For His Next Trick, Glenn Beck Will Pull Mapplethorpe's Bullwhip Out Of His Butt
Back in 1987, before many of you young Wonkettarians were born (but not yr Wonkette, because we are ageless, like the sea) there was a kerfluffle over the National Endowment for the Arts and how it funded things that gave Lynne Cheney and some other old-school wingnuts a sad. Your grandpa was probably most upset by Andres Serrano's Piss Christ, which is...well, exactly what it sounds like. A crucifix submurged in Mr. Serrano's urine. (We have always taken Mr. Serrano at his word that it was indeed his urine). Yr Wonkette, and most sane people, had entirely forgotten about this whole debacle, but Fox News is still SO MAD and wants the White House to yell at Serrano, or a museum for displaying the piece again, or all of New York, or something. Glenn Beck isn't just getting mad, however. Glenn Beck is using his sad internet teevee show to get even:
The media giant is reacting to controversy over a painting of President Obama resembling Jesus Christ on a crucifix by putting a bobblehead doll of President Obama into a container of what appeared to be urine.
“I like to call this ‘Flobama,’” Beck said with a false French accent, as he played the role of a freedom-loving artist expressing himself on his television program Tuesday evening.He titled his artwork, “Obama in Pee Pee” and put a price tag of $25,000 on it. Ebay has since pulled the item, despite the proceeds slated for charity.
“I have been working on a masterpiece. I have been working on something for quite a while,” Beck clowned. “When I say quite a while, I mean all day, small little doses all day. I drank a lot of water when I did this.”
Man, eBay is always trying to keep Glenn Beck down!
Damn, but that Glenn Beck is CLEVER. He sure showed us! In fact, we are in a rage! All of us! Every librul on the planet is mad mad mad. And, by "every librul" we mean "a few random anonymous people on twitter." Listen, we don't get it either. There's no good reason that Fox or Beck or anyone should still be yelling at clouds over some nominally shocking art from 25 years ago. And Beck didn't even have the decency to be for-real shocking and go all GG Allin and use his own urine or Mr. Serrano's urine or anyone else's urine. Beck appears to have used Dos Equis Beer. Yr Wonkette would seriously consider drinking a mason jar of bobblehead-filled urine or going on a date with GG Allin before downing 32 ounces of Dos Equis.
This fixation is just weird. To be fair, it isn't, say, Andrew Shirvell stalker level of weird. Not even "I Will Always Love You" or "Every Breath You Take" level of creepy. Just more like that sad guy you went out with once in college and you heard a Gin Blossoms song on the radio and then he made you like ten mixtapes with "Hey Jealousy" on it until you graduated. Expect to have to care about this issue again in 2027 or so, kids.