Right Wing Extremism
Michele Bachmann Knows How To Fix COVID, Because Yeah She Does
Why wouldn't she?
June 30, 2020 09:30 AM
Awwww, we miss Michele Bachmann. Her batshit was so pure, she shone so brightly, her time ended prematurely.
She's not dead or anything, she was just away from our radar, not mattering. But NOW she matters again, because she not only solved the COVID-19 crisis and laid out the path forward, she also seems to have an explanation for why people are taking to the streets protesting cops murdering Black people. Surprise, none of these things are happening for the reasons you think.
Pandemic caused by big virus? NO.
People angry because cops murdering Black people? NO.
God mad? YES GOD MAD. God mad ... at the Trump administration? YES GOD MAD AT THE TRUMP ADMINISTRATION. God mad specifically at Jared Kushner?
Yes!
Not what we thought it was going to be, to be honest.
<p> Bachmann doesn't say Jared's name specifically, but she is talking about God being extremely displeased with Jared's work product, whether or not she realizes it. (Join the fuckin' club, LORD.)</p><p>As Right Wing Watch <a href="https://www.rightwingwatch.org/post/michele-bachmann-blames-trump-administration-middle-east-peace-plan-for-covid-19-civil-unrest/" target="_blank">reminds us,</a> Bachmann is one of those nuttier-than-squirrel-turd people who is very obsessed with the End Times and sees Bible prophecy clues everywhere she looks. And she knows that if you <a href="https://www.rightwingwatch.org/post/michele-bachmann-god-will-deny-trump-a-second-term-if-he-pressures-israel/" target="_blank">do any malarkey</a> to Israel, that makes God MAD. Jared Kushner is the person in the Trump administration who's <a href="https://www.wonkette.com/guess-who-wrote-trumps-very-stupid-bad-awful-racist-numbnuts-coronavirus-address-no-you-guess" target="_blank">tasked with</a> failing to achieve Middle East peace, just like he is tasked with failing to fix opioids and failing to get his father-in-law re-elected. </p><p>And, well, Jared <a href="https://www.wonkette.com/kushner-warns-palestinian-leaders-not-to-make-him-read-a-26th-book-about-this-crap" target="_blank">released a Middle East plan</a> back in January, and apparently ever since God has been up there on his throne just fuckin' PISSED, man. (You wouldn't like God when he's pissed. Read the book of Job. He's kinda Trumpy, TBH.)</p><p>Right Wing Watch has the <a href="https://www.rightwingwatch.org/post/michele-bachmann-blames-trump-administration-middle-east-peace-plan-for-covid-19-civil-unrest/" target="_blank">whole transcript,</a> because <em>buuuuuugfuuuuuuuuuuuck</em>:</p><p class="shortcode-media shortcode-media-soundcloud">
<iframe src="https://w.soundcloud.com/player/?url=https://soundcloud.com/rightwingwatch/rww-news-michele-bachmann-says-the-us-is-experiencing-distress-because-of-trumps-peace-plan" width="100%" height="480" frameborder="0" scrolling="no" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="ce6adce504dc7f72dbff8579a1becc4d"></iframe>
</p><p><br></p><blockquote><strong>BACHMANN: </strong>On Jan, 28, 2020, a plan was revealed that envisioned a dividing of the covenant land and a division of Jerusalem. Since that time, we have seen nothing but distress. The Bible speaks of that in Zechariah: <strong>Anyone who burdens themselves with a division of Jerusalem will be cut themselves upon a rock.</strong> Nations will be destroyed, Isaiah 60 says, if they do not follow the word of God. Messiah will judge nations, Psalms 2:12 says. It's very clear. That's why this warning was given to various high officials prior to the release of this plan. Now warnings are given again that perhaps this distress could be removed from our nation if we would withdraw the maps in this plan that envision the division of the biblical land and the division of Jerusalem. [...]<br><br>Jerusalem is an eternal, undivided city and must never be divided. <strong>I would call upon the White House to withdraw that plan, and it just may be that the Lord and his grace and mercy may likely lift the distress upon our land even in our time and resume his hand of favor, which was so clear and evident until January 28 of 2020.</strong> That is my request. That is my prayer. I love our president. I pray for him daily. I just ask the question: In light of scripture, in light of the day that we live in, <strong>could it be that this distress could have in part been caused by this? And could it be that this distress would be relieved if action would be taken to come into conformity with a clear word of God?</strong></blockquote><p>OK, wait, Michele Bachmann, all of this is — we hate to say it — <em>a li'l bit kookypants</em>.</p><p>Yes, the Trump administration <a href="https://www.theguardian.com/world/2020/jan/28/donald-trump-middle-east-peace-plan-israel-netanyahu-palestinians" target="_blank">unveiled</a> a "peace plan" in January, and it was mostly crap. And yes, Jared Kushner and his people wrote it. <em>But we are talking about Jared Kushner here</em>. Good Lord, and we mean that literally, does anybody think any deity is sitting up there in the heavenlies, monitoring activity on Earth and going "OH WHOA HEY WHOA HEY, JARED ANNOUNCED A THING! THIS CHANGES EVERYTHING! GET ME MY ROBE AND MY WIZARD HAT!"</p><p>Like God's up there stomping around — hey, maybe that is what all those firework sounds are! — like "I am mad enough to COVID the shit out of everyone right now!" Because ... <em>Jared Kushner</em> ... made some maps? And if Jared would put the maps away, God will stop boo-hooing?