TROUBLE!Just catching up on your weekend newses? Well, Friday the Washington Post reported that presidential son-in-law Jared Kushner asked the Russian ambassador for a secret line to Putin, to be run through the Russian embassy, so none of those snoopsy Americans could hear it. This was considered terribly uncouth! By everyone, but also by us!

Saturday, we yelled at the New York Times for being super credulous and lame and New York Timesy.

On Sunday we rested.

And on Monday, the New York Times redeemed itself, somewhat, with a followup to the story that was considerably less narrated by Jared Kushner.

But with the time freed up that he'd previously been spending whispering in (we assume) an Andy Warhol voice to the august New York Times, Kushner found a new mark (allegedly; by us, we are alleging it; because OH MY GOD IT IS SO JARED KUSHNER) and that mark was "Fox News," which was very happy to be be-markened, thank you! Let us investigate this journalistic tour de force, Jared Kushner didn't suggest Russian communications channel in meeting, source says.

A December meeting between Jared Kushner, President Donald Trump’s son-in-law and one of the senior advisers in the Trump administration, and Russian ambassador Sergei Kislyak at Trump Tower focused on Syria, a source familiar with the matter told Fox News Monday.

We already yelled at the New York Times about this, Fox. But you are Fox, so please proceed with your DUMBASSEDNESS.

During the meeting the Russians broached the idea of using a secure line between the Trump administration and Russia, not Kushner, a source familiar with the matter told Fox News. That follows a recent report from The Washington Post alleging that Kushner wanted to develop a secure, private line with Russia.

Jared Kushner says NUH UH NO BACKSIES.

The idea of a permanent back channel was never discussed, according to the source. Instead, only a one-off for a call about Syria was raised in the conversation.

In addition, the source told Fox News the December meeting focused on Russia's contention that the Obama administration's policy on Syria was deeply flawed.

Got that, everyone? Russia wanted the back channel, which wasn't a back channel, and wasn't permanent, and was just about Syria, and Obama sux.

Then the Fox report wraps up with a reminder of what really happened:

Kushner suggested the use of Russian diplomatic facilities as a way to shield pre-inauguration discussions with Kislyak from monitoring, according to The Post.

Propaganda pro-tip: probably don't end with a reminder of the real story you're trying to distract from, that is just Baghdad Bob 101!

Anyway, Jared Kushner asked Russia for a secret spy phone in his shoe, and he is going to go to jail, the end, HAPPY TUESDAY Y'ALL! :D

[WaPo / Fox]

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