FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE: Kerry Actually Did Something
There is nothing Washington editors fear more than the daily e-mails from Liz Richardson, deputy press secretary to the honorable guy from Massachusetts who isn't Teddy Kennedy. It's not because of Liz herself -- we don't know her and can't blame her for taking whatever job comes up in these tough times -- but because her name is attached to these endless John Kerry responses to everything that happens.
Whether somebody else's political speech or something happening in the House or an election dispute in Guam or trouble on the set of "America's Next Top Model," John Kerry always has a boring statement ready to go within seconds of said event. And it's Kerry, so the tone is always so pompous and stiff that you immediately disagree with it even if it was your own opinion seconds earlier.
So we're pleased to announce that this afternoon's Kerry-o-gram contains some actual news about legislation Kerry introduced in his own chamber. Hooray for the unanimous Senate passage of the "No pensions for disgraced congresspeople" law, otherwise known as the "Duke Cunningham's getting his full pension in federal prison?!" law.