</p><p>No.</p><p>If Michele Bachmann's God gets his royal panties in a wad because Jared, the crown prince of failing, came up with a "plan" to "do a thing," if Michele Bachmann's God thinks Jared having a "plan" is going to result in any kind of action, then <em>Michele Bachmann's God is not very omnipotent, is he</em><em>?</em></p><p>Michele Bachmann, you have not thought this through, but Wonkette did want to say hi and we hope you are well and clownishly batshit as usual. </p><p>Having confirmed that, we will now back away slowly.</p><p>[<a href="https://www.rightwingwatch.org/post/michele-bachmann-blames-trump-administration-middle-east-peace-plan-for-covid-19-civil-unrest/" target="_blank">Right Wing Watch</a>]</p><p><strong>Follow Evan Hurst on Twitter <a href="http://twitter.com/evanhurst" target="_blank">RIGHT HERE, DO IT RIGHT HERE!</a></strong></p><p><strong>Wonkette is fully funded by readers like YOU. If you love Wonkette, WE NEED YOUR LOVE GIFTS TO KEEP US GOING.</strong><br></p><p></p><p><a href="https://amzn.to/33mKzZe" target="_blank">Do your Amazon shopping through this link, because reasons</a>.</p><p></p><p></p><form name="donation" method="post" class="donation-form"><p class="subheadline">How often would you like to donate?</p><div class="form-row row--plan"><label class="plan-type__label"><input type="radio" name="plan_type" value="once" class="plan-type" required="" checked> Just once
</label><label class="plan-type__label"><input type="radio" name="plan_type" value="monthly" class="plan-type" required=""> Monthly
</label></div><div class="form-row row--amount"><p class="subheadline">Select an amount (USD)</p><label class="amount__label"><input type="radio" name="amount" class="amount" value="200" data-value="2.00" data-amount="Two Dollars">$2</label><label class="amount__label"><input type="radio" name="amount" class="amount" value="2500" data-value="25.00" data-amount="Twenty Five Dollars">$25</label><label class="amount__label"><input type="radio" name="amount" class="amount" value="500" data-value="5.00" data-amount="Five Dollars">$5</label><label class="amount__label"><input type="radio" name="amount" class="amount" value="5000" data-value="50.00" data-amount="Fifty Dollars">$50</label><label class="amount__label"><input type="radio" name="amount" class="amount" value="1000" data-value="10.00" data-amount="Ten Dollars" checked>$10</label><label class="amount__label"><input type="radio" name="amount" class="amount" value="10000" data-value="100.00" data-amount="One Hundred Dollars">$100</label><label class="amount__label"><input type="radio" name="amount" class="amount" value="1500" data-value="15.00" data-amount="Fifteen Dollars">$15</label><label class="amount__label"><input type="radio" name="amount" class="amount" value="50000" data-value="500.00" data-amount="Five Hundred Dollars">$500</label><label class="amount__label"><input type="radio" name="amount" class="amount" value="2000" data-value="20.00" data-amount="Twenty Dollars">$20</label><label class="amount__label"><input type="radio" name="amount" class="amount" value="100000" data-value="1000.00" data-amount="One Thousand Dollars">$1000</label></div><div class="row--buttons"><button type="submit" class="donate-button" data-payment="strip"><img src="https://assets.rbl.ms/18208879/2000x.png" alt="Credit cards" class="donate-button__img"></button><button type="submit" class="donate-button" data-payment="paypal"><img src="https://assets.rbl.ms/18208880/2000x.png" alt="PayPal" class="donate-button__img"></button></div></form><p></p>
Keep reading...
Show less
Right Wing Extremism
Happy Father's Day, Here's Trump Trade Idiot Peter Navarro!
It's Your Sunday Show Rundown.
June 22, 2020 10:21 AM
There are normal ways to celebrate Father's Day: Buy Dad a tie or some tools or a nice steak dinner, for instance. The Sunday shows, however, decided to have some lying Trump administration motherfuckers (and one appeaser) come by to sell their usual brand of bullshit.
For instance, Trump trade adviser and assclown Peter Navarro. Here is a brief recap of Navarro's "credentials":
Navarro appeared on CNN's "State Of The Union" with Jake Tapper, where Tapper asked him about Trump's failed Tulsa rally. Specifically one key moment: Trump "joking" about slowing down COVID-19 testing to help him politically.
Jake Tapper pushes back on White House adviser's coronavirus claim www.youtube.com
NAVARRO: You know that was tongue in cheek. Come on now. Come on now. That was tongue in cheek, please.
TAPPER: I don't know that it was -- I don't know that it was tongue in cheek at all.
NAVARRO: I know it was tongue in cheek. That's news for you, tongue in cheek.
TAPPER: He has said similar things for months.
NAVARRO: OK?
TAPPER: But he has said similar things for months, that he's... Go ahead.
NAVARRO: We've got over 30 million people unemployed, and we have seen over 100,000 people die because of the China Wuhan virus. Let's talk about some serious issues, Jake. I don't -- I don't want to go there. I think there are some really important things. I will break a little news for you, if you want. Can I...
TAPPER: I think testing is a very serious issue. I'm not the one making jokes about it. You're the one that said the president was being...
NAVARRO: Come on. It was a light moment, OK?
TAPPER: … the president was being tongue in cheek.
I mean who among us hasn't joked about continuing to fail at a pandemic response that has killed thousands of Americans? Let he who has not sacrificed the population for political gain cast the first stone, we guess.
