Donate

Fort Lauderdale Will Magically Fix Homelessness By Stealing Homeless People's Stuff, Basically

News

So what should you do if your town has a homelessness problem? Should you (a) increase city spending on things like affordable housing; (b) form some public-private partnerships to increase job possibilities; or (c) pass a law barring the homeless from leaving their filthy homeless possessions around anywhere? Oh fuck yes of course it is (c) for Fort Lauderdale, which is pretty certain that if you just take away the meagre possessions that homeless people have you can simultaneously strip them of the tiny amount of dignity they have left AND they homeless will just magically disappear and their city will be real pretty-like once again.


[T]he city of Ft. Lauderdale, Florida is on the cusp of passing a new regulation that would make it illegal for anyone to store their personal things on public property. Specifically, it would empower police to confiscate any personal possessions stored on public property, provided they have given the homeless person 24-hours notice. If the homeless people wish to retrieve their items, they must pay the city “reasonable charges for storage and removal of the items,” though that fee is waived if the person is able to demonstrate he or she cannot afford to pay.

We're sure that process of getting your stuff back by proving you can't afford to pay for storage for your stuff BECAUSE YOU ARE FUCKING HOMELESS will be a really smooth, easy to navigate sort of thing. Here's a thought: people with stable home situations generally do not enjoy storing their stuff somewhere random for the day, or having it hang out beside them on a sidewalk all night, because THEY HAVE HOMES TO PUT THEIR STUFF IN.

Also, too, the fact that the city is actually on record as saying that they're doing this because the city has an "interest in aesthetics" is so appalling it makes our teeth hurt. Usually cities try to be a wee bit more circumspect when kicking the poor in the balls, but not Fort Lauderdale! And hey, don't stop now, Fort Lauderdale. Kick that asshole behavior up a notch!

City staff is currently drafting ordinances that would prohibit panhandling and other solicitations at intersections, that would prohibit people from sleeping on public property, and that would restrict when, where and how often groups could set up sites to feed the homeless.

The not allowing people to set up sites to feed the homeless is the nicest touch of all, really. Man, Fort Lauderdale is going to be so fresh so clean after passing all these laws that will magically whisk the homeless people off to a magical land full of ponies and honey. And hey, if the ordinances don't work, they could always bring in that sleazebag Democrat Hawaii state representative Tom Brower, who just stone cold smashes homeless people's belongings, because this is also a super-effective and long-term way to deal with the problem of homelessness. Congrats on reaching new depths of suck, Fort Lauderdale.

[Think Progress/Sun Sentinel]

$
Donate with CC
'Bella" by Wonkette Operative 'IdiokraticSubpoenaKommissar'

Sunday already, which means a substantial portion of US America is preparing to be astonished/heartbroken/outraged by the series finale of that show with the dragons, while another portion is just going to stay off Twitter for three days because nothing will make any sense. Yr Dok Zoom tends to come very late to trendy things, so get ready for our own thoughts on the gamy thrones show sometime in about 2023, or never. But we'd be glad to tell you just how much we enjoy the brilliance and humanity of the Cartoon Network series "Steven Universe," which debuted in 2013 and we started bingeing on the Hulu last month, late again.

Hell, we still want to talk about that one Mrs Landingham episode of "The West Wing," which we first watched years after it aired (We finally bought our new used car yesterday, and know one thing: don't drive over to the White House to show it off to President Bartlet). We might even get around to reading Infinite Jest someday. We hear it has something to do with a superhero team and a guy named Thanos. So hey, let's talk about culture and missing out and patching together some knowledge of what's happening anyway.

Keep reading... Show less
$
Donate with CC
Get Me Roger Stone

Roger Stone, his wife would like you to know, is broke. And he is not dealing with it well. Once in khaki suits, gee, he looked swell, full of that yankee-doodle-dee-dum, but now no one calls him Al anymore and he has to stand on a street corner singing "Brother Can You Spare A Dime?"

Yesterday, the conservative but also kind of Never Trumper site The Bulwark revealed the details of a grifty "fundraising" plea sent out by Stone's wife Nydia, begging supporters to give money to the Stones in order to help them keep up the lifestyle to which they have become accustomed.

It was titled "I am embarrassed to write this."

"Dear Friend," begins the missive. "My husband and I have an urgent new problem and we need your help. I told my husband I was going to write you, one of his most valued supporters. I am embarrassed to write this, but I must."

"Mrs. Roger Stone" tells a tale of woe: FBI agents swooping in on them at the crack of dawn to arrest her husband, a subsequent "fake news" feeding frenzy causing friends and fans to abandon the Stones.

"He laid off all our consultants, contractors and employees, and we have 'pulled in our belts' like so many Americans in 'tight times,'" she wrote, sounding for all the world like a plucky working-class patriot, not the wife of a man who made and lost his fortune lying in the service of power.

She should have been more embarrassed.

Keep reading... Show less
$
Donate with CC
Donate

How often would you like to donate?

Select an amount (USD)

Newsletter

©2018 by Commie Girl Industries, Inc