Holy Crap!: Magic Florida Baby Sends Beautiful Sign From Jesus, From His Butt
If there is one thing we know about Jesus it is that he sure loves sending symbols of himself on pieces of toast, marmite lids, floorboards and other unusual places for no apparent reason. That and his songs are not as good as Judas's songs, but that is mainly the fault of Andrew Lloyd Weber and Tim Rice.
This latest appearance isn't so much the face of Jesus, as it is a cross. A cross made of poop, that appeared in a diaper of a baby in Florida, discovered by one Katy Vasquez. Vasquez announced the holy miracle on her Facebook page:
Sometimes in our busy, crazy, hectic lives, we forget how wonderful our God is. Today I feel as though he sent me a sign. Saying everything will be okay. I’m right here by your side.
This sign came in the oddest form. My babies poop. I went to change his diaper, and he pooped a cross. It might not be the prettiest sign, but he put it where he knew I’d see it. In my babies diaper. Lol. Hard to miss what’s right there in front of you.
If you can, or want to, feel free to share the message. That God is with us. And he gives us signs to let us know that things will be OK. It’s not always the prettiest sign, but he puts it where he knows we’ll see it. We’re good most of the time, but God is good all the time.
We are one in love yes. Amen.
In the name of the Father, the Son, and if the Holy Ghost.
I believe all things are possible with God.
WHAT DOES IT ALL MEAN? Is this babby the second coming of Jesus? Perhaps! Either that or First-Coming Jesus was sitting up in heaven going "Oh man, it looks like Katy has had a rough week, I will make her babby poop a cross so she knows I love her. Then I will decide whom I would like to die of some terrible disease. My, what a productive day!"
Is this a normal thing that happens in diapers? I don't know, I have never had a baby and haven't really changed any diapers since my high school babysitting days, so I don't know what's normal! However, Rebecca, Evan and Dok assure me that this is NOT a good way for a baby to be pooping. "It is not normal, and that baby should see a doctor," Rebecca says, "Buttholes should be round." I will take her word for this as she is the Editrix and also a baby-haver.
What I would like to know though, is what she plans to do with this sacred piece of religious iconography. Bronzing it like a pair of baby shoes would probably not work, since you would not be able to see the cross. Lucite would be an option, maybe, as it would preserve the miracle and also keep the flies at a minimum.
[h/t Christian Nightmares]
Robyn Pennacchia is a brilliant, fabulously talented and visually stunning angel of a human being, who shrugged off what she is pretty sure would have been a Tony Award-winning career in musical theater in order to write about stuff on the internet. Previously, she was a Senior Staff Writer at Death & Taxes, and Assistant Editor at The Frisky (RIP). Currently, she writes for Wonkette, Friendly Atheist, Quartz and other sites. Follow her on Twitter at @RobynElyse