina Kotek. <a href="https://open.substack.com/pub/ser1897/p/on-the-other-hand-tina-kotek-for?r=elvx&amp;utm_campaign=post&amp;utm_medium=email">(The Play Typer Guy)</a> Hmmmm here&#8217;s a wrap-up of her debate with state Sen. Christine Drazan. Apparently they are neck and neck and things got &#8220;feisty&#8221;! <a href="https://www.columbiagorgenews.com/free_news/first-oregon-governor-s-debate-gets-feisty-gov-tina-kotek-and-state-sen-christine-drazan/article_00715313-7a75-4910-a9b6-04bef89d4945.html">(Columbia Gorge News) </a></p><p>Just because Kash Patel fired him doesn&#8217;t mean this guy is <em>good</em> at &#8220;FBI agent&#8221;! Dammmmn dude. <a href="https://open.substack.com/pub/lawandchaospod/p/kash-patel-fires-whistleblower-for?r=elvx&amp;utm_campaign=post&amp;utm_medium=email">(Our Liz at Law and Chaos)</a></p><p>What are these Epstein banker pal FBI interviews the DOJ is illegally hiding? <a href="https://www.finance.senate.gov/ranking-members-news/wyden-demands-immediate-release-of-epstein-investigation-document-illegally-concealed-by-trumps-doj-and-fbi?utm_source=substack&amp;utm_medium=email">(Ron Wyden, Senate Finance Committee)</a></p><p>Laura Bassett moved to Brazil and they immediately elected a bunch of Bolsonaros again. I remember how shocked I was to learn the Philippines had elected Imelda Marcos to their Senate after she robbed them fucking blind, and now the Marcoses&#8217; son Bongbong (for real) is president. People are what even the fuck! <a href="https://open.substack.com/pub/laurabassett/p/nightmare-in-brazil?r=elvx&amp;utm_campaign=post&amp;utm_medium=email">(Nightcap)</a></p><p>Speaking of very stupid people, here is an Italian economist&#8217;s 50-year-old treatise on them, we should all read it! <a href="https://newrepublic.com/article/215721/trump-basic-laws-human-stupidity-carlo-cipolla?utm_source=newsletter&amp;utm_medium=email&amp;utm_campaign=tnr_weekly">(The New Republic) </a></p><p><strong><span data-color="#4a86e8" style="color: rgb(74, 134, 232);">You and I can both buy the Italian economist&#8217;s 50-year-old treatise </span><a href="https://bookshop.org/a/121934/9780385546485"><mark data-color="#00ffff" style="background-color: rgb(0, 255, 255); color: rgb(0, 0, 0);"><span data-color="#4a86e8" style="color: rgb(74, 134, 232);">The Basic Laws of Human Stupidity</span></mark></a><span data-color="#4a86e8" style="color: rgb(74, 134, 232);"> at Bookshop! Bookshop.org is the anti-Amazon, a certified B-corp partnering with local bookstores. Here&#8217;s our </span><a href="https://bookshop.org/shop/wonkette"><mark data-color="rgb(0, 255, 255)" style="background-color: rgb(0, 255, 255); color: rgb(0, 0, 0);"><span data-color="#4a86e8" style="color: rgb(74, 134, 232);">Bookshop affiliate link,</span></mark></a><span data-color="#4a86e8" style="color: rgb(74, 134, 232);"> when you buy books, Wonkette gets </span></strong><em><strong><span data-color="#4a86e8" style="color: rgb(74, 134, 232);">10 percent. </span></strong></em><strong><span data-color="#4a86e8" style="color: rgb(74, 134, 232);">You can search any old book from that page and it will count. Buy all the books!</span></strong></p><div><hr></div><p style="text-align: center;"><strong><span data-color="#9900ff" style="color: rgb(153, 0, 255);">Have you subscribed to Wonkette today?</span></strong></p><p class="button-wrapper" data-attrs="{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://www.wonkette.com/subscribe?&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Subscribe now&quot;,&quot;action&quot;:null,&quot;class&quot;:null}" data-component-name="ButtonCreateButton"><a class="button primary" href="https://www.wonkette.com/subscribe?"><span>Subscribe now</span></a></p><p style="text-align: center;"></p><p style="text-align: center;"><strong><span data-color="#0000ff" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 255);">It would be really helpful if you sent Wonkette to some friends!</span></strong></p><p class="button-wrapper" data-attrs="{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://www.wonkette.com/p/bad-boys-bad-boys-tabs-thurs-april?utm_source=substack&amp;utm_medium=email&amp;utm_content=share&amp;action=share&amp;token=eyJ1c2VyX2lkIjo2ODE1NDksInBvc3RfaWQiOjE5Mjg1NjY0MywiaWF0IjoxNzc1MTQ3NDQxLCJleHAiOjE3Nzc3Mzk0NDEsImlzcyI6InB1Yi0xNzgzMzY3Iiwic3ViIjoicG9zdC1yZWFjdGlvbiJ9.ZPkGYsUp53WXkDyTd9dzxEvUbzBhwg7T5b51FiRC6ks&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Share&quot;,&quot;action&quot;:null,&quot;class&quot;:&quot;button-wrapper&quot;}" data-component-name="ButtonCreateButton"><a class="button primary button-wrapper" href="https://www.wonkette.com/p/bad-boys-bad-boys-tabs-thurs-april?utm_source=substack&amp;utm_medium=email&amp;utm_content=share&amp;action=share&amp;token=eyJ1c2VyX2lkIjo2ODE1NDksInBvc3RfaWQiOjE5Mjg1NjY0MywiaWF0IjoxNzc1MTQ3NDQxLCJleHAiOjE3Nzc3Mzk0NDEsImlzcyI6InB1Yi0xNzgzMzY3Iiwic3ViIjoicG9zdC1yZWFjdGlvbiJ9.ZPkGYsUp53WXkDyTd9dzxEvUbzBhwg7T5b51FiRC6ks"><span>Share</span></a></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p>]]></content:encoded></item><item><title><![CDATA[What Does The Pope Say? Tabs, Fri., Oct. 2, 2026]]></title><description><![CDATA[Morning news roundup!]]></description><link>https://www.wonkette.com/p/what-does-the-pope-say-tabs-fri-oct</link><guid isPermaLink="false">https://www.wonkette.com/p/what-does-the-pope-say-tabs-fri-oct</guid><dc:creator><![CDATA[Rebecca Schoenkopf]]></dc:creator><pubDate>Fri, 02 Oct 2026 11:03:19 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!WC16!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fa332d38a-371c-49f3-8a44-0342460f3c18_600x338.gif" length="0" type="image/jpeg"/><content:encoded><![CDATA[<div class="captioned-image-container"><figure><a class="image-link image2 is-viewable-img" target="_blank" href="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!WC16!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fa332d38a-371c-49f3-8a44-0342460f3c18_600x338.gif" data-component-name="Image2ToDOM"><div class="image2-inset"><picture><source type="image/webp" srcset="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!WC16!,w_424,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_lossy/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fa332d38a-371c-49f3-8a44-0342460f3c18_600x338.gif 424w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!WC16!,w_848,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_lossy/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fa332d38a-371c-49f3-8a44-0342460f3c18_600x338.gif 848w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!WC16!,w_1272,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_lossy/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fa332d38a-371c-49f3-8a44-0342460f3c18_600x338.gif 1272w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!WC16!,w_1456,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_lossy/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fa332d38a-371c-49f3-8a44-0342460f3c18_600x338.gif 1456w" sizes="100vw"><img 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We love you.</span></strong></p></div><p><strong><span data-color="#4a86e8" style="color: rgb(74, 134, 232);">Join ZiggyWiggy Saturday at 9 p.m. Eastern for this week&#8217;s Wonkette Movie Night, </span></strong><em><strong><span data-color="#4a86e8" style="color: rgb(74, 134, 232);">Night Of The Comet</span></strong></em><strong><span data-color="#4a86e8" style="color: rgb(74, 134, 232);">, available with subscription on MGM+; for free with ads on </span><a href="https://youtu.be/OEXzslm0ru8?si=ivUogOuhZT1zi5s6"><span data-color="#4a86e8" style="color: rgb(74, 134, 232);">YouTube</span></a><span data-color="#4a86e8" style="color: rgb(74, 134, 232);">, Tubi, and Pluto TV; $3.99 in the usual places.</span></strong></p><p>And now, your tabs! </p><p>Renee Good&#8217;s family is suing over her senseless, evil murder at the hands of ICE. GOOD. <a href="https://www.startribune.com/live-renee-goods-family-files-lawsuits-over-fatal-shooting-by-ice-agent/601895376?utm_source=gift">(Gift link Star Tribune) </a>From last year: The horns and whistles work! <a href="https://www.motherjones.com/politics/2025/12/the-horns-and-whistles-work/">(Amanda Moore at Mother Jones) </a></p><p>Ken Paxton should leave his <s>wife</s> mistress and hook up with Kyrsten Sinema. Then they can take a trip every other week on the taxpayer dime <em>together</em>. <a href="https://apnews.com/article/ken-paxton-travel-expenses-campaign-texas-talarico-dba14655a17ab0cc4a82f76d4faecd28">(AP)</a></p><p>Tennessee hadn&#8217;t executed a woman in 200 years &#8230; and still hasn&#8217;t. Can&#8217;t even deal with Christa Pike&#8217;s Tennessee failed lethal injection &#8212; she is now in critical condition. Stop this shit! <a href="https://www.cnn.com/2026/10/01/us/christa-pike-execution-tennessee">(CNN)</a> What did the Pope say? <a href="https://open.substack.com/pub/lettersfromleo/p/defying-pope-leo-xiv-bill-lee-christa-pike?r=elvx&amp;utm_campaign=post&amp;utm_medium=email">(Letters From Leo) </a></p><p>Wait a minute, there&#8217;s still a live case about Jack Smith&#8217;s report that Judge Aileen Cannon quashed? I thought it was quashed forever! <a href="https://joycevance.substack.com/p/finally-volume-ii?r=elvx&amp;utm_campaign=post&amp;utm_medium=email">(Joyce Vance) </a></p><p>Is it good that hackers broke into the Pentagon for months, including &#8220;the military&#8217;s &#8216;leading identity management provider,&#8217; which links active service members, employees, and contractors to credentials, such as smart cards and passwords [&#8230;] used to access Pentagon computer systems, buildings, and bases&#8221;? <a href="https://techcrunch.com/2026/09/30/hackers-stole-millions-of-us-military-personnel-records-during-months-long-data-breach/">(TechCrunch) </a></p><p><em>Time</em> magazine did a pretty good job, not that I read the whole thing obviously. But like this was good: </p><blockquote><p><strong>How can the president of peace be calling for the annihilation of an entire people?</strong></p><p>Because by annihilating Iran, we&#8217;ve created peace in the world. With Iran, I don&#8217;t think you could ever have peace.</p></blockquote><p>Oh, okay. <a href="https://time.com/article/2026/10/01/donald-trump-2026-interview-transcript/">(Time) </a></p><p>From Wonker Darryl, I&#8217;m sure he would take it very well should Mark Carney win the Nobel Peace Prize :) <a href="https://deanblundell.substack.com/p/breaking-canadas-mark-carney-favoured?r=elvx&amp;utm_campaign=post-expanded-share&amp;utm_medium=web">(Dean Blundell)</a> </p><p>Another roundup of Kash Patel being a fuckin dumbass, but with one we&#8217;d previously missed: Laughing it up with an informant suspected of being a double agent? Gee, that sounds terrible! <a href="https://www.motherjones.com/politics/2026/09/kash-patel-fbi-scandals-bestiality/">(Mother Jones)</a></p><p>The indispensable Bolts (they should change their name to that, you&#8217;re welcome) with SIX HUNDRED FIFTY elections to watch???? Bolts that is too many elections!!!!! <a href="https://boltsmag.org/whats-on-the-ballot/guide-to-2026-general-election/">(Bolts) </a></p><p>You <em>will not</em> be re-charging the Reflecting Pool Olympian on account of <em>there was no crime committed.</em> <a href="https://www.democracydefendersfund.org/wp-content/uploads/2026/10/100126_DDF-Order-Davey-Hearn.pdf">(Ruling) </a></p><p>Well this kitchen floor isn&#8217;t going to lie on itself. The faith healers of Idaho who are very very bad at faith healing/keeping their children alive. You have been warned. <a href="https://www.propublica.org/article/idaho-faith-healing-multiple-deaths">(ProPublica) </a></p><p>When Nancy Pelosi told Rahm Emanuel to go stuff his &#8220;eensy-weensy bill.&#8221; <a href="https://paulwaldman.substack.com/p/stop-trying-to-make-rahm-emanuel?r=elvx&amp;utm_campaign=post&amp;utm_medium=email">(Paul Waldman) </a></p><p>I miss Polish Freedom Cow Summer. But at least here&#8217;s a capybara on the lam! <a href="https://www.theguardian.com/world/2026/sep/30/in-search-of-samba-the-fearless-fugitive-capybara">(The Guardian) </a></p><div id="youtube2-jofNR_WkoCE" class="youtube-wrap" data-attrs="{&quot;videoId&quot;:&quot;jofNR_WkoCE&quot;,&quot;startTime&quot;:null,&quot;endTime&quot;:null}" data-component-name="Youtube2ToDOM"><div class="youtube-inner"><iframe src="https://www.youtube-nocookie.com/embed/jofNR_WkoCE?rel=0&amp;autoplay=0&amp;showinfo=0&amp;enablejsapi=0" frameborder="0" loading="lazy" gesture="media" allow="autoplay; fullscreen" allowautoplay="true" allowfullscreen="true" width="728" height="409"></iframe></div></div><div><hr></div><p><strong><span data-color="#4a86e8" style="color: rgb(74, 134, 232);">It would be really helpful if you sent Wonkette to some friends!