<p>
But Navarro was not done putting his tongue on Trump's cheek on national TV. Navarro tried to change the subject to shit on Old Walrus-Stache John Bolton, but Tapper was not gonna let the lame excuse about testing slide.
</p><blockquote>
<strong>TAPPER</strong>: I want to get to Bolton in a second.
But I still want to talk about the pandemic for a second. Fine, you think it's tongue in cheek.
<br> <br>
<strong>NAVARRO</strong>: Sure. That was a light moment for him.
<br> <br>
<strong>TAPPER</strong>: I'm saying, 120,000, almost, Americans are dead.
<br>
<strong>NAVARRO</strong>: That was a light moment him in a rally.
<br> <br>
<strong>TAPPER</strong>: Well, I'm not...
<br> <br>
<strong>NAVARRO</strong>: OK?
<br> <br>
<strong>TAPPER</strong>: I'm not sure that -- I'm not sure that a deadly pandemic, where almost 120,000 Americans -- are really a good subject for a light moment.
</blockquote><p>
Tapper then asked Navarro about CDC guidelines the Trump administration routinely ignores. Navarro answered dismissively only to be hammered by Tapper:</p><blockquote>
<strong>NAVARRO</strong>: Jake, you know this is not my lane.
[…]
<br> <br>
<strong>TAPPER</strong>: So, you say it's not your lane, sir.
<br> <br>
<strong>NAVARRO</strong>: It's not my lane. It's not my lane. I can wax eloquent on all sorts of questions.
<br> <br>
<strong>TAPPER</strong>: But you wrote a memo.
<br> <br>
<strong>NAVARRO</strong>: No -- sure. Go ahead.
<br> <br>
<strong>TAPPER</strong>: Well, you wrote a memo on February 23 warning the administration -- and I give you credit for this -- warning the administration to take this more seriously.
</blockquote><p>
This example right here is why even when one of Trump's stooges says or does the right thing, the media and Dems should not overpraise. Navarro is a hack who <em>once</em> <a href="https://www.wonkette.com/dr-rick-brights-whistleblower-complaint-on-f-cked-trump-hhs-coronavirus-response-will-leave-you-shook" target="_blank">wrote a memo,</a> in a moment of clarity, about the seriousness of the pandemic, but he will burn down any credibility (however slight) at the altar of the Narcissist-In-Chief. </p><p>More evidence of that was Navarro's hate for China manifesting later in the intereview:
</p><blockquote>
<strong>NAVARRO</strong>: We're a lot more prepared under this president than we were when China foisted this on us to begin with. And let's not forget that, Jake. <strong>China created this pandemic. They hid the virus. They created that virus.</strong> And they sent over hundreds of thousands of Chinese citizens here to spread that around and around the world.
</blockquote><p>
This was such a baffling accusatory statement without proof, Tapper actually had to have Navarro clarify it. Navarro then merely broke out his thesaurus to find a similar phrase:
</p><blockquote>
<strong>TAPPER</strong>: I just want to ask about something you said. Did you say China created this virus? Did I hear you wrong?<br>
<strong>NAVARRO</strong>: You did not hear me wrong.
That -- that virus was a product of the Chinese Communist Party. And until we get some information about what happened in those labs, or what happened in that wet market, we know that that virus was spawned in China. That is what I mean, spawned in China.
<br> <br>
<strong>TAPPER</strong>: But you think it was purposely -- purposefully, purposefully created?<br><br>
<strong>NAVARRO</strong>: In fact -- yes, that's an open question.
</blockquote><p>
After a little pushback, Navarro went full "mask off" xenophobe about his hate for China
</p><blockquote>
<strong>NAVARRO</strong>: Guilty until proven innocent, in my judgment.
Well, that's an open question. I did not say that. Roll the tape back. What I said was that virus came out of China. The Chinese Communist Party is responsible for it.
And, as far as I'm concerned, it...<br>
<br>
<strong>TAPPER</strong>: Well, you said they created it, right?
<br> <br>
<strong>NAVARRO</strong>: Well, spawned. Let us say spawned.
And it's an open question as to how that -- how that happened, OK? But in terms of the code of justice, I'm a Napoleonic code of justice for the Chinese Communist Party [<em>sic</em>]. They are guilty until proven innocent. […] They spawned the virus in China. They did it for two months, and they killed over 100,000 Americans.
</blockquote><p>
Because why blame the failure on the idiot who wants to "slow testing" or couldn't respond properly to a pandemic like most other countries when instead we can blame someone else???</p><p>
We'll conclude with a bit on South Carolina GOP Senator Tim Scott on ABC's "This Week." We devoted a <a href="https://www.wonkette.com/tim-scott-out-clarence-thomases-ben-carson-on-racism" target="_blank">full post to Scott</a> this morning, but I wanted to point out two moments.
