economics
DON'T PANIC! Cause It Won't Help Anyway.
Thanks, Putin!
March 09, 2020 12:10 PM
Today would be a good day to buy the dip, right, Eric?
Only, not right now, because, as we are typing this, trading in the New York Stock Exchange was shut down for 15 minutes after the S&P 500 dropped seven percent in the first four minutes of trading, triggering the automatic shut off provision. Whoopsie! This is the first time that's happened since December 2008, at the height of the financial crisis. You remember the pile of shit that George W. Bush and his idiotic tax cuts left for a Democratic president to clean up? Because history may not repeat itself, but it sure as hell does rhyme.
The proximate cause of this morning's chaos is partly coronavirus, of course, and partly a little love note from our pal Vladimir Putin, who just deliberately crashed the world oil market to fuck American shale producers. Let's oilsplain!
<p>Six years ago the Organization of Petroleum Exporting Countries (OPEC) and Russia <a href="https://foreignpolicy.com/2017/05/15/desperate-saudis-russians-agree-to-extend-oil-production-cuts-opec-energy-shale-boom/" target="_blank">agreed</a> to pump a whole lot of oil and flood the market to depress the price. Their hope was to make oil so cheap that American companies would be driven out of the fracking market, since it's more expensive to frack those dead dinosaurs out of the ground than it is to pump them through a traditional oil well. And it <em>kind of</em> worked for a while — remember all those <a href="https://www.theatlantic.com/business/archive/2015/06/north-dakota-oil-boom-bust/396620/" target="_blank">stories</a> about boom and bust in North Dakota's shale industry? But that oil was still in the ground and with the sunk costs of drilling down to get at it already paid, America's shale industry survived, with most of the big players coming through intact. Meanwhile, all those petro-states were getting killed by selling their oil so cheaply, and in 2016 they tapped out and agreed to cut production and raise prices again.</p><p>Here, have a chart, courtesy of <a href="https://www.statista.com/statistics/262858/change-in-opec-crude-oil-prices-since-1960/" target="_blank">Statista.com</a>.</p><p class="shortcode-media shortcode-media-rebelmouse-image">
<img type="lazy-image" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yMjg2NzUwMi9vcmlnaW4ucG5nIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTYxOTYyMjM1MX0.fshR7k68gomI1v4QXkFG3r2ea5xqlQ_wiHn-mSRQwww/img.png?width=980" id="09640" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="43c0175da809d226ddd1673858cf652f" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image">
</p><p>See how the prices went up as OPEC and Russia cut oil production? The problem for them, though, was that the US was simultaneously ramping up production as the price increased, so OPEC had to <em>keep on</em> cutting its output just to stop the market from becoming glutted with American oil and driving the price back down. And while the Saudis and Emiratis have infinity money to cushion the blow, Russia does not. </p><p>In Russia's eyes, propping up the oil price amounts to a subsidy for American shale producers. Moreover, Putin is furious about US sanctions on its oil industry. In December, the US sanctions <a href="https://www.rferl.org/a/more-nord-stream-2-sanctions-on-horizon-u-s-senator-and-ukraine-naftogaz-kobolyev/30475104.html" target="_blank">effectively halted</a> the $11 billion Nord Stream 2 oil pipeline that would have allowed Russia to export gas directly to Europe, bypassing Ukraine. The US has also made it more difficult for Russia's state-owned oil company Rosneft to do business in Venezuela. So Putin was already pissed off, even before coronavirus decimated demand, particularly in China where orders are now <a href="https://www.bloomberg.com/news/articles/2020-02-02/china-oil-demand-is-said-to-have-plunged-20-on-virus-lockdown" target="_blank">down by 20 percent</a>.</p><p>On Friday, Putin's energy minister walked into OPEC's headquarters in Vienna and dropped a figurative bomb: Russia wasn't going to go along with any more production cuts. Trump's BFF wants to go back to flooding the market while demand is low to try to bankrupt US shale producers. At which point, Saudi Arabia slashed oil prices 10 percent in retaliation.</p><p class="shortcode-media shortcode-media-twitter_embed">
<iframe width="100%" height="150" scrolling="no" class="rm-shortcode twitter-embed-1237024549046288385" id="twitter-embed-1237024549046288385" type="lazy-iframe" data-runner-src="/res/community/twitter_embed/?iframe_id=twitter-embed-1237024549046288385&created_ts=1583764609.0&screen_name=realDonaldTrump&text=Good+for+the+consumer%2C+gasoline+prices+coming+down%21&id=1237024549046288385&name=Donald+J.+Trump" frameborder="0" data-rm-shortcode-id="E8W5ET1583773517"></iframe>
