Good morning, who’s ready for tabs?!

LOL now I want to do Trump’s stupid $5000 bribe “dividend,” which is not a dividend and will never happen just like all his other bribe promises never happened, just to piss off the National Review :) (Also they say it’s the Democrats’ fault.) (National Review) Say, this fellow thinks Trump is full of shit and simply making things up to distract us from all the other shit he made up! Could it be so???? (Bloomberg) Yahoo Finance actually took the trouble to count up all the bullshit and remind us of all the previous bullshit, so that was #newsyoucanuse! (Yahoo!)

Sure yes lol absolutely!

This time the whole US Supreme Court told the Missouri state Lege and state secretary of state to get the fuck out with those gerrymandered maps. So it’s weird that they didn’t do that in Texas and Louisiana and and and! But okay, good! (Status Kuo)

Red states WHISPER to the Supreme Court PLEASE DON’T LET HIM DO THE MAIL BALLOT THING, THIS SHIT WILL BE SO FUCKED UP, WHISPER /endwhisper. (Gift link Washington Post)

Again? We’re doing “FCC threatens late night show out of airing interview with James Talarico again? (NBC News)

I’ll add the Talarico interview here if it’s up when I get up and I remember!

Like right now!

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Wired talked to the AI dude who quit this week to warn everyone of UM YOU GUYS. So I’m gonna skip that one, because I don’t want to! Let me know if he said not to worry, it’s cool! (Wired)

I’m not really understanding why the whole issue with Erika Kirk would be that she calls for being a tradwife but she’s being a boss bitch CEO. Nobody but us cared when Phyllis Schlafly did the same thing. I think the real issue is that she’s got that widowly glow. (Amanda Marcotte at Salon) Meanwhile, Melissa Ryan talks about how mean the children are to the man who was supposed to be a martyr, like damn, those kids are cold. (Ctrl Alt Right Delete) “Goebel Farms” “corn maze” “honors Charlie Kirk.” Where’s my staff debunker … fuck. It’s real. (Goebel Farms)

Miami Dade lady sheriff and Miami Dade lady mayor being dicks to each other about unimportant shit. Don’t do that. It’s gendered. (Gift link Miami Herald)

Alex Gibney’s Musk documentary looks good, and also very long! (Politico)

Looks like the New York archbishop who invited Mayor Mamdani to the St. Patrick’s cathedral’s 9/11 remembrance Mass last night did a real cool sermon last Sunday, which Mamdani also attended, on not doing wars! (Letters From Leo)

Oh yeah, speaking of “the Islamist,” Ted Cruz being a fucking weirdo again, yiiiiikes. (HuffPost)

Okay, see you when there’s more things to read!

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Good morning good morning, it’s time for your tabs!

Man, shouldn’t have shot my meat wad yesterday (LOL gross) because now there’s all this meat stuff to hit you with! Like this crazy coincidence of all the millions of dollars the corrupt Brazilian beef billionaire gave to Trump before he apparently bought up all their gross meat and stuck it in your mystery box! (Thom Hartmann) Then there’s the 19 concurrent food safety investigations, a record, because that’s what happens when you DOGE all the food safety inspectors and mandate all food must contain ground glass by law. (Axios)

What up, Wonkpal Dr. Sarah Taber?

How you like them barrels? (AP)

Brett Kavanaugh, yes that Brett Kavanaugh, sided with the (Republican!) Missouri state Supreme Court in letting them DQ the Republican Lege’s gerrymandered congressional maps, and minutes later a different federal judge put the Republican Lege’s gerrymandered congressional maps back for this November. And then the (again, can’t state this often enough) Republican state Supreme Court told the Republican state secretary of state they were going to hold his ass in contempt unless he could think of a REAL good reason not to! Let’s let Chris Geidner splain us. (Lawdork)

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I blocked this out if I ever knew it at all. (I must have known it.) Anyway, goodbye Maria Bartiromo, goodbye more again! See you on 60 Minutes undoubtedly!

Before putting her on the air, Bartiromo had seen [Sidney] Powell’s evidence, which included an email from a person who claimed that “The Wind tells me I’m a ghost” and “it appears that I was shot in the back shortly after submitting a tip to the FBI two years ago.”

(Our Liz at Public Notice)

Mostly Black people in Gary, Indiana, were out of electricity for WEEKS, so obviously Indiana denied them SNAP benefits to replace all their food. (The 19th)

I don’t know what I’d do if I were the Human Rights Campaign and other gay orgs faced with these Democrats who are mostly good until it’s time to call trans girls “boys” (or even better: “men”), ugh ugh ugh. (Erin in the Morning)

Do you want to see a murder the most brutal sibling non-endorse since Abel? (Archive of Portland Press Herald)

The number of women dying from ectopic pregnancies has doubled over the past six years, praise pro-life Jesus and His Republican helpers! (Pro Publica)

Robyn covered a lot of this yesterday here, but BOY OH BOY are people mad at Ken Paxton for acting like he likes that women are working. (The 19th)

This guy got 30 years for so much Medicaid fraud, instead of being elected senator from Florida! (Orange County Register)

Oh no, HBO’s new Green Lantern, Lanterns, is woke (stars a Black person, is written and directed by Black people???!!!), should probably be illegal :( (Michael Harriot at Contrabandcamp)

The people making the robot Apocalypse are pretty sanguine about their belief that the robot Apocalypse could for sure be coming and ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ (Bulwark, second item)

I would like a BEAVER APOCALYPSE instead, BEAV!!!!! :D :D :D :D (Reasons to Be Cheerful)

I am not putting that Primus song here, because Primus sucks.

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Good morning Wonkfriends! It’s time for your tabs!

Corey Lewandowski just offering to work secretly for Qatar and the UAE while he was also his girlfriend Kristi Noem’s second in command at the Department of Homeland Security, why, is that treason? Plus ever so much more in the world of “$19,000 a week FEMA employees” and “circumventing Russian sanctions.” (Gift link Wall Street Journal)

This lady gonna get pardoned so hard. (The Bulwark)

Yeah, okay.

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The Republicans who want to take away all women’s right to vote because we acknowledge postpartum psychosis sometimes exists, and that a woman who is suffering from it should get help before she hurts her children or herself. This is ghastly. (Abortion, Every Day)

Only Democrats have to Denounce and Denunciate. It’s the alliteration. (Republicans still don’t have to Repudiate, though.) (Paul Waldman)

Republican midterms looking so bad it’s blowing Charlie Cook’s mind. (Greg Sargent at The New Republic)

Is this bad? Kindly old Senator Doc Roger Marshall of Kansas, an OBGYN, had some 81 of his patients arrested for failure to pay. Presumably not the babies he delivered, just the moms. (Gift link New York Times)

Hahahaahahahahahaha good luck at your “midterm convention,” Republicans :) “GOP lawmakers, candidates, donors and party officials said in interviews they are counting on Trump to draw a contrast with Democrats rather than prosecute his personal grievances.” (Politico)

Dust off your Kalshi accounts (I mean close your Kalshi accounts, that shit’s bad for society) and place your bets: Is No Tab Pete gonna be the next Cabinet secretary to You No Longer Work Here? (Paul Waldman at Public Notice)

Uh yes, I would think this would be a very good 30 lawsuits.

Shortly after the shooting, The Wall Street Journal reported that OpenAI, months before the shooting occurred, had considered warning local law enforcement about Van Rootselaar’s disturbing conversations with ChatGPT, which contained graphic descriptions of mass violence. After an internal debate, OpenAI leaders opted not to alert local officials. Instead, it deactivated Van Rootselaar’s account, though the eventual shooter simply made a new one.

(Futurism)

Wait how is the Border Patrol “analyzing our financial activities” before asking local cops to gin up a reason to pull us over? Unknown! It’s gotta be fine though or they wouldn’t do it! (404 Media)

This one about what can go wrong with the mystery beef is less gross than the NYT op-ed from the Fast Food Nation guy about what can go wrong with the mystery beef, so you’re welcome! (Krugman)

I miss this song.

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Good morning good morning, I hope you had a lovely Labor Day weekend! Now here’s your damn tabs!

