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When Bill O'Reilly was shitcanned from Fox News this month for accidentally calling his female coworkers on the phone to masturbate at them, over and over again, for decades, to the tune of $13 million in settlements, the Powers That Be made sure his idiot racist sidekick, Jesse Watters, would have a soft landing. They gave him a slot on Fox New's hip, edgy politix show for youths, The Five.

It took less than a week for Watters to not make a blowjob joke about Ivanka Trump, into whose purty mouth he would definitely never think about sticking his penis.

Watters: Yeah it's funny, the left says they really respect women, then when given an opportunity to respect a woman like that, they boo and hiss. So I don't really get what's going on here, but uh, I really liked [mimes holding a microphone] how she was speaking into that microphone.

HM ER HUH COUPLE THINGS.

1. Jesse Watters is as stupid as the Prison Planet guy from Alex Jones's Infowars, who thought feminists were being hypocritical for not just voting with their vaginas and supporting actual fascist Marine Le Pen.

It's not disrespecting women to boo one who's claiming DONALD TRUMP is good for women, when his policies are even worse for the ladies than his common pussburgling.

presidential portrait

2. We know you don't really "get what's going on here." Because you are not really that bright.

3. Only you, Jesse Watters, or possibly any other man who's ever appeared on Fox News, could end a sentence about how other people aren't respecting women, by verbally stating disagreement with her ideas, with where you would like to stick your dick.

4. Nobody believes you were talking about her "smooth jazz radio voice." Including other Republicans.

5. Should have paid attention to what happened to President Bannon when he called his boss's daughter's husband "a cuck," meaning "a man who wants to watch dudes get it on with his boss's daughter." Fox doesn't need to keep you around for decades despite how gross you are, because you're no Bill O'Reilly, and eventually neither was he.

Rebecca Schoenkopf

Rebecca Schoenkopf is the owner, publisher, and editrix of Wonkette. She is a nice lady, SHUT UP YUH HUH. She is very tired with this fucking nonsense all of the time, and it would be terrific if you sent money to keep this bitch afloat. She is on maternity leave until 2033.

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John McCain died last year without ever being president.

He was supposed to be president. He was beloved by the media, hailed as a statesman-like old white guy who could appeal to most people, especially all those people "in the middle" who we all assume just don't really think too hard about things. He lost the presidency to a black man named Barack Obama, who half the country thought was a socialist.

Bob Dole. Al Gore. John Kerry. John McCain. Mitt Romney. America has left a bloody trail of boring-ass, "statesman-like" white guys who were "supposed" to be president. They were supported, in a milquetoast fashion, by people who assumed that they were generally unobjectionable enough for all those "other" people to vote for. And they all lost to the kind of candidates they were never supposed to lose to.

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Spinal Tap - Gimme Some Money

Some dick is suing your Wonkette! If you are able, will you please send money?

1. Pick "just once" or "monthly."

2. Pick an amount, like say "all of the money."

3. Click "paypal" if you are paypal or "stripe" if you are not paypal.

4. MONEY.

5. Carry on with your day, and with new posts below!

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