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Former Gov. Jerry Brown Running For Governor Again, Vows To Defeat Demon Sheep

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Remember this guy? Probably not, right? Well he was governor of California in the 1970s, when he was also banging the hell out of Linda Ronstadt, in a trashy apartment across the street from the governor's mansion in Sacramento. What happened to Jerry? He lost all that hair, for one thing, and he also lost the Democratic nomination to Jimmy Carter and Bill Clinton -- but he really dragged it out in '92, winning 596 delegates at the DNC that year and using his prime-time convention speech to call Clinton a piece of trash.


Brown went on to serve as mayor of Oakland and is now the attorney general in California, where he routinely launches these huge prosecutions against scumbag politicians on the take, especially the county supervisors who are basically the mafia out here. And now, maybe right now on his website, Jerry Brown is announcing his campaign for governor, again.

Besides keeping the bankrupt state free of Demon Sheep, Brown says he'll save California from shame and bankruptcy, etc. MORE LIES? Who knows, but in the 1970s he balanced the budget while expanding all kinds of social programs and the parks and education -- California was a financial disaster when he took over, because fucking Ronald Reagan had just spent eight years trying to dismantle the nation's richest, smartest state.

And because Politics is just a generational grudge match for the Elite, it was Reagan who defeated Jerry's father, Governor Pat Brown, for the governor's seat eight years before Jerry won it back.

Also, Jerry Brown is now an Old, instead of being a young dude screwing rock stars, back when we had rock stars. He would be the oldest governor in America, should he win. WORSE YET, he would be even older than the oldest example of wretched old insane people who should be euthanized, John McCain.

Experts note, however, that Jerry Brown is a fit and healthy Jesuit Zen Buddhist Monk or something, and he still has a functional brain and is therefore unlikely to get lost in the halls of the Capitol, wet himself or yell at a cloud. [SF Gate]

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Cripes the News has been awful lately! And so Yr Editrix suggested we find some good, positive news. Especially after we pitched writing a Wonket about this Mother Jones story on how global warming may be killing the whales, even though Donald Trump knows their prince. (Reply: "Nope. FOR SURE NOT THAT.") And so, as a reminder that a gooder world is possible and apropos of nothing at all that definitely didn't set your Editrix off on Twitter, where she has been stewing and bitching most shrillfully about the 2016 election and the 2020 election and any terrible similarities thereof and thereupon and therefore and thereto, we present a collection of videos of Elizabeth Warren yelling at big banks and calling for them to be broken up and their criminal operators to go to jail. Puppies and kittens will only get you so far, after all.

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