He spent Labor Day weekend going absolutely bugfuck nuts. (Tiedrich) He also literally called the troops killed in the Iran War so far “small potatoes.” Everybody’s fine with this, right? (AP) Like this lady who apparently is being kept from some survivors’ benefits because her husband was killed in “not a war.” (The Express)

“No Tab Pete.” Oh, that smarts. (Charlotte’s Web Thoughts)

This one is kind of fun! States like Louisiana are barring lawmakers from looking at data on where private jets spend their time (so they can be taxed accordingly) because it impinges on the privacy of the pilots, lol :) Anyway, Los Angeles County is using the data to do a good bit of soaking the rich! Zohran Mamdani should take a note! (Forbes via Yahoo! News)

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And speaking of, what’s with the New York Times’s hard-on against Mamdani, and why don’t they care about any of the governing he’s actually doing? Well, about that! (Don Moynihan)

The Trump administration is doing its newest Project 2025, and it is “taking federal funds that pay for low wage workers to get childcare and giving that money to stay at home moms instead, and only if they’re married (and probably only if they’re moms).” These people are really, really something. (Gift link New York Times)

Hmmm is this one worse? I think this one is worse: “HHS Cancels Infant Mortality, Postpartum Grants to Focus on Sperm Counts, ED.” (NOTUS)

Did 2500 troops die of “COVID vaccine”? RFK Jr. is just investigating! (Politico)

Some guy whose brother is a former GOP volunteer who got fired for sexual contact with children — because it’s all of them — tried to attack Dr. Amy Acton in Ohio. (The Dispatch has now edited and says it’s the guy’s brother. Wonkette does NOT regret the error because it wasn’t our error.) (Columbus Dispatch)

Now the Right and the Trump administration are mad about “the Obama Switch” (that reduces fuel consumption up to 26 percent by shutting off the engine while you’re at a red light), and they’re going to stop giving automakers credits for reducing fuel usage, MAN they’re terrible! (MS Now)

Even more shit about the physical impossibility of trying to comply with the unconstitutional craziness they’re trying to pull with seizing all the mail ballots. From last week as we wait for the appeal at the First Circuit and then the Supreme Court. (Our Liz at Public Notice)

Last week, Father Marco from St. Moses the Black came to our house and took my mom’s Confession, gave her Communion, and then administered the anointing of the sick. He was lovely! We talked about loving Popes Francis and Leo and how I don’t believe in God :) A whole bunch of Catholic archbishops — like our archbishop in Detroit — are standing up to these rancid dicks! Bless. (Letters From Leo)

Yikes please don’t meditate yourself into psychosis yikes! (Gift link The Atlantic)

Extreme hotel stays! EXTREME!!!! (Fodor’s)

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Good morning pals! We will have usual weekend programming and then will have Monday off. Happy Labor Day! LATE UPDATE: Join ZiggyWiggy Monday at 3 p.m. for NORMA RAE! Now what are we reading this morning? These tabs!

A nice brief overview on Gloria Steinem, she was pretty goddamn cool. (19th News) And here’s a lovely longread from Rebecca Traister, who used to interview her all the time about everything, featuring girls treating her like a pop star, Steinem sometimes being wrong, and Betty Friedan being hilariously bitchy. What a glamorous and complicated life! And goddamn, it ends with a gut punch. (New York mag)

Gloria Steinem’s tribute to one of Ms.’s 1987 women of the year, Dolly Parton. (Ms. Magazine)

Trump is making ads about himself “for” Republicans in the midterms lol. (“The Toughest Guy” Ad)

Here’s a second guy starring in ads saying Roy Cooper, former North Carolina governor and current Democratic nominee for Senate, killed his son. This guy though says these shitheads from the Republican superPAC tricked him into it. Roy Cooper should probably put him in an ad about the bad Republicans tricking people into accusing Roy Cooper of murder! (Popular Info) And now Vivek Ramaswamy is pulling exactly the same thing in Ohio, blaming Amy Acton for a woman’s death in Kentucky. Guess they all got their same order to lie! (David Pepper)

Hmmmmm, why is Maria Bartiromo out the Fox News door so fast and willy nilly? Oh we’ll find out soon enough. It’s PROBABLY not a Bill O’Reilly-styley grossness, we hope! But as one of their True Believers maybe she was about to get them sued for another couple billions? The LA Times says it was that she shared a company email with Trump. I don’t know what Status says because I refuse to subscribe to outlets (looking at you also, Democracy Docket) that say “I have the shocking answer and it’s right on the other side of this paywall!” (Variety)

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House Speaker Mike Johnson is facile and stupid and should shut his facile stupid cornhole about the size of the Supreme Court. (Balls and Strikes)

It doesn’t matter if Congress makes laws and the president signs them, because nobody in the universe has standing to sue to enforce them ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ (Leah Litman at The Atlantic)

So what’s the Supreme Court going to do about Trump rushing to ask them to let him seize all the mail ballots? Oh, you know. (Chris Geidner)

Wait a minute, a 5-2 Republican-to-Democrat state supreme court unanimously following the law and DQing Missouri’s gerrymander? LOL happy (FOR NOW, until the Supreme Court says the state supreme court is ruling … too close to the election). (Missouri Independent)

RFK Jr. is personally fucking the measles death statistics, because duh. (Reuters)

The DOJ is personally fucking charges against the ICE officer who shot the Venezuelan dude and lied about it (the ICE officer that Texas Gov. Greg Abbott refused to extradite to Minnesota and released), but they’re deigning to allow prosecutors to charge the “lied about it” part, it’s a miracle I guess. (Pro Publica)

Shut up and listen to good Pope: Polluting our earth is a sin against GOD. (America mag)

Punk rock antifa protect trans kids school board candidate nice time! (Alpha News)

Heck of an interview with Mr. T — who legally changed his name to “Mr. T” as a young man because he was tired of watching the grown men in his life called “boy” and he was going to force white people to address him as Mr. — about … well, four-letter-word that would displease him, ALL OF IT. (The Guardian)

Wonkette parties upcoming: WINDSOR, MASS, Labor Day weekend potluck! Find your own place to camp or AirBnB near but not at Paul and Holly’s: “campfires and food and drink (BYO adult stuff) on Saturday and Sunday from noon(ish) to bedtime. For information shoot Holly an email. hollyturner at live dot com”; Atlanta has been postponed to October; SAN FRANCISCO: Mon., Nov. 30, 6-8 p.m., Regency Hyatt San Francisco, 5 Embarcadero, in the little area behind the bar in the lobby.

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Good morning good morning, we got some real weird tabs!

Brian Beutler makes a pretty good point here about HOW ABOUT YOU DON’T FUND HIS FUCKING GOVERNMENT, YOU IDIOT JELLYFISH. (Beutler)

Idiot not going to September 11 memorial because they won’t let him give a Trump rally. (Gift link New York Times)

JD Vance loves the Apocalypse. (The New Republic)

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Mehdi Hasan has some good questions about why we’re not demanding Mike Rogers, Michigan Republican Senate nominee, disavow this one advisor freak. Being a Republican means never having to say you’re sorry. (The Guardian)

Texas. Texas cheating. (Laura Bassett at Nightcap)

Yes I do think the next governor of Florida should investigate Ron DeSantis for embezzling money from poor children to stick in his wife’s foundation! I don’t know if that next governor will be David Jolly, and it’s kind of weird that the state Democrats nominated two different former Republicans for governor twice in a row, but what can you do, it’s Florida! (Gift link Miami Herald)

I remember when Joe Biden got in so much scandal trouble for NOT doing this thing Donald Trump does every day, but they lied and said he did. That could apply to so many topics, but today we are talking about Disaster Relief. FUN :D (Rachel Maddow Blog)

Has Trump tried reaching out to mayors who might need his help and then … lololol jkjkjkjk. Anyway, Georgia’s Republican mayors love Jon Ossoff, Senator Mensch. (The New Republic)

If Jeff Bezos’s Washington Post is going to start fearmongering against Social Security (and so are a bunch of other places all of a sudden, I’ve been noting too), then Dean Baker is going to force you to read this math about the 401k’s. (CEPR)

Michigan judge tells Kalshi to GTFO for the tort of “gambling sucks.” (Gambling Harm)

You know what would be great? If Democrats took a lesson from Zohran Mamdani on how to do communications. (I don’t mean just being good at being smiley on camera, I mean reaching out to the media, whoever we’re calling “the media” today.) Imagine if Joe Biden had gotten influencers saying nice things about all his good stuff! (CJR)

Oh, here’s a good one, even if it’s the NYT instead of an influencer: NYC schools tell AI there’s no home for you here, girl, go away. (Gift link New York Times)

Tiny goat-cows fighting fires? Tiny goat-cows fighting fires! (Reasons to Be Cheerful)

Ask E. Jean, a documentary that nobody will touch because Donald Trump is scawy, is available on demand for the month of September! (Kinema) Have a trailer!