</p><p>
First:
</p><div id="85b05" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="827b70173e5b1e75d3ba14268c3c6604"><blockquote class="twitter-tweet twitter-custom-tweet" data-twitter-tweet-id="1274695976385753089" data-partner="rebelmouse"><div style="margin:1em 0">“I do wish that Mr. Bolton would have come in to the House under oath and testified,” Sen. Tim Scott tells @jonkarl… https://t.co/tE0TgDItlm</div> — This Week (@This Week)<a href="https://twitter.com/ThisWeekABC/statuses/1274695976385753089">1592746178.0</a></blockquote></div><p>
If only Tim Scott would have had a moment, as a senator, during said impeachment to vote for Bolton to testify. Oh right, he did and chose not to.</p><p>
Lastly, this specific policy proposal:
</p><div id="2a145" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="afe38db32a1a6e6231d9d5d97f9902b3"><blockquote class="twitter-tweet twitter-custom-tweet" data-twitter-tweet-id="1274702178817642498" data-partner="rebelmouse"><div style="margin:1em 0">Sen. Tim Scott says it's “important" to leverage federal resources to "compel" law enforcement "towards the directi… https://t.co/2l0SZykPt5</div> — This Week (@This Week)<a href="https://twitter.com/ThisWeekABC/statuses/1274702178817642498">1592747656.0</a></blockquote></div><p>
A "Defund The Police" by any other name still means the same thing! But it's not first or last time the GOP will oppose a policy they agree with just because liberals proposed it.
</p><p class="shortcode-media shortcode-media-rebelmouse-image">
<a href="https://media1.giphy.com/media/fYHG4hsnqW9Cqzsa9p/giphy.gif?cid=2fb0ca76fcf36ee233de960bada6532e211d125c3b090188&rid=giphy.gif" target="_blank"><img type="lazy-image" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yMzQwNzYxMC9vcmlnaW4uZ2lmIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTYwMTY3NjI4Nn0.6CpIGVB8HGKjeN3N1Xd0ZXePVWUGhqcYmRyxv23zMEY/img.gif?width=980" id="782a4" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="b8823009fad26fc0fa58c967fb9248fd" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image"></a>
<small class="image-media media-photo-credit" placeholder="Add Photo Credit...">
<a href="https://giphy.com/gifs/IntoAction-black-lives-matter-african-american-fYHG4hsnqW9Cqzsa9p" target="_blank">Giphy</a>
</small>
</p><p>
Have a Week!
</p><p><strong>Wonkette is fully funded by readers like you! Click below to fund us!</strong></p><p></p><form name="donation" method="post" class="donation-form"><p class="subheadline">How often would you like to donate?</p><div class="form-row row--plan"><label class="plan-type__label"><input type="radio" name="plan_type" value="once" class="plan-type" required="" checked> Just once
</label><label class="plan-type__label"><input type="radio" name="plan_type" value="monthly" class="plan-type" required=""> Monthly
</label></div><div class="form-row row--amount"><p class="subheadline">Select an amount (USD)</p><label class="amount__label"><input type="radio" name="amount" class="amount" value="200" data-value="2.00" data-amount="Two Dollars">$2</label><label class="amount__label"><input type="radio" name="amount" class="amount" value="2500" data-value="25.00" data-amount="Twenty Five Dollars">$25</label><label class="amount__label"><input type="radio" name="amount" class="amount" value="500" data-value="5.00" data-amount="Five Dollars">$5</label><label class="amount__label"><input type="radio" name="amount" class="amount" value="5000" data-value="50.00" data-amount="Fifty Dollars">$50</label><label class="amount__label"><input type="radio" name="amount" class="amount" value="1000" data-value="10.00" data-amount="Ten Dollars" checked>$10</label><label class="amount__label"><input type="radio" name="amount" class="amount" value="10000" data-value="100.00" data-amount="One Hundred Dollars">$100</label><label class="amount__label"><input type="radio" name="amount" class="amount" value="1500" data-value="15.00" data-amount="Fifteen Dollars">$15</label><label class="amount__label"><input type="radio" name="amount" class="amount" value="50000" data-value="500.00" data-amount="Five Hundred Dollars">$500</label><label class="amount__label"><input type="radio" name="amount" class="amount" value="2000" data-value="20.00" data-amount="Twenty Dollars">$20</label><label class="amount__label"><input type="radio" name="amount" class="amount" value="100000" data-value="1000.00" data-amount="One Thousand Dollars">$1000</label></div><div class="row--buttons"><button type="submit" class="donate-button" data-payment="strip"><img src="https://assets.rbl.ms/18208879/2000x.png" alt="Credit cards" class="donate-button__img"></button><button type="submit" class="donate-button" data-payment="paypal"><img src="https://assets.rbl.ms/18208880/2000x.png" alt="PayPal" class="donate-button__img"></button></div></form><p></p><p></p><p><a href="https://amzn.to/33mKzZe" target="_blank">Do your Amazon shopping through this link, because reasons</a>.</p><p></p>
Keep reading...
Show less
Trump
John Bolton Book Excerpts Are Dropping, And They Are BUGF*CK
Under the bus everyone goes, JOHN BOLTON DID NOTHING WRONG!
June 17, 2020 04:39 PM
You up on the whole legal fight over John Bolton's book? (Wonkette kickback linky here!) Make sure you get current on that, because ready or not, HERE COME THE BUGFUCK EXCERPTS.
We had been hearing reports that Bolton just really thought the House impeachment managers did a dereliction of duty by focusing on Trump trying to force Ukraine to help him steal the 2020 election. Why? Because, according to Bolton, they should have investigated him for doing that like A HUNDRED ELEVENTY BILLION times. That really makes us want to kick Bolton in the dick, because of how he could have totally gone to the impeachment hearings and said that to Adam Schiff's face.
But hey, let bygones be mustache rides, as the old saying goes.
