Florida Gov. Rick Scott Does Douchebag Thing, Because He Is Douchebag


[contextly_sidebar id="Qs9joVIexosLxekHqYW7vFpKAGWegXWw"]Hip-hooray and WE TOLD YOU SO. We reported last week on the hottest new trend in ladyparts healthcare, which is getting your vaginal business district checked out at mobile eye care or mobile dental units. It's efficient! Unless you're a weirdo who prefers to get her pap smeared by a gynecologist rather than at the Salvation Army. Wait, why are you lucky Florida ladies getting your reproductive healthcare at food pantries and elementary schools instead of at a doctor's? Because the Florida legislature passed a bill that defunds Planned Parenthood and any other reproductive health providers that provide abortion services, and evil fuckbiscuit Gov. Rick Scott signed it, just like we said he would:

Florida Governor Rick Scott on Friday signed a law that cuts off state funding for preventive health services to clinics providing abortion and imposes abortion restrictions already being tested before the U.S. Supreme Court.

Florida is among many states adopting new abortion laws as conservatives seek to chip away at the U.S. Supreme Court's landmark 1973 Roe v. Wade decision legalizing abortion.

As Reuters helpfully points out, it was already against the law for the state to directly fund abortions. This just augments that by "block[ing] money for services for low-income women at the clinics." Hooray for small government! Grrrrrrrr.

[contextly_sidebar id="UpXGUHCSV86ad20pDKNigVsvKoa4Coin"]But this is par for the course for Rick Scott, who, again, is a raging dickwhistle and also a terrible human being. And he REALLY doesn't like it when poor people have access to quality healthcare, if he's not getting his own beak wet. Remember how he's been so fervently opposed to expanding Medicaid under Obamacare? And how he was pretty OK with poor people dying because of that, because that's just the price of freedom, obviously?

[contextly_sidebar id="iNnEjSeQQLPRriuS8zMTi1bZDsSas7Gb"]But it was OK, because he turned right around and sued the government for some sweet cash to fund the state's Low Income Pool (LIP). THAT program is less effective and more expensive than the Medicaid expansion, but at least it doesn't have that stinky "Obamacare" word on it, therefore it is better, we guess.

The point is that Rick Scott is an asshole. Did we mention how Rick Scott is an asshole? Rick Scott is an asshole.

So anyway, Florida lady poors, time to get excited about your upcoming vag doctor visits at the mobile eye care and dental units. As long as your vag has 20/20 vision and no cavities, you'll probably get a coupon for a free Frosty or something, won't that be fun?


Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

Follow him on Twitter RIGHT HERE.


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