Wonkette parties upcoming: WINDSOR, MASS, Labor Day weekend potluck! Find your own place to camp or AirBnB near but not at Paul and Holly’s: “campfires and food and drink (BYO adult stuff) on Saturday and Sunday from noon(ish) to bedtime. For information shoot Holly an email. hollyturner at live dot com”; Atlanta has been postponed to October; SAN FRANCISCO: Mon., Nov. 30, 6-8 p.m., Regency Hyatt San Francisco, 5 Embarcadero, in the little area behind the bar in the lobby.

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Good morning good morning, it’s time for your tabs!

USDA shutting down all the research into the diarrhea lettuce parasite, blames Congress. Gentlemen, don’t fight! There is plenty of blame for everyone! (Politico) Even the cattle ranchers don’t like Glenn Beck’s and therefore Trump’s and Ag Secretary Brooke Rollins’s new plan to not inspect our nation’s meat. (The Fucking News) RFK Jr. and his pathogen obstacle course: Rightsizing the new generation! (Alexandra Petri at The Atlantic)

Is closing all these polling places weeks before Texas’s midterm election “voter suppression” or are you just a silly little ninnymuggins? (The New Republic) Texas hospitals going to start losing $27 million a day in Medicaid funding, should be fine! (AP)

MAGA Shark Tank? Are they doing anything besides reality TV shows and wrestlemania? (Joe. My. God)

Four House Democrats being real turdburglars. Rest of Democrats are cool. (Mediaite via Yahoo! News) Nobody tell Joan Walsh about these fuckballs please, she doesn’t need to see that! (The Nation)

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A refundable tax credit to hire California journalists? Does this mean I get $20,000 toward new hire Brooke Binkowski’s salary??? GAVIN NEWSOM, YOU SIGN THAT RIGHT NOW! (Rebuild Local News) The rest of you, if you are not already and you are able, you scroll back up and help me pay Brooke!

Well I don’t think Trump should give part of Yosemite to some assholes so they get their own private entrance to the park! (NOTUS)

Man, Harmeet Dhillon, head of the DOJ’s “Civil Rights Division,” is really a dumb dick. (Gift link New York Times)

Commandante Greg Bovino was under investigation when he retired, you say? Oh, I think the next Dem Congress can follow through on that. (WGN)

Blinking man dot gif:

Former Rep. Michele Bachmann says the main problem in Gaza today is that refugees are getting too fat: “Their calorie count is over 3,000 calories per person a day from all the food that's coming in and the biggest problem they're dealing with most recently in Gaza is obesity.”

(People For the American Way)

Heck yeah, we gon’ canonize Dorothy Day, heart hug! (Letters From Leo)

An Abortion, Every Day post about Daisy Chain Fields that is different from yesterday’s Tabs’s Abortion, Every Day post about Daisy Chain Fields :) (Abortion, Every Day)

Hope this works, it’s the New York Times spotify playlist for Olivia Rodriguez’s FUCK YEAH FEMINISM Daisy Chain Fields fest.

Wonkette parties upcoming: WINDSOR, MASS, Labor Day weekend potluck! Find your own place to camp or AirBnB near but not at Paul and Holly’s: “campfires and food and drink (BYO adult stuff) on Saturday and Sunday from noon(ish) to bedtime. For information shoot Holly an email. hollyturner at live dot com”; Atlanta has been postponed to October; SAN FRANCISCO: Mon., Nov. 30, 6-8 p.m., Regency Hyatt San Francisco, 5 Embarcadero, in the little area behind the bar in the lobby.

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Good morning good morning, it’s time for your tabs!

Trump’s new beef probably not horse, that we know of. (Salon)

How the climate is changing in Europe (RAPIDLY), which was not built for it and is still puritanically resisting air conditioning 23 years after 70,000 people died in a heatwave. The opening anecdote is about tennis and you’re like “tennis, the New Yorker is going to tell me the tennis match was too hot?” and yes, it’s going to do exactly that. (New Yorker) Meanwhile, from January, here’s some science for you on Himalayan “glacial lake outburst floods,” which we all got to see in live-action-horror-movie this week, oh lord oh lord. (Nature) And here’s Jonathan Larsen on Nepal etc., I’m going to call it “bitter and angry” not “making light.” But it’s a fine line sometimes! (The Fucking News)

Meet the smarmy little shit running the Trump Kennedy Center lawsuit for the DOJ. He’s worse than you imagined! (Our Liz at Law and Chaos)

Put on your big boy Nazi cape, Gregory Bovino, the Trump administration doesn’t want to “kill” you. God, aren’t they embarrassed that they put such puny (emotionally) lunatics in charge? (Independent via Yahoo! News)

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Woooowwwww voters are … let’s say less than informed let’s say fuckin dumb. (Bad Faith Times)

California gonna outlaw child marriage, ‘bout time. (It’s one of three states with no minimum marriage age, yuck.) And get this, the bill was even coauthored by a Republican woman! (LA Times)

Texans: Go check your voter reg right the fuck now. (San Antonio Current) North Carolina is complying with the ballot and voter list order. Shaking my damn head. (Democracy Docket)

I think former North Carolina governor and current Democratic Senate nominee Roy Cooper has a legitimate defamation case against the Senate Republicans paying for these fake news stories that he released a felon who went on to commit murder — when that was the noted felon-lovers in South Carolina. HUH. (Popular Info)

Holy shit, HPV vaccine, that decrease in head and neck cancers is SO HIGH!!!!!

They found that over the course of 13 years, the people vaccinated between ages 9 and 26 had a 68% lower risk of head and neck cancers. The percentage jumped to 91% for the same age group when looking specifically at oropharyngeal, or throat, cancers.

Oh you don’t want to vaccinate your kids against HPV? Fine, less head and neck cancer for the rest of us! (International Journal of Infectious Diseases)

The Rich Dad Poor Dad financial self-help author is $1.2 billion in debt, why, is that a lot? (Vanity Fair)

Hahahahaha, Zohran Mamdani, pied-a-terrorist, made the tax too hard to escape, ahahahahaaha!

Those hoping to sidestep the extra bill are running into a big problem: The new tax leaves little daylight for the kinds of workarounds that rich, absentee property owners are floating to their trusted advisors.

Ha :) (Business Insider)

WILDLIFE PHOTOS, WILDLIFE PHOTOS! Damn they should have left out the last one, which is a stone cold bummer, and while I’m thinking about it, here’s the best book I read last year, with a Wonkette commission cut. (AOL)

ARTIST WANTED! If you are an artist who can do me a pretty line drawing commission for a hundred bucks (think a caricature but not too caricatured), NO AI, please email me at rebecca at wonkette dot com for specifics!

Wonkette parties upcoming: WINDSOR, MASS, Labor Day weekend potluck! Find your own place to camp or AirBnB near but not at Paul and Holly’s: “campfires and food and drink (BYO adult stuff) on Saturday and Sunday from noon(ish) to bedtime. For information shoot Holly an email. hollyturner at live dot com”; Atlanta has been postponed to October; SAN FRANCISCO: Mon., Nov. 30, Regency Hyatt San Francisco, 5 Embarcadero, in the little area behind the bar in the lobby.

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After our Dolly Parton post fell so short in failing to discuss her values, political and personal, here’s an excellent look at both. (I still maintain that ours was by far the best and most knowledgeable discussion I’ve seen of her music, but it read like we downplayed her goodness, and we absolutely did.) (Melissa Ryan at Alt Right Delete)

Matt Walsh is on a real normal one about … selfish lazy moms with postpartum psychosis :/ (Amanda Marcotte at Salon)

Is Illinois’s Republican nominee for governor as batshit as Colorado’s Republican nominee for governor? No, that is not scientifically possible. But he’s pretty hilarious nonetheless! (Friendly Atheist)

We all know the “financial emergency” for the Kennedy Center came after Trump got his tiny grubby paws on it, but it’s nice to see the reporting anyway, as the Board continues to insist it was “saved” by that bloated half-corpse. (Gift link Washington Post)

Like Charlie Pierce, I’ve also been clocking “moderates” whinging about Social Security lately. His post may be doomy and gloomy, but he’s entirely right about the centrist “look forward, not back.” (Esquire) Dean Baker has been noticing too! Keep the centrist from negotiating Social Security into the graveyard! (Dean Baker)

Let’s do the opposite of undermining Social Security and update overtime rules to doubletime instead of time and a half! Thanks for the bill, Casar and Gallego! (EPI)

Didn’t know the Texas governor had to be found to be acting “in bad faith” in order for the state to be ordered to extradite someone wanted for shooting an immigrant through the door in Minnesota and then filing false charges about it. I guess Trump judges can make up their own extraditin’s! (Gift link New York Times)

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Oh no, the lab-grown diamonds are ruining the “chop their hands off” diamond market for DeBeers et al.! So that’s a shame.