<h2>'GIIIIIIIINA IF YOU'RE LISTENING!</h2><p>The <em>Washington Post</em> <a href="https://www.washingtonpost.com/politics/trump-asked-chinas-xi-to-help-him-win-reelection-according-to-bolton-book/2020/06/17/d4ea601c-ad7a-11ea-868b-93d63cd833b2_story.html" target="_blank">starts its report</a> on Bolton's book with a heartwarming anecdote about Trump trying to get Chinese President Xi Jinping to help steal him the election:</p><blockquote>During a one-on-one meeting at the June 2019 Group of 20 summit in Japan, Xi complained to Trump about China critics in the United States. But Bolton writes in a book scheduled to be released next week that "Trump immediately assumed Xi meant the Democrats. Trump said approvingly that there was great hostility among the Democrats.<br><br>"He then, stunningly, turned the conversation to the coming U.S. presidential election, alluding to China's economic capability to affect the ongoing campaigns, pleading with Xi to ensure he'd win," Bolton writes. "He stressed the importance of farmers, and increased Chinese purchases of soybeans and wheat in the electoral outcome. I would print Trump's exact words but the government's prepublication review process has decided otherwise."</blockquote><p>It's funny because during the Ukraine Trump impeachment, Trump <a href="https://www.wonkette.com/trump-would-like-to-add-gina-to-his-articles-of-impeachment-please" target="_blank">literally did</a> a "GIIIIIIINA IF YOU'RE LISTENING," while standing on the White House lawn, asking China to investigate the Bidens for him. It's also funny because last year Hillary Clinton <a href="https://www.wonkette.com/china-if-youre-listening" target="_blank">went on the Rachel Maddow Show</a> and said a hypothetical, to try to illustrate how bugfuck Trump's election-stealing crimes are, asking what if the Democrats said "GIIIIIIINA IF YOU'RE LISTENING" and asked China to get Trump's tax returns.</p><p>That was May of 2019 when she made that joke on the Maddow show. Trump went ahead and tried to make sure China helped him instead in June 2019. </p><p>The <em>Wall Street Journal</em> has <a href="https://www.wsj.com/articles/john-bolton-the-scandal-of-trumps-china-policy-11592419564" target="_blank">that full section</a> about Trump trying to get Xi to help steal him the election, if you'd like to read it. It also has this lovely anecdote about how Trump told Xi that building concentration camps to imprison Uighur Muslims in was great, just great:</p><blockquote>At the opening dinner of the Osaka G-20 meeting in June 2019, with only interpreters present, Xi had explained to Trump why he was basically building concentration camps in Xinjiang. According to our interpreter, Trump said that Xi should go ahead with building the camps, which Trump thought was exactly the right thing to do. The National Security Council's top Asia staffer, Matthew Pottinger, told me that Trump said something very similar during his November 2017 trip to China.</blockquote><p>Feel free right here to insert your own stomach-churning joke about how it's pretty great Trump wasn't around to give Hitler any advice back in the day!</p><p>Anyway, Bolton's book sounds like it is chock-full of instances of Trump pretty much only and always focusing on getting friendly dictators to help him steal his next election. From the <em>WSJ</em> excerpt:</p><blockquote>Trump commingled the personal and the national not just on trade questions but across the whole field of national security. I am hard-pressed to identify any significant Trump decision during my White House tenure that wasn't driven by reelection calculations.</blockquote><p>And according to Bolton's book (GOLLY GOD, this would have made for good IMPEACHMENT TESTIMONY, you fucking motherfucker John Bolton), Trump's friendly dictators used that, and Trump's own dumbass preening stupidity, to influence him. <br></p><h2>RUSSIA IF YOU'RE LISTENING!</h2><p>One time in May 2019, Trump and Vladimir Putin were chitty-chattin' on the old Obamaphone, talkin' about Venezuela, and Putin said opposition leader Juan Guaidó is just like Hillary Clinton. Bolton said that was just some <em>really</em> good propaganda, from Putin! Did it convince Trump to back Nicholas Maduro instead? Yes, writes Bolton, it "largely persuaded" Trump.</p><p>Indeed, the <em>Post</em>'s account of Bolton's book suggests that Bolton lays out a consistent pattern "of a president who is impulsive, churlish and consistently opposed to U.S. policy designed to discourage Russian aggression and to sanction Putin's malign behavior." </p><h2>TURKEY IF YOU'RE LISTENING!</h2><p>Here's another example of a dictator dictating to the American president what he must do: Recep Tayyip Erdogan, the Turkish dictator, was trying to get Trump to get the Southern District of New York (SDNY) to stop investigating "a Turkish firm" — Halkbank, it would appear — and Trump was like oh sure, you bet, I will make the SDNY stop investigating the Turkish state-owned bank for violating US sanctions on Iran. And why was Trump so very OK with that?</p><blockquote>"Trump then told Erdogan he would take care of things, explaining that the Southern District prosecutors were not his people, but were Obama people, a problem that would be fixed when they were replaced by his people," Bolton writes.