</span></strong></p><p class="button-wrapper" data-attrs="{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://www.wonkette.com/p/bad-boys-bad-boys-tabs-thurs-april?utm_source=substack&amp;utm_medium=email&amp;utm_content=share&amp;action=share&amp;token=eyJ1c2VyX2lkIjo2ODE1NDksInBvc3RfaWQiOjE5Mjg1NjY0MywiaWF0IjoxNzc1MTQ3NDQxLCJleHAiOjE3Nzc3Mzk0NDEsImlzcyI6InB1Yi0xNzgzMzY3Iiwic3ViIjoicG9zdC1yZWFjdGlvbiJ9.ZPkGYsUp53WXkDyTd9dzxEvUbzBhwg7T5b51FiRC6ks&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Share&quot;,&quot;action&quot;:null,&quot;class&quot;:&quot;button-wrapper&quot;}" data-component-name="ButtonCreateButton"><a class="button primary button-wrapper" href="https://www.wonkette.com/p/bad-boys-bad-boys-tabs-thurs-april?utm_source=substack&amp;utm_medium=email&amp;utm_content=share&amp;action=share&amp;token=eyJ1c2VyX2lkIjo2ODE1NDksInBvc3RfaWQiOjE5Mjg1NjY0MywiaWF0IjoxNzc1MTQ3NDQxLCJleHAiOjE3Nzc3Mzk0NDEsImlzcyI6InB1Yi0xNzgzMzY3Iiwic3ViIjoicG9zdC1yZWFjdGlvbiJ9.ZPkGYsUp53WXkDyTd9dzxEvUbzBhwg7T5b51FiRC6ks"><span>Share</span></a></p><div><hr></div><p><strong><span data-color="#0000ff" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 255);">Bookshop.org is the anti-Amazon, a certified B-corp partnering with local bookstores. 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Tabs, Thurs., Oct. 1, 2026]]></title><description><![CDATA[Morning news roundup!]]></description><link>https://www.wonkette.com/p/hard-in-the-paint-tabs-thurs-oct</link><guid isPermaLink="false">https://www.wonkette.com/p/hard-in-the-paint-tabs-thurs-oct</guid><dc:creator><![CDATA[Rebecca Schoenkopf]]></dc:creator><pubDate>Thu, 01 Oct 2026 11:03:45 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!6Q-z!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F1344ca61-a150-4f32-b007-df9a560fe152_400x385.gif" length="0" type="image/jpeg"/><content:encoded><![CDATA[<div class="captioned-image-container"><figure><a class="image-link image2 is-viewable-img" target="_blank" href="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!6Q-z!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F1344ca61-a150-4f32-b007-df9a560fe152_400x385.gif" 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A Venmo!</mark></strong></p><p class="button-wrapper" data-attrs="{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://account.venmo.com/u/Wonkette&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Venmo Wonkette all the $$$!&quot;,&quot;action&quot;:null,&quot;class&quot;:&quot;button-wrapper&quot;}" data-component-name="ButtonCreateButton"><a class="button primary button-wrapper" href="https://account.venmo.com/u/Wonkette"><span>Venmo Wonkette all the $$$!</span></a></p><p></p><p><strong><span data-color="#0000ff" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 255);">Please NEVER send us money if you would have to go without! We love you.</span></strong></p></div><p>Now onto these tabs! </p><p>Please don&#8217;t try to crash airplanes, that&#8217;s awful! <a href="https://www.reuters.com/world/pilot-brawl-then-rapid-descent-passengers-recount-chaos-flydubai-flight-2026-09-30/">(Reuters) </a></p><p>Yesterday&#8217;s Schmittacular was so much fun, let&#8217;s see what everybody else had to laugh about it! Hahahaha, they made Our Liz asterisk &#8220;f*ckup.&#8221; Good lord, if only Merrick Garland had even <em>thought</em> about abusing his office to git Trump. <a href="https://open.substack.com/pub/aaronrupar/p/eric-schmitt-jack-smith?r=elvx&amp;utm_campaign=post&amp;utm_medium=email">(Public Notice) </a>This is a problem though: On the Right, they&#8217;re pretending the gotcha was true, and since Eric Schmitt is a brazen liar, he&#8217;s going with it. <a href="https://open.substack.com/pub/thebulwark/p/eric-schmitts-the-bed-judiciary-jack-smith-fani-willis-basketball-embarrassment-oops-trump-ai-executives-si-regulation?r=elvx&amp;utm_campaign=post&amp;utm_medium=email">(The Bulwark)</a> And the corporate media? Well it&#8217;s just a &#8220;gaffe&#8221; and a whoopsie! <a href="https://thefuckingnews.substack.com/p/what-everyone-got-wrong-about-jack?r=elvx&amp;utm_campaign=post&amp;utm_medium=email">(The Fucking News) </a>The best part of this one is the inclusion of the local (to Schmitt) St. Louis news team covering it like a sports story, because basketball, but going pretty fuckin hard in the paint. <a href="https://statuskuo.substack.com/p/mr-schmitt-goes-to-washingtonand?r=elvx&amp;utm_campaign=post&amp;utm_medium=email">(Status Kuo)</a></p><p>The many many ways Trump&#8217;s plan to force elections officials to send mail ballots via certified mail &#8212; including you would have to be home to sign for it LOL &#8212; was stupid and the worst! <a href="https://www.propublica.org/article/trumps-plan-to-restrict-mail-voting?utm_source=NOTUS+Newsletter+Audience&amp;utm_campaign=c56cd7dc55-EMAIL_CAMPAIGN_2026_09_29_03_30&amp;utm_medium=email&amp;utm_term=0_-c56cd7dc55-745265667&amp;mc_cid=c56cd7dc55&amp;mc_eid=a641dd7146">(ProPublica) </a></p><p>Stop stop, James Talarico! He&#8217;s already dead! </p><div class="bluesky-wrap outer" style="height: auto; display: flex; justify-content: center; margin-bottom: 24px;" data-attrs="{&quot;postId&quot;:&quot;3mwoqm3xzat2j&quot;,&quot;authorDid&quot;:&quot;did:plc:vfr7coufv4dn52ds6seily2m&quot;,&quot;authorName&quot;:&quot;Team Talarico&quot;,&quot;authorHandle&quot;:&quot;teamtalaricohq.bsky.social&quot;,&quot;authorAvatarUrl&quot;:&quot;https://cdn.bsky.app/img/avatar/plain/did:plc:vfr7coufv4dn52ds6seily2m/bafkreih3g7ofmufavcd3isjxbmxjebabxp4q22cped3kvgap3w7zdayepy&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;NEW AD: Today on House Hunters, Ken Paxton is shopping for a new house.\n\nWill he buy the three-story luxury lodge in Oklahoma? The condos at a wellness resort in Utah? The ocean-view property in Hawaii?\n\n(Spoiler alert: He won&#8217;t take one &#8212; he&#8217;ll take 15.)&quot;,&quot;createdAt&quot;:&quot;2026-09-29T21:12:32.943Z&quot;,&quot;uri&quot;:&quot;at://did:plc:vfr7coufv4dn52ds6seily2m/app.bsky.feed.post/3mwoqm3xzat2j&quot;,&quot;imageUrls&quot;:[&quot;https://video.bsky.app/watch/did%3Aplc%3Avfr7coufv4dn52ds6seily2m/bafkreie74xdbh24llw27zhvqo332xw62yksjucpie5pvwiqc5nhisqiswy/thumbnail.jpg&quot;]}" data-component-name="BlueskyCreateBlueskyEmbed"><iframe id="bluesky-3mwoqm3xzat2j" data-bluesky-id="6948659813418292" src="https://embed.bsky.app/embed/did:plc:vfr7coufv4dn52ds6seily2m/app.bsky.feed.post/3mwoqm3xzat2j?id=6948659813418292" width="100%" style="display: block; flex-grow: 1; max-width: 600px;" frameborder="0" scrolling="no"></iframe></div><p>Wait a minute, Texas moms don&#8217;t just want private school vouchers and actually want their kids&#8217;s public schools to be good instead? And that&#8217;s an opening for Gina Hinojosa because this midterm&#8217;s <em>wild?</em> <a href="https://19thnews.org/2026/09/conservative-voters-texas-public-schools-gina-hinojosa/">(The 19th News) </a></p><p>Prosecutors charging Venezuelan man for assaulting their bullet with his back. <a href="https://apnews.com/article/ice-shooting-austin-texas-wilber-rafael-garcesperez-e3ca63b090ee1b33ee154eecb99e3311">(AP) </a></p><p>Todd Blanche filing complaints against Minnesota judges for tort of aggravated said shit he ain&#8217;t like. <a href="https://news.bloomberglaw.com/us-law-week/doj-accuses-minnesota-judges-of-misconduct-over-media-remarks">(Bloomberg Law) </a></p><p>It&#8217;s not shocking that DNA shows this Black man convicted of murdering a white woman didn&#8217;t do it; what&#8217;s shocking is that Utah released him from prison. <a href="https://apnews.com/article/utah-death-row-douglas-carter-eva-olesen-10c0bf7603c87b214e0179ecf7a4be94">(AP)</a></p><p>Kyrsten Sinema&#8217;s married PTSD (?) vet ex-boyfriend trashed her house and blamed it on her being all up in Palantir. Yikes all around! <a href="https://www.alternet.org/kyrsten-sinema-ex-boyfriend/">(Alternet) </a></p><p>Me too, David Bernstein! Me too!</p><blockquote><p>I can&#8217;t get over the fact that the President offered $5,000 to every adult American, and adult Americans, according to polls, said &#8220;Ugh, would you please stop bothering me with your lame ideas?&#8221;</p></blockquote><p><a href="https://goodpoliticsbadpolitics.substack.com/p/voters-seem-annoyed?r=elvx&amp;utm_campaign=post&amp;utm_medium=email">(Good Politics Bad Politics) </a></p><p></p><div class="bluesky-wrap outer" style="height: auto; display: flex; justify-content: center; margin-bottom: 24px;" data-attrs="{&quot;postId&quot;:&quot;3mwnrqztlt722&quot;,&quot;authorDid&quot;:&quot;did:plc:ormu73fjcw6m2pdv7nlyyxnt&quot;,&quot;authorName&quot;:&quot;Sherrod Brown&quot;,&quot;authorHandle&quot;:&quot;sherrodbrownoh.bsky.social&quot;,&quot;authorAvatarUrl&quot;:&quot;https://cdn.bsky.app/img/avatar/plain/did:plc:ormu73fjcw6m2pdv7nlyyxnt/bafkreicrp6son3gfonn7lhhqpvkupjro662sdiktcayw6xcvflyu7yjqki&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;NEW AD: Listen to this sh*t.&quot;,&quot;createdAt&quot;:&quot;2026-09-29T12:00:32.228Z&quot;,&quot;uri&quot;:&quot;at://did:plc:ormu73fjcw6m2pdv7nlyyxnt/app.bsky.feed.post/3mwnrqztlt722&quot;,&quot;imageUrls&quot;:[&quot;https://video.bsky.app/watch/did%3Aplc%3Aormu73fjcw6m2pdv7nlyyxnt/bafkreihlvcp4xag7o5cwj24z46g2rthdzy4azy32eiiz6lcmqnpvj7fzmu/thumbnail.jpg&quot;]}" data-component-name="BlueskyCreateBlueskyEmbed"><iframe id="bluesky-3mwnrqztlt722" data-bluesky-id="7015227727491049" src="https://embed.bsky.app/embed/did:plc:ormu73fjcw6m2pdv7nlyyxnt/app.bsky.feed.post/3mwnrqztlt722?id=7015227727491049" width="100%" style="display: block; flex-grow: 1; max-width: 600px;" frameborder="0" scrolling="no"></iframe></div><p>This is just absolutely stupid: Sean Duffy has moved on from yelling at travelers to put a suit on and instead wants TSA agents to <em>stand</em> for however many hours they&#8217;re checking our IDs. Why? To be a dick, I guess! <a href="https://abc7.com/story/tsa-officers-now-not-allowed-sit-down-checking-boarding-passes-ids/19889569/">(ABC News) </a></p><p>Made it five extremely short paragraphs into this article about the &#8220;theobros,&#8221; how far will you make it? <a href="https://religionnews.com/2026/09/24/the-rise-of-the-jim-crow-theobros/?fbclid=IwRlRTSAUjN0hleHRuA2FlbQIxMABwZG9mBWZkaWQWUPHIxJauB8jLTZPxxIZc5kMSh-n5v3NydGMGYXBwX2lkCjY2Mjg1NjgzNzkAAR7Uu4DpjiSnwuTaLj3C_LZE00c2ft23b0iDfDN_E7R-XZuc1Cuymh2Dj8QVIA_aem_NQ7xirBgDQQKdjd3HTk5kQ">(Religion News) </a></p><p>Sicily used to smell like orange blossoms but then came the Mafia (kleptocapitalism) and climate change. <a href="https://www.fodors.com/world/europe/italy/sicily/experiences/news/did-organized-crime-rid-italy-of-its-signature-citrus-scent">(Fodor&#8217;s)</a></p><div id="youtube2-a0fVD_dWWpA" class="youtube-wrap" data-attrs="{&quot;videoId&quot;:&quot;a0fVD_dWWpA&quot;,&quot;startTime&quot;:null,&quot;endTime&quot;:null}" data-component-name="Youtube2ToDOM"><div class="youtube-inner"><iframe src="https://www.youtube-nocookie.com/embed/a0fVD_dWWpA?rel=0&amp;autoplay=0&amp;showinfo=0&amp;enablejsapi=0" frameborder="0" loading="lazy" gesture="media" allow="autoplay; fullscreen" allowautoplay="true" allowfullscreen="true" width="728" height="409"></iframe></div></div><div><hr></div><p><strong><span data-color="#6aa84f" style="color: rgb(106, 168, 79);">It would be really helpful if you sent Wonkette to some friends!</span></strong></p><p class="button-wrapper" data-attrs="{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://www.wonkette.com/p/bad-boys-bad-boys-tabs-thurs-april?utm_source=substack&amp;utm_medium=email&amp;utm_content=share&amp;action=share&amp;token=eyJ1c2VyX2lkIjo2ODE1NDksInBvc3RfaWQiOjE5Mjg1NjY0MywiaWF0IjoxNzc1MTQ3NDQxLCJleHAiOjE3Nzc3Mzk0NDEsImlzcyI6InB1Yi0xNzgzMzY3Iiwic3ViIjoicG9zdC1yZWFjdGlvbiJ9.ZPkGYsUp53WXkDyTd9dzxEvUbzBhwg7T5b51FiRC6ks&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Share&quot;,&quot;action&quot;:null,&quot;class&quot;:&quot;button-wrapper&quot;}" data-component-name="ButtonCreateButton"><a class="button primary button-wrapper" href="https://www.wonkette.com/p/bad-boys-bad-boys-tabs-thurs-april?utm_source=substack&amp;utm_medium=email&amp;utm_content=share&amp;action=share&amp;token=eyJ1c2VyX2lkIjo2ODE1NDksInBvc3RfaWQiOjE5Mjg1NjY0MywiaWF0IjoxNzc1MTQ3NDQxLCJleHAiOjE3Nzc3Mzk0NDEsImlzcyI6InB1Yi0xNzgzMzY3Iiwic3ViIjoicG9zdC1yZWFjdGlvbiJ9.ZPkGYsUp53WXkDyTd9dzxEvUbzBhwg7T5b51FiRC6ks"><span>Share</span></a></p><div><hr></div><p><strong><span data-color="#0000ff" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 255);">Bookshop.org is the anti-Amazon, a certified B-corp partnering with local bookstores. 