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Fired Wingnut Komen Lady Karen Handel Challenges Planned Parenthood To Bitch-Slap Contest

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Oh, early 2012, we already miss you. At least in February 2012, we were well rid of Karen Handel, the then-vice president of Susan G. Komen for the Cure. Remember Karen? She's the delightfully (?!) wingnutty anti-choice zealot that came up with the unbelievably genius plan to strip Planned Parenthood of monies for breast cancer screening, which is kind of an odd thing for an organization dedicated to preventing breast cancer! But you never know! You could go in for a mammogram but come out with an abortion. HAPPENS ALL THE TIME PEOPLE. Now? She is talkin' some big talk about whoopin' Planned Parenthood director Cecile Richards' ass, because "ladylike."


"Planned Parenthood counted on conservative elected officials to be quiet, and they were silent," [Handel] said. "But they didn't count on me. Cecile Richards has absolutely no idea who she's picked a fight with, folks."

Oooh, big words from the woman who picked a fight with Planned Parenthood and lost her big fancy job over it. Back then, after the press and every organization under the sun beat Komen about the head for two days, they reversed course and decided that maybe it would be neat to help the poors get breast cancer screening. After the abortionplex forced the noble Komen to buckle, Handel semi-voluntarily left, whining about the great injustice perpetrated upon her all the way.

Karen Handel, the former executive at Susan G. Komen for the Cure who instigated the breast cancer charity's plan to pull grants from Planned Parenthood, delivered a lecture to the conservative Family Research Council on Thursday that sounded more like a battle cry...

Handel, who is rumored to be considering a run for U.S. Senate in Georgia, has not dropped her fight against Planned Parenthood since a strong public backlash from Planned Parenthood supporters forced her to resign from Komen in February. She wrote a book about the incident, Planned Bullyhood, in which she calls Planned Parenthood "a bunch of schoolyard thugs," and on Thursday, she set out to further smear the family planning provider.

First of all, "Planned Bullyhood." This woman is obviously a literary genius.

Second, yes, Planned Parenthood was indeed a nefarious bully to Karen Handel! Horror of horrors, they actually used Komen's dumbass move to fundraise like crazy and apply some pressure to Komen. Smells like freedom and capitalism to us! Plus, Planned Parenthood did us all a solid by getting rid of someone who gives speeches that sound like this:

"I know sometimes I'm not on the same page as folks about this, but I ask the question, who's the real enemy?" Handel said. "Is the enemy that individual who agrees with us 99 percent of the time? I think too often in the pro-life movement, we stake out the ground of purity at the expense of really being about to advance the cause. We need to think about these fiscal hardliners. They might not care about the pro-life issue, but they care about dollars and cents ... and I want them on our side, folks. We can come after their hearts and their souls tomorrow, but today I want them on our side."

OK, truth time. Yr Wonkette has read this part approximately 100 times. Are we drunk? Probably! It could be the fact that we don't have Red Bull in the house because SOMEONE bought some uncaffeinated nature soda instead, but the whole damn thing MAKES NO SENSE AT ALL. Is there some antiabortion nutjob-to-English dictionary we could borrow? We think it might be her new genius plan to get people that only care about fiscal issues to care about abortion, which they will do because they care about fiscal issues! This logic is TIGHT.

Also, she thinks Planned Parenthood stole the color pink.

"They literally co-opted the color pink, and for most people the color pink is associated with the fight against breast cancer. Their website, everything they did was pink, pink, pink, wrapping themselves in what I like to call a cloak of legitimacy."

Yup, watch your back Cecile Richards! You know you're gonna need a lot of street-fightin' savvy to "pick a fight" with someone who thinks she owns pink.

[HuffPo]

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Lace up your sneakers, Wonkers! Time to hit the streets. MoveOn, the ACLU, MomsRising and all your favorite dirty leftists are getting together for a yuuuuuuuuge march to show that WE ARE A NATION OF DECENT FUCKING HUMAN BEINGS WHO DON'T KIDNAP BABIES. And your Wonkette will be there!

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Rudy Giuliani, flapping his loose yap to Politico on Monday:

President Donald Trump's attorney Rudy Giuliani said on Monday that he was actually just bluffing last week when he called for Justice Department leaders to suspend special counsel Robert Mueller's investigation within 24 hours.

"I didn't think it would," Giuliani told POLITICO with a laugh when asked about the Mueller inquiry's still being very much an active investigation. "But I still think it should be." [...]

That's what I'm supposed to do," Giuliani explained on Monday. "What am I supposed to say? That they should investigate him forever? Sorry, I'm not a sucker."

Cool, that is just Rudy Giuliani admitting he's full of shit and words and more shit and more words (and also a noun, a verb and 9/11). We are guessing therefore that Giuliani, who is a lawyer, would legally advise us to continue assuming we should take his every oral ejaculation with a gi-normous grain of FULL OF SHIT.

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