FINALLY the banks are going to catch a break!!! (The American Prospect)

But not International Criminal Court prosecutors: We’ve sanctioned them and frozen their credit cards for saying we and Israel are bad, as if they are even allowed to say such a thing. (NOTUS)

Attorney suspended for 60 whole days just for punching and kicking his client’s (female) tenant? That seems … crazy low actually, and only fifth degree assault, really? (ABA Journal)

Let’s all get the shingles vaccine and have fewer heart attacks and strokes! (The Guardian) And speaking of, the vaccine for melanoma is a big fucking deal, and I would even give some credit to Trump and his Operation Zoom Zoom, but he doesn’t want it and has since broken science, so I’ll keep it then! (STATNews)

Massachusetts is now protecting abortion at every stage of pregnancy, so the Right thinks it finally has a winning abortion message. Repeat after Jessica: Government has no place in abortion, period. (Abortion, Every Day)

COAL MINE HEAT PUMP! COAL MINE HEAT PUMP! (Reasons to Be Cheerful)

Wonkette parties upcoming: WINDSOR, MASS, Labor Day weekend potluck! Find your own place to camp or AirBnB near but not at Paul and Holly’s: “campfires and food and drink (BYO adult stuff) on Saturday and Sunday from noon(ish) to bedtime. For information shoot Holly an email. hollyturner at live dot com”; Atlanta has been postponed to October. SAN FRANCISCO: Mon., Nov. 30, Regency Hyatt San Francisco, 5 Embarcadero; look for everyone in the little area behind the lobby bar.

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Good morning to all our friends and lovers.

Last night I posted and then removed an obituary for Dolly Parton. I thought it was really smart and well-educated on her career and genre, and I thought it appropriately placed her at the very top of American life culturally, personally, artistically. It did though leave out some of her most important attributes, and made her sound ungenerous, which is beyond dumb; generosity is synonymous with her name.

It was bad editing on my part not to send it back to address that lapse; I was too hurried trying to post what I found to be a really deep exploration of her career — and those of you who thought it didn’t venerate her songwriting, voice, and music, I think were wrong. I thought it was excellent in that respect, and I’m really truly sorry it pissed everyone off.

It was my fault and my responsibility. Thank you for listening!

I remember reading an interview with Dolly Parton in college where the interviewer asked her what she would be doing if she weren’t Dolly Parton, Superstar. But she would always be a superstar, she said. If I were a factory worker, she explained, I would be the star of that factory! I remember shooting my television the first (and last) time I ever tried to watch American Idol and Simon Cowell yelled at a woman for daring to take on “the Whitney Houston original” of “I Will Always Love You,” which Dolly didn’t just originate, she wrote it, with her hands and brain and guitar. I remember how much America made fun of her for her giant honkers until it must have been the ‘90s when everyone realized they’d been fucking idiots and the woman was a living (and good time!) saint. Bless bless bless bless bless.

Here’s a Lauren Hough post about her that I read to my mom when it came out a few years ago, and my mom cried and cried. (Badreads)

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Soccer flops and Natalie Harp. (Parker Molloy)

Jake Lang went to Minneapolis to start a riot. He and his Nazi buddies unfurled a banner that said “JAKE LANG LOVES BLACK PEOPLE BUT HATES [n-words].” Spider-Man punched his block off. Jake Lang and his Nazis drove into the sidewalk crowds of counterprotesters and got arrested but will not be prosecuted because Hennepin County DA Mary Moriarty says they coordinated their giant N-WORD banner with the cops, so everything’s really stupid and dumb. (Gift link Star Tribune)

@reportermarkSpider-Man fights white supremacist Jake Lang in Minneapolis. 8/22/26. #minnesota #minneapolis

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Texas Gov. Greg Abbott is asking the DOJ to “investigate” the Dallas and Houston airports for having foot wash stations for Muslim travelers, because letting people wash their feet in NOT THE SINK is oppressing everybody else, who are all also free to use the footwash stations no matter how much Greg Abbott lies about “Muslim-only spaces,” Jesus Christ. (Gift link Houston Chronicle)

Wyden and Garcia are investigating the YOOGE GIANT hundreds-of-millions contract for some law firm that doesn’t do immigration law to represent all the immigrant children. GIT EM. (Senate Oversight Dems)

At first I wasn’t sure if it was a bad Halloween costume, but then I saw the inset photo for comparison, and it is a bad Halloween costume, Target :( (Reuters)

This one’s a real fuckin bummer and I couldn’t read the whole thing. We’re doing bad bad bad bad things to the forests and the oceans and we’re in real fuckin trouble ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ (Bill McKibben)

Arizona Gov. Katie Hobbs saves the wild horses. (AZ Capitol Times)

I thought I had read this absolutely insane story about this geezer and the castle he’s stocked with girls for his “reality show” like a pond with trout, but it turns out there was a jump in there somewhere with another manosphere “influencer” on the flip so now I have to go read that part too :/ (The Guardian)

Of course the billionaires are lying about California’s proposed billionaire tax, did you expect them to do not that? (Popular Info)

San Francisco Field Trip Report!

Thank you to all the Wonkers who joined us for a tribute to our beloved Fukui in San Francisco. He, Cryptofishist, and Kyle started the every third Friday Wonkparty at the Hyatt Regency SF (Embarcadero) (minus the pandemic) eight years ago, and they say they’ll continue to see you every third Friday at 6 p.m. How good to see the beautiful faces. We love you.

When we have our next one, look for us in the little area behind the bar; I know at least one Wonkfriend asked the bartender where we were and they had no idea, even though I told the other bartender to send everyone our way :/

Here are some shots of Tourist San Francisco, because that’s what we are. Shy and I had a beautiful day walking all over the city and up a GIANT MOUNTAIN (my legs are still wobbling) with my sister-in-law Casey and brother Eric, who live across the Bay. They took us to House of Nanking, which was fuckin outstanding. Five minutes later, we ran into Wonker Scott again at City Lights! Hi Scott’s nice family! Hi Scott!

And here are other pictures of a different 10 miles we walked, it was very beautiful, good job SF.

And last, here was a person hiding their face as a human billboard purchased by the AI; SF’s AI billboards are NUTS. The billionaires need some help relieving them of all that extra money. California, you have your orders!

Wonkette parties upcoming: WINDSOR, MASS, Labor Day weekend potluck! Find your own place to camp or AirBnB near but not at Paul and Holly’s: “campfires and food and drink (BYO adult stuff) on Saturday and Sunday from noon(ish) to bedtime. For information shoot Holly an email. hollyturner at live dot com”; Atlanta has been postponed to October. SAN FRANCISCO: Mon., Nov. 30, Regency Hyatt San Francisco, 5 Embarcadero.

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Here’s one million words on the economy, does it suck or what? (Also I am pretty sure we all need to buy Treasury bonds?) (Gift link New York Times)

From this Bulwark post, here’s a letter from a Venezuelan family who were here legally, working legally, and decided to self-deport. At their exit interview, they were arrested and have been detained ever since. Their seven-year-old daughter “wants to die.” Jesus Christ now I do too. (XCancel)

Fuck.

