Florida Lawmaker Wants To Make School Even Worse By Forcing Students To Watch A Dinesh D'Souza Movie


Felonious Bollywood reject Dinesh D’Souza might be on his way to the pokey (ohpleaseohpleaseohplease), but a Florida Republican has come up with a nifty way to ensure that his state’s schoolchildren will remember the great director’s name forever: He is introducing a bill that makes Dinesh’s film America required viewing in all 1,700 of Florida’s middle and high schools.

State Sen. Alan Hays, who in no way looks like an actor playing an uptight town father in any of the Porky’s movies, went on some wingnut radio show Wednesday to patriotsplain his thinking.

It is important for our students to learn how to think instead of what to think, and otherwise, what they’re teaching in school becomes nothing but a bunch of dogma.

No better way to counter all the poopy liberal dogma the schools are indoctrinating The Children with than by pushing some conservative tripe about why the blacks and the Native Americans should be grateful – GRATEFUL, WE TELL YOU – that the white folks conquered the North American continent and built the great U.S.A. on the backs of their labor. The D’Souza viewpoint isn’t dogma itself because, um, shut up is why.

Besides, said Hays, so many Americans died for the freedom we all enjoy today, and it would be a real shame if we didn’t catapult that freedom forward so it could be appreciated by The Children. Even the black and Native ones.

It's our obligation to keep that freedom going, and this movie can play a very important role in that. Otherwise, we will continue to see the fabric of our nation just eroded and eroded further and further away. And that needs to be stopped.

We’d sure hate for the fabric of our nation to get eroded further away. That shit cost us, like, $10 a yard at the Yarn Barn.

What an honor for this great film. Even if Mumbai’s answer to Leni Riefenstahl takes a shank between the ribs while serving his hard time, his cinematic masterpiece could still take its place alongside classics like Wheels of Tragedy and Masturbatory Story in the pantheon of films forced through the eyeballs of generations of pliable youngsters who didn’t have the foresight to play hooky that day.

No word on whether Florida’s students will be required to hiss and throw sharp objects whenever Saul Alinsky appears onscreen.

[Right Wing Watch]

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Ever since Ruth Bader Ginsburg successfully underwent surgery for lung cancer, conservative sites and message boards have been trafficking in a ridiculous theory that she is actually dead and that there is some kind of Weekend at Bernie's-esque conspiracy to pretend she is still alive.

Now, one would think that her recent public appearance at a concert held in her honor would have put this to rest. Alas, it did not. Rather, the "researchers" (as they hilariously call themselves) determined that the concert was actually her funeral.

No. Really. That was a thing.

I admit that I gave this a lot more thought than I should have. Like, how did they think this would go? How long did they imagine this would go on for? Why would they risk having a full on funeral concert, open to the press? Wouldn't they just have not bothered to have a funeral at all? And what did these people think was going to happen when it was announced that she died for real? Or did they think that we were going to pretend that she is immortal and thus never announce her death? It's so confusing!

Being very up to date on the "RBG is secretly dead!" nonsense, I was very curious about which way the "anons" would go with this when they announced her return to work on Friday. They did not disappoint!

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Yesterday afternoon, 45-year-old Gary Martin of Aurora, Illinois was let go from his job at the Henry Pratt Company, a factory that manufactures water valves. In response, he took out a pistol with a laser scope and began shooting at random. He killed five people and injured six others who were just trying to make it through the day at the water valve factory, and then the police killed him.

His mother said he was "stressed out." He "seemed fine" according to the clerk at the Circle K where he bought his cigars that morning. His neighbor thought he was a nice guy. Some people were surprised, others were not.

This kind of thing used to be shocking, but it's a story we're used to now. It gets repeated at least once a month. It's just what happens now, and we can't do anything about it because we can't do anything about gun control. This is, the Right has decided, just the price we all have to pay so they can stockpile guns for funsies, and take sexy pictures of guns shoved in their pants. This is the blood that waters their special tree of liberty.

It's fucking exhausting. And stupid. We shouldn't have to live this way. No one should have to live this way. But we do. Why? Because some day some yahoos might want to overthrow the government, which is (of course) a completely legal thing to do, and their "right" to do that must be protected. So it's literally just never, ever going to stop.

Gary Martin, like most other mass shooters, also had a history of violence against women. In 1994, in Mississippi, he was convicted for stabbing one. He should not have been able to get a gun after that. I would like to know how and why he was able to get that pistol with the laser scope that he killed five people with yesterday afternoon. Maybe someone gave it to him. Maybe he bought it somehow. Maybe someone forgot to do a background check. Maybe he bought it from someone who didn't have to do a background check.

I am so goddamned tired of writing this article. I am out of things to say.


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