Three days starting with a Nice Time! Now those are some poll numbers how you say in the shitter. (The New Republic)

Hooo, at link is a GREAT picture of (pic isn’t there any longer, but he was SO GRR MAD IN IT) Todd Blanche, whose attorney general nomination Trump is considering pulling because even the Republicans (or at least the ones Trump threw into the cornfield) won’t vote for the guy who promised the J6ers one BILLION dollars. (New York Times)

Rockin’ roadkill with RFK Jr. (Some fucking cooking show page ugh gross)

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Trump’s trying to grift up your science. I mean, he already broke it, but he’s trying to do that special thing he does. (Lisa Needham at Public Notice)

Fifteen years for Colin Gray, the dad who was told by local cops “hey looks like y’all got a buddin’ school shooter here,” paraphrase, so he went and bought him an AR-15. What the fuck is wrong with all y’all, no paraphrase. (ABC News)

Mandela Barnes has dropped out of the Wisconsin gov race, and if this story is correct, it seems he was … single and slutty? Is that really all? No milkshake duck, just bein’ young and hot and a lieutenant governor and chicks accepted to bone him? Damn. Anyway, Francesca Hong seems cool. (NOTUS)

And St. Paul MN Mayor Kaohly Her, it sounds like your sense of humor is super terrible, like eh uh whut? And I say that as somebody who dated one subordinate and then married a second one, all of this sounds worse as you read on, what you doing man. (MPR)

V. Marx Demon Hunter still hunting demons and running for Colorado gov! (9 News)

My goodness, that’s a big tax cut for Montana corporations and millionaires while everybody else’s property taxes went up 40 percent, yowch! (Monica Tranel)

G. Elliott Morris talks to Wisconsin Democratic Party chair Ben Wikler — who most Democrats are probably regretting about now they didn’t vote in to chair the DNC BUT ALSO I’m not mad at the current DNC chair Ken Martin for doing a Fifty State Strat either — about how to unfuck democracy should we get the (very shortlived) chance to in 2028. It’s a podcast, but you can click ‘transcript’ up top. (Morris)

Gosh I hope Republicans’ really disgusting gerrymandering and Supreme Court Voting Rights Act-killing don’t backfire on them with Southern voters of the less-Pantone Color of the Year persuasion. (The Guardian)

All of Europe to boycott FIFA World Cup for real if they sell a big fat stake to Jared Kushner’s vulture fund brother. Is this why FIFA’s been up Trump’s ass? All for a little bit of money? Well I just don’t understand it. (ESPN)

Where is the country of Africa and can Marco Rubio’s State Department get it 100 percent wrong? Bless the rains. (The Guardian)

What are y’all watching with ZiggyWiggy for Wonkette Movie Night this Saturday night at 9 p.m. Eastern? Dark Passage, available for free with ads on Tubi and Plex; $3.99 in the usual places. Free on OKRU. So hop to!

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Good morning, it’s tabs time!

Let’s start with a Nice Times, as has been our habit now for two whole days in a row: Serpico’s 90 and still alive, and his mentee is NYC’s new sheriff in town! (Yes, New York City has a sheriff. And he’s ADORABLE.) (Gift link New York Times)

Elon Musk’s whole Turner Diaries-infused “hang the traitors” thing (he means race traitors, he means all of us) is grosser and scarier and ickier than you thought. The media should notice that more! (Gift link Jamelle Bouie New York Times)

Speaking of, why does Musk lie that no children were killed by his DOGE cuts to USAID? Because he wants us to understand that he’s lying but it doesn’t matter: No children were killed who matter to him. (The New Republic)

He should spend more time being mad about The Odyssey and less time killing children and threatening to hang us, except his Odyssey thing is ALSO about how we’re all race traitors, ugh. (Charlotte Clymer)

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That was good of [J]eff [T]iedrich to watch Lindsey Graham’s funeral for us and also gif the moment when the dude behind Trump got a snootful of poop. ([T]iedrich)

Most Senate Democrats except for the usual good ones, in order to “honor Lindsey Graham” hahahahaha horck, just voted to give Trump vague tariff authority, supposedly for sanctions on Russia and Iran but in no way limited to that? Lol WTF. (The Hill)

Democrat and cutie (and nephew of Wonker Leslie) Sam Forstag might WIN for Congress in Montana? What a weird midterm cycle! (The New Republic Blue Book, scroll down)

Mona Charen’s THE DSA IS COMING bullshit is … oh I already said it’s bullshit? Right, that. (The Farce)

If you are an old in a nursing home, you have the right to vote! So Donald Trump rescinded a reminder to nursing home operators reminding them of that fact. Now why would he want to do that? (Brian Beutler)

Christian preachers proselytizing to the whole plane? OH NO THANK YOU. (Friendly Atheist)

From the comments, Meta and Newsmax joining up to create AI news is some real dystopian shit! (Newsmax)

Department of Justice fucked around, and verily diddeth it find out. (Our Liz at Public Notice)

Trump lawyers sued BBC and now whoops there is discovery. (Status Kuo)

But who will perform “Fairytale of New York” at Glen Hansard’s funeral?

WONKMEETS AHOY. CLEVELAND (Aug. 8), PITTSBURGH (Aug. 9), SAN FRANCISCO IN HONOR OF FUKUI (Aug. 21), WINDSOR, MASS (camp near but not at Paul and Holly’s, Labor Day weekend)! Atlanta has been postponed. TIME TO PARTY!

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Look who’s back! Back again!

Let’s start straight off with a nice time, we could use it. New James Talarico/Ken Paxton poll numbers aqui! Click through for some absolutely deranged photos of the candidates: Paxton looks like he’s wearing an Edgar suit, and Talarico looks like Hermey the elf who wanted to be a dentist. Plus numbers :D (Texas Tribune)

Now cover your eyes and run real fast past this one, about the toddler found crying in a field next to her murdered parents we deported to Guatemala, you don’t need to read that. (STLPR)

DHS numbers nerd resigned. Good for DHS numbers nerd. (Wired)

I haven’t read this lady’s essay about her long-ago affair with Gavin Newsom, but what am I going to do, NOT link you this lady’s essay about her long-ago affair with Gavin Newsom? As if. I will say “Ruby Rippey” is a very good name for a woman having an affair with a politician. VERY good! (Vanity Fair)

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This is what a data center sounds like. HOOOO-EY. (Gizmodo) The haters’ guide to them? Ayup! (Drew Magary at SF Gate) Relatedish, these perv glasses. (Oligarch Watch)

CBS News is still doing good work despite it all. Like what the fuck is this, with Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis appointing Ashley Moody to the US Senate, and she turned around and gave his wife Casey all of the dough? (CBS News)

New York Post full of shit again, Mamdani edition (again). (Popular Info)

Midwife argues she needs to not argue with vaccine-hesitant -idiotic clients but is somehow supposed to I don’t know mindmeld them without a lecture I guess. I simply would not be able to, I think. But if she manages it, bless her, lord’s work, etc. (Stat News)

Is “hating Anthony Fauci six years later” enough to get Republicans to turn out the vote? I mean, it could happen I guess. (No More Mister Nice Blog)

This thing’s dumber than the Italian space lasers. Rightwing idiot Trumper Argentine president Javier Milei says the US Democrats did some kinda CONSPIRADAD to make people mad at Argentina during the World Cup because of how we hate freedom, like Argentina wasn’t capable of pissing off the world all by itsself. (The Guardian)

Some optimism from Frederick Douglass, because we could fuckin use some! (Ryan Cooper at The American Prospect)

And we’re coming full circle with James Talarico again, and what is manhood and Murica? Adam Serwer has thoughts! (Gift link The Atlantic)

What time is it? MONTANA WONKMEET PIX TIME! Some of you did not find us and I am so sorry and I love you. On the other hand, I had food poisoning from the most delicious bowl of ramen I have ever (luckily only half-) eaten, so I wasn’t the most greatest happy fun ball of all time anyway. But you could have met all these nice folks, plus some people who were there either later or earlier! They were so fun and nice!

