"IANAL, but..."

How scared are Republicans right now? Scared enough that Scott Walker and the Wisconsin GOP are losing their shit over having to hold elections in districts they won by 17% and 23% the last cycle. We'll get to all the outrageous details in a minute, but let's not forget that Republicans are TERRIFIED that they're facing a 20-point swing toward Democrats in the 2018 electoral cycle. Why yes, that does feel nice.

Yesterday we almost flipped a seat in the Alabama legislature.

Yes, the Republicans are racing to ruin the country by November. But the blue wave is real, and it's coming. So don't lose hope!

But back to Wisconsin, where late last year Scott Walker appointed two state legislators to work in his administration. Those seats should be safe for Republicans, Wisconsin being gerrymandered to shit and all. But the most recent special election in Wisconsin saw a 36-point swing toward Democrats.

"Jeepers," said Governor Scotty, "we can't have that now, sure! Guess we just won't hold any elections at all if the voters are going to be like that."

Except Wisconsin law is very clear that the Governor SHALL call a special election in just this circumstance.

Any vacancy in the office of state senator or representative to the assembly occurring before the 2nd Tuesday in May in the year in which a regular election is held to fill that seat shall be filled as promptly as possible by special election.

Eric Holder's National Democratic Redistricting Committee sued Walker, and last week Judge Josann Reynolds ordered Walker to schedule the elections by tomorrow, March 29.

So the Wisconsin GOP got together and came up with A PLAN to ratfuck the Badger State.

"May it please the court, your Honor! We're going to get together for a special session on April 4 and change the law so Governor Kochsucker won't have to hold any elections. So please modify your order to comply with the law, not as it's currently written, but as we hope to rewrite it next week. 'Kay?"

Oddly enough, it did not please the court. As Judge Richard Niess put it,

No court that I’m aware of is at liberty to ignore the law in order to facilitate the Legislature’s consideration of bills that might become law. When and if a legislative bill becomes law it can be brought to the court, and at that time the arguments can be made as to what the effect of that law is on an already pending (order).

So now Scott Walker has appealed to a court in more conservative Waukesha County to issue an Emergency Stay of the Order to schedule elections. Then Republicans would have time to change the law to give Scott Walker the right to decide whether citizens from the state of Wisconsin go unrepresented in the legislature for an entire year. Which is some banana republic shit, even by Wisconsin standards.

Walker has requested that the Waukesha County Court rule by 9 a.m. tomorrow. We'll keep you posted on all the badgerfucking. But DAMMIT, Wisconsin! Y'all need to vote this slimy sumbitch out!

UPDATE: Looks like the Waukesha Court is having none of Scott Walker's bullshit either.

Representative government and the election of our representatives are never 'unnecessary,' never a 'waste of taxpayer resources,' and the calling of the special elections are as the Governor acknowledges, his 'obligation' to follow by virtue of § 8.50(4)(d).

We're sure this isn't the end of the fuckery, but now a third court has told Walker to schedule elections by noon tomorrow. So now all you Badgers can smack the shit out of him WITH VOTES!

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[Wisconsin Statute / Madison.com / Emergency Motion / Denial of Appeal]

Liz Dye

Liz Dye lives in Baltimore with her wonderful husband and a houseful of teenagers. When she isn't being mad about a thing on the internet, she's hiding in plain sight in the carpool line. She's the one wearing yoga pants glaring at her phone.


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