</p><p>Well, that's <em>one way</em> to look at it. </p><p>On the other hand, it did cause oil futures to drop THIRTY-ONE PERCENT before the market opened this morning, sending the Dow Jones Industrial Average plummeting 1,800 points and triggering the "circuit breaker" that halted trading. And you don't have to be Milton Friedman to figure out that this is NOT GOOD. Like, not at all.</p><p>We don't need to spend all morning explaining the <a href="https://www.reuters.com/article/us-usa-economy-yieldcurve-explainer/countdown-to-recession-what-an-inverted-yield-curve-means-idUSKBN1ZR2EX" target="_blank">inverted yield curve</a>, but, in a nutshell, when you are lending the federal government money — i.e. buying a US Treasury bond — you would normally demand a <em>higher</em> interest rate on a long term loan than a short one, simply as compensation for having your cash locked down for years on end. When bond buyers are demanding greater interest on <em>short term</em> loans, it's a sign that they anticipate things getting very ugly, and they are willing to accept a lower rate of interest to keep their cash safely parked in US Treasury bonds. (If you think the market is headed for a crash, you throw your money into safe bonds, and you don't care if the rate is low.)</p><p class="shortcode-media shortcode-media-twitter_embed">
<iframe width="100%" height="150" scrolling="no" class="rm-shortcode twitter-embed-1236840105513553920" id="twitter-embed-1236840105513553920" type="lazy-iframe" data-runner-src="/res/community/twitter_embed/?iframe_id=twitter-embed-1236840105513553920&created_ts=1583720635.0&screen_name=Austan_Goolsbee&text=%40tracyalloway+%40StephenSpratt+%40Ruth_Liew10+%40jonfavs+%40TVietor08+%40hhigginbottom+%40davidaxelrod+you+guys+remember+when+w%E2%80%A6+https%3A%2F%2Ft.co%2F7ufN52gWWo&id=1236840105513553920&name=Austan+Goolsbee" frameborder="0" data-rm-shortcode-id="KGY91Y1583773517"></iframe>
</p><p>Austan Goolsbee was the chair of Obama's Council of Economics Advisors, BTW. And markets are scared because, when bond buyers are willing to accept a lower rate on 10-year bonds than 3-month ones, that's usually a sign that the economy is about to go into a <a href="https://www.bloomberg.com/news/articles/2020-03-09/treasury-10-year-yields-sink-to-0-5-for-the-first-time" target="_blank">recession</a>. Thanks, Obama!</p><p class="shortcode-media shortcode-media-twitter_embed">
<iframe width="100%" height="150" scrolling="no" class="rm-shortcode twitter-embed-1236980284744241154" id="twitter-embed-1236980284744241154" type="lazy-iframe" data-runner-src="/res/community/twitter_embed/?iframe_id=twitter-embed-1236980284744241154&created_ts=1583754056.0&screen_name=realDonaldTrump&text=The+Obama%2FBiden+Administration+is+the+most+corrupt+Administration+in+the+history+of+our+Country%21&id=1236980284744241154&name=Donald+J.+Trump" frameborder="0" data-rm-shortcode-id="97GTLE1583773517"></iframe>
</p><p>Anyway, this is all fine. Luckily we didn't piss away all our emergency economic tools on pointless interest rate cuts when the economy was humming along fine.<br></p><p><a href="https://www.wonkette.com/dont-worry-guys-trumps-got-this-whole-economy-thing-handled" target="_blank">OH, WAIT</a> ...</p><p>[<a href="https://www.bloomberg.com/news/articles/2020-03-08/yen-slides-as-oil-price-war-adds-to-global-worries-markets-wrap" target="_blank">Bloomberg</a> / <a href="https://www.latimes.com/business/story/2020-03-08/oil-price-war" target="_blank">LA Times</a> / <a href="https://www.forbes.com/sites/rrapier/2020/03/08/what-was-russia-thinking-in-refusing-to-cut-oil-production/#5c75ec457fcc" target="_blank">Forbes</a> / <a href="https://www.nytimes.com/2020/03/08/business/saudi-arabia-oil-prices.html" target="_blank">NYT</a>]</p><p><strong>Follow Liz Dye on Twitter <a href="https://twitter.com/5DollarFeminist" target="_blank">RIGHT HERE!</a></strong><br></p><p><strong>Please click here to fund Your Wonkette, who is freaking out a little bit, not gonna lie!</strong></p><p></p><form name="donation" method="post" class="donation-form"><p class="subheadline">How often would you like to donate?</p><div class="form-row row--plan"><label class="plan-type__label"><input type="radio" name="plan_type" value="once" class="plan-type" required="" checked> Just once
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Trump
India Loves Trump For Some Reason, Is Welcome To Keep Him If It Wants
A Passage To Idiocy.
February 24, 2020 01:36 PM
On his trip to India, Donald Trump did the two things he loves the most about being president: appearing before crowds of people who love him the most, and hugging, literally, a fellow elected authoritarian leader bent on turning his multicultural democracy into a sectarian ethnostate. Trump was greeted warmly by Indian Prime Minister Narendra Modi and treated to a rally in the largest cricket stadium in the world, with about 100,000 people in attendance.
Monday, the two Great Men traveled to visit an ashram where Indian independence leader Mohandas Gandhi once lived, and the Washington Post points out that while tens of thousands of Modi supporters lined the roads, the rally and following events fell a tad short of what the American strongman had predicted: "Trump had boasted at a rally in Colorado that 10 million people would greet him upon his arrival."
Then Trump and Melon went to the Taj Mahal to do the mandatory walk around while oohing and ahhing at the 17th century mausoleum. Trump said the building was "Incredible, truly incredible," and managed to refrain from speculating how much money the place could bring in a night if renovated as a hotel. It is not known whether Trump was informed the Taj is often considered a monument to the Mughal emperor Shah Jahan's undying love for his wife, Mumtaz Mahal -- we'll assume not, given that Trump didn't make a joke about how weird it was the guy would build such a big monument. Trump just doesn't seem to think spouses even like each other that much.