They came to Missoula, Montana, from everywhere and I mean everywhere US at least: We had folks from Alaska, the Florida Keys, Texas, I think Virginia?, and DC. Also a very good dog named Noodle. It was hot as shit, and again, I had food poisoning, but that didn’t stop people from coming and sitting in the hot goddamn wind next to the river. Also our friend Rene (not pictured because Did Not Attend) made cupcakes. She even got the W right!

The day before our party, being on a NINE DAY VACATION, WHICH I NEEDED, TELL YOU WHAT, we floated the Clark Fork. Not pictured: The eagle flying six feet off the water, headed straight for Shy’s head, holding a fish and chased by a second eagle. It was fuckin awesome. Then it fought with a hawk, but I didn’t see that part, I had gotten spun around.

Those first pictures are in Greenough Park, where Shy took me on the 24th day of our 24-day first date, 12 years ago now almost and which you can see aqui on Take Your Family for a Walk Day in winter white wedding! And in that second row of pictures (pictured: me! and Shy!) you can see a stretch of river behind Shy’s shoulder there where we met the nicest Nazi when Donna was a baby a decade ago. He really was! Couldn’t have been nicer, young Loki, and it took a while to realize his tattoo was a Graham Platner-sized and -placed swastika on his tit. #Relevant!

Before spending three days in Missoula, we stayed five days on a ranch outside Ronan, under the Mission Mountains, close to our good son, daughter-in-law, and fresh new granddaughter, Lucy.

Driving up to the ranch, hosted by the genuinely nicest rightwing Christians, Shy wanted to know why exactly we’d ever left Montana again? I had to remind him how people reacted to our girls wearing masks just because there was a global pandemic (like they wanted to hurt our small child and grandchild, or else just us), and to our mixed-race granddaughter existing (their faces were quite loud!). But oh were these nice people, and oh was their land beautiful.

You guys want to see all the liberals in Polson, Montana? Meet my best friends, Susan and Tika. Everybody say hiiiii Susan and Tika!

This has been your Montana field trip report, GOODBYE.

WONKMEETS AHOY. CLEVELAND (Aug. 8), PITTSBURGH (Aug. 9), SAN FRANCISCO IN HONOR OF FUKUI (Aug. 21), WINDSOR, MASS (camp near but not at Paul and Holly’s, Labor Day weekend)! Atlanta has been postponed. TIME TO PARTY!

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The ICE agent who shot Joan Sebastian Guerrero was new, had previously been fired from volunteer firefighting for being a big yelly hothead, and thought his ex-wife, who said he was abusive, would lie for him and vouch for his character. So sound judgment all around. (Portland Press Herald)

Even (retired) Cardinal Dolan, who is a huge dick, knows that immigrants are a whole Jesusy and Catholic thing, and now MAGA is, as usual, piiiiiissed. (Letters From Leo)

Meanwhile, actual law professor Ilan Wurman should be mortified with his little “some savages are just incapable of America” grossness, but it is hard to get a man to be mortified when his paycheck etc. etc. (Beau Baumann) And also meanwhile, the White House is explaining that the Chinese Exclusion Act is totally legal, totally cool. (Forbes)

Some Republican senators have mild concerns that Todd Blanche, currently the (acting) attorney general and probably soon to be the real one, may not be entirely on the up and up about his January 6 crime droog slush fund! (Madiba K. Dennie at Balls and Strikes)

Get back to me when it was non-consensual, harassment, or Ruben Gallego was married, and I’ll be sure to give it a listen. (New York Post)

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Please enjoy all three minutes of Thom Tillis absolutely wilding out on Russ Vought demanding to know where DOGE’s savings are, why they can’t point to anybody, and why the fuck they fired all the best people, also he said shit.

Hey, remember when we were all like HEY DOGE, WE PROBABLY NEED THE NATIONAL WEATHER SERVICE, PLEASE DON’T FIRE ERREBODY BEFORE HURRICANE SEASON, and they were all like shut the fuck up, we hate you and want you to die? Well we may have been onto something. (Capital Weather)

Democrat Amy Acton in Ohio didn’t have to throw trans children to the wolves; she chose to of her own free will. (Erin in the Morning)

Republicans are skipping abortion and going straight to birth control? That doesn’t make a goddamn lick of sense. Jessica Valenti says they’re counting on us to assume it doesn’t make a goddamn lick of sense, and therefore letting our abortifacient guards down. (Abortion, Every Day)

It’s okay, Ken Paxton! I am pretty sure the Supreme Court has ruled or will rule in the future that a $275,000 payoff is just a perfectly legal bonus incentive or some such! (Texas Tribune)

Dude being prosecuted for “vandalizing” (not vandalizing) the Reflecting Pool would like his camera back, the one they seized and which shows that he took pictures of the (not a gash) ruined lining before he ever touched it. (Filing)

The military is investigating the funnest day ever, if you love being whipped with sand at low altitude! What a bunch of killjoys! (Stars and Stripes)

The Secret of the Treasure of the Sierra Madre! (Wikipedia)

Are you watching the beluga whales RIGHT NOW? Well what’s stopping you?

Parties upcoming! MISSOULA (July 25), CLEVELAND (Aug. 8) AND PITTSBURGH (Aug. 9), and SONOMA/SF (Nov. 30)! Atlanta has been postponed. TIME TO PARTY!

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Good morning, and GOOD TROUBLE! Check here for John Lewis action events around the country this weekend! (Good Trouble Lives On)

The timeline in the shooting of Lorenzo Salgado Araujo, guess what, they’re fucking lying! (Gift link Houston Chronicle) I guess Texas Gov. Greg Abbott has been gettin’ a fuckin’ EARFUL, as he says ICE shouldn’t shoot people, not even if they’re Mexican! Also, Texas Rangers will be investigating Araujo’s death. (Gift link Houston Chron)

That’s a whole lot of 2025-2026 injuries by ICE for “crowd control.” (The Guardian)

It’s not bad-faith to blame Trump for the explosive diarrhea when he cut the monitoring for the explosive diarrhea. (Unfortunately paywalled Brian Beutler, who should consider paywalling fewer of his posts)

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I guess Pete Hegseth’s not getting enough attention lately, he wants to test our troops’ precious bodily fluids and life essence to sniff out low-T troops, or as it’s called around these parts, gender-affirming care. (The Guardian) He blocked all the female officers from being promoted again. He didn’t even check their testosterone first! (Gift link New York Times)

Yes, Adam Carolla, what you and “most every guy you know” does is called rape, not “standard drunken blue collar dude behavior.” (Amanda Marcotte at Salon)

What would happen if we tripled union membership, getting it back to 1950s levels? You are nerds, you should find out by reading this report! (Economic Policy Institute)

SpaceX stock is dropping. But don’t worry it will probably shoot back up because the stock market no longer has any sort of correlation to real-world profit and loss. (BBC)

In addition to not waking up every morning to yellow skies and wildfire smoke, clean energy is also a hell of a lot cheaper, like, money-wise. Bill McKibben with … receipts. (McKibben)

The beeeeeeeeeees!!!!!!! :D :D :D (Eco Portal)

Parties upcoming! MISSOULA (July 25), CLEVELAND (Aug. 8) AND PITTSBURGH (Aug. 9), and SONOMA/SF (Nov. 30)! Atlanta has been postponed. TIME TO PARTY!

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Good morning good morning! Let’s have some news and things!

