How a normal network might report the story

There's an awful lot to be happy about in the story of the three vacationing Americans, a British executive, and a French passenger who overpowered a would-be terrorist on a high-speed train Friday. Nobody got killed, and even the two people who were slashed by the bad guy's knife are going to be fine. On Monday, four of the hero passengers were awarded France's highest civilian medal, the Legion d'Honneur. So: a whole lot of good to say about the decency and heroism of ordinary people willing to risk their lives to protect complete strangers.

Obviously, that's why Fox News anchorblonde Anna Kooiman had to ask why Barack Obama let this attempted attack happen, exactly like how he caused all the spouse abuse in the NFL by ignoring Benghazi.

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On Monday's edition of Fox & Friends, Kooiman introduced a segment on the vacationing Americans by asking why Barack Obama is so bad at keeping European high-speed trains safe:

Now we are learning the terrorist they tackled was being watched by several countries and even fought for ISIS. Is this what happens when the Obama administration takes its eye off the war on terror?

By golly, you might also ask why, given that several European countries' intelligence agencies were watching the dude, it would make any sense to blame Barack Obama for letting him get on a train with an AK-47, a handgun, and a big knife. You might think that the European security agencies bear some responsibility, seeing as how they were considerably closer to Europe at the time. Former FBI Assistant Director Ron Hasko suggested the Obama administration somehow should have been "spearheading" the coordination of all counter-terror efforts, and since obviously this one guy got through, Obama's doing a terrible job. Hasko did at least acknowledge that, instead of the al Qaeda model where a terrorist group arms and coordinates attacks, ISIS has instead been encouraging what he called "come-as-you are terrorism," which we have to say was always our least favorite Nirvana song.

We think Fox has it wrong, though. Instead of blaming Obama for not watching French trains more closely -- which is right in the presidential oath after the part about the president's duty to say "God" in public a minimum of twice a day -- we think Barry Bamz deserves some credit here. Let's take a moment to note that the three American heroes -- Airman First Class Spencer Stone, Oregon National Guard specialist Alek Skarlatos, and their friend Anthony Sadler -- were traveling by high-speed rail from Amsterdam to Paris when they thwarted the attack. Now, shouldn't Barack Obama's concern for climate change, and his encouragement of using mass transit, get some of the praise? If Stone, Karlatos, and Sadler had been driving across Europe in a Lincoln Navigator, they wouldn't have even been in a position to stop the attack, would they?

Also, Yr Wonkette had to smile at the pure American-ness of this little detail: What did the three Americans wear to the ceremony where French President François Hollande awarded them (and British business consultant Chris Norman) France's highest honor? Polo shirts and khaki slacks. Heck, all they needed to top it off was for Chewbacca to turn around and roar, and it would have been perfect.

Yeah, go ahead and hum 'Throne Room and Finale.' You know you want to.

Oh, also, fuck Fox News with an off-brand lead paint Chinese dildo for using a story of genuine heroism to bash Obama yet again.

[Media Matters / New York Times]

Doktor Zoom

Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.


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