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Tabs, Wed., Sept. 30, 2026]]></title><description><![CDATA[Morning news roundup!]]></description><link>https://www.wonkette.com/p/schmitts-creek-tabs-wed-sept-30-2026</link><guid isPermaLink="false">https://www.wonkette.com/p/schmitts-creek-tabs-wed-sept-30-2026</guid><dc:creator><![CDATA[Rebecca Schoenkopf]]></dc:creator><pubDate>Wed, 30 Sep 2026 11:03:55 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/b5b36568-a9a1-4aba-b702-7c61d0e916a8_240x312.gif" length="0" type="image/jpeg"/><content:encoded><![CDATA[<div class="captioned-image-container"><figure><a class="image-link image2 is-viewable-img" target="_blank" href="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!226h!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F3c6e8464-df83-4b1a-9a08-b2819c357b39_240x312.gif" data-component-name="Image2ToDOM"><div class="image2-inset"><picture><source type="image/webp" 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US MONEY IF YOU WOULD HAVE TO GO WITHOUT.</span> </strong>We love you. </p><p>If you&#8217;re holding extra money and ONLY if you&#8217;re holding extra money, this would be a great time to either up and subscribe to Wonkette </p><p class="button-wrapper" data-attrs="{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://www.wonkette.com/subscribe?&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Subscribe now&quot;,&quot;action&quot;:null,&quot;class&quot;:null}" data-component-name="ButtonCreateButton"><a class="button primary" href="https://www.wonkette.com/subscribe?"><span>Subscribe now</span></a></p><p>or to send us a one-time or recurring donation via Paypal! </p><p class="button-wrapper" data-attrs="{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://www.paypal.com/donate/?hosted_button_id=FVK86AVH5HKBS&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;because you love us&quot;,&quot;action&quot;:null,&quot;class&quot;:null}" data-component-name="ButtonCreateButton"><a class="button primary" href="https://www.paypal.com/donate/?hosted_button_id=FVK86AVH5HKBS"><span>because you love us</span></a></p><p>Also! A Venmo!</p><p class="button-wrapper" data-attrs="{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://account.venmo.com/u/Wonkette&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Venmo Wonkette all the $$$!&quot;,&quot;action&quot;:null,&quot;class&quot;:&quot;button-wrapper&quot;}" data-component-name="ButtonCreateButton"><a class="button primary button-wrapper" href="https://account.venmo.com/u/Wonkette"><span>Venmo Wonkette all the $$$!</span></a></p><p></p></div><p>Now tabs ahoy! </p><p>This was &#8230; HOO DANG. Missouri Sen. Eric Schmitt covers self in glory during the Jack Smith hearings (but Amy Klobs does literally cover self in glory, well done Senator Ma&#8217;am) o.O</p><div class="bluesky-wrap outer" style="height: auto; display: flex; justify-content: center; margin-bottom: 24px;" data-attrs="{&quot;postId&quot;:&quot;3mwo47u27gs2h&quot;,&quot;authorDid&quot;:&quot;did:plc:4llrhdclvdlmmynkwsmg5tdc&quot;,&quot;authorName&quot;:&quot;Aaron Rupar&quot;,&quot;authorHandle&quot;:&quot;atrupar.com&quot;,&quot;authorAvatarUrl&quot;:&quot;https://cdn.bsky.app/img/avatar/plain/did:plc:4llrhdclvdlmmynkwsmg5tdc/bafkreibmhm3h6ar52pogvolisrzjdhwa2myras5vkxzj67twxn2l6pogwu&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;&#129313; Schmitt beclowns himself &#129313;\n\nSchmitt concocted an elaborate conspiracy theory that Smith traveled to Atl for a Hawks game and to collude with Fani Willis, &amp; flashed his \&quot;evidence\&quot; before accusing Smith of perjury. There's just one problem -- his facts were totally wrong.\n\nHere's the whole sequence:&quot;,&quot;createdAt&quot;:&quot;2026-09-29T15:07:47.311Z&quot;,&quot;uri&quot;:&quot;at://did:plc:4llrhdclvdlmmynkwsmg5tdc/app.bsky.feed.post/3mwo47u27gs2h&quot;,&quot;imageUrls&quot;:[&quot;https://video.bsky.app/watch/did%3Aplc%3A4llrhdclvdlmmynkwsmg5tdc/bafkreic4orpj55ybl4ldvynvhuwbu37czg6z5dxfdhks4f2xy4hyryqwei/thumbnail.jpg&quot;]}" data-component-name="BlueskyCreateBlueskyEmbed"><iframe id="bluesky-3mwo47u27gs2h" data-bluesky-id="6293163489817182" src="https://embed.bsky.app/embed/did:plc:4llrhdclvdlmmynkwsmg5tdc/app.bsky.feed.post/3mwo47u27gs2h?id=6293163489817182" width="100%" style="display: block; flex-grow: 1; max-width: 600px;" frameborder="0" scrolling="no"></iframe></div><p>Oh yes, very please, a Vance/Schmitt ticket in 2028 :D <a href="https://www.axios.com/2026/09/29/eric-schmitt-jd-vance-vice-president-vp-2028">(Axios) </a></p><p>Supreme Court bad some more, says Trump and Stephen Miller can continue sending immigrants to countries they&#8217;re not from, for torture purposes, until the Court gives them its official imprimatur later in the term. <a href="https://www.cnn.com/2026/09/29/politics/supreme-court-allows-trump-to-restart-controversial-deportations-to-third-countries?cid=ios_app">(CNN) </a>Democrats agree: Supreme Court bout to get PACKED. <a href="https://badfaithtimes.com/theyve-seen-enough-democratic-voters-are-al/">(Bad Faith Times)</a> </p><p>Oh, none of the people on the voter rolls were noncitizens and Secretary of Homeland Security Markwayne Waynemark is just lying? Well I don&#8217;t believe you. <a href="https://newrepublic.com/post/215840/dhs-witch-hunt-cant-name-single-noncitizen-voter-nevada">(The New Republic) </a></p><p>Of course Trump is trying to cheat, but so far it&#8217;s not succeeding, this time! <a href="https://open.substack.com/pub/noahberlatsky/p/trump-wouldnt-promise-cash-if-hed?r=elvx&amp;utm_campaign=post&amp;utm_medium=email">(Everything Is Horrible) </a></p><p>Nobody will run ads for Alex Gibney&#8217;s Musk documentary, because did you know Youtube won&#8217;t run &#8220;political&#8221; ads? What a fun thing to learn. <a href="https://www.hollywoodreporter.com/business/digital/elon-musk-documentary-trailer-rejected-tiktok-youtube-1236710259/">(Hollywood Reporter)</a> Oh did they say they wouldn&#8217;t accept those ads? They&#8217;ve changed their minds, they think, maybe. <a href="https://paulwaldman.substack.com/p/the-billionaires-have-met-free-speech?r=elvx&amp;utm_campaign=post&amp;utm_medium=email">(Paul Waldman) </a></p><div><hr></div><p><strong><mark data-color="#00ffff" style="background-color: rgb(0, 255, 255); color: rgb(0, 0, 0);">Wonkette has no ads and no paywall ever. Subscribe with money or for free, we like it either way!</mark></strong></p><p class="button-wrapper" data-attrs="{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://www.wonkette.com/subscribe?&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Subscribe now&quot;,&quot;action&quot;:null,&quot;class&quot;:null}" data-component-name="ButtonCreateButton"><a class="button primary" href="https://www.wonkette.com/subscribe?"><span>Subscribe now</span></a></p><p><strong><mark data-color="#fff2cc" style="background-color: rgb(255, 242, 204); color: rgb(0, 0, 0);">The button below will take any amount you like, one-time or monthly, at Paypal!</mark></strong></p><p class="button-wrapper" data-attrs="{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://www.paypal.com/donate/?hosted_button_id=B2H2C68PXBLK4&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Wonkette $ machine!&quot;,&quot;action&quot;:null,&quot;class&quot;:&quot;button-wrapper&quot;}" data-component-name="ButtonCreateButton"><a class="button primary button-wrapper" href="https://www.paypal.com/donate/?hosted_button_id=B2H2C68PXBLK4"><span>Wonkette $ machine!</span></a></p><p style="text-align: center;"><strong><mark data-color="#c9daf8" style="background-color: rgb(201, 218, 248); color: rgb(0, 0, 0);">Also! A Venmo!</mark></strong></p><p class="button-wrapper" data-attrs="{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://account.venmo.com/u/Wonkette&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Venmo Wonkette all the $$$!&quot;,&quot;action&quot;:null,&quot;class&quot;:&quot;button-wrapper&quot;}" data-component-name="ButtonCreateButton"><a class="button primary button-wrapper" href="https://account.venmo.com/u/Wonkette"><span>Venmo Wonkette all the $$$!</span></a></p><div><hr></div><p>Unsure if you guys can read this one without a subscription, but WHO THE FUCK PUT KURT SCHLICHTER IN CHARGE OF DEWOKING THE WAR ACADEMIES. <a href="https://www.wired.com/story/a-pentagon-influencer-called-liberal-women-a-pestilence-who-will-end-western-civilization/">(Wired) </a></p><p>Trump&#8217;s literal biggest fans want him impeached now. It is genuinely nice to see Americans able to incorporate new (to them) information and not double down. <a href="https://www.politico.com/newsletters/playbook/2026/09/28/trumps-joes-exit-the-front-row-01094720?utm_source=substack&amp;utm_medium=email">(Politico, reg. req.)</a></p><p>Does deporting our Latino friends have literally any economic benefit for born-Americans? The answer will not surprise you because you&#8217;re not stupid. Charts for all you nerds at link! <a href="https://newsletter.mikekonczal.com/p/can-we-find-literally-any-sign-deportations">(Mike Konczal) </a></p><p>How to be a red state Democrat and not be weird about trans friends! Andy Beshear is how you do it. <a href="https://open.substack.com/pub/erininthemorn/p/ky-gov-beshear-has-message-for-anti?r=elvx&amp;utm_campaign=post-expanded-share&amp;utm_medium=web">(Erin in the Morning)</a> </p><p>What do Miami real estate agents tell you about climate change? You&#8217;re not going to believe this, but a bunch of lies! <a href="https://heated.world/p/the-open-houses-at-the-edge-of-disaster">(Heated) </a></p><p>Nice Time! Shepherd Night School! <a href="https://www.npr.org/2026/09/27/g-s1-143582/night-school-shepherds-lesotho?utm_medium=social&amp;utm_campaign=npr&amp;utm_source=bsky.app&amp;utm_term=nprnews">(NPR) </a></p><p>Nice Time! The raccoons who make balls and play with coati! Of note: &#8220;The females&#8217; mother also tried making balls but failed, the researchers said, seemingly because she was drunk.&#8221; Margaritas for everyone! <a href="https://www.nytimes.com/2026/09/25/science/raccoons-toys-cozumel-mexico-research.html?unlocked_article_code=1.EVE.k_9y.pRb5Q8T--VB-&amp;smid=url-share">(Gift link New York Times) </a></p><p>Malcolm Gladwell (I know he sucks, but he sucks so readably!) on the old Southern progressives and trading racism for vile classist misogyny in <em>To Kill A Mockingbird.</em> OUCH! <a href="https://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2009/08/10/the-courthouse-ring">(Old New Yorker)</a> </p><p>I didn&#8217;t know hardly any of this stuff about Antifa Dorothy Parker. I wonder what dialogue she polished up on <em>It&#8217;s A Wonderful Life</em>, I bet all the funny and Antifa parts. <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dorothy_Parker#:~:text=Dorothy%20Parker%20(n%C3%A9e%20Rothschild%3B%20August,eye%20for%2020th%2Dcentury%20urban%20foibles.">(Wik) </a></p><div><hr></div><p><strong><span data-color="#1155cc" style="color: rgb(17, 85, 204);">It would be really helpful if you sent Wonkette to some friends!</span></strong></p><p class="button-wrapper" data-attrs="{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://www.wonkette.com/p/bad-boys-bad-boys-tabs-thurs-april?utm_source=substack&amp;utm_medium=email&amp;utm_content=share&amp;action=share&amp;token=eyJ1c2VyX2lkIjo2ODE1NDksInBvc3RfaWQiOjE5Mjg1NjY0MywiaWF0IjoxNzc1MTQ3NDQxLCJleHAiOjE3Nzc3Mzk0NDEsImlzcyI6InB1Yi0xNzgzMzY3Iiwic3ViIjoicG9zdC1yZWFjdGlvbiJ9.ZPkGYsUp53WXkDyTd9dzxEvUbzBhwg7T5b51FiRC6ks&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Share&quot;,&quot;action&quot;:null,&quot;class&quot;:&quot;button-wrapper&quot;}" data-component-name="ButtonCreateButton"><a class="button primary button-wrapper" href="https://www.wonkette.com/p/bad-boys-bad-boys-tabs-thurs-april?utm_source=substack&amp;utm_medium=email&amp;utm_content=share&amp;action=share&amp;token=eyJ1c2VyX2lkIjo2ODE1NDksInBvc3RfaWQiOjE5Mjg1NjY0MywiaWF0IjoxNzc1MTQ3NDQxLCJleHAiOjE3Nzc3Mzk0NDEsImlzcyI6InB1Yi0xNzgzMzY3Iiwic3ViIjoicG9zdC1yZWFjdGlvbiJ9.ZPkGYsUp53WXkDyTd9dzxEvUbzBhwg7T5b51FiRC6ks"><span>Share</span></a></p><div><hr></div><p><strong><span data-color="#ff00ff" style="color: rgb(255, 0, 255);">Bookshop.org is the anti-Amazon, a certified B-corp partnering with local bookstores. Here&#8217;s our </span><a href="https://bookshop.org/shop/wonkette"><mark data-color="rgb(0, 255, 255)" style="background-color: rgb(0, 255, 255); color: rgb(0, 0, 0);"><span data-color="#ff00ff" style="color: rgb(255, 0, 255);">Bookshop affiliate link,</span></mark></a><span data-color="#ff00ff" style="color: rgb(255, 0, 255);"> when you buy books, Wonkette gets </span></strong><em><strong><span data-color="#ff00ff" style="color: rgb(255, 0, 255);">10 percent. </span></strong></em><strong><span data-color="#ff00ff" style="color: rgb(255, 0, 255);">You can search any old book from that page and it will count. Ima buy </span><a href="https://bookshop.org/a/121934/9780143039532"><mark data-color="#00ffff" style="background-color: rgb(0, 255, 255); color: rgb(0, 0, 0);"><span data-color="#ff00ff" style="color: rgb(255, 0, 255);">this Dorothy Parker.