Filthy Whoremonger Scum-Sucking Diaperman David Vitter Won't Resign

Takin' a dump for America, and a hooker. - WonketteHey, David "Diaperman" Vitter is on the teevee, saying a bunch of bullshit. Will he man up and admit anything? No. He won't take questions, won't talk about his diaper problems, and won't resign. Wow. Meet the new Republicans. This is the same morality-free douchesack who demanded Clinton quit over a blowjob, which was obviously an impeachable offense.


"This would've been a private issue between husband and wife," says his would-be Mrs. Bobbitt. Uh, aren't you forgetting somebody else? You know, the hooker? Or hookers, and the madams?

"Our marriage is stronger every day," says Wendy Vitter. Ha ha, is that all it takes to make marriage work? A bunch of prostitutes? Hooray for the New Family Values.

Oh, the tragedy: The media made your children sad. Really? So they're not bothered by their father screwing hookers everywhere when he's supposed to be, you know, working at the Capitol? And they're surely not at all sad because their pervert dad pays prostitutes to make him wear adult diapers.

And the reporters camped out at your church and your home? That's a tragedy, too. Do you know why they're out there, Mrs. Vitter? Because your husband's a weird creep and an Elected Official who just happens to represent the "social conservatives." There's somebody else camped out at your church and your house, Mrs. Vitter: IT'S THE DEVIL, AND HE'S COMING TO TAKE YOUR HUSBAND HOME. The Devil has plans for David Vitter, do not doubt it! The diapers in hell are made out of chainsaws, swimming-pool acid and broken coke bottles, and the hookers are actually flesh-eating giant badgers.

"Let us continue our summer and our lives ...." Jesus motherfucking christ, how about we move on with putting Vitter in prison (it's still illegal to hire hookers in D.C. and Louisiana) and calling a special election to fill his Senate seat with somebody who doesn't need diapers?

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