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Egypt democratically elected her first president yesterday, Mohamed Morsi, a former member of the Muslim Brotherhood's Guidance Office and president of their Freedom and Justice Party. We say former because as soon as his election was announced, as he promised, he resigned from both of these positions in order to convince secularists and Christians that he will serve ALL of Egypt, not just his MB pals. Egyptians still wait for him to ban all alcohol, close all the bars and make all the women wear veils. Nervous jokes on Twitter included some guy's hash dealer telling him to stock up on smoke since that may be all he can get for a while.


So, while there is some legitimate apprehension in Egypt right now about Morsi, some think that it will be easier to get rid of an Islamic president (ruled by the military who hates him), than it would be to get rid of the other candidate from the old regime, Hosni Mubarak's last Prime Minister, Ahmed Shafiq (ruled by the military who loves him). Because, you see, it's actually the military that runs Egypt right now, so the president, no matter who he is, has limited power.

But in America, some people's kids don't pay attention to these pesky details and instead, the Islamic fear mongering has begun. Leave it to Fox News to post an article just after the election to terrorize all their immensely intelligent followers with a video supposedly showing Morsi. The problem with this video is, well, it wasn't Mohamed Morsi shouting at scary crowds of soon-to-be terrorists who will run from the speech and immediately invade Israel and America. It was a fiery preacher named Safwat al-Hegazy, giving a let's-steal-back-Jerusalem speech in support of Morsi a few weeks ago, from whom Morsi later distanced himself, saying, "Jerusalem is in our hearts and vision. But Cairo is Egypt's capital." (We think he may have wanted to do a little more distancing than that, but what do we know about "banish the sleep from the eyes of all Jews" and "you are all Hamas!"?)

Quirky clerics. We're probably just lucky Fox didn't put a (D) after his name!

Anyhoo, the video begins with bold yellow introductory text on a foreboding black background declaring, boldly,

"Rabbilive.com introduces Egypt's newly elected president, as declared by the Muslim Brotherhood, Mohamed Morsi, Israel's new neighbor."

As the text fades before the terrifying images begin, the sounds of shouted Arabic and cheering jihadists thunder out of your poor computer's speakers like the jack-booted speechifying of an all-too-familiar former German chancellor (he who shant be named but everyone who's anybody already knows it's Voldemort. Duh.).

And who supplied this video? Why, Breitbart's ghost, of course (the Fox news article has a link under it, "See the video at breitbart.com" but the page is strangely missing now), in collusion with David Nesenoff of Rabbilive.com. You might remember David as the guy who helped Helen Thomas leave her job, appears on Fox News and CNN's "Reliable Sources" (?) and according to his Wikipedia profile, "is uncertain whether he will continue to be a liberal and a Democrat." (?) To be fair, he also did some nice anti-hate things, which was nice of him.

The problem? There's no freaking problem. Just that Fox's article has been shared on Facebook 14,000 times. Here, I know you're anxious to watch this so you can share it too. Enjoy.

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And now for some very serious TUT TUTTING! It's time again for Republicans to make sad words about President Treason McTraitorpants selling out the country. This time they are seriously concerned, nay even deeply troubled, that Donald Trump would stand next to Vladimir Putin and pretend the Russians didn't hack the 2016 election. These patriotic Republicans are shocked, SHOCKED! Well, not, like, upset enough to do anything about it -- not with a fascist carpooler to jam into the Supreme Court. But they've got tweets, so it's all good!

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Republicans are in a pickle. Midterms are coming up and the party in the White House usually loses seats in those elections. It doesn't help their chances that their guy Donald Trump frolics through fields holding hands with self-made Russian dictator and coincidental poisoner Vladimir Putin, who our own justice department believes attacked our mostly free elections and our true national monument, the Internet.

If you're as old as I am, you'll recall that back in the 1980s, the whole Republican brand involved not trusting the Ruskies, and they were especially disappointed when Kevin Costner turned out to be one in No Way Out. Now, the current Republican president is talking like some kind of crazy commie lib, bashing the FBI and giving the benefit of the doubt to a former KGB agent. During an interview Sunday where he wore a hat with "USA" in big letters on it, presumably so someone could easily return him if he got lost on the field trip, Trump went so far as to call the European Union a "foe" of his country, which if you believe his hat is supposedly the United States not Russia.

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