</span></mark></a><span data-color="#ff00ff" style="color: rgb(255, 0, 255);"> Buy all the books!</span></strong></p><div><hr></div><p style="text-align: center;"><strong><span data-color="#9900ff" style="color: rgb(153, 0, 255);">Have you subscribed to Wonkette today?</span></strong></p><p class="button-wrapper" data-attrs="{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://www.wonkette.com/subscribe?&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Subscribe now&quot;,&quot;action&quot;:null,&quot;class&quot;:null}" data-component-name="ButtonCreateButton"><a class="button primary" href="https://www.wonkette.com/subscribe?"><span>Subscribe now</span></a></p>]]></content:encoded></item><item><title><![CDATA[Just Say No (To Trump Bribes). Tabs, Fri., Sept. 25, 2026]]></title><description><![CDATA[Good morning, it&#8217;s your news roundup!]]></description><link>https://www.wonkette.com/p/just-say-no-to-trump-bribes-tabs</link><guid isPermaLink="false">https://www.wonkette.com/p/just-say-no-to-trump-bribes-tabs</guid><dc:creator><![CDATA[Rebecca Schoenkopf]]></dc:creator><pubDate>Fri, 25 Sep 2026 11:03:08 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/162d1c6c-9685-4d68-9e94-4cff48d33f5b_380x214.gif" length="0" type="image/jpeg"/><content:encoded><![CDATA[<div class="captioned-image-container"><figure><div class="image-link image2" data-component-name="Image2ToDOM"><div class="image2-inset"><picture><source type="image/webp" srcset="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!PFzW!,w_424,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_lossy/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F285ac82e-14b3-4e19-b43c-7d649adbf138_380x214.gif 424w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!PFzW!,w_848,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_lossy/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F285ac82e-14b3-4e19-b43c-7d649adbf138_380x214.gif 848w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!PFzW!,w_1272,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_lossy/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F285ac82e-14b3-4e19-b43c-7d649adbf138_380x214.gif 1272w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!PFzW!,w_1456,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_lossy/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F285ac82e-14b3-4e19-b43c-7d649adbf138_380x214.gif 1456w" sizes="100vw"><img src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!PFzW!,w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_lossy/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F285ac82e-14b3-4e19-b43c-7d649adbf138_380x214.gif" width="552" height="310.86315789473684" data-attrs="{&quot;src&quot;:&quot;https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/285ac82e-14b3-4e19-b43c-7d649adbf138_380x214.gif&quot;,&quot;srcNoWatermark&quot;:null,&quot;fullscreen&quot;:null,&quot;imageSize&quot;:null,&quot;height&quot;:214,&quot;width&quot;:380,&quot;resizeWidth&quot;:552,&quot;bytes&quot;:8577453,&quot;alt&quot;:null,&quot;title&quot;:null,&quot;type&quot;:&quot;image/gif&quot;,&quot;href&quot;:null,&quot;belowTheFold&quot;:false,&quot;topImage&quot;:true,&quot;internalRedirect&quot;:&quot;https://www.wonkette.com/i/217236317?img=https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F285ac82e-14b3-4e19-b43c-7d649adbf138_380x214.gif&quot;,&quot;isProcessing&quot;:false,&quot;align&quot;:null,&quot;offset&quot;:false}" class="sizing-normal" alt="" srcset="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!PFzW!,w_424,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_lossy/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F285ac82e-14b3-4e19-b43c-7d649adbf138_380x214.gif 424w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!PFzW!,w_848,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_lossy/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F285ac82e-14b3-4e19-b43c-7d649adbf138_380x214.gif 848w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!PFzW!,w_1272,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_lossy/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F285ac82e-14b3-4e19-b43c-7d649adbf138_380x214.gif 1272w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!PFzW!,w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_lossy/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F285ac82e-14b3-4e19-b43c-7d649adbf138_380x214.gif 1456w" sizes="100vw" fetchpriority="high"></picture><div></div></div></div><figcaption class="image-caption">Tabs gif by your friend Martini Glambassador!</figcaption></figure></div><div class="callout-block" data-callout="true"><p><strong><span data-color="#1155cc" style="color: rgb(17, 85, 204);">Join your friend ZiggyWiggy for Wonkette Movie Night, Saturday at 9 p.m. Eastern. You will be watching </span></strong><em><strong><span data-color="#1155cc" style="color: rgb(17, 85, 204);">Lifeforce,</span></strong></em><strong><span data-color="#1155cc" style="color: rgb(17, 85, 204);"> available with subscription on MGM+; free with ads on Tubi and The Roku Channel; $3.99 in the usual places.</span></strong></p></div><p>Good morning good morning, it&#8217;s time for your tabs! </p><p>&#8220;<strong>Our new poll finds that voters saw Trump&#8217;s $5,000 checks as a bribe.</strong> Trump&#8217;s approval is 33% with 63% disapproving in our September <em>Strength In Numbers</em>/Verasight poll, and Democrats lead the generic ballot by 10 among likely voters. Trump&#8217;s promise to send every American adult $5,000 if Republicans win the midterm is underwater by 18 points generally, with 66% of U.S. adults (64% of Republicans) calling it inappropriate. <strong>A plurality of Republicans believe Trump made his promise just to win more votes and doesn&#8217;t intend to actually send checks.&#8221; </strong>(My bold at the end.) <a href="https://open.substack.com/pub/gelliottmorris/p/2026-09-24-podcast-episode-democrats-blue-wave-midterms?r=elvx&amp;utm_campaign=post&amp;utm_medium=email">(G. Elliott Morris)  </a></p><p>What about Trump&#8217;s possible diesel export ban, is that a good idea that will help gas prices and everything that is transported by a truck? Reader: No. <a href="https://paulkrugman.substack.com/p/donald-the-deadbeat-does-diesel?r=elvx&amp;utm_campaign=post&amp;utm_medium=email">(Krugman) </a></p><p>How many Americans are being thrown off Obamacare because an AI model projected they would in the future make too much money? No way to know that! <a href="https://charlesgaba.substack.com/p/breaking-vanceoz-to-kick-760000-off">(ACA Signups)</a> </p><p>Oh yeah, we need to slash-and-burn Stephen Miller&#8217;s wet dream &#8220;Office of Remigration.&#8221; <a href="https://newrepublic.com/article/215752/stephen-miller-remigration-maga-campaign-leaks">(The New Republic)</a> </p><p>Oh man, Senator Kindly Doc Marshall <em>in trouble</em> :) </p><div class="bluesky-wrap outer" style="height: auto; display: flex; justify-content: center; margin-bottom: 24px;" data-attrs="{&quot;postId&quot;:&quot;3mwbmjg2sdc22&quot;,&quot;authorDid&quot;:&quot;did:plc:uwu2axxotgetzx7ss4gjrq66&quot;,&quot;authorName&quot;:&quot;Adam Hamilton&quot;,&quot;authorHandle&quot;:&quot;hamilton4kansas.bsky.social&quot;,&quot;authorAvatarUrl&quot;:&quot;https://cdn.bsky.app/img/avatar/plain/did:plc:uwu2axxotgetzx7ss4gjrq66/bafkreicvey55c2k6yrxvlcgrq2psrcmvo5qdv57cenithjvbemh4bdpkcq&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Arch \&quot;Pond\&quot; Naramore ran against Marshall in the Republican primary. He spent $120 on an ad in Grass and Grain and earned more than 20% of the vote.\n\nKansans of every political party agree: Roger Marshall isn't getting the job done.&quot;,&quot;createdAt&quot;:&quot;2026-09-24T15:54:51.465Z&quot;,&quot;uri&quot;:&quot;at://did:plc:uwu2axxotgetzx7ss4gjrq66/app.bsky.feed.post/3mwbmjg2sdc22&quot;,&quot;imageUrls&quot;:[&quot;https://video.bsky.app/watch/did%3Aplc%3Auwu2axxotgetzx7ss4gjrq66/bafkreidkaflru2juz5l6oxp7p56qwvsoyrmh7khq3kv7avubalqs4uwv34/thumbnail.jpg&quot;]}" data-component-name="BlueskyCreateBlueskyEmbed"><iframe id="bluesky-3mwbmjg2sdc22" data-bluesky-id="6486927097663847" src="https://embed.bsky.app/embed/did:plc:uwu2axxotgetzx7ss4gjrq66/app.bsky.feed.post/3mwbmjg2sdc22?id=6486927097663847" width="100%" style="display: block; flex-grow: 1; max-width: 600px;" frameborder="0" scrolling="no"></iframe></div><div><hr></div><p><strong><mark data-color="#c9daf8" style="background-color: rgb(201, 218, 248); color: rgb(0, 0, 0);">Wonkette has no ads and no paywall ever. Subscribe with money or for free, we like it either way!</mark></strong></p><p class="button-wrapper" data-attrs="{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://www.wonkette.com/subscribe?&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Subscribe now&quot;,&quot;action&quot;:null,&quot;class&quot;:null}" data-component-name="ButtonCreateButton"><a class="button primary" href="https://www.wonkette.com/subscribe?"><span>Subscribe now</span></a></p><p><strong><mark data-color="#f4cccc" style="background-color: rgb(244, 204, 204); color: rgb(0, 0, 0);">The button below will take any amount you like, one-time or monthly, at Paypal!</mark></strong></p><p class="button-wrapper" data-attrs="{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://www.paypal.com/donate/?hosted_button_id=B2H2C68PXBLK4&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Wonkette $ machine!&quot;,&quot;action&quot;:null,&quot;class&quot;:&quot;button-wrapper&quot;}" data-component-name="ButtonCreateButton"><a class="button primary button-wrapper" href="https://www.paypal.com/donate/?hosted_button_id=B2H2C68PXBLK4"><span>Wonkette $ machine!</span></a></p><p style="text-align: center;"><strong><mark data-color="rgb(255, 217, 102)" style="background-color: rgb(255, 217, 102); color: rgb(0, 0, 0);">Also! A Venmo!</mark></strong></p><p class="button-wrapper" data-attrs="{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://account.venmo.com/u/Wonkette&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Venmo Wonkette all the $$$!&quot;,&quot;action&quot;:null,&quot;class&quot;:&quot;button-wrapper&quot;}" data-component-name="ButtonCreateButton"><a class="button primary button-wrapper" href="https://account.venmo.com/u/Wonkette"><span>Venmo Wonkette all the $$$!</span></a></p><div><hr></div><p>Literal LOL OMG, Jesus Mary Peltola, lol but damn! </p><blockquote><p>Later that year, Ms. Peltola, appearing to refer to a woman on the board of the local Planned Parenthood chapter, wrote in another text, &#8220;I hope she dies of a botched abortion.&#8221;</p></blockquote><p>Anyway, could give less than an entire shit if Mary Peltola is sometimes screechy to her staff, keep on keeping on! <a href="https://www.nytimes.com/2026/09/23/us/politics/mary-peltola-alaska-senate-race.html?unlocked_article_code=1.DlE.