Immigration agents’ and Border Patrol’s lawbreaking and criminality particularly of the raping and molesting kind goes back to at least Reagan, but thanks to the particularly vicious lawlessness of Trump II, it’s getting worse and worse. (Forever Wars)

Sure yeah, we’ll all for sure be delighted to change the subject from the diaper nurse to Trump’s beautiful new helipad, it’s so magnificent! ([T]iedrich)

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ABC finally had enough of his shit and sued Trump and his FCC. I like the part Our Liz noted where he specifically tweeted “Last time I went after them, they gave me $16 Million Dollars. This one sounds even more lucrative,” what a jackass idiot. (Our Liz at Public Notice)

Isn’t it fun when Trump lets his pals get out from under $700 million in restitution for their frauds, based on the fiction that they were only prosecuted for “liking Trump”? Bonus new definition of chutzpah: The reality show Chrisleys, since being pardoned means somehow that they never broke the law, are now suing their criminal defense attorneys for $25 million for losing the case whose Trump pardon shows they were innocent all along! (Lisa Needham at Public Notice)

Ten years later, this lawsuit against DeRay Mckesson for not hitting this cop with a rock at a protest is still ongoing. (Balls and Strikes)

South Korean potatoes are “boiling in the ground,” great, less time in the kitchen! (The Guardian)

Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis can’t even fire a top ally/child molester without fucking it up and being a piece of shit about it. (Link fixed!) (Gift link Miami Herald)

Oh please what did this Black Pearl Harbor Navy hero ever do to get a ship named after him when it could be named after Trump? (CNN)

Cook Political Report is shifting four races, it must be because everybody is so happy with the Republicans and Trump! (Cook Political Report)

From last year, but how the Ancient Aliens guy started the Right’s hard-on against the Smithsonian by accusing it of covering up people fucking dinosaurs and also giants. (The New Republic)

Berkeley Law WILL SEE AI IN HELL. (Berkeley)

Professor Sisyphus! (McSweeney’s)

Of course you want to read Garrett White Bucks (sigh, I was on a plane! only two fuckups that I know of so far) on state fairs! He’s the humanistiest! (White Pages)

Wonkette parties upcoming: SAN FRANCISCO in honor of Fukui, TONIGHT, Fri., Aug. 21, 6-8 or 9 p.m., Hyatt Regency SF (Embarcadero); WINDSOR, MASS, potluck! Find your own place to camp or AirBnB near but not at Paul and Holly’s, Labor Day weekend: “campfires and food and drink (BYO adult stuff) on Saturday and Sunday from noon(ish) to bedtime. For information shoot Holly an email. hollyturner at live dot com”; Atlanta has been postponed to October. SECOND SAN FRANCISCO: Mon., Nov. 30, Embarcardero Hyatt again.

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Is this what’s in Trump’s panties? (Honda Walking Assist)

He and whatever is in his panties are very happy Alexander Vindman lost his primary, and they look forward to Vindman shaking off that loss so he can lose the general as well! (Joe. My. God.)

Natalie declined to seek a security clearance for more than a year, and you can just do that and keep working in the Oval Office? Good to know! (MS NOW) Mr. Trump is very vigorous and hale and Natalie is for sure not his full time nurse for both physically dying and narcissistic ego soother needs. (Amanda Marcotte at Salon)

Abdul El-Sayed might win the US Senate seat for Michigan or he might not. This poll says he will! (Mediaite) Considering I called Kamala Harris with a Reagan-styley 49 states, nobody should ever listen to me. (But I still think he wins.) (Everything Is Horrible)

Here’s a delightful piece (really!) on how libs and commies can Just Get Along, with some caveats to consider and things we must work through.

Nothing soothes bruised feelings like success, and the successes in New York and elsewhere have done much to convince skeptical DSAers that Paris is well worth a Mass, or rather, that Gracie Mansion is well worth some cringe. And the more sensible Democrats have realized that far from sabotaging the party, this influx of highly motivated reformers might be just the kind of bracing tonic that the ailing old donkey needed.

Is this guy right or is this guy right. (Liberal Currents)

Can’t believe Joyce Vance wrote this whole thing about DOJ independence and never once screeched about the screeching about Bill Clinton chatting on the tarmac with Loretta Lynch, a greater scandal than which this country has never known! (Vance)

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Hugh Hefner reported Jeffrey Epstein to the FBI back in 2005 for trafficking a Playmate. The FBI was all circuits are busy, please try your call again later. (News Nation)

If you want to read 27 pages of a now-suspended judge being the cleverest wag in O-hi-o, then by all means. But damn, now-suspended Ohio judge. Good lord. (Disciplinary board ruling)

Delta airlines employees did a very cool, very clever “help ICE get this US citizen man into their rat trap,” good job Delta employees! (WSBTV) You know what they could have done? The opposite, like this United gate agent who can sleep at night! (Time)

Yes his popularity really is in the shitter as evinced by this going-out-of-business Trump superstore, but don’t think his pissed off former fans are some kind of Democrats. They still hate illegals real good! (Slate)

Hahahaha, we could have had public child care under Nixon! Two years before I was born! And I am 53 years old! Hahahaha! (Dame magazine)

Melanoma CANCER VAXX. (StatNews)

Did everybody know that Antonio Banderas is super eloquent and thoughtful? Oh, we all did? Yes, we all did! Antonio Banderas on Almodovar and Sondheim and God and goodness and Anthony Bourdain, and WELL! Wow! Okay! Huh! (New Yorker)

These Russia-paid chuds and misogyny makes you stupid are the last things Brooke Binkowski wrote at us before her other job told her no more Wonking. Well guess who quit that dumb job and is coming to us full time Sept. 1? IT BROOKE. Want to send us money in joy and also so we can pay her beautiful moneys and healthcare premia? Fuck yeah you do, if you are able!

MONEY!

Wonkette parties upcoming: SAN FRANCISCO in honor of Fukui, Fri., Aug. 21, 6-8 or 9 p.m., Hyatt Regency SF (Embarcadero); WINDSOR, MASS, potluck! Find your own place to camp or AirBnB near but not at Paul and Holly’s, Labor Day weekend: “campfires and food and drink (BYO adult stuff) on Saturday and Sunday from noon(ish) to bedtime. For information shoot Holly an email. hollyturner at live dot com”; Atlanta has been postponed to October. SECOND SAN FRANCISCO: Mon., Nov. 30, Embarcardero Hyatt again.

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Good morning, it’s tabs time! Are you welcome? You are!

Did Rep. Cory Mills of Florida lose his Republican primary last night just because of the 18 months worth of allegations from multiple women about domestic abuse, the alleged stolen valor Bronze Star, and the 19-year-old girlfriend he doesn’t deny? No idea, it’s not even last night yet! (Looks like yes.) (Mother Jones) Wait a minute, Madison Cawthorn and Chris Collins are both running for Congress in Floriday yestertoday? I really feel like we should have known about that! Did one win? Again no idea! (Haven’t checked.) (Jamie Dupree) Looks like progressive Angie Nixon beat centrist Alex Vindman in their Democratic primary; he’s been saying some really weird shit about Muslims lately, so, good! (Politico)

Well, I think the AI data centers are cooked. The only way they’re going to survive this kind of broad-based cross-political-spectrum hatred and “mail your pee to AI data centers” is to change their name to Enron.

So this fake polling company, Median Strategies, was doing fake polls (Francesca Hong up 23 percent, for instance) for “social experiment” mmmhmmmm mmmmmhmmmm. (AP)

Minnesota is suing Texas to hand over its fucking murderer ICE agent, but the good news which I did not know is: That dude’s been sitting jail the last three months? GOOD. The bad news is you can’t jail a fugitive in Texas for more than 90 days, a limit which is coming up in a week. (Gift link Minnesota Star Tribune)

JVL at the Bulwark says this guy who voted for Trump specifically so he would deport the illegals is “at the zoo jumping the fence and running full-speed toward a hot stove inside the leopard enclosure,” so I’m for sure gonna click and enjoy on that. (Gift link New York Times)

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Oh hey, the New York Times now has unlimited gift links — what is their angle??? — so here’s a lovely, lovely story about these retired Catholic nuns who are now living their lives of service in a Lutheran retirement home. At least, it was a lovely story when Letters From Leo wrote about it, but that one’s paywalled, so! (Gift link NYT)

Democrat-aligned scam pacs are fleecing old people, and the Democratic Party needs to put a fucking stop to it instead of for some unknown goddamn reason helping to cover it up via cease-and-desists to the reporters exposing it. And I’m feeling fine about my continued lack of support for the DCCC and DSCC ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ (Chris Lehmann at The Nation / researcher Adam Bonica)

Yiiiiiiiikes, this Ron DeSantis ally/appointee has been suspended from his $219,000 a year job as Palm Beach clerk after these extremely graphic allegations of sexual assault of a boy under five yiiiiiiiikes. And guess whose first allegation this wasn’t. (Gift link Miami Herald)

You know who’s never properly (or really much at all) apologized or atoned for being a big ol’ white supremacist? This guy, Richard Hanania, whom the media just loves to call up for his moderate, mild take on why minorities are not as good as white people! (The Handbasket)

Unpopular opinion: I didn’t think it was awesome that Luigi killed that health insurance CEO, even though Luigi is handsome. Same for Charlie Kirk, no matter how hilarious the children are about his head getting blown off. I don’t think it’s good for us to be so nonchalant about murdering people, or that there’s any class of people it’s okay to kill. Via some guy on Bluesky, here’s another Luigi, an anarchist who assassinated the Empress Elisabeth of Austria just because he could. What a fascinating woman! Also used very gross face creams. (Wikipedia)

Popular opinion: I think former Senator Kyrsten Sinema is a bad person, and she should feel bad. (People mag)

New York Mayor Zohran Mamdani made a babysitters club so parents could have a night out. We can have nice things. (New York mag)

What terrible libelslanders is mean Jon Ossoff mouthing at our poor perfect president today?