<p>The rally was a great big production, with the crowd <a href="https://www.newsweek.com/macho-man-plays-trump-enters-rally-india-modi-1488712" target="_blank">bopping along to "Macho Man"</a> and other Trump rally playlist hits. Nearly all those in attendance wearing "Namaste Trump" hats were very excited at first, although about <a href="https://www.washingtonpost.com/world/2020/02/24/trump-india-live-updates/" target="_blank">half the stadium emptied out </a>before Trump finished speaking. Not that you can blame them -- the crowd had been sitting in the stadium for hours beforehand, it was hot, and they probably wanted to get back on the buses to go home.</p><p class="shortcode-media shortcode-media-twitter_embed">
<iframe width="100%" height="150" scrolling="no" class="rm-shortcode twitter-embed-1231869785916526593" id="twitter-embed-1231869785916526593" type="lazy-iframe" data-runner-src="/res/community/twitter_embed/?iframe_id=twitter-embed-1231869785916526593&created_ts=1582535618.0&screen_name=AleemMaqbool&text=Ouch+https%3A%2F%2Ft.co%2FDHT9B0r651&id=1231869785916526593&name=Aleem+Maqbool" frameborder="0" data-rm-shortcode-id="Y6VV5O1582567513"></iframe>
</p><p>During his speech, Trump<a href="https://www.bbc.com/news/world-asia-india-51582996" target="_blank"> struggled with the phonetic pronunciations of Indian names</a> on his teleprompter, getting tongue tied as he apparently encountered them for the first time in his life. Real stumpers like the name of internationally-known cricketer Sachin Tendulkar, as well as <br></p><blockquote> Ahmedabad, the city where he was speaking, to Swami Vivekananda, an Indian philosopher, greatly admired by Mr Modi. He also called the Vedas - ancient Hindu texts - "Vestas".</blockquote><p>We remember how cute Audrey Hepburn looked riding around Rome on those Hindu scriptures. </p><p class="shortcode-media shortcode-media-twitter_embed">
<iframe width="100%" height="150" scrolling="no" class="rm-shortcode twitter-embed-1231933051338403841" id="twitter-embed-1231933051338403841" type="lazy-iframe" data-runner-src="/res/community/twitter_embed/?iframe_id=twitter-embed-1231933051338403841&created_ts=1582550702.0&screen_name=SkyNews&text=Donald+Trump+started+his+trip+to+India+with+a+speech+about+how+much+he+appreciates+Indian+culture+-+but+he+struggle%E2%80%A6+https%3A%2F%2Ft.co%2FKHBuqMJYyX&id=1231933051338403841&name=Sky+News" frameborder="0" data-rm-shortcode-id="AK6ED21582567513"></iframe>
</p><p>The fumbling didn't matter, though, because right-wing Indians love Trump anyway. Or at least they love Modi and his agenda of Hindu nationalism, which among other fun things, includes <a href="https://www.pbs.org/newshour/show/in-india-modis-citizenship-proposal-for-non-muslim-refugees-prompts-outrage" target="_blank">preventing Muslim refugees</a> from becoming citizens, <a href="https://www.reuters.com/article/us-india-kashmir-internet/limited-internet-to-be-restored-in-kashmir-no-access-to-social-media-idUSKBN1ZO0A1" target="_blank">cutting off the the Kashmir region </a> from the internet and free press, and <a href="https://news.avclub.com/on-the-eve-of-trumps-india-visit-john-oliver-offers-in-1841883492" target="_blank">writing out any evidence of non-Hindu influence</a> from the nation's history. Nehru who? Trump isn't expected to do anything of substance on the trip anyway, although he proudly announced some US weapon sales to India, and we imagine he and Modi will swap tips on eliminating internal enemies. <br></p><p>During the visit to Gandhi's home at Sabarmati Ashram, Trump made a game attempt at sitting at a spinning wheel like a visiting dignitary ought to, and managed to avoid saying that in addition to winning Indian independence, he also admired other great works by Ben Kingsley. He signed the guest book with praise for Modi, with no mention at all of Gandhi, in contrast to what Barack Obama's wrote about Gandhi and Martin Luther King Jr. in the guest book at another Gandhi memorial:</p><p class="shortcode-media shortcode-media-twitter_embed">
<iframe width="100%" height="150" scrolling="no" class="rm-shortcode twitter-embed-1231847644206530565" id="twitter-embed-1231847644206530565" type="lazy-iframe" data-runner-src="/res/community/twitter_embed/?iframe_id=twitter-embed-1231847644206530565&created_ts=1582530339.0&screen_name=charmyh&text=What+Barack+Obama+wrote+on+Gandhi+at+the+Rajghat+logbook+and+what+Trump+wrote+on%2C+ahem%2C+Modi+on+Sabarmati+Ashram+gu%E2%80%A6+https%3A%2F%2Ft.co%2FfurRM4a3M9&id=1231847644206530565&name=Charmy+Harikrishnan+%E0%B4%9A%E0%B4%BE%E0%B4%AE%E0%B4%BF+%E0%B4%B9%E0%B4%B0%E0%B4%BF%E0%B4%95%E0%B5%83%E0%B4%B7%E0%B5%8D%E0%B4%A3%E0%B5%BB" frameborder="0" data-rm-shortcode-id="1ZDGGO1582567513"></iframe>
</p><p>Thank heaven some rando on Twitter <a href="https://twitter.com/PouncerUSA/status/1231876845395697664" target="_blank">pointed out</a> that Trump's inscription was actually better, since Obama was just showing off to make himself look like a big man who knows stuff. </p><p>Also on Sunday, Trump met with Yogi Adityanath, the chief minister of India's biggest state, Uttar Pradesh. Adityanath is a "radical Hindu monk known for his anti-Muslim rhetoric," <a href="https://www.washingtonpost.com/world/2020/02/24/trump-india-live-updates/" target="_blank">according to</a> the <em>Washington Post,</em> and he's said some wonderful things that could have been uttered by Steve Bannon or Trump himself if you switched around a few words: </p><blockquote>In 2014, Adityanath <a href="https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/worldviews/wp/2017/03/19/for-state-leader-modi-taps-firebrand-politician-who-once-advocated-killing-muslims/" target="_blank">promised to cleanse India</a> of other