Not afraid to be servicey! Why The Explosive Diarrhea Parasite Is Way Worse Than Regular Diarrhea Parasites. (Defector)

This is your last chance to revisit The Corruption of Lindsey Graham before his name is lost to nobody ever caring again. (Will Saletan)

They should have named the Defense bill after him or something, oh wait that wouldn’t have helped either? Dems tank Defense bill, HA HA. (Politico)

Trump was literally going to do “protection money” for any ships transiting the Strait of Hormuz, but now I guess someone has told him that’s a bad look? And he listened? I don’t know, now he is “not” going to do protection money for ships transiting the Strait of Hormuz. (Also, he probably can’t actually protect them.) (NYT) Ohhhh, he probably backed off because energy prices spiked when he announced we’re a pirate now. (Popular Info) If you are already a Bulwark subscriber, this story is much much better than the NYT’s. (Bulwark)

“This is your fault, Susan.” Yes. Yes it is. (The Fucking News)

Bitch finally had E. Jean Carroll’s money. (CNBC)

Idiot’s still insisting there was a gash in the Reflecting Pool even after they drained it and there was no gash. Something something the Party had one final command. Also I really wish we’d all stop saying gash. (Tiedrich)

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I hadn’t seen this accounting of all the cartels Marco Rubio is doing business with. How strange! (The American Prospect)

Whole bunch of orgs suing for the tort of teen pregnancy is bad actually, you fucking numpties. (Public Citizen)

Judge takes “unitary executive theory” and shoves it up Trump’s yang. (Joe Patrice at Above the Law)

Saw some excerpts from this on Bluesky and I am afraid to read the whole thing! When AI Is a Member of the Family :/ (New Yorker)

New York to data centers: Drop dead. (NBC News)

Mamdani’s “PIT Crew.” I don’t even know what it is and I’m so fucking jealous and excited. (Don Moynihan)

DEATH PANTS! (CBC)

Parties upcoming! MISSOULA (July 25), CLEVELAND (Aug. 8) AND PITTSBURGH (Aug. 9), and SONOMA/SF (Nov. 30)! Atlanta has been postponed. TIME TO PARTY!

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Good morning, happy Friday, it’s time for your tabs!

Lorenzo Salgado Araujo was a better man than any of these puds, and he taught his birthright citizen children how to be better men than any of these puds, and that’s why they’re so terrified of immigrants. Which isn’t exactly what this Bulwark post says but it’s what I’m thinking about while I read it. (The Bulwark)

The three top people who might replace Graham Platner (PTOOEY! SPIT THREE TIMES AND TURN AROUND!) on the Maine ballot in … fuuuuuck 117 days. (Liberal Currents)

Open this longread tab for later, it’s really good! On who’s the base and which faction is trying to ratfuck whom and the original sin of how we became Weak and ever so much more. We all share some of the blame! Some share more blame than others. (Brian Beutler)

The stupid mortifying embarrassment that was the MAGAfied nation’s birthday party for the glorification of Trump may not have just been a stupid mortifying embarrassment, but also a crime? (Our Liz at Public Notice)

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Wait, so the farmers just got an actually binding agreement on “right to repair” from John Deere via Trump’s FTC? Well … I will take yes for an answer! (404 Media)

Last week I got real fuckin earnest and asked you all to share Wonkette — particularly those of you we’re linking to every day in these here tabs AHEM — and y’all DID NOT. Well, here’s just one reason why we’re getting clobbered. Surprise it’s Google and the AI! (Drew Magary at SF Gate)

This made me laugh out loud for being so terrible: FEMA is threatening to withhold anti-terror funds unless states promise to do illegal things with their voter rolls. (Democracy Docket)

It’s not actually funny, though, terrorism is awful! This 1975 LaGuardia bombing I never heard of because I am a spring chicken of only 53 — and the huge, still unsolved bombing, which was the biggest act of terrorism in the US since the Wall Street bombing in 1920, is no longer part of New Yorkers’ collective memory. (Elon Green at Slate)

It’s not just getting to yell at “dictator” Zohran Mamdani, it’s Trump’s war on energy efficiency literally so we’ll buy more fossil fuels, and it stinks! (Gift link Bloomberg)

Why? Because solar’s doing awesome, even in the US! DO MORE SOLAR, GUYS! (Inside Climate News)

Everything you need to know about John Oliver, soap opera villain! (Type Click Type)

Bonnie Tyler has died at 75. Spin around ninjas!

Parties upcoming! MISSOULA (July 25), CLEVELAND (Aug. 8) AND PITTSBURGH (Aug. 9), and SONOMA/SF (Nov. 30)! Atlanta has been postponed. TIME TO PARTY!

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Whose turn is it to be fucking furious at Graham Platner and his dickfor (collective noun) of bros? (And Ryan Grim hadn’t even posted this yet.) Charlotte Clymer, you’re up! (Charlotte’s Web Thoughts) Yes, “the establishment” tried to take down Zohran Mamdani by supporting a sex pest (and olds murderer), but they didn’t take down Graham Platner. That was women looking out for each other, and the media. (Noah Berlatsky at Everything Is Horrible)

If Only There Had Been a Sign That the Face-Melting Nazi from Indiana Jones Wouldn’t Make a Good Senator. (McSweeney’s)

Ah well, nevertheless! Elaine Chao said her husband Mitch McConnell’s health — maybe most sincerely dead? — “didn’t warrant” flying back from China. (She is apparently back in the US now.) (Daily Beast)

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Did Ken Paxton vote fraud? WELL DID HE? (Pro Publica)

Oh yeah, we’re hauling off the flu experts and COVID scientists. (Gift link The Atlantic)

ICE keeps killing people and lying about it, and absolutely nobody believes them, Houston small business construction man dad edition. What a beautiful family! (The Bulwark) Yay we didn’t put the Wisconsin judge in jail? I guess? (The Guardian)

Pretty damn fast for Trump to ditch his gilded Qatari bribe zeppelin. But he claims he needed to tour it around some bases for the poor enlisted rubes to gawk at, as one does with Air Force One without a president in it. (Mediaite)

Margaret Killjoy wrote this short story a decade ago about driverless cars driving you to jail. It’s not fiction anymore ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ (Vice)

AI is useless and can go screw and nobody better bail it out either, it is NOT too big to fail. (Where’s Your Ed At) Christ, no, don’t let Meta let all its users AI-up all your Instagram photos! Go opt out right now! (Wired) Burying this one about Elon Musk’s Grok letting men AI-sex-up their young-child stepdaughters, and then not cooperating with law enforcement. (Ars Technica) Here’s a much better one to end this graf on, hero Maine librarians teaching residents how to get that AI garbage off their phones! (Bangor Daily News)

The elderly among us will remember Mystery, who showed dudes how to get laid by insulting women. He has a robot girlfriend now! Congratulations Mystery, you’re doing awesome sweetie. (Wired)

Parties upcoming! MISSOULA (July 25), CLEVELAND (Aug. 8) AND PITTSBURGH (Aug. 9), and SONOMA/SF (Nov. 30)! Atlanta has been postponed. TIME TO PARTY!

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Good morning good morning, okay so it’s less “BREAKING” than yestertoday’s morning tabs were, that was too much news! WHEW.

Oh did I say less breaking? Well that’s before I had to reopen this draft and add this gross Graham Platner thing, in which he attempts to be cool like Julian Assange (take off his condom without permission during sex, aka “sex by surprise”). I will say it’s the first time I ever agreed with Sarah Isgur though! (Gift link Washington Post)

Rebecca Solnit is pretty fucking disgusted with the Platner lovers rhapsodizing over him because he has a dick. (Meditations in an Emergency)

I think G. Elliott Morris’s new baby (mazel tov!) is keeping him from sleeping enough, because I think he thinks he explained the math here and yet I do not think he explained the math here. You are nerds, maybe you will understand it better! The math, explained or un-, on why Graham Platner was a bad candidate running behind the fundamentals in Maine. (G. Elliott Morris)

Is it bad that Trump did 327 stock trades the day before he “liberated” us with his tariffs? Is it all fine? (NBC News)

Which Wonkette writer didn’t write this hed? All Wonkette writers? You’re all fired. Different Corrupt Judicial Body Than Usual Grants Emergency Petition From Donald Trump. (Madiba Dennie at Balls and Strikes)

Trump’s disgusting gold and SO MANY JEWELS ring, gifted to him by Belgium before the Recent Unpleasantness. What the fuck are we all doing here, none of this shit is legal. (PBS)