Wonkette parties upcoming: SAN FRANCISCO in honor of Fukui, Fri., Aug. 21, 6-8 or 9 p.m., Hyatt Regency SF (Embarcadero); WINDSOR, MASS, potluck! Find your own place to camp or AirBnB near but not at Paul and Holly’s, Labor Day weekend: Holly says, “campfires and food and drink (BYO adult stuff) on Saturday and Sunday from noon(ish) to bedtime. For information shoot me an email. hollyturner at live dot com”; Atlanta has been postponed to October. SECOND SAN FRANCISCO: Mon., Nov. 30, Embarcardero Hyatt again.

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I know they don’t compare morally to Elon Musk killing 14 million people, but I continue to be utterly amazed by the Independence Day-style bombing of the White House and Trump putting his name on someone else’s memorial. Now the Kennedy Center board has voted to put his name on JFK’s memorial AGAIN, after a judge told them only Congress can do so. First the tariffs, then the birthright citizenship executive order, and now the Trump Kennedy Center; he just keeps doing this shit again and again. (Gift link New York Times)

When you put all the grossly law-flaunting abusers and crooks in a row like this, and watched Trump pardon and endorse them all, it really is something! “Bring honor back to the White House,” remember that? (The Bulwark)

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Amanda Marcotte says we dodged a bullet with Francesca Hong not because Hong’s too progressive, but because her whole “abolish Thanksgiving” is the kind of joy-scolding we’re always being accused of. More fun and dancing and Mamdani’s Nani, less no holidays in the gulag. (Salon)

The anti-Muslim bigotry is actually astounding. (Paul Waldman at Public Notice) If you read nothing else in this Qasim Rashid post, scroll down to the Trump-style manly swole photoshops Abdul El-Sayed’s Michigan opponent Mike Rogers is posting, holy fuck. (Qasim Rashid) These people are beneath contempt. (Joe. My. God)

Here’s the opening paragraph of a Fifth Circuit ruling about voting by mail in Texas.

It has long been established that mail-in ballots are prone to fraud. See, e.g., Veasey v. Perry, 71 F. Supp. 3d 627, 676 (S.D. Tex. 2014) (“Mail-in ballots are not secure.”), aff’d in relevant part, 830 F.3d 216, 256 (5th Cir. 2016) (en banc). That is why voting by mail jeopardizes election integrity and democracy itself.

That’s a pretty bad ruling! (Ruling)

Not-Fifth-Circuit judge dismisses Trump administration’s bullshit lawsuit against Harvard. That’s a pretty good ruling! (Ruling)

We’re arresting people for speaking (during their public speaking time) at Texas county commissioner meetings again. But it’s not news because the people weren’t arrested for trying to overthrow the government or beat people up at abortion clinics, the only kind of arrests recognized as wrongful attacks on free speech in our nation. (Fort Worth Report)

This is now the second (2) empathetic to trans people New York Times stories I have read (the other one was an opera review). Anyway, being trans in Kansas and how impossible it is to just exist there, because of the oppression stoked by (they do not say this) people who listened to the New York Times. I certainly hope the editors of the New York Times listen to M. Gessen. (Gift link NYT)

We’ve got diarrhea lettuce, and climate change fucking up the fruit trees. Hope y’all like beef tallow, it’s what’s for dinner. (Civil Eats)

Laura Jedeed went to the Patriot Hunger Games where one (1) person wins a scholarship, and you’re not going to believe this, but it was stupid. (Jedeed)

Wonkette parties upcoming: SAN FRANCISCO in honor of Fukui, Fri., Aug. 21, 6 p.m., Hyatt Regency SF (Embarcadero); WINDSOR, MASS, potluck! Find your own place to camp or AirBnB near but not at Paul and Holly’s, Labor Day weekend: Holly says, “campfires and food and drink (BYO adult stuff) on Saturday and Sunday from noon(ish) to bedtime. For information shoot me an email. hollyturner at live dot com”; Atlanta has been postponed to October. SECOND SAN FRANCISCO: Mon., Nov. 30, Embarcardero Hyatt again.

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Good morning, it’s tabs!

The opera buffa that is the president in the catering truck is actually five separate very grave scandals in one. (Garrett Graff at Doomsday Scenario) Oh right, he then immediately went and bearded the reporters — whom he used as bait and on whom he sicced federal goons — at their own gala and they licked his boots. Reporters get some dignity challenge. (Our Liz at Public Notice)

Judge Jeanine, DC US Attorney, is convening a “special grand jury” to keep her job. Whom shall it persecute? That is for them to know and you to get secret-indicted. (KATV)

Guess we’ll find out if this former Southern Poverty Law Center CFO actually was doing self-enriching frauds or if her arrest is simple oppression by Todd Blanche on behalf of Elon Musk and other Nazis. My guess would be always be the latter! It is funny though that I’m even asking that question — did our side do something wrong? — instead of just insisting people who get in trouble for trying to overthrow the government or bomb an abortion clinic should be paid federal taxpayer compensation. (CNN)

But if you want to do some moneylaundering, turn on that washer! Shell companies are BACK! (FINCEN / The Fucking News)

New ICE torture trick from “Compliant Technologies”: Smell the G.L.O.V.E. (Lawyers Guns & Money)

Shut up, the news. Democrats aren’t “at war” at least not with each other. They’re unifying the fuck up, as is right and proper. (Laura Bassett at Nightcap)

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Mark Zuckerberg’s yacht a dick yacht. (AP)

Did Ohio Republian gubernatorial nominee Vivek Ramaswamy and his mother do a pump and dump scheme on his failed Alzheimer’s drug? Because it seems like Ohio Republican gubernatorial nominee Vivek Ramaswamy and his mother did a pump and dump scheme on his failed Alzheimer’s drug! (Oligarch Watch)

From a week ago, but I do think we should all be glad we’re not these British losers doing pogroms. (Guardian)

Time to fuck with the Census again! (Talking Points Memo)

One of you got me a Pope hat right? (Sun Times) If you’re already a subscriber, a reminder that the Democratic Socialists of America was born in the Catholic Left by folks from Dorothy Day’s Catholic Worker. (Paywalled, Letters From Leo)

From Type Click Type, my boyfriend Timothy Olyphant is adorable on talking shows, which I should have known since he’s my boyfriend. There’s a good January 6 joke too but regardless, my boyfriend, etc. *JUSTIFIED.*

Your friend Julie has all kinds of hand-sewn and hand-knit fripperies across a broad price range. Buy something for your cat or for you! Not an ad! (Julie’s Etsy Chaos Crafting Crones)

Wonkette parties upcoming: SAN FRANCISCO in honor of Fukui, Fri., Aug. 21, 6 p.m., Hyatt Regency SF (Embarcadero); WINDSOR, MASS, potluck! Find your own place to camp or AirBnB near but not at Paul and Holly’s, Labor Day weekend: Holly says, “campfires and food and drink (BYO adult stuff) on Saturday and Sunday from noon(ish) to bedtime. For information shoot me an email. hollyturner at live dot com”; Atlanta has been postponed to October. SECOND SAN FRANCISCO: Mon., Nov. 30, Embarcardero Hyatt again.

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Good morning, it’s tabs!

Hey so we’re winning the war in Iran right? Ahahahaahahaha. No. (Heather Cox Richardson)

Now Rand Paul and Ron Johnson are accusing Dr. Fauci of killing all the babies — saying the COVID vaccine caused miscarriages in 80 percent of pregnancies — because they love to take what happened and turn it into the literal opposite. This is going to become common wisdom. Don’t let it. (The Bulwark) It’s probably not religious discrimination when the Florida attorney general gets all up in the Catholic Church’s parochial school vaccine mandates, right? (Letters From Leo)

New Mexico state AG sues the Department of Justice for withholding Epstein Files. (Joyce Vance)

Trump’s deported a million jobs in the past year. Great work everybody, if you can get it, which you can’t. (The Fucking News)

Chris Geidner has some pertinent questions about when Trump left all the reporters on the plane that was under threat, as bait. (Law Dork)

Trump administration wants Judge Jeanine to take another crack at prosecuting the Reflecting Pool guy whom Judge Jeanine has already explained did nothing wrong at all, these people are unwell. They're giving him race car days and Wrestlemania days and he keeps waking up mad at imaginary pool destroyers. (Gift link Wall Street Journal)

Trans men using the women’s rooms in Kansas, as is required by very stupid law, pretty uncomfortable for everyone! (Erin in the Morning)

We’re relitigating “Woke One” now, so, okay, Beutler’s take on AOC’s comments that “Woke One” was a little “crazy” seems thoughtful, I’ll buy in. (Brian Beutler)

These are very good Axios bullet points about what this person went through working at Vice o.O (Pirate Wires)

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CLEVELAND AND PITTSBURGH FIELD TRIP REPORT

We did not think Cleveland and Pittsburgh would have so much Live Nude Dong, but there was dong, and it was nude and live.