</blockquote><p>Because OBAMAGATE! This confirms a story <a href="https://www.wonkette.com/bill-barr-ratf-cks-the-doj-for-trumps-pal-erdogan-because-what-are-friends-for-right" target="_blank">we already knew,</a> because after that, Trump did indeed HEREBY ORDER Attorney General Bill Barr to make that case against Halkbank disappear. </p><h2>JARED IF YOU'RE LISTENING!</h2><p>In another section of the book, Bolton writes about how Fucking Jared apparently has a special "son-in-law channel" to do foreign policy with Turkey, because of how the finance minister of Turkey is Erdogan's son-in-law.<em></em></p><blockquote>"I briefed Pompeo and Mnuchin on this new 'son-in-law channel' and they both exploded." Pompeo was furious, Bolton writes, "because this was one more example of Kushner's doing international negotiations he shouldn't have been doing (along with the never quite ready Middle East peace plan.)"</blockquote><p><em>Whew</em>. This book throws fuckin' everybody under the bus. More Jared, this time doing Mexican foreign policy when he wasn't supposed to be doing Mexican foreign policy:<br></p><blockquote>"Why is Jared calling Mexicans?" [John] Kelly asked loudly, according to the book. "Because I asked him to. How else are we going to stop the caravans?" Trump responded.</blockquote><p><em>Whew</em>.</p><h2>BILL BARR AND MIKE POMPEO AND JOHN KELLY IF YOU'RE LISTENING! </h2><p><span></span>Speaking of buses and the one that this book apparently is warming up for Bill Barr, the <em>Post</em>'s account says Bolton was so freaked out by Trump's behavior that he and Barr met in 2019 to talk about it and Barr was also very worried about (the appearance of) it. We bet.<br></p><p>Moreover, reportedly Bolton, John Kelly, and also Secretary of State Mike Pompeo "all considered resigning in disgust or frustration" at times, as the <em>Post</em> puts it. </p><blockquote>"What if we have a real crisis like 9/11 with the way he makes decisions?" Kelly is quoted as asking at one point as he considers resigning.<br><br><span></span>"He second-guessed people's motives, saw conspiracies behind rocks, and remained stunningly uninformed on how to run the White House, let alone the huge federal government," Bolton writes ... </blockquote><p>One time Pompeo and Bolton were on the same call with Trump and the South Korean president, and Pompeo said he was "having a cardiac arrest in Saudi Arabia" listening to it. Bolton agreed it was very awful and bad, and called the phone call a "near-death experience."</p><p>The <em>New York Times</em> <a href="https://www.nytimes.com/2020/06/17/us/politics/bolton-book-trump-impeached.html" target="_blank">has the excerpt</a> that really throws Pompeo under the bus, though:</p><blockquote>During Mr. Trump's 2018 meeting with North Korea's leader, according to the book, Secretary of State Mike Pompeo slipped Mr. Bolton a note disparaging the president, saying, "He is so full of shit."</blockquote><p>Wonder if "he is so full of shit" is the classified information the White House was trying so hard to keep secret. Oh well, we know now!</p><h2>IS ANYBODY LISTENING? ARE YOU THERE, GOD? IT'S ME, DONALD!</h2><p>And then of course, there are just the OMG DONALD TRUMP IS SO FUCKING STUPID moments in these excerpts. Like the time Trump asked John Kelly if Finland was part of Russia. And the time he wouldn't release a statement about the 30th anniversary of Tiananmen Square, because it was "15 years ago."</p><p>And these from the <em>Post</em>, which take "fucking stupid" to the level of "stupidest fucking wannabe dictator ever":</p><blockquote>Trump said invading Venezuela would be "cool" and that the South American nation was "really part of the United States." [...] And Trump told Xi that Americans were clamoring for him to change the constitutional rules to serve more than two terms, according to the book.</blockquote><p>Yep, you betcha. Very cool, very legal, all of that. </p><blockquote>He also describes a summer 2019 meeting in New Jersey where Trump says journalists should be jailed so they have to divulge their sources: "These people should be executed. They are scumbags," Trump said, according to Bolton's account.</blockquote><p>That's right, Trump said journalists should be executed, according to Bolton. </p><h2>UKRAINE IF YOU'RE LISTENING!</h2><p>Finally, Bolton writes extensively about the impeachment case against Trump, and seems to say Congress got his crimes against Ukraine just right. He just thinks the House did a really bad job at impeaching Trump, should have gone slower, and again, should have focused on <em>so much more</em>. From the <em>Times</em>:</p><blockquote>On Aug. 20, Mr. Bolton writes, Mr. Trump "said he wasn't in favor of sending [Ukraine its aid] until all the Russia-investigation materials related to Clinton and Biden had been turned over." Mr. Bolton writes that he, Mr. Pompeo and Defense Secretary Mark T. Esper tried eight to 10 times to get Mr. Trump to release the aid.</blockquote><p><span></span>So there's that.