religions. "This is the century of Hindutva, not just in India but in the entire world," he said. <br><br>He has also accused Nobel Peace Prize winner Mother Teresa, a Roman Catholic nun who worked with terminally ill patients in the eastern city of Kolkata, of being part of a <a href="https://economictimes.indiatimes.com/news/politics-and-nation/bjp-mp-yogi-adityanath-accuses-mother-teresa-of-religious-conversion/articleshow/52842431.cms?from=mdr" target="_blank">conspiracy to convert</a> Hindus to Christianity. In 2015, after Bollywood star <a href="https://indianexpress.com/article/india/india-news-india/no-difference-between-shah-rukh-khan-and-hafiz-saeed-yogi-adityanath/" target="_blank">Shahrukh Khan</a>, a Muslim, spoke on the "growing intolerance" in the country, Adityanath compared him to Hafiz Saeed, a founder of terrorist group Lashkar-e-Taiba in Pakistan.</blockquote><p>The BBC <a href="https://www.bbc.com/news/world-asia-india-51382414" target="_blank">reported </a>earlier this month that Adityanath explained in an interview that when India and Pakistan were partitioned in 1948, Muslims who decided to stay in India had done "no favours" to India by staying there instead of moving. So that's nice. </p><p>All in all, it was a very successful trip to signal unquestioning support -- apart from trade disputes -- for the leader of the country that's home to the most Trump Organization properties outside the USA. And in a tacit recognition that Modi's Hindu nationalism is the very best, Trump sent out several Google-translated tweets in Hindi, which is not spoken by all Indians, but is by the ones who matter. </p><p class="shortcode-media shortcode-media-rebelmouse-image">
<img type="lazy-image" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yMjc4NjAwNi9vcmlnaW4uanBnIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTYwMzgzNDY3NH0.cKmaFj1CpC_QrSW0_rUQtLyUhMH-9xDTXfhXCLUBk98/img.jpg?width=980" id="6d2ec" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="1c9381836abc4da07a5829b3d7f9dcaa" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image">
</p><p>(A reader consulted with a Hindi-speaking coworker, who <a href="https://twitter.com/DKilfoil/status/1231951401833635841" target="_blank">confirms</a> that this sounds about equally robotic in Hindi.)</p><p>Donald Trump cares, is the point. </p><p class="shortcode-media shortcode-media-twitter_embed">
<iframe width="100%" height="150" scrolling="no" class="rm-shortcode twitter-embed-1231907071307595778" id="twitter-embed-1231907071307595778" type="lazy-iframe" data-runner-src="/res/community/twitter_embed/?iframe_id=twitter-embed-1231907071307595778&created_ts=1582544508.0&screen_name=RanaAyyub&text=Donald+Trump+will+be+visiting+Delhi+tomorrow.+This+is+the+city+right+now.+Mr.Modi+is+too+busy+with+the+song+and+dan%E2%80%A6+https%3A%2F%2Ft.co%2FwUnwyc2m4S&id=1231907071307595778&name=Rana+Ayyub" frameborder="0" data-rm-shortcode-id="26QDQH1582567513"></iframe>
</p><p>Next it's on to Delhi, where people have been <a href="https://www.washingtonpost.com/world/2020/02/24/trump-india-live-updates/" target="_blank">rioting</a> over India's discriminatory immigration law. Trump will probably suggest dropping bombs or at least raking up the streets. <br></p><p>[<a href="https://www.politico.com/news/2020/02/24/donald-trump-india-spectacle-117112" target="_blank">Politico </a>/ <a href="https://www.theguardian.com/world/2020/feb/24/namaste-donald-trump-india-welcomes-us-president-narendra-modi-rally" target="_blank">BBC </a>/ <a href="https://www.washingtonpost.com/world/2020/02/24/trump-india-live-updates/" target="_blank">WaPo</a> / <a href="https://www.bbc.com/news/world-asia-india-51382414" target="_blank">BBC</a> / <a href="https://www.newsweek.com/macho-man-plays-trump-enters-rally-india-modi-1488712" target="_blank">Newsweek</a> / Photo: Dan McQuade, used by permission. See his <a href="https://theconcourse.deadspin.com/a-trip-to-the-remnants-of-donald-trump-s-atlantic-city-1796773114" target="_blank">excellent 2017 Deadspin piece</a> on the liquidation sale at Trump's own Taj Mahal]</p><p><strong>Yr Wonkette is supported entirely by reader donations. Please help us keep the servers humming and the writers paid.</strong> </p><p></p><form name="donation" method="post" class="donation-form"><p class="subheadline">How often would you like to donate?</p><div class="form-row row--plan"><label class="plan-type__label"><input type="radio" name="plan_type" value="once" class="plan-type" required="" checked> Just once
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White House
White House Purges All Deep State Imperialist Running Dogs It Inexplicably Hired
Excellent vetting!
February 24, 2020 01:07 PM
PUUUUUURGE! The Trump administration is going on a firing spree to get rid of those dirty "professionals," who do their job but lack sufficient loyalty to the Dear Leader. Axios reports that Ginni Thomas, AKA Mrs. Justice Clarence Thomas, has been meeting with conservative activists who call themselves Groundswell to compile a hit list of political appointees to get the axe.
We're not talking about civil service employees, here, since they have at least some legal protections. No, these are people hired by the Trump administration, who are now getting whacked for being secret Deep State counter-revolutionaries. Or something.
Since Trump's Senate acquittal, aides say the president has crossed a psychological line regarding what he calls the "Deep State." He feels his government — from Justice to State to Defense to Homeland Security — is filled with "snakes." He wants them fired and replaced ASAP.
Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they're not out to get you. But you should probably see a neurologist STAT.