Dong at the party? No dong at the party, that we know of. But here are some of your favorite Wonkpals, and other Wonkpals who are your favorites in the future because you haven’t met them yet! Identify yourself in the comments if you so choose! Josh flew from Seattle to Missoula but then he fell asleep and missed us, so he flew from Seattle to Cleveland. Josh wins.

More Cleveland!

Shy and I stayed an extra night in Cleveland and mostly wandered around the development on the riverfront, across from the Aquarium. It was very fakey and sort of felt like it had been designed by AI, and it was not our favorite. It was so un-our-favorite we did not even buy a drink! A ‘90s-themed Friends bar? Huh?

On our way back to the hotel, walking a not very-pedestrian section, we surprised a young man who was standing in a nook in the wall by the sidewalk. He was young and handsome and presumably bananas, as he was standing very still with his pants down and his peenerwanger sort of at eye level. “OH HELLO IS EVERYTHING OKAY?” I shouted-ish as we kept walking, and he shouted after me that EVERYTHING WAS FINE, HE’S OKAY, HE WANTS ME TO KNOW THAT HE’S OKAY. So that guy is okay, okay everyone?

Relevant to Ohio, I have been friends with Gov. Mike DeWine’s nephew Skeith for 30 years; back then I would put in my OC Weekly column whatever scandals Skeith was up to, and DeWine’s staff would call Skeith up and ask him to be less publicly gay. Didn’t think that guy would end up being one of the better Republicans, but the bar, she is very very low.

Skeith lost his mom Melodye this week; she was a fabulous jazz singer and a magnificent cook and dinner party hostess, and every time Skeith and I would be out together doing something ridiculously innocent like going to the Strawberry Festival and yelling at Christopher Cross, both our moms would call us at the same time to demand to know why we were out goofing off instead of working and the answer “BUT MOM, IT’S SATURDAY” was no answer at all, and I love you, Skeith.

We saw more dong in Pittsburgh but it was ART DONG.

And then what time was it? PITTSBURGH WONKFESTZEIT! Several friends including Seth Triggs, Jim the trauma nurse (ret.), Dirk and his daughter Brooke and son-in-law Don joined us again after Cleveland. And many other friends joined too. Hiiii friends hiiiii! Thanks to the Warren Bar and Burrow for excellent hospitality.

Since Mondays are my day off, we stuck around Pittsburgh an extra day after our Pitt Booze and Fun. First up, the Andy Warhol Museum! Of course it was beautifully done and curated; so much of his shit was dark and morbid — suicides, car crashes, Jackie Kennedy at the worst moment of her life, guns —and I did not care for the giant guns though I did love the giant skulls. Warhol was making $70,000 a year as an illustrator in the 1950s, which is a preposterous amount of money; I find most of his career too grasping and thirsty — at fame, at money, at the need for constant exposure or he might die, at pretty bodies — but I think most of us would agree that it was his life, that grasping, that was the art form, and not necessarily the art itself (though I do enjoy his illustrations).

My mom always said she saw all eight hours of Warhol’s Empire in the theaters and loved it so much. I don’t believe her.

Boobs.

I did an Andy Warhol Museum screentest. I find me mesmerizing.

Now put that on an eight-hour loop just kidding.

Finally, we stopped at Randyland, sort of Opposite-Landy Warhol, only kindness and light and empathy and other orientation and being kind to oneself. (Pictures taken with a proper donation.)

NEXT UP: SAN FRANCISCO in honor of Fukui, Fri., Aug. 21, Hyatt Regency SF (Embarcadero); WINDSOR, MASS, potluck! Find your own place to camp or AirBnB near but not at Paul and Holly’s, Labor Day weekend; Atlanta has been postponed.

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Good morning friends, time to make the donuts!

Wonkparties Booze and Fun! Join us for snacks and drinks on me, or, when noted, potluck! CLEVELAND, Saturday, Aug. 8, 1-3 p.m., at Boss Dog Brewing Company, 2179 Lee Rd, Cleveland Heights, OH 44118 (THAT IS TOMORROW!); PITTSBURGH, Sunday, Aug. 9, 4-7 p.m., at Warren Bar and Burrow, 245 7th St, Pittsburgh, PA 15222 (THAT IS THIS SUNDAY!); SAN FRANCISCO in honor of Fukui, Fri., Aug. 21, Hyatt Regency SF (Embarcadero); WINDSOR, MASS, potluck! Find your own place to camp or AirBnB near but not at Paul and Holly’s, Labor Day weekend; Atlanta has been postponed.

NICE TIME: For the first time ever anywhere, a state (California) got a majority of its energy from solar power this May :D :D D: (Canary Media)

Whom are we holding in contempt for asserting his constitutional rights today? (AP)

I’m real sure the Supreme Court just ruled no, Donald Trump does not actually get to decide who is a citizen, but he’s decided not to listen today again. (Executive Order)

No, Tommy Tuberville, I really don’t think Abdul El-Sayed is a terrorist, and I think that’s a very strange thing to say! (Salon)

Purple state Wisconsin isn’t full to bursting with centrists and moderates; it swings wildly between very-progressives and feral Republicans. No reason this can’t be Francesca Hong’s year! (Ryan Cooper at The American Prospect)

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So Tucker Carlson is going to run for president probably I guess, but what really stood out to me in this False Flag post is that the putatively leftist Young Turks is having white nationalist former “counterterror” chief Joe Kent on their show to talk about “alliances.” Fuck your red-brown alliance Cenk Uygur and Tucker Carlson, and fuck yourselves. (The Bulwark)

Good for the like three people on the Green Party nominating zoom call who pointed out that the possible MAGA operative they ended up nominating for the Michigan Seventh, like, they don’t know him? Everybody else: Booooooooooooooooo. (The Bulwark)

Paris Hilton being cool again on a different topic this time. Man, never saw that coming in the 2000s. In this case, she’s backing a bill by AOC and a Republican in Florida to ban deepfake nudes, which passed the Senate by unanimous consent but can’t get a vote in the House because they don’t want AOC to have a win. Petty bitches. (Independent)

It is a banger, Count Binface, it is!

Hey, what if we didn’t allow people to bet on when and where the next wildfires would be arsoned occur completely naturally we’re sure? (Guardian)

North Carolina teen charged with assaulting herself with a deadly weapon (abortion pills). Everything’s going great. (Abortion, Every Day)

From the comments: Flower fairies! (Worriedman)

From my trip to the Insectarium in Montreal in June: Actual fairies!

Hmmm, seems like Sex Purge The Movie might not be awesome! (RogerEbert.com)

So relaxing for Grandma! Have a 6-7 day! (McSweeney’s)

Blast from the past: Paul Slansky invites you to luxuriate in Murray Kempton’s Trump-loathing column from 40 years ago. (There Is No Bottom)

Played this one for my mama this morning. Thank you, Jesus. Thank you, lord!

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Good morning good morning, it’s time for your tabs!

