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Fine, Go Ahead And Crucify Bill O'Reilly. Not That He's Comparing Himself To Jesus. He's Just Saying!

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Bill O'Reilly sat down withWaPo Witchay Woman Sally Quinn to discuss Bill O'Reilly as the avatar of Christian meekness and humility. Among other insights, he explained that he's just a regular guy who believes in God and Jesus very conventionally, and he gives back to God by going to church once a week and listening to boring priests who don't know what they're talking about. Asked for theological details, like whether he believes Jesus was sent by God, O'Reilly cut Quinn off and said "I believe the whole narrative. I’m going to accept it, because there’s no reason not to." But he's really cheesed off at "the secular-progressive movement," which he says


simply cannot accept any people of faith and take them seriously. They’re so condescending and they’re so arrogant that, even though you might be a brilliant person, if you believe, you’re an idiot. So that just knocks out the whole Jesuit organization. It knocks out Thomas Aquinas, Augustine. Everybody is knocked out because they believe.

It's so true -- frankly, we've lost track of the number of times we've mocked Thomas Aquinas here on Yr. Wonkette. And don't even get us started on Teilhard de Chardin -- oh, the buttsechs jokes we have made about that guy!!

Quinn asked O'Reilly why he thinks there's "so much sneering and ridicule toward religion by people who don’t believe." Billo has a simple, straightforward explanation to this not-at-all loaded question:

Because they don’t want to be judged. They believe that religious people are judging their behavior, and they don’t want to be judged. They want to do what they want.

Take a guy like Bill Maher. He’s probably the most visible atheist in the American media. Well, Bill Maher does not want to be told what to do. He wants to do whatever he wants. And if it’s take drugs, he wants to be able to do that. If it’s commit adultery, he wants to be able to do that. Whatever it may be, he doesn’t want anybody telling him not to. And the people that would do that would be religious people, so he strikes out against them.

At the risk of veering into seriousness here, pls allow Yr Wonkette to suggest that the issue isn't that nonreligious folks "don't want to be judged," but rather that we aren't especially impressed by the qualifications of the Bill O'Reillys to be judges -- or to set public policy based on their judgment. How'd the Moon get there, huh? Smartguy? Huh? You can't explain it! If followers of Christ would maybe work a little more on being Christlike and less like Pharisees, we probably would be really cool with them feeding the hungry and stuff. Because your Bill O'Reilly types seem a lot more fond of Leviticus than the Sermon on the Mount.

But let's not lose track of what matters, which is that, just like poor John Lennon in that one ballad, they're gonna crucify Bill O'Reilly. Quinn asks about the dedication in Billo's Jesus book, which sums up Bill O'Reilly's philosophy, apparently:

You dedicated your book to those who love their neighbors as themselves. I thought a lot of the O’Reilly haters would be surprised to see that dedication.

They’ll never read it, though. The O’Reilly haters are pretty much the people that have no idea what I do. And I like that -- I mean, I don’t have any problem with people disliking me, and I’ll tell you why. I’m not comparing myself, but who was the most hated person in Judea 2,000 years ago?

Many, many loved him, but just as many despised him. They’re always going to do that. If you speak your mind, you’re going to have some who like you and some who hate you.

Actually, Bill, you should've just gone with "I like that." If somebody isn't persecuting Bill O'Reilly, then how does Bill O'Reilly know he's doing God's work, right?

[WaPo via Mediaite]

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Image: Marriott Hotels

Great GOP wordsmith Frank Luntz, the guy who gave us the "death tax" and who urged the George W. Bush administration to talk about "climate change" since it was less politically motivating than "global warming," did some more of his characteristic word magic today! While staying at the Hotel Imperial in Vienna, Austria, Luntz offered this cautionary tale about the evils of socialism, as illustrated by the shoddy conditions in a 5-star luxury hotel owned by Dubai's "Al Habtoor" conglomerate and operated by Marriott:

Talk about your grim hellholes! Apparently, there's only one elevator in the entire building, and it's been broken for three days, proving that European-style socialism is a failure that should never be imported to the USA, where -- damn it! -- all buildings work!

As some smartass pointed out, now Luntz may have to take the STAIRS, like a common Bolshevik!

We're still trying to get our heads around how a delay in getting an elevator fixed in a luxury hotel owned by the United Arab Emirati proprietors of Dubai's

  • Habtoor Grand Resort
  • Waldorf Astoria Dubai Palm Jumeirah
  • Habtoor Palace, LXR Hotels & Resorts
  • V Hotel, Curio Collection by Hilton
  • Hilton Dubai Al Habtoor City
  • Metropolitan Hotel Dubai
  • Al Habtoor Polo Resort

as well as

  • Imperial Hotel, a Luxury Collection Hotel, Vienna (Austria)
  • Hilton London Wembley (United Kingdom)
  • Hilton Beirut Habtoor Grand (Lebanon)
  • Hilton Beirut Metropolitan Palace (Lebanon)
  • President Abraham Lincoln Springfield – a DoubleTree by Hilton Hotel (United States)
  • InterContinental Budapest (Hungary)
  • The Ritz-Carlton, Budapest (Hungary)

is an example of the horrors of socialism, but then, we don't earn the big bucks like Luntz does. Austria is among the 14 richest countries in the world, so we're fairly certain it's not a commie hellhole. Then again, there is a very strong social safety net, so maybe people in subsidized housing stole all the elevator parts. Or perhaps the elevator would have been fixed sooner if only Austria didn't have such strong unions. It's a mystery.

Or maybe it's that NATIONAL socialism that's the problem, seeing as it has socialism RIGHT IN THE NAME!

Adolf Hitler, once a day labourer outside the Hotel Imperial Vienna, returned as the Führer and "delivered a speech to a rapturous crowd from [the hotel] suite's balcony, on 14 March 1938", according to www.famoushotels.org.

We suppose it's worth noting that the Imperial is decidedly not owned or operated by the Austrian government, where a far-Right coalition has recently imploded -- although maybe Luntz is confused about that, since official state guests are traditionally housed there. In any case, the elevator's busted, it's in Europe, Europe is socialist, and Frank Luntz is homesick for America, where no elevator ever goes unrepaired for an entire weekend. It simply has never happened because of our efficient free market!

Still, Luntz's tweet inspired some valuable reflections on how economic theory shapes the reality of everyday life. This is the kind of Austrian economics we can support.



In conclusion, capitalism always allocates resources efficiently and fairly, although that still doesn't explain why Frank Luntz has a job. And now it would be your DOKTOR ZOOM'S BIRTHDAY PARTY OPEN THREAD, if only the socialists would fix the elevator, the end.

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