<p>Noted <a href="https://slate.com/news-and-politics/2019/01/ginni-thomas-white-house-meeting-patronage-grift.html" target="_blank">conspiracy loon</a> Ginni Thomas has been scribbling this enemies list in the conference room at Judicial Watch, aided by such luminaries as Barbara Ledeen, Mike Flynn's companion for that 2016 <a href="https://themoscowproject.org/breaking-down-the-mueller-report/breaking-down-the-mueller-report-barbara-ledeens-search-for-clintons-emails/" target="_blank">field trip</a> to the dark web looking to buy up Hillary Clinton's deleted emails. Ledeen is also a high-ranking staffer on the Senate Judiciary Committee, and we'll have <em>many thoughts</em> about her later this afternoon. (Spoiler Alert: She's THE WORST.)</p><p>After Groundswell's early success getting rid of National Security Advisor H.R. McMaster for insufficient MAGA energy, Thomas <a href="https://www.wonkette.com/trump-hosted-a-happy-hour-with-ginni-thomas-conspiracy-kook-funtime-gang" target="_blank">scored a meeting</a> with the president in January 2019, where he "listen[ed] quietly as members of the group denounced transgender people and women serving in the military." According to the <a href="https://www.nytimes.com/2020/02/22/us/politics/trump-disloyalty-turnover.html?action=click&module=Top%20Stories&pgtype=Homepage" target="_blank"><em>New York Times</em></a>, Thomas accused the White House of blocking Trump's "real" supporters from getting jobs in his administration. </p><p>Or perhaps her allies can't get hired in the executive branch because they're all fucking crazy and wouldn't pass a background check. </p><p>Here's her personnel wish list, via Axios:</p><ul class="ee-ul"><li>Sheriff David Clarke for a senior Homeland Security role.</li><li>Fox News regular and former Secret Service agent Dan Bongino for a Homeland Security or counterterrorism adviser role.</li><li>Devin Nunes aide Derek Harvey for the National Security Council (where he served before McMaster pushed him out).</li><li>Radio talk show host Chris Plante for press secretary.</li><li>Federalist contributor Ben Weingarten for the National Security Council.</li></ul><div>KEWL. Let's put Sheriff <a href="https://www.jsonline.com/story/news/politics/2017/05/28/breaking-down-sheriff-david-clarke-pins/352558001/" target="_blank">"Blingee"</a> Clarke, who routinely <a href="https://www.wonkette.com/retired-cop-david-clarke-resolves-to-spend-2018-inciting-violence-from-comfort-of-his-barcalounger" target="_blank">tweets threats</a> at journalists, was <a href="https://www.wonkette.com/fox-news-dumped-david-clarke-we-never-even-noticed-or-really-cared" target="_blank">too crazy</a> even for Fox News, and whom the Trump administration already <a href="https://www.wonkette.com/guess-sheriff-david-clarke-will-only-kill-people-in-milwaukee-not-whole-country-darn" target="_blank">took a pass on,</a> in charge of DHS. Bongino's <a href="https://abovethelaw.com/2019/12/melting-snowflake-dan-bongino-sues-daily-beast-for-hurt-fee-fees-and-defamatory-gist/" target="_blank">not doing anything</a> but hoovering up cash from <a href="https://www.mediamatters.org/fox-news/foxs-dan-bongino-appears-trump-campaign-video-despite-purported-network-policy" target="_blank">conservatives</a> since NRATV folded, so give him a job, too. And no one knows who funds The Federalist, but Ben Weingarten just got finished writing <em>American Ingrate: Ilhan Omar and the Progressive-Islamist Takeover of the Democratic Party</em>, so he's got some time on his hands.</div><p>Sorry, Ginny. Maybe <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chris_Plante" target="_blank">Plante</a> and <a href="https://www.wonkette.com/whos-colluding-whom" target="_blank">Nunes's lackey Harvey</a> have a shot, but Benny, Blingee, and Bingo Bango Bongo are probably a no-go. And Groundswell's last pick for NSA, John Bolton, didn't exactly live up to the hype, either.</p><p>But the purge continues apace. Trump has brought back his former body man Johnny McEntee, who was <a href="https://www.wonkette.com/trump-white-house-loses-last-fuckable-guy" target="_blank">escorted off the premises</a> last year for reported gambling issues, to head the Office of Presidential Personnel, in charge of hundreds of executive branch appointees. The <em>New York Times</em> reports:</p><blockquote>Johnny McEntee, a 29-year-old loyalist just installed to take over the Office of Presidential Personnel and reporting directly to Mr. Trump, has ordered a freeze on all political appointments across the government. He also convened a meeting to instruct departments to search for people not devoted to the president so they can be removed, according to people briefed about the session, and informed colleagues that he planned to tell cabinet secretaries that the White House would be choosing their deputies from now on.</blockquote><p>Under McEntee, NSC professionals Lt. Col. Alexander Vindman, Victoria Coates, and Andrew Hallman have been shunted to other agencies. With DNI Maguire out, and <a href="https://www.wonkette.com/meet-ric-grenell-americas-first-gay-troll-traitor-acting-dni" target="_blank">Ric Grenell</a> in, there will be no one presenting annoying intel about actual facts on the ground that conflict with Trumpland alternative facts. Investigations of pro-Trump Russian election attacks will be suppressed. Because what even is the purpose of intelligence if it can't be used to help perpetuate Republican power?</p><p>It's bad. <em>It's so bad.</em> Happy Monday!</p><p>[<a href="https://www.axios.com/trump-memos-deep-state-white-house-ce5be95f-2418-433d-b036-2bf41c9700c3.html" target="_blank">Axios</a> / <a href="https://www.nytimes.com/2020/02/22/us/politics/trump-disloyalty-turnover.html?action=click&module=Top%20Stories&pgtype=Homepage" target="_blank">NYT</a>]</p><p><strong>Follow <a href="https://twitter.com/5DollarFeminist" target="_blank">Liz Dye</a> on Twitter!</strong></p><p><strong>Please click here to help your Wonkette keep keepin' an eye on these grifty sumbitches!</strong></p><p></p><form name="donation" method="post" class="donation-form"><p class="subheadline">How often would you like to donate?</p><div class="form-row row--plan"><label class="plan-type__label"><input type="radio" name="plan_type" value="once" class="plan-type" required="" checked> Just once
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Russia
The Top 768,796 Reasons Putin Wants Trump Re-Elected, For GOP Rep. Chris Stewart And Idiots Like Him
WE ARE JUST TRYING TO HELP.
February 21, 2020 02:57 PM
Yesterday we learned about the Russia briefing to the House Intelligence Committee that pissed off Donald Trump so much he fired his director of national intelligence, because the ODNI briefer told Congress the obvious truth that Russia is trying to get Trump re-elected. In that briefing, butthole-mouthed GOP Rep. Chris Stewart of Utah was reportedly highly skeptical that Vladimir Putin would even want Trump re-elected, because Stewart is apparently high on his own sauce and truly believes the lies he tells himself about how Trump has been tougher on Putin than anybody else.
According to the New York Times,
Mr. Stewart insisted that the president had aggressively confronted Moscow, providing anti-tank weapons to Ukraine for its war against Russia-backed separatists and strengthening the NATO alliance with new resources, according to two people briefed on the meeting.
