One of the worst phrases in the entire known universe is "girl next door." I have always hated this phrase, as it suggests that just because I am extremely glamorous, I do not have neighbors -- which I do. I have several neighbors and no one can say I don't. It also suggests that the mere virtue of having neighbors makes one somehow extra wholesome and pure, just like Mary Ann from Gilligan's Island. Which is just plain wrong.

For instance, Gavin McInnes, who is terrible, has neighbors. And his neighbors -- unlike my neighbors, who find me delightful and whom I imagine very much enjoy my rendition of the Habenera from Carmen -- are not happy about it.

As Andy Campbell of Huffington Post reports, Gavin McInnes' neighbors in the Westchester County village of Larchmont are aware of who Gavin McInnes is, and are super embarrassed to have him in their neighborhood and don't want the world to assume that they are also heaping piles of radioactive garbage. As such, they have taken to posting "Hate Has No Home Here" signs in their yards. Good for them!

But this has made Gavin very, very sad. No one wants to talk to him, no one wants to talk to his family (even his wife, whom he would like to remind everybody, again, voted for Hillary Clinton). He feels he is being bullied! Oh no! Didn't anyone tell his neighbors that he's supposed to be the one doing the bullying, please and thank you?

Thus, he wrote them a long ass letter explaining that all the things they have read about him are lies, as are all the things he, himself, has written and done and said. He seems to think that, rather than having actually looked into his history as a professional bigot and leader of a violent Republican street gang and come to the conclusion themselves that he sucks, they have merely been brainwashed by people who hate how much he loves Donald Trump.

On the contrary! He is a good guy! And just a humorist! Because that is a thing people who are legitimately hilarious go around calling themselves all the time, rather than a thing people call themselves when they don't want to be held accountable for saying terrible things.

Here is part of the very gaslight-y letter. As you can see, dude is full of shit.

Towards the end of the incredibly monotonous screed, McInnes even manages to go full "If you're so tolerant, why won't you tolerate my intolerance!" on his neighbors -- a tactic that, shockingly enough, did not win them over.

Via Huffington Post:

What's telling about the letter is that McInnes seems to argue that displaying an anti-hate sign is an inherent attack on his family.

"If you are liberal then you are, by definition, tolerant, and if you truly eschew hate, you know that loving your neighbor ― your actual neighbor ― is where tolerance begins," he writes. "I am writing on behalf of my family to ask you to reconsider whether the message of your lawn sign moves our world and our village in the direction of love at all, or whether it sends a very different message instead."

HuffPost spoke to several Larchmont residents who cited various reasons for displaying anti-hate signs in their neighborhood, not all of them having to do with McInnes. But they all agreed on one thing: McInnes is full of it.

"If you're so tolerant, then put up a fucking sign in your yard, too, and stop being so narcissistic as to think that this is all about you," said one resident.

Another said: "He thinks liberals are stupid and will buy into his B.S. ― as a 'humorist,' he should understand that the joke is on him!"

This is some extraordinarily entitled bullshit. Nearly everyone I know and love grew up being hated by the small towns they grew up in. Weird kids, POC who grew up in mostly white areas, LGBTQ kids... pretty much everywhere for a very long time. You didn't see us writing any four page letters to our neighbors explaining to them that they were wrong to hate us. We just kept doing our own thing and waited until the promised day when we'd get to go live awesome lives and never have to deal with their bullshit again.

If any of us did, however, ever write such a letter, McInnes would be the first one calling us snowflakes and telling us we needed to toughen up and learn how to take a non-funny joke. He doesn't like it when people who are not straight white men ask to be treated with common decency, but it's a different thing entirely when he's the one on the outs.

As my favorite uncle once said in a completely unrelated situation, "everybody's gotta be somewhere!" And Gavin McInnes does, too. That, however, doesn't mean that anyone has to welcome him with open arms, speak to him or invite him to the neighborhood barbecue. If he wants to experience the warm welcome he believes he is entitled to, perhaps he should find an area filled with other people who are also terrible. Perhaps he'd be better off living in the kind of town that all the people he hates now fled as soon as they graduated. A place where people would actually like him and enjoy his company. Though that may be difficult, given that we're talking about someone who managed to get rejected by Glenn Beck of all people.

This is now your open thread! Have a lovely day!

[Huffington Post]

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