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DHS and ICE just going around to people’s houses and threatening them for the crime of “criticized ICE and/or Todd Lyons,” which you will be shocked to learn is not actually a crime. Yet. (Gift link Washington Post) Oh and here’s one! A threat investigation over a post card to a Florida official that read “you lack values.” (Reason)

Three and a half years after the original injunction, the Eleventh Circuit bars Florida from enforcing DeSantis’s Stop WOKE Act, content-based speech prohibitions that are so facially unconstitutional, the evens, I can’t. Also, how did that take two goddamn years from the time of arguments? Come the fuck on, judges. We do not in fact have all the time in the world. (Ruling)

It’s a good thing the Roberts Court legalized bribing public officials, as well as being a public official accepting bribes, because donors are giving Florida AG James Uthmeier $25k a pop and then he is intervening in their civil suits! Wow! (Gift link Miami Herald)

This AirBnb cofounder is blaming immigrants for housing prices, which is rich, and also spouting a lot of white nationalist grossness, which is expected. Also he’s Trump’s new designer. (I did not know there was a national design chief. You also did not know there was a national design chief. We learn something every day.) The world is fun! (Don Moynihan)

Trump v. algae plus also Trump v. public information on how to deal with brutal heatwaves. (Public Notice)

What if Republicans and Tucker Carlson told the truth about what they want? It would sound a little something like this! (Bad Faith Times)

Even before Trump took away the congressionally funded America250 so he could throw the money at his friends instead, the congressionally funded America250 was some BANANAPANTS. Here’s their Jesus History comic books! (Talking Points Memo)

Mama loves a longshot. Settle in with this nice profile of Doug Jones, a good, decent fella who may even win this Alabama governor’s race without his opponent being a gross creep who kept trying to fuck all the teenage ladies at the mall! (Gift link The Atlantic)

Our beloved state Sen. Mallory McMorrow, whom we were supporting, has suspended her campaign for US Senate from Michigan. You know what that means? Time for Dapper Dr. Abdul!

@abdulelsayedTo Senator McMorrow, her family, her staff, and her supporters: thank you for the work you did for democracy. The same party insiders she had the courage to challenge have been bullying anyone who opposes their chosen candidate. I welcome her supporters to our movement to stand up against money in politics, to put money back in pockets, and pass Medicare for All. We cannot allow the establishment to decide our nominee for us.

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Donate em if you got em! (Act Blue)

Oh my gosh, I forgot to show you our Metro Detroit Wonkmeet from last weekend (two weekends ago?)! It was organized by NOT EVEN ME, but rather by your comrades Kay Ducky and Up Here in the Clouds (she made mystery novel party go-bags :D ) and featured a rogues gallery of friends and SEVERAL old moms! YAY MOMS! AND FRIENDS! Behold.

Parties upcoming! MISSOULA (July 25), CLEVELAND (Aug. 8) AND PITTSBURGH (Aug. 9), and SONOMA/SF (Nov. 30)! Atlanta has been postponed. TIME TO PARTY!

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Good morning good morning! Bet you thought you had today off from Wonkette, HENGHHHH? Well you don’t, jerk! You have the day ON. Now get ready for tabs! Or else!!!

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ACHTUNG BREAKING someone did a JOURNALISM and it sure wasn’t us. Your colleague R. Riddle was the recipient of what definitely looks like some Trump-related fuckery perhaps encouraging people to register their dead relatives to vote! (R. Riddle)

Perhaps you too have been wondering on what grounds Trump has requested E. Jean Carroll’s lawyers let him delay paying her judgment after the Supreme Court declined to rescue him from it. Luckily, Our Liz is here to explain: The answer is “LOL.” (Public Notice)

Trump took more than $600 million from his idiots just on his idiotic memecoin, which has lost 98 percent of its value, and two-thirds of the idiots who bought it lost money on it. Do you think they’re like “IT WAS AWESOME, DO IT AGAIN,” I bet they are. They’re fucking dumb. (The Fucking News) Oh they are not happy and do not want to do it again? Too bad, dummies. (Popular Info)

FBI Director Ka$h Patel gonna bogart EVERY FBI ANALYST to find Smoking Gun Evidence of Georgia Democrats voting. (MS Now)

Do you enjoy crying? This guy lost at the Supreme Court when he sued the Boy Scouts for kicking him out for the gay. He wrote to the now-16-year-old girl who just lost at the Supreme Court when she sued to get to play sports with her teammates for being trans. (Medium) Girl Dad as Title IX “defender” because everything is bullshit. (Bad Faith Times)

Joe Patrice would like us all to gawk at Neil Gorsuch’s birthright citizenship dissent, and he includes this graf to entice us:

Neil Gorsuch did something weird in his dissent that deserves a closer look. And it’s not just that he managed to avoid talking about Native peoples in a case where it would be one hundred percent relevant. He even asked about Indian law at oral argument, thoroughly embarrassing the Solicitor General — who confessed he’d not considered the topic that Neil Gorsuch sees whenever he closes his eyes — in the process. Frankly, it’s shocking that his dissent about the meaning of domicile didn’t take the form of a land acknowledgement.

Haha good one Joe Patrice ;) (Above the Law)

But what about Brett Kavanaugh’s dissent? Well don’t look to Lisa Needham to explain the difference between the 14th Amendment and the law Kavanaugh cites as superior to it (???) because there isn’t one. (Public Notice)

Robyn’s BEEN explaining how they’re trying to increase teen pregnancy — that’s not a joke, it’s 100 percent literally true — and now they’ve cut $67 million from teen pregnancy prevention programs and instead are telling girls to track their periods. (Abortion, Every Day)

Another damn commie about to join the US Congress, from the Denver area this time :) (If you’re worried about the quote of her questioning the purported antisemitism of a person who attacked a pro-Israel vigil, it really wasn’t a bad quote, honest.) (NPR)

Hey, are things looking good for Keisha Lance Bottoms in the GA gov race? Well that is nice!!! (Fifty Plus One)

God I wish the pope would excommunicate JD Vance. He’s too fair and reasonable for that, but man, I wish a bitch would. (AP)

I love this one. A deeply felt and written piece by Keli Dailey on Mark Twain, Jim, and Huckleberry Finn. (Adi Magazine)

What if God was this medieval nun? Ladies and gentlemen, the Guglielmites! (Daily Meditations With Matthew Fox)

Join your friend ZiggyWiggy Saturday night for our traditional 4th of July viewing of Jaws. Available for free with ads on OKRU; with subscription on Peacock and AMC+; $3.99 in the usual places.

Parties upcoming! MISSOULA (July 25), CLEVELAND (Aug. 8) AND PITTSBURGH (Aug. 9), and SONOMA/SF (Nov. 30)! Atlanta has been postponed. TIME TO PARTY!

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APOLOGY, yesterday I edited an error into Evan’s post — the very worst thing an editrix can do — but to be fair, this Factcheck story on “birth tourism” is so badly done that the answer to “how prevalent is ’birth tourism’ actually?” didn’t come until the twenty-fifth paragraph. (The answer, after 24 paragraphs talking about “could it be 20,000 a year? how about 30,000 a year?” was “47 birth tourism” births in 2025.) That’s a bad Factcheck article! Obviously, I blame them. (Factcheck)

I think these people who climbed the 200-foot spire AIYEEEEE on top of the Empire State Building might be crazy, and I love them very much. “Two people were taken into police custody Wednesday afternoon after climbing to the top of New York City’s famed Empire State Building, where they unfurled a peace banner and appeared to start making out nearly 1,500 feet above the city.” That is just a very good lede. (NBC News)

The Slaughter case and how the Supreme Court is perfectly willing to let Trump advance his corruption in every American agency … until Roberts et al. make a “pragmatic decision” (i.e. not a constitutional one) to keep the idiot from destroying the stonks. (Paul Krugman)

