Fall in line

You probably bleached "moderate" Republican Judge Jeanine Pirro from your memory after she sank to the bottom of the sea on the FAIL boat. Pirro had delusions of seizing the New York Senate seat from a certain Ms. Hillary Clinton in 2006, but she had to drop out before she could even get her party's nomination, because of how hard she sucked. Like, real hard. Like, LOL and LIRL and BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA hard. So of course Fox News gave her a weekend show to shout her "legal" opinions at the half-comatose viewing audience while they clean their dentures.

Watch her shake her tiny fists of fury at Republicans who dare to criticize The Great White Hope Donald Trump:

The Republican Party is in real trouble. They proved it to all of us this week. Their primary strategy as it relates to Donald Trump is dead wrong and it will cost them the election and the White House.

How so? Because RINO Republicans like South Carolina Gov. Nikki Haley are too busy telling Americans to please not hold Trump against the whole party, instead of talking about how Obama sucks. Which is all Republicans should ever talk about, all the time, 47 hours a day.

Who anointed you to take a shot at the leading contender for president in your own party in a nationally televised historic rebuttal, when you could have laid out a strategy of how the very fabric of America has changed under this Democratic so-called leadership?

[contextly_sidebar id="v9JSU2kGl6IKwFT11bRNAXIFrJdqZZ0Q"]The short answer is the Republican Party, that's who, and Republican National Committee Chair Reince Priebus, who thought Haley did a bang-up job on "balance and substance" and showing everyone that there are TOO some people in the GOP who aren't cranky old white guys or Donald Trump. But go on, Your Honor, please:

And, by the way, there was a time, Nikki Haley, when you were one of the angriest voices. You came in in a Tea Party wave. Angry about what was happening in America and now you epitomize the very establishment that you promised to change.

GRRRR. Who do you think you are, Nikki Haley, ever so politely suggesting we resist "the siren call of the angriest voices," when you should be on your knees slobbering all over Trump's angry knob, like a real Republican? Don't you remember when you were an angry screeching lady teabagger yourself? And Republicans loved you for your lovely immigrant skin (even though you were born here) and your lovelier lady parts (even though you are so fucking terrible on lady things, you want to arm the lady beaters)? Yeah, well, pro tip from Judge Pirro for you:

Americans are tuning into debates in historic numbers and I’ll tell you who the angriest voices are. The angriest voices are the American people. We’ve been gutted. We’re scared and the American dream is not what it used to be. Unless, of course, you’re an illegal immigrant.

Uh huh, real Americans' lives are being fish filleted, while the illegals are livin' large with their Obamaphones and fancy fridges filled with crab legs they buy with socialist food stamps.

Now for the mic drop:

Nikki, maybe you and your establishment friends in the Republican party ought to turn down your own volume and start listening to us. Start supporting your own party’s front runner. The person Republicans want. [...]

Be careful. Be very, very careful. Get in line behind our favorite. After all, in case you’ve forgotten, you work for us and you too can be fired.

And THAT is the brilliant legal opinion of ex-Judge Jeanine Pirro, who once claimed to "have broad blue stripes when it comes to social issues" and described herself as "a woman who is a moderate in New York." But that was in the olden days, before when she was hoping to nab a Senate seat in the blue state of New York values. Now that she's deep-throating the Fox News crazy pundit teat? Well, y'all better turn yourselves deep blood red and fall in line for Trump, OR ELSE.

[Crooks and Liars]


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