Mr. Stewart declined to discuss the briefing but said that Moscow had no reason to support Mr. Trump. He pointed to the president's work to confront Iran, a Russian ally, and encourage European energy independence from Moscow. "I'd challenge anyone to give me a real-world argument where Putin would rather have President Trump and not Bernie Sanders," Mr. Stewart said in an interview, referring to the nominal Democratic primary race front-runner.
This is the guy who was reportedly one of Trump's top choices for permanent director of national intelligence, but apparently isn't anymore because somebody showed Trump a mean quote Stewart said in 2016 where he called Trump "Mussolini" and Trump doesn't like him anymore. (Funny how much these Republicans have changed! Wonder why.)
Regardless, that sound you hear right now is Wonkette and every other patriotic and informed American endlessly screaming and banging our heads against the wall and wondering how Stewart and his fellow Trump-humping Republicans manage to put on pants in the morning without injuring themselves.
Why would Putin want Trump? Dunno, Congressman, why did Putin want Trump in the first fucking place? Because the reasons back then are the same as the reasons now, except for how how Putin also had a personal vendetta against Hillary Clinton in 2016. But oh boy, there were a thousand reasons Putin preferred to have his puppet Donald Trump in the American presidency then, and there are a million more now!
Instead of endlessly screaming, Wonkette chooses to be helpful to Chris Stewart and anybody else who is as dumb as he is and answer his question. CHALLENGE ACCEPTED, DUMBASS.
Here is a long but not remotely exhaustive listicle! CLIP AND SHARE whenever someone is BEING AN IDIOT.
<h2>The Top 768,796 Reasons Trump Is Putin's Boy 4EVA!</h2><p><strong>1. Trump has not <em>strengthened</em></strong><strong> NATO.</strong> Trump <em><a href="https://www.wonkette.com/trump-putin" target="_blank">hates NATO.</a></em><a href="https://www.wonkette.com/trump-putin"></a> He<a href="https://www.wonkette.com/trump-nato" target="_blank"> hates it so much.</a> Trump believes dumb wrong shit about how NATO budgets are supposed to work and accuses everybody else of not "paying their fair share." He reportedly <em>constantly</em> <a href="https://www.wonkette.com/donald-trump-just-asking-why-nato-is-even-a-thing" target="_blank">talks about</a> leaving NATO.</p><p>Oh yeah, and he also wants to pull us out of the World Trade Organization (WTO), which would just be another gift to Putin. He fucking <a href="https://www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/global-opinions/trump-is-trying-to-destabilize-the-european-union/2018/06/28/729cb066-7b10-11e8-aeee-4d04c8ac6158_story.html?utm_term=.d47417505643" target="_blank">told Emmanuel Macron</a> to pull France out of the European Union, and breaking up the EU is one of Putin's wet dreams. </p><p><strong>2. Challenge Iran? Fuck off.</strong> Trump pulled out of the Iran nuclear agreement, which was fucking <em>working</em>. He <a href="https://www.wonkette.com/everything-about-trump-pulling-out-of-syria-screams-vladimir-i-have-made-you-a-christmas-present" target="_blank">tried and tried</a> to pull troops out of northern Syria, and eventually (falsely) declared victory over ISIS and <a href="https://www.wonkette.com/did-turkey-promise-to-investigate-joe-biden-or-something-is-that-why-were-pulling-out-of-syria" target="_blank">got it done,</a> effectively ceding that region to Putin, Assad, and the Iranians, to divvy up and share as they see fit. Hell, he's <a href="https://www.wonkette.com/trump-tied-to-creepy-crimers-in-whole-new-country-and-it-is-azerbaijan" target="_blank">tried to do business,</a> albeit indirectly, with the goddamned Iranian Revolutionary Guard. Trump's record on "challenging Iran" is at best inconsistent. He might bumblefuck us into a war with Iran, but even that would redound to Putin's benefit. </p><p><strong>3. Providing anti-tank weapons to Ukraine? Yes, he sure did!</strong> And then — Chris Stewart might not remember this, or believe it — but Trump was just impeached for <a href="https://www.wonkette.com/trumps-ukraine-transcript-is-real-and-it-is-bugf-ck" target="_blank">using said military assistance</a> to extort Ukraine into <a href="https://www.wonkette.com/we-need-to-talk-more-about-the-deliverable-trump-wanted-from-ukraine" target="_blank">announcing investigations</a> into Trump's political rivals and Trump's pet conspiracy theories about fake Ukrainian meddling in the 2016 election. He put a hold on the military assistance, and he also denied new Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelenskyy the pomp and circumstance of a White House meeting, <a href="https://www.wonkette.com/lt-col-alex-vindmans-testimony-just-reminded-us-of-something-that-pisses-us-the-f-ck-off" target="_blank">clear signals to Russia</a> that Trump's "support" for Ukraine is entirely transactional and really honestly, he doesn't care about Ukraine. (He only cares about "big things," as <a href="https://www.wonkette.com/witness-confirms-gordon-sondland-a-goddamn-idiot" target="_blank">Gordon Sondland told</a> diplomat David Holmes.)</p><p><strong>4. Actually Trump kind of supports Russia's war on Ukraine.