</p><p>Hey, remember how badly Republican congressmen and senators <em>did not</em> want to hear from John Bolton? We think we are starting to see why. </p><p>Anyway, there's more where this came from, but we don't have it yet. </p><p>But you should know that the main idea, at least the one John Bolton wants you to take away, is that John Bolton did nothing wrong. The main idea Wonkette wants you to take away, on the other hand, is that John Bolton deserves to be kicked in the dick, and that if this book ends up taking down both him <em>and</em> Trump, we'll consider that a win-win for America.</p><p>The end.</p><p>OPEN THREAD! </p><p>[<a href="https://www.washingtonpost.com/politics/trump-asked-chinas-xi-to-help-him-win-reelection-according-to-bolton-book/2020/06/17/d4ea601c-ad7a-11ea-868b-93d63cd833b2_story.html" target="_blank">Washington Post</a> / <a href="https://www.nytimes.com/2020/06/17/us/politics/bolton-book-trump-impeached.html" target="_blank">New York Times</a> / <a href="https://www.wsj.com/articles/john-bolton-the-scandal-of-trumps-china-policy-11592419564" target="_blank">Wall Street Journal</a>]</p><p><strong>Follow Evan Hurst on Twitter <a href="http://twitter.com/evanhurst" target="_blank">RIGHT HERE, DO IT RIGHT HERE!</a></strong></p><p><strong>Wonkette is fully funded by readers like YOU. If you love Wonkette, WE NEED YOUR LOVE GIFTS TO KEEP US GOING.</strong><br></p><p></p><p><a href="https://amzn.to/33mKzZe" target="_blank">Do your Amazon shopping through this link, because reasons</a>.</p><p></p><p></p><form name="donation" method="post" class="donation-form"><p class="subheadline">How often would you like to donate?</p><div class="form-row row--plan"><label class="plan-type__label"><input type="radio" name="plan_type" value="once" class="plan-type" required="" checked> Just once
</label><label class="plan-type__label"><input type="radio" name="plan_type" value="monthly" class="plan-type" required=""> Monthly
</label></div><div class="form-row row--amount"><p class="subheadline">Select an amount (USD)</p><label class="amount__label"><input type="radio" name="amount" class="amount" value="200" data-value="2.00" data-amount="Two Dollars">$2</label><label class="amount__label"><input type="radio" name="amount" class="amount" value="2500" data-value="25.00" data-amount="Twenty Five Dollars">$25</label><label class="amount__label"><input type="radio" name="amount" class="amount" value="500" data-value="5.00" data-amount="Five Dollars">$5</label><label class="amount__label"><input type="radio" name="amount" class="amount" value="5000" data-value="50.00" data-amount="Fifty Dollars">$50</label><label class="amount__label"><input type="radio" name="amount" class="amount" value="1000" data-value="10.00" data-amount="Ten Dollars" checked>$10</label><label class="amount__label"><input type="radio" name="amount" class="amount" value="10000" data-value="100.00" data-amount="One Hundred Dollars">$100</label><label class="amount__label"><input type="radio" name="amount" class="amount" value="1500" data-value="15.00" data-amount="Fifteen Dollars">$15</label><label class="amount__label"><input type="radio" name="amount" class="amount" value="50000" data-value="500.00" data-amount="Five Hundred Dollars">$500</label><label class="amount__label"><input type="radio" name="amount" class="amount" value="2000" data-value="20.00" data-amount="Twenty Dollars">$20</label><label class="amount__label"><input type="radio" name="amount" class="amount" value="100000" data-value="1000.00" data-amount="One Thousand Dollars">$1000</label></div><div class="row--buttons"><button type="submit" class="donate-button" data-payment="strip"><img src="https://assets.rbl.ms/18208879/2000x.png" alt="Credit cards" class="donate-button__img"></button><button type="submit" class="donate-button" data-payment="paypal"><img src="https://assets.rbl.ms/18208880/2000x.png" alt="PayPal" class="donate-button__img"></button></div></form><p></p>
Keep reading...
Show less
White House
Pompeo Denies Employees Were 'Walking My Dog To Sell Arms To My Dry Cleaner,' So It's Cool, Right?
LOL, no.
May 20, 2020 12:10 PM
The Griftapalooza continues apace! Today's hog at the trough is Secretary of State Mike Pompeo, who was apparently using the State Department as a venue for a series of fancy dinner parties. Were you hoping to subsidize Mike Pompeo's political ambitions by hosting rich and powerful people for a little face time over cocktails and dinner at hundreds of taxpayer dollars a plate? Then today is your lucky day!
NBC reports that Pompeo and his wife, Susan, regularly hosted what they called "Madison Dinners" at the State Department, named for James Madison, the fourth president and fifth secretary of State. Subtle, huh?
Luminaries arrive at 6 to be escorted via private elevator for a guided tour of Diplomatic Reception Rooms, described as "a museum of U.S. diplomacy that includes the Benjamin Franklin State Dining Room, the Martha Washington Ladies' Lounge and the John Quincy Adams State Drawing Room." Then a photographer captures a commemorative photo in front of the fire as a harpist tinkles out background music during half an hour of cocktails curated to reflect the evening's theme, perhaps a drink "paying homage to the time of James and Dolley Madison, or French 75 cocktails might be served up in honor of Mardi Gras." Then the secretary and his wife start the sit-down dinner with a toast, because, after all, it's all about them.