-B_b.SMls8cIRLG0R&amp;smid=url-share">(Gift link New York Times) </a></p><p>How bad is the fishing crisis in Alaska? Oh, we&#8217;re in trouble! Peltola wants to ban trawling, which is fucking fish&#8217;s shit up. <a href="https://open.substack.com/pub/moreperfectus/p/we-went-to-alaska-the-fishing-crisis?r=elvx&amp;utm_campaign=post&amp;utm_medium=email">(More Perfect Union)</a></p><p>Progressive influencers getting support? That doesn&#8217;t sound like us at all! Thanks, Move On! <a href="https://www.rollingstone.com/politics/politics-features/progressive-creator-house-swing-texas-midterms-1235630266/">(Rolling Stone) </a></p><p>Missed this when it came out a couple weeks ago, but this is an eye-opening look at women in Utah getting stomped by the Governor &#8220;Disagree Better&#8221; Cox and the Lege when they tried to make Utah follow the no-gerrymandering law and state constitution. <a href="https://www.nytimes.com/2026/09/13/us/politics/utah-mormon-women-abortion-redistricting.html?unlocked_article_code=1.DlE.lqj1.WNj7YfOJUq3G&amp;smid=url-share">(Gift link New York Times) </a></p><p>Mass Gov. Maura Healey&#8217;s getting smeared on the topic of &#8220;sending a nurse to check on new moms and babies,&#8221; and that is actually fucking evil. <a href="https://goodpoliticsbadpolitics.substack.com/p/tyrannical-nurses-want-your-baby?r=elvx&amp;utm_campaign=post&amp;utm_medium=email">(Good Politics Bad Politics) </a></p><p>Sure sounds to me like Idaho IDed the Tylenol murderer! <a href="https://www.spokesman.com/stories/2026/sep/23/idaho-officials-solved-a-1982-cold-case-that-may-h/">(Spokesman-Review) </a></p><p>Ten years ago: Is Donald Trump a cokehead? </p><blockquote><p><span>Neither I nor anyone on NegusWhoRead&#8217;s staff has ever been to Vermont, but I was (and I am very hesitant to announce this because it may lead to a revocation of my Black card) a huge fan of the sitcom </span><em>Newhart</em><span>, which detailed the life of a man who owned a bed and breakfast in Vermont.</span></p><p>Based on my extensive viewing of this show, I can say without equivocation that there are no Black people in Vermont. I watched the show faithfully, so my statement is valid. Based on almost every study ever done, whites use cocaine at higher rates than Blacks, so Howard Dean, a doctor in a state where Bob Newhart&#8217;s fictional show is based that proves there are no Black people, is uniquely qualified to talk about the intersection of white people, politics and cocaine. That&#8217;s just science.</p></blockquote><p>It IS just science. More science at link! <a href="https://open.substack.com/pub/michaelharriot/p/throwback-thursday-is-donald-trump?r=elvx&amp;utm_campaign=post&amp;utm_medium=email">(Contrabandcamp) </a></p><p>Did that Iowa pollster do &#8220;fraud&#8221; to Trump by releasing a poll? Judge says GTFO. <a href="https://www.bleedingheartland.com/static/media/2026/09/Trump-v-Selzer-Polk-County-District-Court-ruling.pdf">(Ruling) </a></p><p>Nice Time! Come get a dignified sit-down restaurant meal at this Detroit soup kitchen! <a href="https://www.bridgedetroit.com/detroit-full-service-soup-kitchen/">(Bridge Detroit) </a></p><p>This is just a really good Detroit monument! <a href="https://onemorespoke.blogspot.com/2010/03/inaccessible-monument.html?m=1">(One More Spoke)</a></p><div><hr></div><p><strong><span data-color="#0000ff" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 255);">It would be really helpful if you sent Wonkette to some friends!</span></strong></p><p class="button-wrapper" data-attrs="{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://www.wonkette.com/p/bad-boys-bad-boys-tabs-thurs-april?utm_source=substack&amp;utm_medium=email&amp;utm_content=share&amp;action=share&amp;token=eyJ1c2VyX2lkIjo2ODE1NDksInBvc3RfaWQiOjE5Mjg1NjY0MywiaWF0IjoxNzc1MTQ3NDQxLCJleHAiOjE3Nzc3Mzk0NDEsImlzcyI6InB1Yi0xNzgzMzY3Iiwic3ViIjoicG9zdC1yZWFjdGlvbiJ9.ZPkGYsUp53WXkDyTd9dzxEvUbzBhwg7T5b51FiRC6ks&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Share&quot;,&quot;action&quot;:null,&quot;class&quot;:&quot;button-wrapper&quot;}" data-component-name="ButtonCreateButton"><a class="button primary button-wrapper" href="https://www.wonkette.com/p/bad-boys-bad-boys-tabs-thurs-april?utm_source=substack&amp;utm_medium=email&amp;utm_content=share&amp;action=share&amp;token=eyJ1c2VyX2lkIjo2ODE1NDksInBvc3RfaWQiOjE5Mjg1NjY0MywiaWF0IjoxNzc1MTQ3NDQxLCJleHAiOjE3Nzc3Mzk0NDEsImlzcyI6InB1Yi0xNzgzMzY3Iiwic3ViIjoicG9zdC1yZWFjdGlvbiJ9.ZPkGYsUp53WXkDyTd9dzxEvUbzBhwg7T5b51FiRC6ks"><span>Share</span></a></p><div><hr></div><p><strong><span data-color="#38761d" style="color: rgb(56, 118, 29);">Bookshop.org is the anti-Amazon, a certified B-corp partnering with local bookstores. Here&#8217;s our </span><a href="https://bookshop.org/shop/wonkette"><mark data-color="rgb(0, 255, 255)" style="background-color: rgb(0, 255, 255); color: rgb(0, 0, 0);"><span data-color="#38761d" style="color: rgb(56, 118, 29);">Bookshop affiliate link,</span></mark></a><span data-color="#38761d" style="color: rgb(56, 118, 29);"> when you buy books, Wonkette gets </span></strong><em><strong><span data-color="#38761d" style="color: rgb(56, 118, 29);">10 percent. </span></strong></em><strong><span data-color="#38761d" style="color: rgb(56, 118, 29);">You can search any old book from that page and it will count. Last week I finished </span><a href="https://bookshop.org/a/121934/9780593804216"><mark data-color="rgb(0, 255, 255)" style="background-color: rgb(0, 255, 255); color: rgb(0, 0, 0);"><span data-color="#38761d" style="color: rgb(56, 118, 29);">Yesteryear,</span></mark></a><span data-color="#38761d" style="color: rgb(56, 118, 29);"> about a tradwife influencer and holy shit that ending! Buy all the books!</span></strong></p><div><hr></div><p style="text-align: center;"><strong><span data-color="#ff00ff" style="color: rgb(255, 0, 255);">Have you subscribed to Wonkette today?</span></strong></p><p class="button-wrapper" data-attrs="{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://www.wonkette.com/subscribe?&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Subscribe now&quot;,&quot;action&quot;:null,&quot;class&quot;:null}" data-component-name="ButtonCreateButton"><a class="button primary" href="https://www.wonkette.com/subscribe?"><span>Subscribe now</span></a></p>]]></content:encoded></item><item><title><![CDATA[Susan Did A Bad Bad Thing. Tabs, Wed., Sept. 23, 2026]]></title><description><![CDATA[Morning news roundup!]]></description><link>https://www.wonkette.com/p/susan-did-a-bad-bad-thing-tabs-wed</link><guid isPermaLink="false">https://www.wonkette.com/p/susan-did-a-bad-bad-thing-tabs-wed</guid><dc:creator><![CDATA[Rebecca Schoenkopf]]></dc:creator><pubDate>Wed, 23 Sep 2026 11:03:56 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://substackcdn.com/image/youtube/w_728,c_limit/vRxxh3CzJXk" length="0" type="image/jpeg"/><content:encoded><![CDATA[<div class="captioned-image-container"><figure><div class="image-link image2" data-component-name="Image2ToDOM"><div class="image2-inset"><picture><source type="image/webp" srcset="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!afTO!,w_424,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_lossy/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Ffaabb531-fc93-4d93-bac6-93db5544eb64_179x216.gif 424w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!afTO!,w_848,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_lossy/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Ffaabb531-fc93-4d93-bac6-93db5544eb64_179x216.gif 848w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!afTO!,w_1272,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_lossy/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Ffaabb531-fc93-4d93-bac6-93db5544eb64_179x216.gif 1272w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!afTO!,w_1456,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_lossy/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Ffaabb531-fc93-4d93-bac6-93db5544eb64_179x216.gif 1456w" sizes="100vw"><img src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!afTO!,w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_lossy/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Ffaabb531-fc93-4d93-bac6-93db5544eb64_179x216.gif" width="431" height="520.0893854748604" data-attrs="{&quot;src&quot;:&quot;https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/faabb531-fc93-4d93-bac6-93db5544eb64_179x216.gif&quot;,&quot;srcNoWatermark&quot;:null,&quot;fullscreen&quot;:null,&quot;imageSize&quot;:null,&quot;height&quot;:216,&quot;width&quot;:179,&quot;resizeWidth&quot;:431,&quot;bytes&quot;:9166749,&quot;alt&quot;:null,&quot;title&quot;:null,&quot;type&quot;:&quot;image/gif&quot;,&quot;href&quot;:null,&quot;belowTheFold&quot;:false,&quot;topImage&quot;:true,&quot;internalRedirect&quot;:&quot;https://www.wonkette.com/i/216918339?img=https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Ffaabb531-fc93-4d93-bac6-93db5544eb64_179x216.gif&quot;,&quot;isProcessing&quot;:false,&quot;align&quot;:null,&quot;offset&quot;:false}" class="sizing-normal" alt="" srcset="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!afTO!,w_424,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_lossy/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Ffaabb531-fc93-4d93-bac6-93db5544eb64_179x216.gif 424w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!afTO!,w_848,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_lossy/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Ffaabb531-fc93-4d93-bac6-93db5544eb64_179x216.gif 848w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!afTO!,w_1272,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_lossy/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Ffaabb531-fc93-4d93-bac6-93db5544eb64_179x216.gif 1272w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!afTO!,w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_lossy/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Ffaabb531-fc93-4d93-bac6-93db5544eb64_179x216.gif 1456w" sizes="100vw" fetchpriority="high"></picture><div></div></div></div><figcaption class="image-caption">Tabs gif by your friend Martini Glambassador! </figcaption></figure></div><p>Good morning, bad tabs first, good tabs to cheer you up at the end like! </p><p>Who doesn&#8217;t go to the UN to threaten &#8220;annihilation&#8221;? <a href="https://www.washingtonsun.com/foreign-policy/trump-threatens-to-destroy-iran-at-united-nations?utm_source=NOTUS+Newsletter+Audience&amp;utm_campaign=36dda1be36-EMAIL_CAMPAIGN_2026_09_17_06_42&amp;utm_medium=email&amp;utm_term=0_-36dda1be36-745265667&amp;mc_cid=36dda1be36&amp;mc_eid=a641dd7146">(Washington Sun) </a></p><p>Fifteen thousand people &#8212; perhaps immigrants but who knows! &#8212; have been disappeared from ICE&#8217;s online database so their families and lawyers can&#8217;t find them. And oh, this too: </p><blockquote><p>A federal judge ruled Monday that the Department of Homeland (sic) Security (DHS) has to stop arresting <strong>Leonardo Garcia Venegas</strong>, a U.S. citizen with a REAL ID who&#8217;s been arrested three times for not <em>seeming </em>like a U.S. citizen with a REAL ID. (<a href="https://bsky.app/profile/jaredmcclain.bsky.social/post/3mw23r3zag22t">h/t</a>)</p></blockquote><p>Plus they&#8217;re still shooting people again, some more. <a href="https://thefuckingnews.substack.com/p/ice-disappears-more-than-15000-people?r=elvx&amp;utm_campaign=post&amp;utm_medium=email">(The Fucking News) </a></p><p>Meanwhile, this Maryland sheriff has been terrorizing immigrants forever. <a href="https://boltsmag.org/frederick-county-immigration-enforcement-sheriff-chuck-jenkins/">(Bolts) </a></p><p>Everything about the Trump administration throwing 750,000 people off Obamacare for &#8220;fraud&#8221; (with maybe another 440,000 still to come) is shocking, but my favorite is the 200 Obamacare brokers who had been barred from the program by Biden for faking enrollments &#8230; and who were recertified by Trump last year so they could do it all over again. <a href="https://www.nytimes.com/2026/09/22/health/aca-obamacare-vance-fraud.html?unlocked_article_code=1.DFE.e_xu._4RRrIedyErb&amp;smid=url-share">(Gift link New York Times) </a></p><p>This is just very good evidence of &#8220;fraud.&#8221;</p><div class="bluesky-wrap outer" style="height: auto; display: flex; justify-content: center; margin-bottom: 24px;" data-attrs="{&quot;postId&quot;:&quot;3mw4mfjv5cx26&quot;,&quot;authorDid&quot;:&quot;did:plc:4llrhdclvdlmmynkwsmg5tdc&quot;,&quot;authorName&quot;:&quot;Aaron Rupar&quot;,&quot;authorHandle&quot;:&quot;atrupar.com&quot;,&quot;authorAvatarUrl&quot;:&quot;https://cdn.bsky.app/img/avatar/plain/did:plc:4llrhdclvdlmmynkwsmg5tdc/bafkreibmhm3h6ar52pogvolisrzjdhwa2myras5vkxzj67twxn2l6pogwu&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Dr Oz says the Trump administration will kick more than a million people off health insurance because some of them have \&quot;never filed a claim\&quot;&quot;,&quot;createdAt&quot;:&quot;2026-09-22T16:09:22.528Z&quot;,&quot;uri&quot;:&quot;at://did:plc:4llrhdclvdlmmynkwsmg5tdc/app.bsky.feed.post/3mw4mfjv5cx26&quot;,&quot;imageUrls&quot;:[&quot;https://video.bsky.app/watch/did%3Aplc%3A4llrhdclvdlmmynkwsmg5tdc/bafkreiftolhgxidx6kqcmrq3hpqeh72zzdehfthtuu2r67qqrnhyvc75te/thumbnail.jpg&quot;]}" data-component-name="BlueskyCreateBlueskyEmbed"><iframe id="bluesky-3mw4mfjv5cx26" data-bluesky-id="17416457423820864" src="https://embed.bsky.app/embed/did:plc:4llrhdclvdlmmynkwsmg5tdc/app.bsky.feed.post/3mw4mfjv5cx26?id=17416457423820864" width="100%" style="display: block; flex-grow: 1; max-width: 600px;" frameborder="0" scrolling="no"></iframe></div><p></p><div><hr></div><p><strong><mark data-color="rgb(0, 255, 255)" style="background-color: rgb(0, 255, 255); color: rgb(0, 0, 0);">Wonkette has no ads and no paywall ever. Subscribe with money or for free, we like it either way!