</strong> He <a href="https://www.wonkette.com/trump-kissing-putins-ass-on-ukraine-ho-hum-what-a-shock-wonder-why" target="_blank">kisses Putin's ass</a> on Ukraine every chance he gets. They <a href="https://www.wonkette.com/trump-kissing-putins-ass-on-ukraine-ho-hum-what-a-shock-wonder-why" target="_blank">speak Russian</a> in Crimea, after all! Trump lies and says Russia got kicked out of the G7 for totally unfair reasons, not for its illegal invasion and seizure of the Crimean peninsula, but because Putin "outsmarted" President Obama and <em>hurt Obama's feelings</em>. Trump <a href="https://www.wonkette.com/is-trump-a-russian-asset-the-dumbest-idiot-ever-or-all-of-them-katie-spies-and-former-spies-weigh-in" target="_blank">constantly lobbies</a> to get Russia readmitted and make the G7 the G8 again. During the 2016 campaign, he <a href="https://www.wonkette.com/is-this-collusion-because-it-looks-like-f-cking-collusion" target="_blank">got the Republican platform changed</a> to soften its stance against Russia's war on Ukraine. He's specifically <a href="https://www.wonkette.com/what-did-trump-promise-to-the-president-of-ukraine-or-russia-or-you-know-whoever" target="_blank">been defunding</a> initiatives set up by the Obama administration to protect Ukraine and other Eastern European allies from Russian aggression. </p><p><strong>5. Actually Trump kind of <a href="https://www.wonkette.com/trump-russia-afghanistan" target="_blank">supports</a> all Russia's wars</strong> against the former Soviet satellites, as Putin seeks to consolidate power and Make Russia Great Again. At the beginning of his presidency, career national security people were weirded out when Trumpers started wanting information about "Polish incursions in Belarus," which is what is known in the world of geopolitics as NOT A THING THAT IS HAPPENING. But you know who said it was happening? The Kremlin's propaganda department, in order to scare Belarus into thinking Poland was going to invade, and thus turn Belarus more toward Russia.</p><p><strong>6. And speaking of Trump's pet conspiracy theories</strong> about the 2016 election, we should mention that they are <a href="https://www.wonkette.com/breaking-fiona-hill-smart-devin-nunes-full-of-cow-sh-t" target="_self">KREMLIN PROPAGANDA.</a> Trump believes all Kremlin propaganda, but he <em>especially</em> <a href="https://www.wonkette.com/trump-putin-press-conference" target="_self">believes Putin</a> when Putin says he didn't rig the election for Trump. Chris Stewart's brain might not have attended the impeachment hearings, but witnesses said over and over and over and fucking OVER again that Russia was the one that attacked the 2016 election, and Democratic counsel repeatedly showed Putin not only <em>seeding</em> the conspiracy theory about fake Ukrainian interference in the election, but <a href="https://www.wonkette.com/russian-tv-cant-stop-loling-at-putins-special-agent-donald-trump" target="_self">also Putin's more recent quote</a> where he thanked baby Jesus that "nobody" is blaming Russia for the 2016 attacks anymore.</p><p><strong>7. Trump also believes Kremlin propaganda</strong> on some stuff that is really obscure for Westerners, but close to Putin's heart, and to Putin's dreams of restoring Russia to its former Soviet-era glory. He <a href="https://www.wonkette.com/trump-russia-afghanistan" target="_blank">believes</a> the Russian war in Afghanistan was a good war, at a time when Putin's government has specifically been trying to whitewash the history of that war. He <a href="https://www.wonkette.com/we-have-always-been-at-war-with-montenegro" target="_blank">was against</a> Montenegro joining NATO, just like Putin was, and just like NOBODY ELSE WAS, because Montenegro is full of "aggressive" people who might accidentally get us into World War III. In 2016, Putin literally <a href="https://www.reuters.com/article/us-montenegro-election-trial/montenegro-begins-trial-of-alleged-pro-russian-coup-plotters-idUSKBN1A413F" target="_blank">tried to stage a coup</a> to depose the leader of Montenegro. </p><p>Once Montenegro did join NATO in 2017, Trump <em><a href="https://twitter.com/andyoare/status/867769124646141953" target="_blank">shoved</a> the prime minister of Montenegro at a NATO meeting</em>. (To be fair, it is possible Trump was just being a selfish dick.)</p><p><strong>8. FUCKING SANCTIONS.</strong> What did Trump tell Russian spy Maria Butina at the beginning of his campaign? That he <a href="https://www.wonkette.com/maria-butina-2622591525" target="_blank">wanted to lift</a> the Russian sanctions. What were <a href="https://www.wonkette.com/everyone-in-trumpland-lied-about-russia-sanctions-huh-how-weird" target="_blank">all those weird meetings</a> between Trumpers and Russians during the 2016 campaign and the transition about? Lifting Russian sanctions. What did Michael Flynn <a href="https://www.wonkette.com/lets-talk-about-that-idiot-michael-flynn-because-it-is-a-day" target="_blank">lie to the FBI</a> about? Secret back-channeling with the Russians about lifting sanctions. Trump Tower meeting? Sanctions. Erik Prince's <a href="https://www.wonkette.com/youre-not-gonna-believe-this-but-erik-prince-lied-to-congress" target="_blank">meeting in the Seychelles</a> with the head of the Russian sovereign wealth fund? Sanctions. What did the Trump administration try to do <em>almost immediately</em> after the inauguration? <a href="https://www.yahoo.com/news/trump-administrations-secret-efforts-ease-russia-sanctions-fell-short-231301145.html" target="_blank">Lift all the sanctions.</a> What does Putin want more than anything in the whole world, at least as a short-term goal? For Trump to lift the sanctions.</p><p>And Trump, throughout his entire presidency, has <a href="https://www.washingtonexaminer.com/rex-tillerson-trump-not-very-happy-about-russia-sanctions-bill" target="_blank">stomped his feet and wailed</a> every time he had to keep the sanctions or <a href="https://www.wonkette.com/trump-administration-does-literal-least-it-can-do-to-punish-russia-for-spy-poisoning-attack" target="_blank">impose new sanctions.