<p>After an hour or two of "building relationships and sharing intellectual thought to enrich our country and to further our diplomatic goals," the VIP guests are sent home with parting gifts of a journal and a pen, both emblazoned with the Madison Dinner logos. Just $41.75 in taxpayer money for the pair. What a deal!</p><p>And who are those VIPs? According to Department spokesliar Morgan Ortagus, "Invited guests have included many foreign diplomats, thought leaders, academics, government leaders at many levels, business leaders, Members of Congress and the media — each of whom has a stake in America and its leadership in the world."</p><p>Which is a weird way to to describe Dale Earnhardt, Jr., Reba McEntire, Brian Kilmeade, Karl Rove, and Chik-Fil-A CEO Dan Cathy. To be fair, Reba has a far better shot at solving middle east peace than Jared Kushner, on her worst day. But this Dan Cathy: Wasn't he, a major donor to anti-gay marriage initiatives, involved in one of former EPA head Scott Pruitt's crappy little grifts? <a href="https://www.wonkette.com/how-the-hell-is-scott-pruitt-abusing-his-office-today-hint-it-involves-eating-mor-chikin-2575570543-1" target="_blank">He was.</a> Welcome back, Dan!</p><p>NBC, which got the guest lists for the almost two dozen dinners already hosted plus events planned through October, reports that the vast majority of attendees were Republican donors or media figures who might be helpful to Pompeo's future political ambitions. Good thing those RSVPs and guest plans were routed through Susan Pompeo's personal Gmail, ensuring that she knows how to get in touch with all those VIPs later on, huh?</p><blockquote>Twenty-three percent of invitees have been associated with media or entertainment, and another 30 percent are government types: current or former officials, members of Congress and judges and their spouses. Media figures skew heavily toward conservative TV personalities, with 39 percent of them from Fox News.<br><br>Only 14 percent are diplomats or foreign officials. More than 50 ambassadors show up on the guest list, with nearly two-thirds from countries in Europe and the Middle East and smaller numbers from Asia, Latin America and Africa.</blockquote><p>What does this have to do with the mission of the State Department? Precious little! Which is why career employees and the Department's legal team were unhappy, and multiple congressional committees are currently investigating it. It's not clear whether State Department Inspector General Steve Linick, whom <a href="https://www.wonkette.com/trump-maybe-fired-state-department-ig-to-cover-up-way-more-than-mike-pompeos-dog-poop" target="_blank">Pompeo pushed out</a> last week, was also investigating it. We know that Linick was looking into possible illegal arms sales to Saudi Arabia and Pompeo's use of Department employees to run personal errands.</p><p>Or, as Pompeo <a href="https://twitter.com/kylieatwood/status/1263122528878432257?s=12" target="_blank">put it</a> at a press conference this morning, "I've seen the various stories that someone was walking my dog to sell arms to my dry cleaner. It's all just crazy." Which is <em>not</em> a denial that he stole government services by using taxpayer-funded employees to walk his dog when <a href="https://www.wonkette.com/trump-thinks-taxpayers-should-be-happy-to-pay-someone-to-do-mike-pompeos-dishes" target="_blank">Mrs. Pompeo wasn't around to do the dishes</a>, or that he contravened congressional authority to greenlight forbidden arms sales. </p><p>As for the so-called Madison dinners, NBC reports that last week Linick made a call to the Office of Protocol, which arranged them, and Pompeo demanded his ouster within two days. <em>Post hoc</em> does not <em>ergo propter hoc</em>, but it's not exactly a good look, either. </p><p>Pompeo refused to say whether he'll comply with congressional demands for information on the Linick firing by Friday. Spoiler alert ...</p><p>And, PS, mad props to NBC for the single funniest sentence we've read this week.</p><blockquote>In the opinion of a senior Trump administration official who requested anonymity out of concern for retribution, "if the president knew about any of this, he would have fired Pompeo months ago."</blockquote><p>Because if there's anyone who hates corruption, it's Donald Trump, right?</p><p>[<a href="https://www.nbcnews.com/politics/politics-news/pompeo-s-elite-taxpayer-funded-dinners-raise-new-concerns-n1210746" target="_blank">NBC</a>]</p><p><span></span><strong>Follow Liz Dye on Twitter <a href="https://twitter.com/5DollarFeminist" target="_blank">RIGHT HERE!</a></strong><br></p><p><strong>Please click here to support your Wonkette. And if you're ordering your quarantine goods on Amazon, <a href="https://amzn.to/2wbH77j" target="_blank">this is the link to do it.</a></strong></p><p></p><form name="donation" method="post" class="donation-form"><p class="subheadline">How often would you like to donate?</p><div class="form-row row--plan"><label class="plan-type__label"><input type="radio" name="plan_type" value="once" class="plan-type" required="" checked> Just once
</label><label class="plan-type__label"><input type="radio" name="plan_type" value="monthly" class="plan-type" required=""> Monthly
</label></div><div class="form-row row--amount"><p class="subheadline">Select an amount (USD)</p><label class="amount__label"><input type="radio" name="amount" class="amount" value="200" data-value="2.00" data-amount="Two Dollars">$2</label><label class="amount__label"><input type="radio" name="amount" class="amount" value="2500" data-value="25.00" data-amount="Twenty Five Dollars">$25</label><label class="amount__label"><input type="radio" name="amount" class="amount" value="500" data-value="5.00" data-amount="Five Dollars">$5</label><label class="amount__label"><input type="radio" name="amount" class="amount" value="5000" data-value="50.00" data-amount="Fifty Dollars">$50</label><label class="amount__label"><input type="radio" name="amount" class="amount" value="1000" data-value="10.00" data-amount="Ten Dollars" checked>$10</label><label class="amount__label"><input type="radio" name="amount" class="amount" value="10000" data-value="100.00" data-amount="One Hundred Dollars">$100</label><label class="amount__label"><input type="radio" name="amount" class="amount" value="1500" data-value="15.00" data-amount="Fifteen Dollars">$15</label><label class="amount__label"><input type="radio" name="amount" class="amount" value="50000" data-value="500.00" data-amount="Five Hundred Dollars">$500</label><label class="amount__label"><input type="radio" name="amount" class="amount" value="2000" data-value="20.00" data-amount="Twenty Dollars">$20</label><label class="amount__label"><input type="radio" name="amount" class="amount" value="100000" data-value="1000.00" data-amount="One Thousand Dollars">$1000</label></div><div class="row--buttons"><button type="submit" class="donate-button" data-payment="strip"><img src="https://assets.rbl.ms/18208879/2000x.png" alt="Credit cards" class="donate-button__img"></button><button type="submit" class="donate-button" data-payment="paypal"><img src="https://assets.rbl.ms/18208880/2000x.png" alt="PayPal" class="donate-button__img"></button></div></form><p></p>
Keep reading...
Show less
Newsletter
©2018 by Commie Girl Industries, Inc