Here’s Ron Wyden’s full Epstein Report, with the caveat that the Republicans and the Trump Treasury blocked the shit out of his investigation, hmmmm can’t imagine why that might be. (Senate Finance)

Jeanine Pirro tried to make her don’t-can-me case to Trump with evidence that the Reflecting Pool terrorism was shoddy workmanship the whole time? Bold strategy, Cotton. Let’s see if it pays off! (Gift link Wall Street Journal)

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27 Thoughts About 44 Women. Wait, that’s not right. 27 thoughts about the primary and stuff. Brian Beutler is sanguine about Abdul El-Sayed in Michigan. He is NOT sanguine about Francesca Hong in Wisconsin’s gubernatorial race. Why? He doesn’t say! Is it because she hates all holidays? Because honestly I think it’s hilarious. (But I can also see weak-minded people responding to the slur on Motherhood and American Pie.) (Beutler)

I will not be at Friday’s Michigan Democrats Whole Ticket rally from 5 to 7 p.m. in Detroit, because I will instead be headed toward Cleveland for Wonkparty Booze and Fun. But you should totally go! (Michigan Dem rally Sign up)

This woman, Joanna Whaley, who will likely become Michigan’s first trans state House rep, used to be an evangelical pastor, can you even imagine what that must have been like? (Detroit Free Press)

Eleventh Circuit loooves Florida’s drag ban, obviously. They love it so much they want to opposite sex marry it. (Gift link Miami Herald) Here’s a real bad one. Trans and enby couple were gang-stomped for using a public restroom in Louisiana, required hospitalization, got arrested. The parish responded by outlawing trans people using the bathroom. I am so sorry. (Erin in the Morning)

Hmmm, I don’t know why I thought Senate Majority Leader John Thune had a SLIGHTLY, SO TINY bit more backbone than other Republicans senators (why did I think that? That was so weird of me!). Anyway, Thune also says Congressman Max Miller (allegedly!) beating on women and toddlers including Thune’s fellow Republican senator’s daughter and granddaughter is a “family matter” and for all of them to sort out. (Tiedrich)

Well, we all make mistakes sometimes, so it is good journalism to FIX IT when you find that you have accidentally uncritically believed reporting by the New York Post. That’s when you run a story instead on “Actually here’s a lot of 9/11 families who AREN’T crazy bigots and DON’T think Zohran Mamdani will put us all in camps!” CBS News really does seem like it’s still trying despite Bari Weiss tapdancing on journalism’s face like A Clockwork Orange. (Popular Info)

Military families pissed about conditions at sea, like maybe Pete Hegseth should teach them all how to clean their moldy bathrooms instead of how to cut their hair. Anyway, apparently things are gross (and also we’re all out of missiles). (MS Now / Reuters)

DHS is sending bounty hunters to try to collect fines from immigrants who self-deported to their home countries. Trump still shaking these people down like they have student loans. (Wired)

It’s weird and gross but it’s still interesting: How youtubers and influencers pivot to new idiot things people are interested in. And damn, there’s a lot of paperwork for that (still pretty hefty) paycheck! Now all the brands want substackers, apparently. Tell them to send this mommyblog to Amsterdam. (New York mag)

Or Paris. I would accept Paris, to see this river they’ve been liberating from its concrete prison! (Reasons to Be Cheerful)

My daughter loves this song about Les Wexner. It’s a pretty good song!

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Good morning of loves! Care for some news and things?

Ron Wyden’s Epstein Report just dropped. (Bloomberg gift link, I think)

Don’t yet know what happened with the Abdul/Haley Stevens Dem primary cagematch in my neck of the woods, but it sure looked like we won and by we I mean Abdul El-Sayed. Here is an interview with the New Yorker and god damn, he is good at thinking things through and then putting them in sentences where the clauses all match up properly and dang! What a smart guy! Don’t be turned off by the clickbait headline! (New Yorker)

Are centrist Dems about to go wilding? Maaaaaybe, because Abdul (as well as, next week, Francesca Hong in the WI gov race) might have just won. I don’t know, it’s still early on Tuesday, I’m writing ahead! Stop wilding, centrist Dems. Always remember it’s Vote Blue No Matter Who. (Paul Waldman at Public Notice)

The Normie Democratic Revolt! We mad. (NOTUS)

Like six Democratic nominees are pastors, and the Republicans are furious. No fair, RELIGION IS THEIRS. (Religion News Service)

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Here’s all 23 minutes of Max Miller (UGH) on Jake Tapper. It is O.O

Wonk pal Jonathan Larsen has some thoughts on Bernie Moreno and Max Miller (UGH) and Bernie Moreno’s fellow Ohio Republican Senator John Husted and his race against Sherrod Brown, but I’m too distracted by wondering if a lunar orbit isn’t a month instead of a night and I’m not sure I can finish the whole post now. Okay I went back and read it and there were many many interesting topics! (The Fucking News)

For instance!

HEART EYES EMOJI! Donate aqui: Gina For Texas.

Also via that TFN: Tim Kaine says some of the “drug dealers” we’ve been murdering on boats weren’t drug dealers at all, though of course it would have been murder anyway. (Kaine letter)

The Army killed everybody aboard a medical flight in New Mexico, AMERICA, in May, and we’re just hearing about it now? HUH. (Wired / Futurism if Wired’s paywalled)

Are we arresting National Guardspeople in their front yards because they are being critical of weird ICE deployment, or because they “assaulted” another National Guardspeople earlier but somehow there aren’t any charges? Guess we’ll never know. (NPR)

Has Jeanine Pirro been fired yet? How about … now? (Jeff Tiedrich)

This nursing home “voter fraud” case the Trump administration is waving around is shameful, and my god that poor woman. (Gift link Houston Chronicle)

Personally, if I had been debanked over concerns about moneylaundering I would not sue the bank that debanked me over concerns about moneylaundering, because then they might counter that the reason they debanked me was because I’m a big fat crooked moneylaunderer. But I am not Donald Trump, so the fuck I know? (The Hill)

Wonkparties Booze and Fun! Join us for snacks and drinks on me, or, when noted, potluck! Cleveland, Saturday, Aug. 8, 1-3 p.m., at Boss Dog Brewing Company, 2179 Lee Rd, Cleveland Heights, OH 44118; Pittsburgh, Sunday, Aug. 9, 4-7 p.m., at Warren Bar and Burrow, 245 7th St, Pittsburgh, PA 15222; SAN FRANCISCO IN HONOR OF FUKUI (Fri., Aug. 21, Hyatt Regency SF [Embarcadero]); WINDSOR, MASS, potluck! Find your own place to camp or AirBnB near but not at Paul and Holly’s, Labor Day weekend); Atlanta has been postponed.

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Three days starting with a Nice Time! Now those are some poll numbers how you say in the shitter. (The New Republic)

Hooo, at link is a GREAT picture of (pic isn’t there any longer, but he was SO GRR MAD IN IT) Todd Blanche, whose attorney general nomination Trump is considering pulling because even the Republicans (or at least the ones Trump threw into the cornfield) won’t vote for the guy who promised the J6ers one BILLION dollars. (New York Times)

Rockin’ roadkill with RFK Jr. (Some fucking cooking show page ugh gross)

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Trump’s trying to grift up your science. I mean, he already broke it, but he’s trying to do that special thing he does. (Lisa Needham at Public Notice)

Fifteen years for Colin Gray, the dad who was told by local cops “hey looks like y’all got a buddin’ school shooter here,” paraphrase, so he went and bought him an AR-15. What the fuck is wrong with all y’all, no paraphrase. (ABC News)

Mandela Barnes has dropped out of the Wisconsin gov race, and if this story is correct, it seems he was … single and slutty? Is that really all? No milkshake duck, just bein’ young and hot and a lieutenant governor and chicks accepted to bone him? Damn. Anyway, Francesca Hong seems cool. (NOTUS)

And St. Paul MN Mayor Kaohly Her, it sounds like your sense of humor is super terrible, like eh uh whut? And I say that as somebody who dated one subordinate and then married a second one, all of this sounds worse as you read on, what you doing man. (MPR)

V. Marx Demon Hunter still hunting demons and running for Colorado gov! (9 News)

My goodness, that’s a big tax cut for Montana corporations and millionaires while everybody else’s property taxes went up 40 percent, yowch! (Monica Tranel)

G. Elliott Morris talks to Wisconsin Democratic Party chair Ben Wikler — who most Democrats are probably regretting about now they didn’t vote in to chair the DNC BUT ALSO I’m not mad at the current DNC chair Ken Martin for doing a Fifty State Strat either — about how to unfuck democracy should we get the (very shortlived) chance to in 2028. It’s a podcast, but you can click ‘transcript’ up top. (Morris)

Gosh I hope Republicans’ really disgusting gerrymandering and Supreme Court Voting Rights Act-killing don’t backfire on them with Southern voters of the less-Pantone Color of the Year persuasion. (The Guardian)

All of Europe to boycott FIFA World Cup for real if they sell a big fat stake to Jared Kushner’s vulture fund brother. Is this why FIFA’s been up Trump’s ass? All for a little bit of money? Well I just don’t understand it. (ESPN)

Where is the country of Africa and can Marco Rubio’s State Department get it 100 percent wrong? Bless the rains. (The Guardian)

What are y’all watching with ZiggyWiggy for Wonkette Movie Night this Saturday night at 9 p.m. Eastern? Dark Passage, available for free with ads on Tubi and Plex; $3.99 in the usual places. Free on OKRU. So hop to!

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