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For the Record, We Turned Down Playboy (Thanks for Asking!)

If nothing else, this should put to rest the rumor that we cooked up the Washingtonienne thing ourselves: The NYT reports that D.C.'s own semi-pro harlot of the Hill has sold a book based on her experiences to HyperionDisney. In case you were wondering, that means to the Disney corporate mind, cornholing is awesome, but Bush-Saudi conspiracy theories? Won't touch them through ten latex condoms. The best part: They're paying her six-fucking-figures (as it were).


Well. We love ass-fucking too, and all we've ever gotten is cab fare home.

(By the way, that sound you hear? It's the dying gasp of a shark who has jumped and jumped and jumped. . . )

Books: Work In Progress [NYT via The Backer]

Backstory on the whole twisted saga after the jump.

What One Conservative Woman Thinks of Washingtonienne [Wonkette]

Washingtonienne(s) Lite [Wonkette]

Washington's Other W Twins [Wonkette]

WASHINGTONIENNE SPEAKS!! WONKETTE EXCLUSIVE!! MUST CREDIT WONKETTE!! THE WASHINGTONIENNE INTERVIEW!! [Wonkette]

Washingtonienne: Eliminated by Process [Wonkette]

Washingtonienne: Process of Elimination [Wonkette]

Save Washingtonienne! Or: We Are All Washingtonienne Now [Wonkette]

Washingtonienne: Aren't You Bored Yet? [Wonkette]

Would You Sell Sex to This Man? [Wonkette]

Washingtonienne: We Thought We Knew You [Wonkette]

Washingtonienne: Wonkette Works the Phones. [Wonkette]

Washingtonienne: Back from Monkeyfishing [Wonkette]

Washingtonienne: Not Fired, Gone Monkeyfishing? [Wonkette]

Washingtonienne A.P.B. [Wonkette]

Washingtonienne's Former Day Job [Wonkette]

The Lost Washingtonienne (WONKETTE EXCLUSIVE, ETC., ETC.) [Wonkette]

We Love You, Washingtonienne [Wonkette]

Where is Washingtonienne? [Wonkette]

A Girl After Our Own Heart (She's So Getting a Book Deal Out of This) [Wonkette]

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FINALLY. Of course, we say "finally," because we haven't been behind the scenes in the House Judiciary and Intelligence committees to witness the negotiating and wrangling firsthand, so we don't know what it's taken to make this happen, but clear your calendars for July 17, because Bobby Mueller is goin' to Congress!

Committee chairs Adam Schiff and Jerry Nadler sent the letter late yesterday, accompanied by a subpoena, for Mueller to testify at 9 a.m. Eastern on July 17, which is a Wednesday, so you will presumably not be busy with brunch. The hearings for each committee will be back to back, after which members of Mueller's staff will meet with committee staff behind closed doors.

Schiff told Rachel Maddow last night that it should not be viewed as a friendly subpoena, because as we all know, Mueller has been very reluctant to become the star of the political circus this will surely create. However, he's gonna have to suck it up, because as we all saw after what happened when Mueller addressed the nation for 10 whole minutes, there is great value in actually having Mueller breathe life into his own work, for an American audience that hasn't read his 448-page report. (And we don't blame them/you! We probably wouldn't have read it all if it wasn't our job. It would probably be on our "list," like "someday I am going to watch 'The Sopranos' start to finish finally. And then I will read the Mueller Report!")

Point is, it needs to happen on live TV, where people can gather around at work and on the train and in the Fantastic Sams while they gets their hair did, and let this highly respected public servant tell the story of how America's most hostile enemy attacked the 2016 election in order to help Donald Trump, how the Trump campaign was positively orgasmic over that reacharound, and how Trump criminally obstructed the investigation into that hostile foreign attack at every turn.

And because Robert Mueller is a patriotic American who respects the rule of law and our institutions, he will be complying with the subpoena, because of fucking course he will.

Right off the bat, we have a couple of questions:

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Beds at the 'temporary' shelter in Homestead, Florida. US HHS photo.

The House of Representatives passed a $4.5 billion emergency bill to fund detention of undocumented immigrants and asylum seekers yesterday, but the bill's demands that government meet minimal standards of humane treatment led Donald Trump to threaten a veto, because no one puts cruelty in a corner. The bill passed largely along party lines, 230-195, with four progressive Democratic first-term representatives opposing it because they believed the machinery of the New Cruelty shouldn't get a single dollar more. Trump prefers a bill already passed by the Senate, which would provide a similar level of funding $4.6 billion), but lacks the House bill's crazy radical requirements that migrants be held in less horrifying conditions than have been reported in the last week.

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