</mark></strong></p><p class="button-wrapper" data-attrs="{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://www.wonkette.com/subscribe?&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Subscribe now&quot;,&quot;action&quot;:null,&quot;class&quot;:null}" data-component-name="ButtonCreateButton"><a class="button primary" href="https://www.wonkette.com/subscribe?"><span>Subscribe now</span></a></p><p><strong><mark data-color="#f4cccc" style="background-color: rgb(244, 204, 204); color: rgb(0, 0, 0);">The button below will take any amount you like, one-time or monthly, at Paypal!</mark></strong></p><p class="button-wrapper" data-attrs="{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://www.paypal.com/donate/?hosted_button_id=B2H2C68PXBLK4&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Wonkette $ machine!&quot;,&quot;action&quot;:null,&quot;class&quot;:&quot;button-wrapper&quot;}" data-component-name="ButtonCreateButton"><a class="button primary button-wrapper" href="https://www.paypal.com/donate/?hosted_button_id=B2H2C68PXBLK4"><span>Wonkette $ machine!</span></a></p><p style="text-align: center;"><strong><mark data-color="#ffd966" style="background-color: rgb(255, 217, 102); color: rgb(0, 0, 0);">Also! A Venmo!</mark></strong></p><p class="button-wrapper" data-attrs="{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://account.venmo.com/u/Wonkette&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Venmo Wonkette all the $$$!&quot;,&quot;action&quot;:null,&quot;class&quot;:&quot;button-wrapper&quot;}" data-component-name="ButtonCreateButton"><a class="button primary button-wrapper" href="https://account.venmo.com/u/Wonkette"><span>Venmo Wonkette all the $$$!</span></a></p><div><hr></div><p>Susan Collins been a bad bad girl. <a href="https://www.propublica.org/article/fbi-susan-collins-navatek-campaign-donations-investigation">(Pro Publica) </a></p><p>This is a fun &#8220;behind the music&#8221; of how Pro Publica found out about the oligarch who bought Don Jr. and his bride their private island wedding weekend! <a href="https://www.propublica.org/article/donald-trump-jr-wedding-umar-kremlev-reporting?utm_source=sailthru&amp;utm_medium=email&amp;utm_campaign=weekly-newsletter">(Pro Publica) </a></p><p>I know Evan gave you the underlying <em>NYT</em> story on Monday, but you did go and look at the gold reliefs they put in the Kennedy Center in place of the art, right? <a href="https://www.lawyersgunsmoneyblog.com/2026/09/the-barbarian-invasions">(Lawyers Guns &amp; Money)</a></p><p>LOL Bill Pulte tried to get &#8220;mortgage fraud&#8221; on (acting) Attorney General Todd Blanche too. <a href="https://talkingpointsmemo.com/morning-memo/lol-bill-pulte-dug-into-todd-blanches-mortgages">(Talking Points Memo)</a></p><p>All the female Marines (or at least more than 9 in 10) are passing the harder &#8220;sex neutral&#8221; fitness tests, so Pete Hegseth is going to have to find a different reason to fire them :( <a href="https://www.dailykos.com/stories/2026/9/20/800099914/news/hegseth-made-the-fitness-test-harder-for-women-in-combat-roles-most-female-marines-are-passing/">(Daily Kos) </a></p><p>Throwing our trans friends under the bus isn&#8217;t going to win you any elections, and standing up for them isn&#8217;t going to lose you any. So try doing the right thing! <a href="https://stringinamaze.net/p/don-t-surrender-on-trans-rights">(String in a Maze) </a></p><p>This unborn baby didn&#8217;t have a skull or a brain and the mother still had to leave Tennessee for an abortion. <a href="https://www.wbir.com/article/news/local/knoxville/east-tennessee-couple-forced-travel-life-saving-procedure-states-abortion-law-restrictions/51-f733d29b-3454-43e7-8054-aae0bb8a80b3">(WBIR) </a></p><p>The Chad Mamdani didn&#8217;t just make DoorDash settle $131.5 million on the workers they shortchanged &#8212; he also <em>made them apologize</em>. <a href="https://about.doordash.com/en-us/news/dcwp">(DoorDash)</a></p><p>Ohhhh those Michigan Jewish Democrats for Mike Rogers do this every election going back to Mitt Romney? Ohhhhh. <a href="https://www.dropsitenews.com/p/michigan-jewish-democrats-mike-rogers">(Dropsite News) </a>Byron Donalds all &#8220;Trump who?&#8221; lol :) <a href="https://www.miamiherald.com/news/politics-government/state-politics/article317335973.html?giftCode=07710ca53708bb276ea1c38314485bda9ac3f4a701b25b3696bee52d95285630">(Gift link Miami Herald) </a>Senator Roger Marshall of Kansas and maybe just a teeny bit Florida. <a href="https://kansasreflector.com/2026/09/18/u-s-sen-roger-marshall-leaves-paper-trail-in-florida-while-calling-kansas-home/">(Kansas Reflector) </a></p><p>Who wants to read an interview with AOC on running for Senate or president? All of us? YAY! <a href="https://www.nytimes.com/2026/09/22/us/politics/aoc-2028-presidential-race.html?unlocked_article_code=1.DFE.FO8U.qghIMpfDhFm3&amp;smid=url-share">(Gift link New York Times)</a> </p><div id="youtube2-vRxxh3CzJXk" class="youtube-wrap" data-attrs="{&quot;videoId&quot;:&quot;vRxxh3CzJXk&quot;,&quot;startTime&quot;:null,&quot;endTime&quot;:null}" data-component-name="Youtube2ToDOM"><div class="youtube-inner"><iframe src="https://www.youtube-nocookie.com/embed/vRxxh3CzJXk?rel=0&amp;autoplay=0&amp;showinfo=0&amp;enablejsapi=0" frameborder="0" loading="lazy" gesture="media" allow="autoplay; fullscreen" allowautoplay="true" allowfullscreen="true" width="728" height="409"></iframe></div></div><p style="text-align: center;"><strong><span data-color="#0000ff" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 255);">It would be really helpful if you sent Wonkette to some friends!</span></strong></p><p class="button-wrapper" data-attrs="{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://www.wonkette.com/p/bad-boys-bad-boys-tabs-thurs-april?utm_source=substack&amp;utm_medium=email&amp;utm_content=share&amp;action=share&amp;token=eyJ1c2VyX2lkIjo2ODE1NDksInBvc3RfaWQiOjE5Mjg1NjY0MywiaWF0IjoxNzc1MTQ3NDQxLCJleHAiOjE3Nzc3Mzk0NDEsImlzcyI6InB1Yi0xNzgzMzY3Iiwic3ViIjoicG9zdC1yZWFjdGlvbiJ9.ZPkGYsUp53WXkDyTd9dzxEvUbzBhwg7T5b51FiRC6ks&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Share&quot;,&quot;action&quot;:null,&quot;class&quot;:&quot;button-wrapper&quot;}" data-component-name="ButtonCreateButton"><a class="button primary button-wrapper" href="https://www.wonkette.com/p/bad-boys-bad-boys-tabs-thurs-april?utm_source=substack&amp;utm_medium=email&amp;utm_content=share&amp;action=share&amp;token=eyJ1c2VyX2lkIjo2ODE1NDksInBvc3RfaWQiOjE5Mjg1NjY0MywiaWF0IjoxNzc1MTQ3NDQxLCJleHAiOjE3Nzc3Mzk0NDEsImlzcyI6InB1Yi0xNzgzMzY3Iiwic3ViIjoicG9zdC1yZWFjdGlvbiJ9.ZPkGYsUp53WXkDyTd9dzxEvUbzBhwg7T5b51FiRC6ks"><span>Share</span></a></p><div><hr></div><p><strong><span data-color="#38761d" style="color: rgb(56, 118, 29);">Bookshop.org is the anti-Amazon, a certified B-corp partnering with local bookstores. Here&#8217;s our </span><a href="https://bookshop.org/shop/wonkette"><mark data-color="rgb(0, 255, 255)" style="background-color: rgb(0, 255, 255); color: rgb(0, 0, 0);"><span data-color="#38761d" style="color: rgb(56, 118, 29);">Bookshop affiliate link,</span></mark></a><span data-color="#38761d" style="color: rgb(56, 118, 29);"> when you buy books, Wonkette gets </span></strong><em><strong><span data-color="#38761d" style="color: rgb(56, 118, 29);">10 percent. </span></strong></em><strong><span data-color="#38761d" style="color: rgb(56, 118, 29);">You can search any old book from that page and it will count. Last week I finished </span><a href="https://bookshop.org/a/121934/9780593804216"><mark data-color="rgb(0, 255, 255)" style="background-color: rgb(0, 255, 255); color: rgb(0, 0, 0);"><span data-color="#38761d" style="color: rgb(56, 118, 29);">Yesteryear,</span></mark></a><span data-color="#38761d" style="color: rgb(56, 118, 29);"> about a tradwife influencer and holy shit that ending! Buy all the books!</span></strong></p><div><hr></div><p style="text-align: center;"><strong><span data-color="#9900ff" style="color: rgb(153, 0, 255);">Have you subscribed to Wonkette today?</span></strong></p><p class="button-wrapper" data-attrs="{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://www.wonkette.com/subscribe?&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Subscribe now&quot;,&quot;action&quot;:null,&quot;class&quot;:null}" data-component-name="ButtonCreateButton"><a class="button primary" href="https://www.wonkette.com/subscribe?"><span>Subscribe now</span></a></p>]]></content:encoded></item><item><title><![CDATA[That’s A Deportin’! Tabs, Fri., Sept. 18, 2026]]></title><description><![CDATA[Morning news roundup!]]></description><link>https://www.wonkette.com/p/thats-a-deportin-tabs-fri-sept-18</link><guid isPermaLink="false">https://www.wonkette.com/p/thats-a-deportin-tabs-fri-sept-18</guid><dc:creator><![CDATA[Rebecca Schoenkopf]]></dc:creator><pubDate>Fri, 18 Sep 2026 11:00:39 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!ZWIw!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F031d5c66-751a-42df-976e-9367d2e2dd60_400x400.gif" length="0" type="image/jpeg"/><content:encoded><![CDATA[<div class="captioned-image-container"><figure><a class="image-link image2 is-viewable-img" target="_blank" href="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!ZWIw!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F031d5c66-751a-42df-976e-9367d2e2dd60_400x400.gif" data-component-name="Image2ToDOM"><div class="image2-inset"><picture><source type="image/webp" srcset="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!ZWIw!,w_424,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_lossy/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F031d5c66-751a-42df-976e-9367d2e2dd60_400x400.gif 424w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!ZWIw!,w_848,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_lossy/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F031d5c66-751a-42df-976e-9367d2e2dd60_400x400.gif 848w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!ZWIw!,w_1272,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_lossy/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F031d5c66-751a-42df-976e-9367d2e2dd60_400x400.gif 1272w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!ZWIw!,w_1456,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_lossy/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F031d5c66-751a-42df-976e-9367d2e2dd60_400x400.gif 1456w" sizes="100vw"><img 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data-attrs="{&quot;src&quot;:&quot;https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/031d5c66-751a-42df-976e-9367d2e2dd60_400x400.gif&quot;,&quot;srcNoWatermark&quot;:null,&quot;fullscreen&quot;:null,&quot;imageSize&quot;:null,&quot;height&quot;:400,&quot;width&quot;:400,&quot;resizeWidth&quot;:510,&quot;bytes&quot;:8852121,&quot;alt&quot;:null,&quot;title&quot;:null,&quot;type&quot;:&quot;image/gif&quot;,&quot;href&quot;:null,&quot;belowTheFold&quot;:false,&quot;topImage&quot;:true,&quot;internalRedirect&quot;:&quot;https://www.wonkette.com/i/216155135?img=https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F031d5c66-751a-42df-976e-9367d2e2dd60_400x400.gif&quot;,&quot;isProcessing&quot;:false,&quot;align&quot;:null,&quot;offset&quot;:false}" class="sizing-normal" alt="" srcset="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!ZWIw!,w_424,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_lossy/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F031d5c66-751a-42df-976e-9367d2e2dd60_400x400.gif 424w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!ZWIw!,w_848,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_lossy/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F031d5c66-751a-42df-976e-9367d2e2dd60_400x400.gif 848w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!ZWIw!,w_1272,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_lossy/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F031d5c66-751a-42df-976e-9367d2e2dd60_400x400.gif 1272w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!ZWIw!,w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_lossy/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F031d5c66-751a-42df-976e-9367d2e2dd60_400x400.gif 1456w" sizes="100vw" fetchpriority="high"></picture><div class="image-link-expand"><div class="pencraft pc-display-flex pc-gap-8 pc-reset"><button tabindex="0" type="button" class="pencraft pc-reset pencraft icon-container restack-image buttonBase-GK1x3M"><svg aria-hidden="true" width="20" height="20" viewBox="0 0 20 20" fill="none" stroke-width="1.5" stroke="var(--color-fg-primary)" stroke-linecap="round" stroke-linejoin="round" xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" class="icon-noB79L"><g><path d="M2.53001 7.81595C3.49179 4.73911 6.43281 2.5 9.91173 2.5C13.1684 2.5 15.9537 4.46214 17.0852 7.23684L17.6179 8.67647M17.6179 8.67647L18.5002 4.26471M17.6179 8.67647L13.6473 6.91176M17.4995 12.1841C16.5378 15.2609 13.5967 17.5 10.1178 17.5C6.86118 17.5 4.07589 15.5379 2.94432 12.7632L2.41165 11.3235M2.41165 11.3235L1.5293 15.7353M2.41165 11.3235L6.38224 13.0882"></path></g></svg></button><button tabindex="0" type="button" class="pencraft pc-reset pencraft icon-container view-image buttonBase-GK1x3M"><svg xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" width="20" height="20" viewBox="0 0 24 24" fill="none" stroke="currentColor" stroke-width="2" stroke-linecap="round" stroke-linejoin="round" class="lucide lucide-maximize2 lucide-maximize-2 icon-noB79L"><polyline points="15 3 21 3 21 9"></polyline><polyline points="9 21 3 21 3 15"></polyline><line x1="21" x2="14" y1="3" y2="10"></line><line x1="3" x2="10" y1="21" y2="14"></line></svg></button></div></div></div></a><figcaption class="image-caption">Tabs gif by your friend Martini Glambassador!