poo shy

Have you all signed up to help the American Family Association boycott Target? It's the hottest thing right now! Over 500,000 people have signed a pledge saying that, due to how Target says it is okay for people to use the bathroom that corresponds with their gender identity, they will never ever darken the doors of a Target, not never again! (As if they were not already redneck Walmart loyalists who think Target is for liberals.)

And as is the case with these sorts of things, wingnuts are out in public saying hilariously stupid things about it. We will now provide you a sampling of these wingnuts, starting with "Fox & Friends" because that is always where we start. The show brought on Fox News resident pervy misogynist "Doctor" Keith Ablow, to explain the Target situation to Steve Doocy and the new blonde one:

STEVE DOOCY: Target, you know the big store?

Yep, let's skip forward. Keith Ablow The Licensed Psychiatrist, say something breathtakingly stupid:

KEITH ABLOW: It represents more than bathrooms. We're not just talking about who's going to use which restroom. We're talking about whether closely held opinion of an individual will be allowed to overcome scientific data and history ... So if you believe that you are of one gender, but your DNA and your physical appearance and your physical anatomy are evidence that you are of another gender, then there's that conflict. Then if we allow people culturally to dictate terms in our culture, then we also by extension may be in a position where we allow people to say they're 65 when they're 45 and get Medicare. Allow people to get tattooed head to foot and say "I'm a black person." Now, would that be offensive to black people if that person got affirmative action preferences at school? [...]

This is the leading edge, some would argue -- I might! -- of an unraveling of our culture and perhaps our ability to plan for the future as a species!

WHOA. Transgenders pooping at Target will lead to middle-aged people faking oldness and white people faking blackness and then all of humanity will fall apart!

You know this blew Steve Doocy's mind, because Steve Doocy is a fucking moron:

DOOCY: So you're suggesting that people can selecct their gender, they could select their race, they could select their age. HOW DID WE GET TO THIS PLACE?

ABLOW: We got to this place because we care about people.

Ablow makes factually incorrect mouth sounds about how there's no science to back up the existence of transgender people, blah blah political correctness, yadda yadda shut the fuck up. He finally reaches the end of his slippery slope when he asks if America is ready to have a military draft, but all the 18-year-olds lie and say they're 12 and we lose the war, and that will happen because of the bathroom policy at Target. For real.

[wonkbar]<a href=""></a>[/wonkbar]Hey remember that time the "Fox & Friends" boys got really confused about how Target also doesn't label boy and girl toys anymore, and seemed worried that they were accidentally going to end up playing with Barbies and growing breasteses as a result? That was funny.

[wonkbar]<a href=""></a>[/wonkbar]Let's look at a couple more wingnuts real quick, hey here's one! She is Anita Staver, president of the Liberty Counsel and wife of Mat Staver, Kim Davis's dumbass lawyer. She says she is boycotting Target, but also seems to be threatening to take a gun into the ladies' room at Target. Um, Anita, you are not supposed to be pooping there right now anyway?

Sweet Jesus, somebody is actually going to get shot before this is all over.

And finally, here is a pastor named Greg Locke, standing outside of the Target, explaining that he got GRRR MAD when he went and asked the Target Lady to tell him the bathroom policy. Here is how bad the policy is, according to pastor Greg:

Target ...  you have lost your ever-lovin' mind. Your political correctness has forced you to do something STUPID. [...]

Let me tell you somethin' and be blunt about it, before I got saved by the grace of God, I used to smoke a lot of dope! But I've never been that stupid, are you kidding me? The bathroom that you "self-identify" with.

Uh OK, he knows everybody will molest YOUR WIVES AND DAUGHTERS at the Target potties, because he used to smoke reefer before he accepted Jesus into his heart.

We can't top that, so we will end this post RIGHT NOW.

[Fox News / JoeMyGod / Greg Locke on Facebook]

Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the senior editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

Follow him on Twitter RIGHT HERE.

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