Jerri Collins is a judge in Seminole County, Florida. She was appointed by Jeb Bush, and she is literally the biggest asshole judge we have ever laid eyes upon, at least since this other asshole judge who threw three kids in juvie for not wanting to have lunch with their dad. So here's what's going on in the video you see above: A domestic violence victim is in Collins's courtroom to answer contempt charges, for failing to appear in court. She doesn't really explain, through her audible tears, EXACTLY why she failed to show up for that appearance, but she quite adequately gets across the message that she's been depressed and suffering from anxiety; she's lost her home and all her possessions; she's living with her parents; and all because of this one asshole who happens to be her child's father, who is accused of choking her and pulling a knife on her.


Judge Collins doesn't want to hear the sob story, because she is obviously a heartless monster and a bad person who shouldn't be trusted to pick the corn out of her own shit, much less make decisions about people's lives. We don't often throw full transcripts at you, but when we do, it's because the subject of a story will See You Next Tuesday SO MUCH that it deserves to be read in its full, disgusting glory. Remember, the victim is in tears THE WHOLE TIME:

VICTIM: Your honor, I'm very sorry for not attending. I've been dealing with depression and a lot personally since this happened. And my anxiety is like ... this is every day for me ... We were trying to separate and things were ...

JUDGE ASSHOLE: Why didn't you show up to court?

V: My anxiety ...

JA: You think you're gonna have anxiety now? You haven't even seen anxiety. We had a jury, six people there ready to try [the defendant], you has a prior criminal history of domestic violence. YOU were required to be here by a court order. YOU disobeyed a court order, knowing that this was not going to turn out well for the state. ... Is it true, what you told the police? Is it true? Those statements you told to the police on the day of the police, was it true? The incident that happened on April 2, was it true?

V: Yes

JA: Then why wouldn't you come to testify?

V: I went to the domestic abuse class, I asked them to drop everything, I just, I'm trying to move on with my life.


Because maybe her life experience is more complicated than whatever pearly-white existence Judge Dickbrain is used to, and maybe she's decided it's more important for her just to get about the business of moving on with her life for her sake, and for her child's sake. We don't know, and neither does smegma-faced skidmark Judge Collins.

Moving on, victim's tears growing more intense:

V: Because it's not just domestic, this has been for years. And I'm, I'm just, I tried to move on a couple months ago, and it's just like, I don't know. I moved out, I've tried to move on with my life. I tried to file for child support last June, and it took them an entire year to find him, I don't understand why, and May 1, I was supposed to be getting my child support so I could go get an apartment and go get a job, and everything. And when he went to jail for two weeks, he lost his job, he lost everything, and I'm like homeless now. I'm living at my parents' house. Everything my husband shut off. I had to sell everything I own. I'm just not in a good place right now.

JA: And violating your court order did not do anything for you. I find you in contempt of court. I hereby sentence you to three days in the county jail.

Wow. What a horrible human being. To be fair, maybe Judge Asshole just woke up on the wrong side of the waterbed she sleeps on with the other demons in hell, and had a case of the Mondays.

Jeanne Gold, the CEO of SafeHouse, an organization that helps people like the victim in question, said this scum-sucking wildebeest judge, who is not sorry, may have done lasting damage:

"She'll never call again. Look what happened to her. She could be lying, broken in a ditch somewhere, and she would probably not call police because of what happened to her in this place," Gold said.

On that note, here are some places all living things should hope and pray they never encounter Judge Collins:

  • Lying, broken in a ditch. Collins would probably order a bulldozer to fill the ditch with fresh topsoil.
  • If you are a puppy who got out of your yard by accident, running down the street. Asshole just might swerve up on the sidewalk to get a clean hit.
  • If you're an old lady crossing the street. Same reason.
  • If you're on fire. She's had to piss for hours, but she just can't be bothered.
  • If there's only one bubbly potato chip left. Don't know why, but we're going to guess she'd jail a motherfucker to get her grubby paws on it.
  • Any holiday, funeral of a loved one, wedding, etc. Name an occasion involving emotions and she'd probably muck it all up.
  • Sick in the hospital. You probably deserved to get sick anyway.

Christ, what an asshole.

[ via Balloon Juice / RawStory]

Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

Follow him on Twitter RIGHT HERE.


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