</figcaption></figure></div><div class="callout-block" data-callout="true"><p><span data-color="#0000ff" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 255);">Good morning, pals and palarinas! This week&#8217;s Wonkette Movie Night is </span><em><a href="https://archive.org/details/dra-cula.-eng.-mp-4."><span data-color="#ff0000" style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">Dracula</span></a></em><span data-color="#0000ff" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 255);"> (1931) available for free on the Internet Archive; with subscription on Peacock; $3.99 in the usual places. Join ZiggyWiggy and friends Saturday, 9 p.m. Eastern! </span></p></div><p>And now mesdames and messieurs, your TABS. </p><p>He&#8217;s not going to be ecstatic that his new Fed chair raised interest rates after he got rid of his old Fed chair for raising interest rates, and the Supreme Court, which likes its money, decided the Federal Reserve is the only independent agency whose heads Trump doesn&#8217;t have the power to fire :) <a href="https://statuskuo.substack.com/p/youre-fired-only-goes-so-far?r=elvx&amp;utm_campaign=post&amp;utm_medium=email">(Status Kuo)</a></p><p>Who are you and what have you done with Erick Erickson? Erickson shocked, shocked to find Nazis in the Republican Party. <a href="https://ewerickson.substack.com/p/the-midwestern-fuhrerbunker-driving">(Erickson) </a></p><p>What <em>is</em> just the right amount of racist Republicans should try to be? <a href="https://paulwaldman.substack.com/p/republicans-try-to-be-just-the-right?r=elvx&amp;utm_campaign=post&amp;utm_medium=email">(Paul Waldman) </a></p><div><hr></div><p><strong><mark data-color="#00ffff" style="background-color: rgb(0, 255, 255); color: rgb(0, 0, 0);"><span>Wonkette has no ads and no paywall ever. Subscribe with money or for free, we like it either way!</span></mark></strong></p><p class="button-wrapper" data-attrs="{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://www.wonkette.com/subscribe?&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Subscribe now&quot;,&quot;action&quot;:null,&quot;class&quot;:null}" data-component-name="ButtonCreateButton"><a class="button primary" href="https://www.wonkette.com/subscribe?"><span>Subscribe now</span></a></p><p><strong><mark data-color="#f4cccc" style="background-color: rgb(244, 204, 204); color: rgb(0, 0, 0);"><span>The button below will take any amount you like, one-time or monthly, at Paypal!</span></mark></strong></p><p class="button-wrapper" data-attrs="{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://www.paypal.com/donate/?hosted_button_id=B2H2C68PXBLK4&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Wonkette $ machine!&quot;,&quot;action&quot;:null,&quot;class&quot;:&quot;button-wrapper&quot;}" data-component-name="ButtonCreateButton"><a class="button primary button-wrapper" href="https://www.paypal.com/donate/?hosted_button_id=B2H2C68PXBLK4"><span>Wonkette $ machine!</span></a></p><p style="text-align: center;"><strong><mark data-color="#d9ead3" style="background-color: rgb(217, 234, 211); color: rgb(0, 0, 0);"><span>Also! A Venmo!</span></mark></strong></p><p class="button-wrapper" data-attrs="{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://account.venmo.com/u/Wonkette&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Venmo Wonkette all the $$$!&quot;,&quot;action&quot;:null,&quot;class&quot;:&quot;button-wrapper&quot;}" data-component-name="ButtonCreateButton"><a class="button primary button-wrapper" href="https://account.venmo.com/u/Wonkette"><span>Venmo Wonkette all the $$$!</span></a></p><p>Oh no I hope the elephants didn&#8217;t hurt their &#8230; foot &#8230; hooves? Ah well nevertheless. <a href="https://www.dailystar.co.uk/news/latest-news/poacher-who-tried-kill-rhinos-37663639">(Daily Star)</a></p><p>Another despot who kidnapped and killed another American journalist, in this case Bashar Al-Assad of Syria and Austin Tice of the <em>Washington Post.</em> The BBC found its proof. <a href="https://www.bbc.com/news/articles/cv0lrxw6ygl2o">(BBC)</a></p><p>A better splainer on the crypto bill Democrats (and three Republicans) just killed :) <a href="https://prospect.org/2026/09/17/crypto-clarity-act-senate-democrats-trump/?utm_source=substack&amp;utm_medium=email">(The American Prospect)</a></p><p>Ever so much more on the Russian oligarch/biker gang leader/extortionist who paid for Don Jr.&#8217;s wedding weekend and whom the NYT et al. call &#8220;a businessman.&#8221; <a href="https://craigunger.substack.com/p/the-case-of-the-secret-benefactor?r=elvx&amp;utm_campaign=post-expanded-share&amp;utm_medium=web">(Craig Unger) </a></p><p>Via <a href="https://www.thebulwark.com/p/kash-patels-eyebrow-has-gone-rogue?utm_source=substack&amp;utm_medium=email">a Bulwark podcast</a> &#8212; I watched part of a podcast! &#8212; here&#8217;s Milo&#8217;s yuuuuucky divorce filings with his husband. I am with Tim Miller that the deportations are bad <em>except for Milo. </em>I have no ethical qualms on that whatsoever. And while we&#8217;re at it, Elon Musk lied all over his immigration proceedings too. That&#8217;s a deportin&#8217;! <a href="https://www.dailymail.com/news/article-16102325/milo-yiannopoulos-marriage-abuse-los-angeles.html">(Daily Mail) </a></p><p>I love watching judges wreck their shit, DHS&#8217;s stupid lazy new rule capping the time students and journalists can get visas here edition. <a href="https://ballsandstrikes.org/law-politics/duration-of-status-trump-lazy-federal-district-court/">(Balls and Strikes) </a></p><p>Whew, CEO pay rose again, we&#8217;re now making 325x worker pay, SUCKAS! <a href="https://www.epi.org/blog/ceo-pay-surged-in-2025-ceos-are-paid-325-times-as-much-as-the-typical-worker/?utm_source=cision&amp;utm_medium=email">(Economic Policy Institute) </a></p><p>This multimillionaire Texas Republican wants to trick people into retiring his campaign debt by saying it&#8217;s an application for your $5000 Trumpmoneys. <a href="https://prospect.org/2026/09/17/republican-nominee-in-texas-using-trumps-5000-dollar-promise-to-deceive-voters/">(The American Prospect) </a></p><p>The Flock cameras are very explicitly capturing people, not just license plates, and your bumper stickers too. <a href="https://www.404media.co/hackers-stole-flocks-camera-software-revealing-how-the-company-tracks-cars-and-people-2/?ref=daily-stories-newsletter&amp;utm_source=substack&amp;utm_medium=email">(404 Media) </a></p><p>The Norwegians fighting enshittification are back. <a href="https://www.forbrukerradet.no/shortlife">(This Norwegian antienshittification website)</a></p><p>Very enjoy!</p><div id="vimeo-1226731365" class="vimeo-wrap" data-attrs="{&quot;videoId&quot;:&quot;1226731365&quot;,&quot;videoKey&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;belowTheFold&quot;:true}" data-component-name="VimeoToDOM"><div class="vimeo-inner"><iframe src="https://player.vimeo.com/video/1226731365?autoplay=0" frameborder="0" gesture="media" allow="autoplay; fullscreen" allowautoplay="true" allowfullscreen="true" loading="lazy"></iframe></div></div><div><hr></div><p><strong><span>It would be really helpful if you sent Wonkette to some friends!</span></strong></p><p class="button-wrapper" data-attrs="{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://www.wonkette.com/p/bad-boys-bad-boys-tabs-thurs-april?utm_source=substack&amp;utm_medium=email&amp;utm_content=share&amp;action=share&amp;token=eyJ1c2VyX2lkIjo2ODE1NDksInBvc3RfaWQiOjE5Mjg1NjY0MywiaWF0IjoxNzc1MTQ3NDQxLCJleHAiOjE3Nzc3Mzk0NDEsImlzcyI6InB1Yi0xNzgzMzY3Iiwic3ViIjoicG9zdC1yZWFjdGlvbiJ9.ZPkGYsUp53WXkDyTd9dzxEvUbzBhwg7T5b51FiRC6ks&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Share&quot;,&quot;action&quot;:null,&quot;class&quot;:&quot;button-wrapper&quot;}" data-component-name="ButtonCreateButton"><a class="button primary button-wrapper" href="https://www.wonkette.com/p/bad-boys-bad-boys-tabs-thurs-april?utm_source=substack&amp;utm_medium=email&amp;utm_content=share&amp;action=share&amp;token=eyJ1c2VyX2lkIjo2ODE1NDksInBvc3RfaWQiOjE5Mjg1NjY0MywiaWF0IjoxNzc1MTQ3NDQxLCJleHAiOjE3Nzc3Mzk0NDEsImlzcyI6InB1Yi0xNzgzMzY3Iiwic3ViIjoicG9zdC1yZWFjdGlvbiJ9.ZPkGYsUp53WXkDyTd9dzxEvUbzBhwg7T5b51FiRC6ks"><span>Share</span></a></p><div><hr></div><p><strong><span>Bookshop.org is the anti-Amazon, a certified B-corp partnering with local bookstores. Here&#8217;s our </span><a href="https://bookshop.org/shop/wonkette"><mark data-color="rgb(0, 255, 255)" style="background-color: rgb(0, 255, 255); color: rgb(0, 0, 0);"><span>Bookshop affiliate link,</span></mark></a><span> when you buy books, Wonkette gets </span></strong><em><strong><span>10 percent. </span></strong></em><strong><span>You can search any old book from that page and it will count. Last week I finished </span><a href="https://bookshop.org/a/121934/9780593804216"><mark data-color="rgb(0, 255, 255)" style="background-color: rgb(0, 255, 255); color: rgb(0, 0, 0);"><span>Yesteryear,</span></mark></a><span> about a tradwife influencer and holy shit that ending! Buy all the books!</span></strong></p><div><hr></div><p><strong><span>Have you subscribed to Wonkette today?</span></strong></p><p class="button-wrapper" data-attrs="{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://www.wonkette.com/subscribe?&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Subscribe now&quot;,&quot;action&quot;:null,&quot;class&quot;:null}" data-component-name="ButtonCreateButton"><a class="button primary" href="https://www.wonkette.com/subscribe?"><span>Subscribe now</span></a></p>]]></content:encoded></item><item><title><![CDATA[You’re Soaking In It! Tabs, Thurs., Sept. 17, 2026]]></title><description><![CDATA[Morning news roundup!]]></description><link>https://www.wonkette.com/p/youre-soaking-in-it-tabs-thurs-sept</link><guid isPermaLink="false">https://www.wonkette.com/p/youre-soaking-in-it-tabs-thurs-sept</guid><dc:creator><![CDATA[Rebecca Schoenkopf]]></dc:creator><pubDate>Thu, 17 Sep 2026 11:03:29 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!E5tL!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fc7d46da3-fe97-4c1c-980d-f327918311fc_300x400.gif" length="0" type="image/jpeg"/><content:encoded><![CDATA[<div class="captioned-image-container"><figure><a class="image-link image2 is-viewable-img" target="_blank" href="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!E5tL!