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That’s nice (?) that ICE let this sex-offender-against-a-child go because he has cancer? They probably should have let the US CITIZEN CHILDREN WITH CANCER go too, instead of deporting them because Stephen Miller wanted to terrorize some folks. (Gift link Star Tribune) The administration says it’s categorically FALSE that ICE is using race when it arrests priests and nuns on their way to Mass, so take that for everything it is worth. (Letters From Leo) A newspaper reporter reported on Syracuse cops and ICE and she didn’t even give ICE and the cops the benefit of all the doubts, and it is journalism and it is beautiful. (Finding Gravity)

So this definitely seems like one of those instances when “the Left” is more than annoying and is actively shitty against a person who is agreeing with them (Gaza and Israel edition), and these people should feel bad! (They will not feel bad.) This should not be read as an endorsement of “the Center” who are wrong on policy but only merely annoying instead of more than annoying. (The Play Typer Guy)

YAY CHEER YAY NEW RECORD! Of ocean temperature :( (NBC News)

You could get tens (hundreds?) of thousands of dollars from Trump’s Big Bastard Bill if you buy a vacation rental to take out of the housing supply and turn into an AirBnB! (Business Insider)

Every word of this op-ed about Trump boning Detroit’s auto industry except where the author says Trump “worked assiduously” at overturning Joe Biden’s greenie and EV stuff. Trump’s never “worked assiduously” a day in his life. (Gift link New York Times)

Still no link between autism and Tylenol, RFK Jr. you fucking idiot. (Ars Technica)

Let’s end with some fun I mean sadness: All the terrible things that happened to poor Donald Trump in June. (Paul Slansky)

Parties upcoming! MISSOULA (July 25), ATLANTA POSTPONED, CLEVELAND (Aug. 8) AND PITTSBURGH (Aug. 9), and SONOMA/SF (Nov. 30)! TIME TO PARTY!

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Honestly pretty surprised the Supreme Court declined to save their special boy from his millions and millions in damages payable to E. Jean Carroll. (Public Info) Like I know he already made $4 billion off the presidency, but he still gets mean mad! (Center for American Progress / Senate Democrats Oversight)

Okay, so the Court didn’t throw out all the citizen babies. But it did dignify this bullshit and make it a matter for debate, and they also weakened our legal protections by banning nationwide injunctions against very special old baby president. So fuck them entirely, some more. (Bad Faith Times) Damn Alito is really fucking crazy. Also Brett Kavanaugh seems quite dim. Jay Willis is not optimistic about the health of our Constitution! (Balls and Strikes)

Isn’t John Roberts embarrassed that he is being so obvious to anyone who thought about the Fed decision vs. the other government agencies decision for even one second? And why not? (Madiba Dennie at Balls and Strikes) A Children’s Treasury Understanding of the Separation of Powers. (The Fucking News)

This, positing that future Democratic presidents will also be the beneficiaries of the Supreme Court’s “unitary executive” hard-on, simply does not comport with Roberts Court history. (The Bulwark)

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From last week, Our Liz went into just what the Social Security “citizen” (not citizen) databases are and aren’t supposed to be and or do, and how the DOGE boys and Harmeet Dhillon and the postmaster general are trying to use them to disenfranchise just about everyone. Useful, you should read it. (Public Notice)

Okay.

“I don’t— know. I think it’s so— unimportant by compared to— by compared to the Save America Act. The housing bill is a bill that can get approved. They worked on it long and hard. It’s very— bipartisan. That means Democrats like it. And it’s uhhhhh— maybe— even— uhhhhh, it’s, it’s probably maybe more that way, they’re getting things that I wouldn’t necessarily agree to. Nobody knows more than housing in the history of the presidency, nobody, nobody, no— well like me, in housing. I made a lot of— I made a lot of money. I made a lot of money with housing.”

(Capitalization added) (Tiedrich)

The centrist Democrats gnashing and wailing about BUT SOCIALISM are hilarious. (Paul Waldman) And here’s this mortifying thing they signed yikes. (Promise to America)

Speaking of the scam economy, 404 Media will sell you a course on how fake it so you can sell courses, and we’re all on the private jet together! (404 Media) And speaking of those courses, I hate all the people in this article trying to live on “passive income,” but then it introduced us to a lady with cancer who can’t work full-time and she keeps falling for all their courses :( (Gift link Wall Street Journal)

Never don’t read Caity Weaver.

Inevitably, as I nose my way through dead strangers’ belongings, my mind slips to my own estate sale, the one that will spring from my death. These thoughts follow a pattern: First, I am exhilarated by the thought of what a fantastic sale that will be, and long to attend it myself.

(The Atlantic)

Parties upcoming! MISSOULA (July 25), ATLANTA (but we won’t be there, because “see Missoula,” July 25), CLEVELAND (Aug. 8) AND PITTSBURGH (Aug. 9), and SONOMA/SF (Nov. 30)! TIME TO PARTY!

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Good morning, Supreme Court went wilding. Here’s your tabs!

Justice Alito says none of the balls-out-racist shit Trump said about Haitians was racist, so he can go ahead and throw them out of the country because he’s not racist. (NBC News) Some bullshit Supreme Court decision about Hawaii and guns. (Gift link New York Times) Supreme Court says Trump can do whatever he wants on immigration, as was already obvious. (AP) Supreme Court gives Bayer (Previously Monsanto) Get Out Of Billions In Roundup Cancer Damages Free card. (AP) Oh Clarence Thomas was Monsanto’s in-house counsel? What a scamp. (EE News)

Trump’s DOJ is now going straight to Reed O’Connor, unopposed by any party, and getting decisions within hours, so everything’s wonderful. (Talking Points Memo)

This other judge says the USPS can’t refuse to deliver our mail ballots based on Trump’s illegal executive order, but she’s an Obama judge with a foreign name so I’m not sure if it counts. (Democracy Docket)

More on Liz Warren’s bipartisan housing bill that Trump just boned himself on. (Status Kuo)

Remembering when kindly grandpa Connecticut gov Ned Lamont was the wildeyed insurgent freaking out the Democratic Party squares. (Melissa Ryan)

Some nerd last week on why the sealant for the Reflecting Pool would fail. Greater living through chemistry! (Bluesky)

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The backlash to the data centers is literally everyone. (Talking Points Memo) Just arresting Oklahoma farmers now for going over their time at the city meeting to discuss the data centers nobody wants. Is that fascist? (404 Media)

ICE agents tracked down this woman for “doxxing” (not doxxing) the agent who killed Renee Good. Back in January, she said he should be arrested, and this week, they went to the polling place where she was working and said that’s a threat and demanded she take down her Instagram post. Is that fascist? (She declined!) (Syracuse)

Texas (obviously) taking out lessons on segregation and slavery and secession. Were people enslaved based on the color of their skin? Texas children will never know! (Gift link Houston Chronicle)

The Texas (obviously) Republican Party wants to outlaw trans care including hormones and NAMES for any young impressionable innocent children under the age of 26. In addition, they will make it illegal for private businesses to espouse views on sex or gender or gender identity? I don’t know what that means and presumably they don’t either, but I bet the Supreme Court upholds it whatever it is.

Legitimately, genuinely, what even the fuck. (Erin in the Morning)

Bari Weiss is about to be in charge of CNN too; here’s how her outfit made up bald lies about immigrant kids! (Radley Balko)

Happy sigh: Green roofs! One time in grad school, I had an urban design assignment to remake a neighborhood anywhere in the world. I chose one single block and put a green roof/vegetable garden on top of the Not An American Embassy in Havana. I won that assignment so hard. GREEN ROOFS :D (American Forests)

Happy Pride! Join your friend ZiggyWiggy Saturday night, 9 p.m. Eastern, for the PBS documentary Stonewall Uprising. Available for free on the Internet Archive and on Prime for $2.99.

SATURDAY, June 27, noon-2 p.m., come see us for our DETROIT METRO Wonkparty at Gator Jake’s in Sterling Heights at 16 Mile and Van Dyke. They have a patio, pool tables, and possibly Ms PacMan! I will see you there with bells on!

Parties upcoming! MISSOULA (July 25), ATLANTA (but we won’t be there, because “see Missoula,” July 25), CLEVELAND (Aug. 8) AND PITTSBURGH (Aug. 9), and SONOMA/SF (Nov. 30)! TIME TO PARTY!

