Donate


Florida Governor and Lizard Person Rick Scott got an earful from a mad woman at Starbuck's this week, and he unliked that enough to take out an ad calling her an anarchist who doesn't salute the flag and is a no-job loser.

Florida Governor and Lizard Person Rick Scott, apparently, is taking his cues on engaging in a civil society from Donald Trump. At least he didn't call her a fat uggo, we guess.

After the narrator chuckles about what a terrible un-American that mad lady was, he voiceovers about "taking a look at the substance" of her unhinged ranting. It turns out Rick Scott has created a whole bunch of jobs! THANKS OBAMA!

One bit of the "substance" the narrator leaves by the wayside came when Rick Scott whined about the encounter in a speech in Boca Raton:

I’ve said all along that if the federal government wants to have its program, they should fund their program,” Scott said Wednesday. “But don’t come to the state of Florida and ask us to tax our taxpayers for a federal program. I don’t believe in that. I don’t go to the federal government and say ‘fund my program.'”

Well, except for when his company went to the federal government and said "fund my program" and then accidentally frauded Medicare so bad they had to pay a fine of ONE POINT SEVEN BILLION DOLLARS WITH A B. ("Bollars.")

Other than that, though, Rick Scott doesn't ask the government to fund his program. Probably because his program literally signed up 30 people.

[Orlando Sentinel]

Rebecca Schoenkopf

Rebecca Schoenkopf is the owner, publisher, and editrix of Wonkette. She is a nice lady, SHUT UP YUH HUH. She is very tired with this fucking nonsense all of the time, and it would be terrific if you sent money to keep this bitch afloat. She is on maternity leave until 2033.

$
Donate with CC

Hooray, it's time for yet another dispatch from Fox News's big fun week of failure. (No, we mean even more failure than usual.) While all of Twitter is being annoying and talking incessantly about nothing but Bran and Daenerys and Carl and Peg or whoever they are, we have been (ignoring it and) focusing on all Fox's sadness, starting with Pete Buttigieg's town hall, where he called Fox News a piece of shit to its face. Then we laughed and laughed at Fox News idiot Pete Hegseth, who is sending lots of begging to today's college graduates, that they might immediately get dropped on their heads and forget all their education, so they might grow up to be the Fox News viewers of the future.

Oh, and we haven't even had a chance to LOL at the epic hilarity of Steve Doocy trying to do man-on-the-street interviews in Midtown Manhattan, shoving the mic into the faces of New Yorkers who literally don't care if he goes and plays in traffic. That was fun!

But the point of this post is that we have finally learned what makes at least some Fox News viewers tick, and it is that Tucker Carlson "laughs like a girl." That is not us saying that, that is a Fox News fan lady telling the Washington Post's Erik Wemple why she loves Tucker Carlson so much.

Keep reading... Show less
$
Donate with CC

Old White Guys Try To Explain Abortion

Throwing the baby out with the bathwater. It's your Sunday show rundown!

popular

Michael is out, so I'm taking over your Sunday Show Rundown. This week everyone was talking about those awful abortion laws worming their way through state legislatures. As usual, most of the men were tripping on their dicks while trying to talk about vag. Luckily, there's enough women around to ladysplain things.

Bernie Sanders went on Meet the Press for the first time in FOREVER and played his greatest hits for all the kids. Sanders criticized Joe Biden's environmental policy (which is literally just "beat Trump"), stating that it wasn't "good enough." Sanders is right! (NO FIGHTING.)

SANDERS: Beating Trump is not good enough. You have to beat the fossil fuel industry, you have to take on all the forces of the status quo who do not want to move this country to energy efficiency and sustainable energy.

But then Chuck Todd asked Bernie a loaded question about women getting "sex-selective" abortions and the whole interview went off the rails. Bernie struggled to answer the dumbass question and came across looking stupid despite having spent the better part of the last week in Alabama railing against abortion bans.

Keep reading... Show less
$
Donate with CC
Donate

How often would you like to donate?

Select an amount (USD)

Newsletter

©2018 by Commie Girl Industries, Inc