</a> His Treasury Secretary Steven Mnuchin is <a href="https://www.wonkette.com/nancy-pelosi-gonna-break-her-heel-off-in-steven-mnuchins-botoxed-ass" target="_blank">always finding excuses</a> to un-sanction Russians. </p><p>It's the <a href="https://www.wonkette.com/trump-administration-does-literal-least-it-can-do-to-punish-russia-for-spy-poisoning-attack" target="_self">fuckin' sanctions,</a> stupid. </p><p><strong>9. Putin's got somethin' on him,</strong> and we still don't know what it is. Betcha Trump does, though! Maybe that's why he's always <a href="https://www.wonkette.com/trump-hiding-all-his-love-letters-from-putin-because-thats-normal" target="_blank">hiding the love notes</a> from his secret sessions with Putin and getting <a href="https://www.wonkette.com/donald-trump-told-the-russians-to-hack-away-and-its-all-coming-out-now" target="_blank">their personal calls placed</a> in the Bin Laden vault. </p><p>But one day we're going to see Trump's full taxes and financials, and we're going to find out if all those mysterious loans Trump got from Deutsche Bank, after no other bank would lend to Trump, were underwritten by Russian state-owned VTB bank, <a href="https://forensicnews.net/2020/01/03/trump-deutsche-bank-loans-underwritten-by-russian-state-owned-bank-whistleblower-told-fbi/" target="_blank">as has been rumored.</a> Russia has been <a href="https://www.wonkette.com/trump-russia-conspiracy" target="_blank">courting Trump</a> since the 1980s, and it's useful to remember that the current regime in Russia came from the remnants of the old KGB. Like GOP House Minority Leader <a href="https://www.wonkette.com/did-trump-offer-to-pardon-assange-in-exchange-for-sexxxxy-hillary-dirts" target="_blank">Kevin McCarthy said</a> in summer of 2016, back when he was the House majority leader, "I think there's two people Putin pays — [Dana] Rohrabacher and Trump." He added that he was fuckin' serious, no kiddin'.</p><p><strong>10. Trump <a href="https://www.wonkette.com/fbi-been-wonderin-if-trump-is-literal-actual-russian-intelligence-asset-for-long-ass-time" target="_blank">has obstructed</a> every single investigation</strong> into Russia's election attacks and other crimes. The day after he fired FBI Director James Comey, he <a href="https://www.wonkette.com/trump-and-lavrov-meet-in-oval-office-for-a-little-reverse-santy-clausin-allegedly" target="_blank">told the Russians</a> in the Oval Office that now that he'd dealt with <em>that </em>"nut job," the pressure was off of him when it came to Russia. Then he <a href="https://www.wonkette.com/fbi-been-wonderin-if-trump-is-literal-actual-russian-intelligence-asset-for-long-ass-time" target="_blank">gave them</a> some super-secret classified intel. He <a href="https://www.wonkette.com/trump-tried-to-saturday-night-massacre-robert-mueller-by-the-pussy-but-he-couldnt-get-there" target="_blank">tried to fire Robert Mueller</a> to stop the special counsel's investigation into Russia's <a href="https://www.wonkette.com/bill-barr-drew-dicks-all-over-mueller-report-but-lets-liveblog-it-anyway" target="_blank">"sweeping and systematic" attack</a> on the election. Paul Manafort lied to Robert Mueller and <a href="https://www.wonkette.com/manafort-mueller-draft" target="_blank">went to prison to protect</a> what he knew about what really happened, and what he did, in 2016. </p><p>Trump is protecting himself, clearly, but he's also protecting Putin.</p><p><strong>11. Who treats Trump like a Russian asset? Oh just everybody. </strong>His bumblefucking around and giving the Russians classified intel in the Oval Office <a href="https://www.wonkette.com/russia-wants-its-cia-asset-spy-back-heckuva-job-everyone" target="_blank">also contributed,</a> at least partially, to the CIA <a href="https://www.wonkette.com/everything-about-this-russian-spy-extraction-story-is-unsettling-as-f-ck" target="_blank">having to extract its most secret spy</a> from the Kremlin, the one who provided the intel that said Putin had directly ordered the 2016 election attack. Indeed, Trump <a href="https://www.wonkette.com/trump-aka-miss-manners-thinks-using-foreign-spies-is-how-rude" target="_blank">just thinks</a> it is very HOW RUDE! to spy on people he loves, like Putin and Kim Jong-Un. You're welcome, Vladimir!</p><p>Hell, THE PENTAGON <a href="https://www.wonkette.com/its-ok-to-treat-trump-like-a-russian-agent-the-pentagon-does" target="_blank">has been known</a> to hold back info about operations against Russia from Trump, for fear he will blab it TO RUSSIA. That's right, THE PENTAGON treats Trump like a Russian asset.</p><p><strong>12. Who does Trump blame</strong> when Putin murders somebody on foreign soil? <a href="https://www.washingtonpost.com/politics/trumps-calls-with-foreign-leaders-have-long-worried-aides-leaving-some-genuinely-horrified/2019/10/04/537cc7a8-e602-11e9-a331-2df12d56a80b_story.html" target="_blank">NOT PUTIN!</a></p><p>As we said, this list is in no way exhaustive. It's just what we've cobbled together over the course of a couple hours. </p><h2>IN SUMMARY AND IN CONCLUSION!</h2><p>As a final answer to Chris Stewart's very stupid question, we dunno, but Trump's response to the intel briefing y'all are all so mad about was to <a href="https://www.wonkette.com/russia-trying-to-re-elect-trump-and-he-is-mad-that-democrats-found-out" target="_blank">fire the acting director of national intelligence</a> and install a loyalist, because he was mad Democrats and thereby the American people might find out Russia was stroking his electoral balls again. That might seem like a clue as to whose side he's really on, and why Putin might want to keep his American presidential asset right where he is. </p><p>You know, just maybe, if we were to hazard a wild guess.</p><p>[<a href="https://www.nytimes.com/2020/02/20/us/politics/russian-interference-trump-democrats.html" target="_blank">New York Times</a>]</p><p><strong>Follow Evan Hurst on Twitter <a href="http://twitter.com/evanhurst" target="_blank">RIGHT HERE, DO IT RIGHT HERE!</a></strong></p><p><strong>Wonkette is fully funded by readers like YOU. If you love Wonkette, SUPPORT WONKETTE FINANCIALLY.</strong></p><p></p><form name="donation" method="post" class="donation-form"><p class="subheadline">How often would you like to donate?</p><div class="form-row row--plan"><label class="plan-type__label"><input type="radio" name="plan_type" value="once" class="plan-type" required="" checked> Just once
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