[contextly_sidebar id="ie8D1ILjXhTqaqBF9BTa8z0d8vmcQoDn"]Damn those people in Flint, Michigan, with their fake poisoned water and their evil master plans to get more of The Blacks to vote for Democrats! What? You didn't know? Let's catch you up on what's going on in Flint, home of the viscous brown pukey lead water that's trying to kill everybody.

Fox News: Words words words words THE BLACKS words words more words!

[contextly_sidebar id="1o6DH9xTusvIKdksHYef2zbYxOe1kgLR"]Did you know that, on top of declaring an emergency, the black president of black America, Barack "Black Man" Obama, is going to appoint a CZAR to help fix things? And to make it even more worser, Obama's senior adviser Valerie Jarrett, who regular people view as a lady who works for the president, but wingnuts view as one of the primary (black) henchmen for Obama's (black) agenda, has met with the mayor of Flint? And did you know this was all a ruse to gin up more votes for Democrats, from The Blacks?


HEATHER NAUERT (HOST): Class action lawsuit set to be filed against Michigan Governor Rick Snyder and other leaders in that state, as frustration over a water crisis in Flint, Michigan intensifies today. National Guard troops called in to help deliver clean water after Flint's water supply was contaminated with very dangerous lead, as any parent would know about that because that's one of the top things that doctors look for in young children.  So let's bring in Fox News anchor Gregg Jarrett. Gregg, as an example of how political this is now getting, the mayor of Flint, Michigan at the White House at this hour, meeting with Valerie Jarrett. The White House is going to be naming a czar. Hillary Clinton, Bernie Sanders weighing in in the Democratic debate coming down on Republicans about this.

GREGG JARRETT: Because it raises issue of class and race. Sixty percent of the residents of Flint, Michigan are black. Forty-one percent live below the poverty line. They're going to the White House because they want a federal emergency disaster declaration to get federal funds but they're likely not going to get it.

NAUERT: Well this is a way they could potentially get more black votes in the coming election.

Typical The Blacks. "Oh my body is full of lead and I'm so thirsty!" Why can't they just use their Pull Up By Bootstraps app on their Obamaphones to fix it themselves, HUH?

Flint is a big faker, the shit vomit poison water is FINE.

[contextly_sidebar id="vu8CDhcTADZP2YsGnTF2nwnMYrL2PFvI"]Now, if you're a dedicated reader of the mouth-breathing jizz-sicles at National Review, you might be under the impression that the water in Flint is bad because of the Democrats. And if you are a wingnut, you need to remember that that's still VERY TRUE, but also at the same time, you need to understand that the problem DOESN'T EVEN EXIST, except when you need to blame it on somebody.


The often-controversial Oakland County executive, L. Brooks Patterson, suggested the Flint water crisis may have been blown out of proportion, citing a radio interview on Paul W. Smith’s and Frank Beckmann’s show on WJR-AM (760) with Bill Ballenger, a longtime political observer and former state lawmaker who lives in Flint.

Patterson said Ballenger told Beckmann that the water crisis is overblown, and that tests on Ballenger’s blood found no elevated lead levels. Patterson said Ballenger’s remarks offer “the other side” to the story of what’s happening in Flint, where testing has found dangerously elevated lead levels in children after the city switched from getting water from Lake Huron through Detroit's water department to water from the Flint River.

Patterson said Ballenger “was adamant that he lives in Flint, he drinks the water, he showers in that water,” and that blood tests found no evidence of lead in his system. He said Ballenger called the water crisis a hoax and “one of the most overblown scandals in the history of the state."

When the dumbass comments from old man Patterson, whose blood is probably full of Werther's Originals and traditional Republican cranky-pants-ness, caused controversy, his office said he wasn't saying he AGREED that the crisis is fake, but that "He simply noted there are other viewpoints on the subject." SOME SAY drinking lead gravy is bad for kids, but OTHERS SAY ... (???)

We do not know, these people are fucking idiots.

Michigan Republican Gov. Rick Snyder is super sorry about all this, y'all.

[contextly_sidebar id="5pHxUgSnGuMkVywWh8i2HA57MEbFtejH"]He's gonna fix it, because "the buck stops here" and MORE WORDS, none of which are "This is all my fault and I should be sent to live on a lead boat in the middle of the lead-filled Flint River of Lead," but come on, give him a chance!

Embattled Michigan Gov. Rick Snyder said Tuesday of the water contamination crisis in the city of Flint, "I am sorry; we will fix this." Snyder addressed the debacle in his State of the State address. [...]

He told the people of Flint, "You deserve accountability. You deserve to know that the buck stops here, with me. Most of all, you deserve to know the truth."

APOLOGY ACCEPTED! Good news, Flintians! You will have clean water some day or year or month in the future. Happy now? ARE YOU HAPPY? Pfffffft, you're probably going to keep whining about how you're getting poisoned (and having to pay for it!), aren't you?

Typical The Blacks and Democrats victims of lead poisoning.

[Media Matters / Detroit Free Press / NPR via RawStory]

Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

Follow him on Twitter RIGHT HERE.


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