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fc7d46da3-fe97-4c1c-980d-f327918311fc_300x400.gif" data-component-name="Image2ToDOM"><div class="image2-inset"><picture><source type="image/webp" srcset="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!E5tL!,w_424,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_lossy/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fc7d46da3-fe97-4c1c-980d-f327918311fc_300x400.gif 424w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!E5tL!,w_848,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_lossy/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fc7d46da3-fe97-4c1c-980d-f327918311fc_300x400.gif 848w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!E5tL!,w_1272,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_lossy/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fc7d46da3-fe97-4c1c-980d-f327918311fc_300x400.gif 1272w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!E5tL!,w_1456,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_lossy/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fc7d46da3-fe97-4c1c-980d-f327918311fc_300x400.gif 1456w" sizes="100vw"><img 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srcset="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!E5tL!,w_424,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_lossy/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fc7d46da3-fe97-4c1c-980d-f327918311fc_300x400.gif 424w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!E5tL!,w_848,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_lossy/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fc7d46da3-fe97-4c1c-980d-f327918311fc_300x400.gif 848w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!E5tL!,w_1272,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_lossy/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fc7d46da3-fe97-4c1c-980d-f327918311fc_300x400.gif 1272w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!E5tL!,w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_lossy/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fc7d46da3-fe97-4c1c-980d-f327918311fc_300x400.gif 1456w" sizes="100vw" fetchpriority="high"></picture><div class="image-link-expand"><div class="pencraft pc-display-flex pc-gap-8 pc-reset"><button tabindex="0" type="button" class="pencraft pc-reset pencraft icon-container restack-image buttonBase-GK1x3M"><svg aria-hidden="true" width="20" height="20" viewBox="0 0 20 20" fill="none" stroke-width="1.5" stroke="var(--color-fg-primary)" stroke-linecap="round" stroke-linejoin="round" xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" class="icon-noB79L"><g><path d="M2.53001 7.81595C3.49179 4.73911 6.43281 2.5 9.91173 2.5C13.1684 2.5 15.9537 4.46214 17.0852 7.23684L17.6179 8.67647M17.6179 8.67647L18.5002 4.26471M17.6179 8.67647L13.6473 6.91176M17.4995 12.1841C16.5378 15.2609 13.5967 17.5 10.1178 17.5C6.86118 17.5 4.07589 15.5379 2.94432 12.7632L2.41165 11.3235M2.41165 11.3235L1.5293 15.7353M2.41165 11.3235L6.38224 13.0882"></path></g></svg></button><button tabindex="0" type="button" class="pencraft pc-reset pencraft icon-container view-image buttonBase-GK1x3M"><svg xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" width="20" height="20" viewBox="0 0 24 24" fill="none" stroke="currentColor" stroke-width="2" stroke-linecap="round" stroke-linejoin="round" class="lucide lucide-maximize2 lucide-maximize-2 icon-noB79L"><polyline points="15 3 21 3 21 9"></polyline><polyline points="9 21 3 21 3 15"></polyline><line x1="21" x2="14" y1="3" y2="10"></line><line x1="3" x2="10" y1="21" y2="14"></line></svg></button></div></div></div></a><figcaption class="image-caption">Tabs gif by your friend Martini Glambassador! </figcaption></figure></div><p>Good morning good morning, here&#8217;s your damn tabs! </p><p>I wonder whose idea it was to let them destroy our bases. <a href="https://www.cbsnews.com/news/new-photos-damage-u-s-kuwait-saudi-arabia-iran-drone-missile-attacks/?linkId=1009162272">(CBS News) </a></p><p>I meant Putin, in case that riddle was too hard! But speaking of destroyed and covered up bases, the House cancelled its last two weeks of votes so it wouldn&#8217;t have to vote on Thomas Massie&#8217;s privileged impeachment articles on Pete Hegseth. And massi(v)e credit here: Massie included our WHAT THE FUCK invasion of Venezuela too, something which even few Democrats have bothered to say is BAD and WRONG. <a href="https://www.nbcnews.com/politics/congress/house-leave-early-punting-hegseth-impeachment-vote-november-elections-rcna598147">(NBC News) </a></p><p>But Democrats did topple the crypto bill, which is good, and then a bipartisan crew advanced a bill that would somewhat address the people who help other people do crypto, after the Republicans forgot to tax them in their Big Beautiful Bill I guess? Lol, Politico, a &#8220;tax snafu.&#8221; <a href="https://www.politico.com/live-updates/2026/09/16/congress/ways-and-means-approves-crypto-tax-bill-01080231">(Politico)</a></p><p>Trump called the Kennedy Center board and screamed at them a lot, and that&#8217;s why women are too emotional to be president. <a href="https://www.alternet.org/donald-trump-kennedy-center-name-judge/?utm_source=substack&amp;utm_medium=email">(Alternet) </a></p><p>Oh no, House Speaker come get your caucus! Some of them are rudely pointing out when others of them are being fucking hypocrites! <a href="https://www.washingtonsun.com/congress/house-republican-meeting-turns-into-shouting-match-speaker-johnson-andy-harris?utm_source=NOTUS+Newsletter+Audience&amp;utm_campaign=9f18a416a9-EMAIL_CAMPAIGN_2026_09_14_07_20_COPY_01&amp;utm_medium=email&amp;utm_term=0_-2d63e49ad8-745265667&amp;mc_cid=9f18a416a9&amp;mc_eid=a641dd7146">(Washington Sun, reg. req.)</a></p><div><hr></div><p><strong><mark data-color="rgb(201, 218, 248)" style="background-color: rgb(201, 218, 248); color: rgb(0, 0, 0);"><span data-color="#9900ff" style="color: rgb(153, 0, 255);">Wonkette has no ads and no paywall ever. Subscribe with money or for free, we like it either way!</span></mark></strong></p><p class="button-wrapper" data-attrs="{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://www.wonkette.com/subscribe?&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Subscribe now&quot;,&quot;action&quot;:null,&quot;class&quot;:null}" data-component-name="ButtonCreateButton"><a class="button primary" href="https://www.wonkette.com/subscribe?"><span>Subscribe now</span></a></p><p><strong><span data-color="#4a86e8" style="color: rgb(74, 134, 232);">The button below will take any amount you like, one-time or monthly, at Paypal!</span></strong></p><p class="button-wrapper" data-attrs="{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://www.paypal.com/donate/?hosted_button_id=B2H2C68PXBLK4&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Wonkette $ machine!&quot;,&quot;action&quot;:null,&quot;class&quot;:&quot;button-wrapper&quot;}" data-component-name="ButtonCreateButton"><a class="button primary button-wrapper" href="https://www.paypal.com/donate/?hosted_button_id=B2H2C68PXBLK4"><span>Wonkette $ machine!</span></a></p><p style="text-align: center;"><strong><span data-color="#9900ff" style="color: rgb(153, 0, 255);">Also! A Venmo!</span></strong></p><p class="button-wrapper" data-attrs="{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://account.venmo.com/u/Wonkette&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Venmo Wonkette all the $$$!&quot;,&quot;action&quot;:null,&quot;class&quot;:&quot;button-wrapper&quot;}" data-component-name="ButtonCreateButton"><a class="button primary button-wrapper" href="https://account.venmo.com/u/Wonkette"><span>Venmo Wonkette all the $$$!</span></a></p><div><hr></div><p>Oh no, Joe Biden tried to assassinate Donald Trump in Butler, PA, says Donald Trump. <a href="https://talkingpointsmemo.com/the-brief/trump-cooks-up-new-conspiracy-theories-about-the-butler-assassination-attempt?utm_source=talkingpointsmemo.beehiiv.com&amp;utm_medium=newsletter&amp;utm_campaign=trump-cooks-up-new-conspiracy-theories-about-the-butler-assassination-attempt&amp;_bhlid=84800554d22b12faea7128643fe0d3a91579b452">(Talking Points Memo)</a></p><p>Have you been waiting to read Our Liz on the Supreme Court and the vote-by-mail ballots and poor old Justices Alito and Thomas wailing and gnashing and soaking in it? ME TOO! <a href="https://open.substack.com/pub/aaronrupar/p/supreme-court-mail-voting-ruling?r=elvx&amp;utm_campaign=post&amp;utm_medium=email">(Public Notice) </a></p><p>Bari Weiss bad at her job, part 1,247,943. Seems like nobody&#8217;s buying <em>60 Minutes</em> in a Fox News wrapper :(<a href="https://www.thewrap.com/creative-content/tv-shows/60-minutes-season-59-premiere-ratings-decline/"> (The Wrap) </a></p><p>Who needs a Nice Time? How about these American Samoans are finally out of their &#8220;illegal voting&#8221; yearslong nightmare??? <a href="https://boltsmag.org/charges-dropped-against-american-samoans-punished-for-voting-in-alaska/">(Bolts) </a></p><p>How about another one? These sports ladies bring their sports babies to work and all the other sports ladies help them love and care for the sports babies. <a href="https://www.washingtonsun.com/sports/spirit-moms-nwsl-maternity-leave">(Washington Sun, reg. req.)</a></p><p>How about a third Nice Time? WHAT UP, AOC, WARREN, MERKLEY, ET AL.? <span>Stop Corporate Takeovers of Physicians Act, you say? To &#8220;ban private equity from buying physicians&#8221;? I&#8217;M IN. </span><a href="https://ocasio-cortez.house.gov/media/press-releases/ocasio-cortez-warren-hoyle-wyden-merkley-subramanyam-introduce-bill-ban"><span>(House)</span></a></p><p><span>Who&#8217;s in for four? Florida sheriff knows which side of the Flock cameras his bread is buttered on! </span><a href="https://boltsmag.org/jefferson-county-florida-rural-sheriff-dismantles-flock-camera-network/?utm_source=Bolts&amp;utm_campaign=42ab442a90-newsletter010626_COPY_01&amp;utm_medium=email&amp;utm_term=0_56d2c0db9c-42ab442a90-632578319"><span>(Bolts again) </span></a></p><p>See you later, Detroit, I&#8217;m moving to West Bloomfield! <a href="https://www.zillow.com/homedetails/3865-Stonecrest-Rd-West-Bloomfield-MI-48322/24474357_zpid/?">(Zillow) </a></p><div><hr></div><p><strong><span data-color="#6aa84f" style="color: rgb(106, 168, 79);">It would be really helpful if you sent Wonkette to some friends!</span></strong></p><p class="button-wrapper" data-attrs="{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://www.wonkette.com/p/bad-boys-bad-boys-tabs-thurs-april?utm_source=substack&amp;utm_medium=email&amp;utm_content=share&amp;action=share&amp;token=eyJ1c2VyX2lkIjo2ODE1NDksInBvc3RfaWQiOjE5Mjg1NjY0MywiaWF0IjoxNzc1MTQ3NDQxLCJleHAiOjE3Nzc3Mzk0NDEsImlzcyI6InB1Yi0xNzgzMzY3Iiwic3ViIjoicG9zdC1yZWFjdGlvbiJ9.ZPkGYsUp53WXkDyTd9dzxEvUbzBhwg7T5b51FiRC6ks&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Share&quot;,&quot;action&quot;:null,&quot;class&quot;:&quot;button-wrapper&quot;}" data-component-name="ButtonCreateButton"><a class="button primary button-wrapper" href="https://www.wonkette.com/p/bad-boys-bad-boys-tabs-thurs-april?utm_source=substack&amp;utm_medium=email&amp;utm_content=share&amp;action=share&amp;token=eyJ1c2VyX2lkIjo2ODE1NDksInBvc3RfaWQiOjE5Mjg1NjY0MywiaWF0IjoxNzc1MTQ3NDQxLCJleHAiOjE3Nzc3Mzk0NDEsImlzcyI6InB1Yi0xNzgzMzY3Iiwic3ViIjoicG9zdC1yZWFjdGlvbiJ9.ZPkGYsUp53WXkDyTd9dzxEvUbzBhwg7T5b51FiRC6ks"><span>Share</span></a></p><div><hr></div><p><strong><span data-color="#4a86e8" style="color: rgb(74, 134, 232);">Bookshop.org is the anti-Amazon, a certified B-corp partnering with local bookstores. Here&#8217;s our </span><a href="https://bookshop.org/shop/wonkette"><mark data-color="rgb(0, 255, 255)" style="background-color: rgb(0, 255, 255); color: rgb(0, 0, 0);"><span data-color="#4a86e8" style="color: rgb(74, 134, 232);">Bookshop affiliate link,</span></mark></a><span data-color="#4a86e8" style="color: rgb(74, 134, 232);"> when you buy books, Wonkette gets </span></strong><em><strong><span data-color="#4a86e8" style="color: rgb(74, 134, 232);">10 percent. </span></strong></em><strong><span data-color="#4a86e8" style="color: rgb(74, 134, 232);">You can search any old book from that page and it will count. Last week I finished </span><a href="https://bookshop.org/a/121934/9780593804216"><mark data-color="rgb(0, 255, 255)" style="background-color: rgb(0, 255, 255); color: rgb(0, 0, 0);"><span data-color="#4a86e8" style="color: rgb(74, 134, 232);">Yesteryear,</span></mark></a><span data-color="#4a86e8" style="color: rgb(74, 134, 232);"> about a tradwife influencer and holy shit that ending! Buy all the books!</span></strong></p><div><hr></div><p><strong><span data-color="#ff00ff" style="color: rgb(255, 0, 255);">Have you subscribed to Wonkette today?</span></strong></p><p class="button-wrapper" data-attrs="{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://www.wonkette.com/subscribe?&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Subscribe now&quot;,&quot;action&quot;:null,&quot;class&quot;:null}" data-component-name="ButtonCreateButton"><a class="button primary" href="https://www.wonkette.com/subscribe?"><span>Subscribe now</span></a></p>]]></content:encoded></item></channel></rss>