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You might recall how the Orange County School District in Florida was forced to delay -- forever, apparently -- its annual "Religious Freedom Day" when local evangelicals distribute Bibles and other religious materials to schoolchildren, because the Satanic Temple planned to join the fun and distribute a coloring book about Satanism.


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Since then, the Orange County School Board has thought long and hard about this whole question of inviting outside groups to hand out Bibles and religious tracts to children. They are still fine with that, but the courts have told them atheists and Satanists could hand out stuff, too, so they are now Very Concerned, and will consider a new policy Thursday to prohibit the distribution of all such materials.

The proposed policy would give priority to groups distributing materials that "fulfill a legitimate purpose of the Orange County Public Schools," and would prohibit both the Bible and the Satanic coloring books, except for very limited educational purposes:

Literature of a denominational, partisan, or sectarian nature shall not be distributed by school officials in any school. This restriction does not apply to the development or use of the Bible or other religious writings in classes for reference, literary, historical, and other non-religious purposes.

So, yes, you could still study the Bible in a history class, but the "World Changers of Florida" can't drop by to save kids' souls, as they had for several years. Nothing stopping you from taking care of that on your own time, of course.

Board member Linda Kobert seemed almost to get the point of the Satanic Temple's plan, which simply noted that if one sect gets to distribute its holy texts, you need to let everybody in on the fun. Kobert told a local TV station,

I'm a Christian too, I'm a person of faith, as are all the members of the board, but we are in the job of educating children ... That is a parent's responsibility -- to instill that faith in their children.

Of course, Kobert seems mostly concerned that the mean old Satanists found a loophole, in the form of the First Amendment:

"I think we've come to a place where we've may have been taken advantage of," she added. "We've been pretty lenient in the past in allowing the distribution to be passive on our campuses, but now it's come to a point where we have to make a decision."

The issue was raised in November, after a group wanted to hand out satanic materials to students.

"That one organization, that would not be acceptable to many other people," Kobert said. "That is not our job to decide which organizations are acceptable and which are not. It's our job to protect our kids."

Well, actually, it's mostly your job to educate the kids, which is where the whole program went off the rails to start with.

[Orlando Sentinel / MyFoxOrlando]

Doktor Zoom

Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.

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Guys, it's been one more shit day in a shit week in the fifth shit month of another shit Trump year. Which is why I need to remind you that it's not ALL shit out there! Oh, sure, it's MOSTLY shit, but you know what isn't shit? YR WONKETTE, and the strange community of strange internet people who have made getting through all this shit a bit more tolerable, that's who and what. Which is why you should give us money, so we can keep whanging away at the walls of shit with our shovels and laughing at the shit getting all over, because one of these days we will get it all cleaned up or at least not be up to our waists in shit, and we can all laugh about what a crazy fight it was, as St. Molly Ivins always kept reminding us.

In case you're new here, let me just remind you that Wonkette literally got me, Yr Dok Zoom, out of what wasn't quite poverty, but was pretty much paycheck-to-paycheck desperation. I started reading the site shortly before Barack Obama was elected, began commenting sometime in his first term, and submitted a story tip to Rebecca a few months after she bought the site for 47 dollars and a sandwich (I now understand it was a bit more than that). It was Memorial Day 2012, and she wrote back she was busy with some "stupid thing I have to do for some muneez," but would I like to try writing a blog post myself? "I understand if you say FUCK NO. But maybe you are thinking FUCK YES?" And then she warned me she paid only in Ameros. I did, the post was forgettable but OK, and then I wrote a thing (borrowed from now long-lost comments) that went semi-viral, and suddenly I was that hottest thing in publishing, a freelancer!

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There is a very normal article circulating on the internet right now by a fella named Don Boys (that's not the joke, the jokes are coming), who is both an insane batshit preacher, and also an insane batshit former member of the Indiana House of Representatives. (Also sometimes he blogs at the Daily Caller about how Mike Pence really went balls deep into the gay agenda when he swore in that insane batshit gay guy Rick Grenell as America's ambassador to Germany.)

This article, of course, is about Pete Buttigieg, because what are anti-gay buffoons obsessed with right now? Pete Buttigieg. Boys (still his name) is primarily concerned not with the simple fact that Buttigieg is gay, but with how gay Buttigieg really is. IN THE SEX WAY!

Well, Don, since you asked!

Shall we dive into this thing without the proper prophylactics? We shall.

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