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Good morning good morning, it’s time for your tabs!

Only seeing very dark estimates about the earthquake in Venezuela. I am so sorry Venezuela. What a fucking year for Venezuela. (CP24)

Rep. Dan Goldman, I know it hurts that you lost when you’re a mostly really good lib — and also that coffee shop sounds like an asshole! — but please don’t let Alan Dershowitz rub his panties on you, you’ll just get dirty and the pig likes it :/ (Mediaite)

Air Force re-mandating flu shots after Secretary Drunknstuff preened about no long forcing the manly WARFIGHTERS to get flu shots. (ABC News)

This one’s fun! Idaho Republicans, which is all of Idaho, want to get rid of property taxes and you won’t believe what they want to replace them with. Hint: They don’t know either. (Statesman)

Trump is investing $17 billion of our money into new nuclear plants for his techlord friends’ data centers. (AP) Surely unrelated from March, he’s letting his techlord friends DOGE out all the previous nuclear reactor regulations. Now I know some among you are nerds who (wrongly) think we need nuclear. But I’m guessing you didn’t mean like that. (Pro Publica)

Everyone hates data centers to the point that Utah is throwing out its top Republicans over it (gift link New York Times) but some Democrats just GOSH aren’t SURE! Frank Pallone of New Jersey wants a moratorium on them. I want more Frank Pallones of New Jerseys. (Heatmap)

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“Trump has also helped whittle down his own support in the Senate” because he is JUST TOO GOOD AT THIS. Anyway, that story is about how he was going to go to lunch with the Republican senators yestertoday to yell at John Thune to bring up the Ban Married Women From Voting Act, or else Trump will never sign the bipartisan housing bill that passed both the Senate AND the House and which has something to do with Elizabeth Warren being Pocahontas because the classics (racism) never go out of style. (AP / CBS News)

Trollin trollin trollin keep those doggies trollin.

Oh no Mitch McConnell is ailing, that’s … (People)

Sailing cargo ships! Sailing cargo ships! Use 99 percent less carbon or whatever! And only take two weeks to get across the ocean! I WANT ALL MY SCHMATTES DELIVERED BY SAILING CARGO SHIP. (Gift link Wall Street Journal)

Three hours of free electricity every day in the middle of the day for Australia, so obviously people are complaining about it. (The Conversation) Just how much this climate catastrophe is costing every household. (Bill McKibben)

Uh duh, parks make neighborhoods cooler and less polluted uh duh duh duh. (Surrey)

Uh duh, volunteering makes you feel good uh duh duh duh duh. (Reasons to Be Cheerful)

No. (Nice News)

Happy birthday to our granddaughter Tallulah, seen here shortly after birth bodyswapping with former Fox News anchor Chris Wallace.

Girl, you nine!

SATURDAY, June 27, noon-2 p.m., come see us for our DETROIT METRO Wonkparty at Gator Jake’s in Sterling Heights at 16 Mile and Van Dyke. They have a patio, pool tables, and possibly Ms PacMan! I will see you there with bells on!

Parties upcoming! MISSOULA (July 25), ATLANTA (but we won’t be there, because “see Missoula,” July 25), CLEVELAND (Aug. 8) AND PITTSBURGH (Aug. 9), and SONOMA/SF (Nov. 30)! TIME TO PARTY!

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Hello of loves. First, some personal business! If I saw you at a Wonkparty in the last two months and told you I might have lung cancer and am sad — I was not being hypochondriacal, this time, I have a honkin’ nodule! — it looks like I DON’T and now I’M NOT. So I can stop lying on my bed feeling sorry for my poor futurely motherless girls and also stop pretending I’m going to ever write a book about all the things I would have taught them in person if I hadn’t gone and fictionally DIED. What time is it? It’s time for a WONKPARTY (METRO) DETROIT!

Your friends Kay Ducky and Up Here in the Clouds have planned this one, which means I didn’t have to! Yay Kay Ducky and Clouds! I’m still buying though. SATURDAY, June 27, noon-2 p.m., at Gator Jake’s in Sterling Heights at 16 Mile and Van Dyke. They have a patio, pool tables, and possibly Ms PacMan! I will see you there with bells on!

Parties upcoming! MISSOULA (July 25), ATLANTA (but we won’t be there, because “see Missoula,” July 25), CLEVELAND (Aug. 8) AND PITTSBURGH (Aug. 9), and SONOMA/SF (Nov. 30)! TIME TO PARTY!

Now it is time when we tabs.

Hmmmm, sure seems like a lot of Republican senators Trump boned no longer want to save him from himself. In this case, we’re talking about his stupid fucking Iran war! (Gift link New York Times)

A professor Senator Edubs Warren housing bill banning private equity from buying houses PASSED the Senate? Well how dee fucking do! (AP)

I made Dok take an Algae Zera pun out of a hed yesterday (you’re welcome) but I am not the boss of the Fucking News so I could not save you from Al Gaeda. (The Fucking News) Shockingly, instead of terrorists, “doing a bad job” is why the paint is peeling, says science. (Scientific American)

I mean, yeah.

Imagine that President Trump pooped his pants, right there in the Oval Office. Then imagine that rather than simply not talking about it and moving on — it’s pretty embarrassing, after all — he sent out a series of angry late-night Truth Social posts about how not only didn’t he poop his pants but actually delivered into his pants a serving of the finest beluga caviar, and no one has ever seen pants so delicious. Then imagine that in the face of incontrovertible evidence that he did in fact poop his pants, he kept talking about the pants-pooping, moving on to spin a deranged theory claiming that a dark conspiracy of leftists had snuck into the White House and planted the poop right there in his pants.

(Paul Waldman)

All the Jews I know are sick of Netanyahu, but I don’t know any Republican Jews or Israeli Jews, so who can say really? (Mediaite)

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The world doesn’t trust us, news at 11, and they used to, which is news at 11! (Pew Research)

So many Americans wrongly believe Joe Biden overturned Roe v. Wade, when according to Susan Collins it was actually Chuck Schumer who overturned Roe v. Wade! Shakes fist CHUUUUCK. (Joe. My. God)

Joe Biden and Chuck Schumer probably also ruled this week that disabled or minority voters who are discriminated against have no “private right of action” (cannot sue for redress to fix the discrimination), probably. (NPR)

Oh here’s four things the Court ruled on that I guess we should know about even though I don’t want to. (Chris Geidner at Law Dork)

Traditional housewives mostly would like to work but can’t afford the childcare, I feel like I remember Joe Manchin fucking childcare, oh right because that’s exactly what happened. Anyway, people poor, yo. (Atlantic)

A very strange accounting of the not-ready-for-any-time “tribunal” startup this Peter Thiel freako wants to sic on journalists. (The Hollywood Reporter)

Eh, I feel like the restored Parthenon still looks like shit, I’m probably wrong though. (Yahoo!)

TWOO CWIME! From some dumb Life of the Epstein as a Young Man thing, I started wondering about Leopold and Loeb. Goodness, guess they weren’t such Supermen after all! (Wik)

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Hello friendlies of love! Wonkette is taking Juneteenth off because hell yeah we are. Enjoy some morning tabs, maybe something around noon, and then an early cocktail! Reduced posting this weekend as well! Your weekend movie? Never heard of it! But you can join your friend Ziggy Wiggy Saturday night at 9 p.m. Eastern for Grandma, free with ads on Tubi; $3.99 in the usual places.

Now here’s your damn tabs!

The unconditional surrender was ours — and this absolutely terrible deal is absolutely the best we’re going to get. Eat your shit sandwich, everybody! (Paul Waldman)

Don’t worry, there’s always time to make it worse! Iran could become Delaware.

We’re entering a 60-day negotiating period, which will probably end with Iran annexing Texas, being given the recipe to KFC chicken, and renaming the Grand Canyon “The Infidel’s Vagina”. In exchange, Iran will agree to only use their nuclear arsenal against states that didn’t vote for Trump.

