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Florida Governor Desperately Wants To Be Scott Walker, Fails Miserably

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  • Republican governors are deeply envious of union-bustin' blowhard Scott Walker and all of his delicious campaign Koch-tributions. Especially Florida governor Rick Scott! Sometimes Rick Scott fantasizes about skinning Scott Walker and then making a body suit out of the skin, so that he can have something nice to wear for important occasions (like the Royal Wedding)! That's how badly Rick Scott wants to be Scott Walker. And Rick Scott has tried -- and repeatedly failed -- to emulate all of Walker's union-busting victories: He recently threatened to veto the budget if it didn’t include $2.4 billion in cuts to corporate income taxes and fees. (His malicious threats didn't end up working, though!) And now there's this: Rick Scott was unable to pass a bill that would have banned public employee unions from "using automatic payroll deduction to collect dues." These are not the kinds of results that the Kochs are looking for. Poor Rick Scott. [Miami Herald via McClatchy]
  • Good news from the Supreme Court: "In a 5-4 ideological split, the high court's conservatives said businesses can block their customers from using class actions. The court said the federal arbitration law trumps state laws that invalidate contracts banning class actions." Yay! [AP]


  • Military doctors intentionally concealed (or just straight-up ignored) evidence that Gitmo detainees were being routinely tortured, according to a study that nobody will ever read. [The Independent]

  • At least one inbred prince is getting married today. Most inbred princes are not getting married today, though. Fini.

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I wasn't ready for Koko the gorilla to die. She was just 46, so still young well past the upper age limit for a gorilla, but I'll miss her. She loved cats, told mildly amusing jokes, and put up with people, so she was a lot like your weird aunt.

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Donald Trump held one of his televised cabinet meetings today in which he railed about the terrible Democrats who forced the current border crisis (at a time when illegal border crossings are actually lower than usual). In what's sure to be his favorite phrase on Twitter for the next few days, Trump blamed "extremist open-border Democrats" for all the problems he brought on himself with his family separation policy, and explained that Democrats were simultaneously hurting illegal immigrants AND the rest of America by forcing Normal America to accept Central Americans who fled to the US. It made loads of sense! And then things got ... less so.

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