(I Might Be Wrong)

Oh huh! Is this the first time we’ve seen Pete Hegseth under Trump’s Double Dutch bus?

All the other Shitpile of Failure (^TM Tiedrich) we’ve underlooked (^TM The Fucking News)

Twitter and Lara Logan, who used to be a journalist, know who put the algae in Trump’s immaculate reflecting ocean, it was Antifa and (Acting) Attorney General Todd Blanche is putting them all in JAIL!

Meanwhile, it seems the bros who wanted to gun down the UFC White House lawnfight — there seem to have been no concrete plans beyond just yapping — were rightwing militant accelerationists who want to kill him now, yikes! (Casey Steele Dale)

DC is getting a new Girl Mamdani to be its new prog-rock socialista mayorista! :D :D :D (Laura Bassett)

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Texas AG and Republican Senate nominee Ken Paxton is suing all the Democrats and Democratic fundraising platforms for fraud because he loves to lie and isn’t embarrassed when judges tear him a new asshole. (Our Liz at Public Notice)

From April, a deep dive on Joe Biden: Just How Good At The Economy Was He Goddammit We Boned Ourselves (But Not By Making Him Leave, He Was Going To Lose Even Worse). (The American Prospect)

I so can’t wait until my retirement funds (?) force me to invest in Elon Musk’s unprofitable pyramid scheme of a moneysuck! I guess Elon is still vowing that Grok is worth two-thirds of the US GDP, and we’re all going along with it! (Paul Krugman)

Two girlfriends and I sat at the same restaurant table and each summoned an Uber to go from that table to my house at the same time. Our prices were more than $20 apart for a 10ish minute ride. Consumer Reports has the Uber/Lyft wtf with these disparate pricings 411. (They’re also taking more and more of the drivers’ fees, and charging higher prices from nonwhite neigbhorhoods!) Let’s all move to Montreal and do walking and public transit instead. (CR)

Parties upcoming! DETROIT (June 27), MISSOULA (July 25), ATLANTA (but we won’t be there, because “see Missoula,” July 25), CLEVELAND (Aug. 8) AND PITTSBURGH (Aug. 9), and SONOMA/SF (Nov. 30)! TIME TO PARTY!

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Bonjour amigos, I have returned. First your tabs!

Giving up our putative goodness has made us weaker too, and that’s why we lost the stupid motherfucking Iran war. (Noah Berlatsky at Everything Is Horrible)

Is $300 billion more than $3 billion? There is simply no way to know. (The Fucking News)

Just because Lisa Needham can’t find the crime in this mission statement doesn’t mean all these indicted Minneapolitans can’t go to jail for aggravated woke.

“Direct Action Minnesota (DAMN) is a decentralized, anti-capitalist. and anti-authoritarian organization of working class people committed to defending our community against the violence committed by the state and the far right. We employ an intersectional approach of resisting oppression in all of its forms, and seek to foster a greater capacity within our group, and within the working class more generally, to meet this end.”

(Public Notice)

A “slipshod indictment” of everyone who looked at ICE wrong in Minneapolis, for the tort of bad opinions. (Chris Geidner) Looks like we’ll be probing the US Attorney who pulled that same shit in Chicago! :D (Chicago Sun-Times)

Pry his accursed name off all our shit. He can’t have it. (Brian Beutler) The stupid lawyer tricks his idiots tried to keep his name where it doesn’t belong. (Our Liz at Law and Chaos)

“If the Titanic is going down,” JD Vance wrote vis a vis the Catholic Church, “I’d rather be on board than hop on a lifeboat.” Does JD Vance know what happened to the Titanic? (Alexandra Petri at The Atlantic)

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Elon’s latest race war. (The New Republic) No it isn’t, they didn’t need his help. (The Handbasket)

If you already have a Bulwark subscription, this newest Ryan Fournier crimegrift is … completely typical for all the Trump hangers-on crimegrifters, which is all of them. (Paywalled the Bulwark)

Damn, Tim Walz’s approval in the absolute shitter. He should have fought back harder, more. (Minneapolis Star Tribune)

I gave you this tab months and months and months ago, but now that I’ve actually read it, I think we should share it again! (Gift link New York Times)

Blueberry peach brown sugar muffins? Word. (The Peach Truck)

Now it is time for Montreal field trip Wonkparty report! However did you wait this long???

First! We surprised Donna Rose on her 11th birthday on Thursday by waking her and telling her to PACK HER M-F-ING BAG, it’s LE MOMENT MONTREAL! Haha, boy she had no idea.

The next day we walked from our apartment bon in Plateau Mont Royal to Marche Jean Talon to eat crepes and huitres. Along the way, we learned how to take the metro and the bus, which were both very easy as soon as we actually tried. That night, we went on a pretty boring ghost tour, I won’t tell you which one because she was nice and nobody wants her to feel bad :(

Saturday! Time for le biodome, le insectarium, and the magnificent Aura light show at the Basilique du Notre Dame! First of all, I think it’s very important we recognize the invention of fairies. LOOK AT THOSE FUCKING FAIRIES! Then the invention of capybaras I guess.

Then Donna Rose flipped off a terrorist, and we do not have any pictures of the light show at Aura but goddamn it was cool. This was just what it looked like without light show.

On Sunday, we went vintage shopping because it was cold and none of us brought sweaters, and then you know what time it was. TIME TO HOST A DOZEN OF OUR DEAREST AND NEAREST IN MONTREAL! Pizzeria Stella was absolutely delicious shut up yes it was but also they were just so nice — as was literally every single person we met all week, and there were many, we are the people-meeting type.

And finally, on our last full day in Montreal, as per usual we walked a solid 14 or so miles, this time from our pretty apartment down to Parc Lafontaine and then Saint Louis Square and then back up via Saint Laurent and Duluth. How many bitchen things we saw! Tag yourself, I’m sexwork strike.

And another!

Parties upcoming! DETROIT (June 27), MISSOULA (July 25), ATLANTA (but we won’t be there, because “see Missoula,” July 25), CLEVELAND (Aug. 8) AND PITTSBURGH (Aug. 9), and SONOMA/SF (Nov. 30)! TIME TO PARTY!

WE LOVE YOU GOODBYE!

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Oh hello, it is Friday. (That is what the headline means, in non-English.) Here are some tabs!

If you haven’t subscribed to The Moral High Ground yet, now would be a pretty good time, as I am bless-your-hearting poor Mike Lee for actually thinking he won the “Are Mormons True Christians?” fight he just had with Pete Hegseth’s Pentagon. [The Moral High Ground]

Donald Trump has caved, apparently, on the Bill Pulte thing, and has nominated current SDNY chief Jay Clayton to be the permanent director of national intelligence. He is a wingnut and an election-denying lunatic. Surprise! [CNBC]

Don’t shit your pants, but it sure sounds like Todd Blanche was lying when he said the Trump administration was giving up plans to pay out the J6 terrorists and kid-touchers Trump pardoned on his first day back in office. [Atlantic]

Having a medical crisis? Trump officials would like you to consider the idea of being forced to get a loan from your health insurance company, to pay your health insurance company! Meanwhile in most of Europe today, whoever has a medical emergency can be pretty much 100 percent certain it won’t bankrupt them. [New York Times]

Trump announces concepts of a deal on Iran!

“It’s a strong memorandum of understanding that is a little conceptual, but it is something that is going to get done, and if it doesn’t get dome for any reason, which I can’t imagine not happening, they want to sign it as much as I do or more …

And they’re going to sign the concepts of a memorandum of a deal this weekend, maybe, but Trump can’t be there, because fight on White House lawn and birthday!

His dumbfuck war that he lost on the first day is never, ever ending.

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Larry Sabato’s Crystal Ball has moved THREE (3) Senate races toward the Democrats, and boy oh boy, they are some big moves. Mary Peltola’s race in Alaska has moved from “leans Republican” to “toss-up.” Sherrod Brown’s race from leans Republican to toss-up. And Roy Cooper in North Carolina, he’s been moved from toss-up to “leans Democratic.” [The Hill]

There is a very big effigy of Elon Musk and his big boobies in Times Square right now, ahead of SpaceX’s IPO. It says “SpaceX’s Grok makes AI child porn.” By the way, that IPO is about to make Elon Musk a trillionaire. Congratulations, billionaires, the Overton Window has moved! (No it hasn’t.) [Wired]

Maybe you need to buy a fan for the coming hot-ass months? We sure do! CNN reviewed the best ones! [CNN]

This recipe for Portuguese-inspired arroz con grelos — basically a big bowl of rice and greens — turned out absolutely lovely. Do take her advice and mix in a spoonful of crème fraîche at the end of cooking, and top it with a sunny-side-up egg. [Small Pantry Recipes]

Here is a Kimmel monologue where he makes fun of Elon Musk and much more.

Have a nice day unless you’re Elon Musk, in which case you should have the day you deserve! More stories when you get some!

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BREAKING BREAKING! Steven Cheung said something smart once, and it was HOLY SHIT YOU BETTER NOT PARDON GHISLAINE MAXWELL. Epstein Files back in the news! (Gift link New York Times)

Did I say back in the news? Did I ever! Here’s some garbage and now I’m mad.

A few minor points: A) His supporters were snarling that centrists and or progressives (he’s got a weird coalition, and everybody’s blaming everybody else) had to “Vote blue no matter who” for the primary? Voting in a Democratic primary is the definition of voting blue! But he is indeed the nominee now. B) I do think we chase off a lot of what’s supposed to be our big tent; I don’t know that Manchin, Sinema, and Fetterman would have been SO shitty if we weren’t chasing them into the bathroom and yelling at them all the time, because we really seem to get their backs up! Now we may have chased this chode straight into … whatever that is above … by being too mad about his gigantic fucking Nazi tattoo, but really it was the Uniparty being cockblocked (by him somehow apparently?) from fucking kids? LOL man. So, you know: Vote for the shithead, it’s important.

Meanwhile! The Graham Platner supporters with their slaps at “HR” are slapping at their castrating mothers and … oh, you know this old story, it’s as old as Norman Mailer. Anyway, Graham Platner won his primary so congratulations to him, this is all swell! (Katherine Alejandra Cross at Liberal Currents)

“Evidence” has never been necessary for Republicans to attempt to throw out the results of an election, and they’re not going to start now. (Status Kuo / The Bulwark) And who are the DOJ officials who will be running point on seizing the election? Our Liz has some names! (Public Notice)

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“Even Gen X-ers, the most fascist generation, are tepid in their GOP support.” It’s a Gen X Christmas miracle!!! (We are the. worst.) (Bad Faith Times)

Should we give Iran’s frozen assets to Jared Kushner? It only seems fair! (Popular Info)

Southern Poverty Law Center being VERY RUDE to Trump and his administration’s far-right crime droogs! They better watch it, somebody might decide to make an example out of … oh. (The Guardian)

The Cleveland Clinic has settled with the Trump administration and in penance for its sins will now found a clinic for “detransition.” (Erin in the Morning)

Apparently Zaid Jilani decided his body didn’t have enough assholes in it, and thus he would give “pro-life” advice to the Democrats o.O (Abortion, Every Day)

Holly Berkley Fletcher went and testified against Trump’s goddamn arch. (Fletcher)

Please stop gambling away your babies’ actual food, Jesus Christ. (Gambling Harm)

NERDS, TAKE AN IMPROV CLASS. Alan Alda wants you to, for communication’s sake, for science. (Gift link Wall Street Journal)

Everybody always wants to read an interview with Paul Rudd, because he’s a charming decent fellow! (Hollywood Reporter)

Happy 83rd birthday yesterday to my mama Donna, and happy 11th birthday today to my daughter Donna Rose! SEE YOU IN MONTREAL, SUCKERS!

Montreal, don’t forget we’re coming at you THIS SUNDAY! Kiss us on our faces June 14, 3-5 p.m., for French Canadian counterprogramming to Donald Trump’s gross birthday party! We shall dine and drink at Stella Pizzeria, 1327 Laurier Ave E, Montreal, QC H2J 3R3. Join us for YAY!

Parties upcoming! DETROIT (June 27), MISSOULA (July 25), ATLANTA (but we won’t be there, because “see Missoula,” July 25), CLEVELAND (Aug. 8) AND PITTSBURGH (Aug. 9), and SONOMA/SF (Nov. 30)! TIME TO PARTY!

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Good morning friends, get ready for TABS!!!! :D

Bari Weiss told Scott Pelley to slander Renee Good. (Gift link New York Times) Bari Weiss’s Free Press and CBS News are lying about Trump and refugees. That’s obvious, obviously, but Radley Balko worked really hard on all these receipts. (Balko) Remembering when the New York Times first brought Bari on, so she could build her tower of bullshit all the way to the sky. (The New Republic)

California Democrats obviously stealing all the elections, because California is naturally Republican, everybody knows that, especially Holy Mike! (The Fucking News)

“Oh my God. I'm back. I'm home. All the time, it was... We finally really did it. You Maniacs! You blew it up! Ah, damn you! God damn you all to hell!” (The New Republic)

ProPublica discovered yet another creative way people are shoving money into Donald Trump Junior’s pockets! This time it’s a nine-figure (that’s $100 million plus!) investment to “build” a “refinery” from some Indian dude who was being hassled by the Trump administration until he gave Don Junior so much cheese. Wild guess: They will never build that refinery with that $100 million or more. (ProPublica)

Ninety-seven (at least!) January Sixers have been charged with other, separate crimes after their pardons and whatnot. I feel like these gentlemen may be antisocial and/or crime droogs! (Lawfare)

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That is just a world class “but”:

“I’ve put a couple kids in the hospital, and they have been sick, but they recovered,” McAfee acknowledged before my visit. “But here’s the thing: I’m a pioneer. And I’m going against the grain here. I’m climbing a mountain they say you can’t climb.”

(ProPublica)

What if all these corporate persons had to ask their human shareholders for permission every time they wanted to throw “speech” at elections? (Shareholder Protection Act)

“The witch trials were good because the witches were midwife abortionists” is certainly a Charlie Kirk-flavored take! (Abortion, Every Day)

Pete Hegseth cut the list of recognized religions in the military from more than 200 to 31; then he cut the entire heading “Christian” out entirely rather than call Mormons that. Mike Lee pretended to take that as a win. (Talking Points Memo)

Oh hey we can prevent mass shootings. So we should do that! (The Trace)

Oh hey we can get the plastic out of our rivers and oceans. So … you know. (Tech Fixated)

Robyn says she would absolutely wear these shoes. More of these shoes for her I guess! :D (Neiman Marcus)

“There’s nothing historically accurate about, say, Amy Poehler playing Calypso, or Sarah Silverman playing Circe. Those roles should go to an actual sea nymph and an actual witch-goddess, respectively.” You can’t argue with that. Go ahead and try. (McSweeney’s)

Montreal, don’t forget we’re coming at you THIS SUNDAY! Kiss us on our faces June 14, 3-5 p.m., for French Canadian counterprogramming to Donald Trump’s gross birthday party! We shall dine and drink at Stella Pizzeria, 1327 Laurier Ave E, Montreal, QC H2J 3R3. Join us for YAY!

Parties upcoming! DETROIT (June 27), MISSOULA (July 25), ATLANTA (but we won’t be there, because “see Missoula,” July 25), CLEVELAND (Aug. 8) AND PITTSBURGH (Aug. 9), and SONOMA/SF (Nov. 30)! TIME TO PARTY!

Have you sent Wonkette to a friend today?

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Bookshop.org is the anti-Amazon, a certified B-corp partnering with local bookstores. Here’s our Bookshop affiliate link, when you buy books, Wonkette gets 10 percent. Hey, Wonkpal Denny Carter has a new book there, I’m gonna buy that!

This is the button for giving us all your extra money (ONLY IF IT IS EXTRA) but with Venmo.

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