Did US Women's Soccer Team Beat Up WWII Vet, Or Sign His Soccer Ball? Fox News Jes' Has No Way To Know!

fox news
Did US Women's Soccer Team Beat Up WWII Vet, Or Sign His Soccer Ball? Fox News Jes' Has No Way To Know!

Want to hear the latest lie being thrown around Outer Wingnuttia, and also Inner Wingnuttia, as well as Suburban and Exurban Wingnuttia? It is that the US WOMEN'S SOCCER TEAM did a DISRESPECT to FLAGS and HARMONICA-WIELDING OLD PEOPLE PLAYING NATIONAL ANTHEMS.

It was before their Monday match against Mexico, on their way to the Olympics, and a WWII vet named Pete DuPré did the anthem, and according to known factcheckers like Charlie Kirk, the women of the soccer team, we dunno, pantsed the veteran and peed on the flag, or something.

Loud gay conservative internet troll Ric Grenell has really been on one about it since last night:

Did any of this this happen? Of course not. Have Kirk and Grenell corrected themselves? Ha. (You'll notice the Grenell tweet is literally in response to US soccer tweeting him to correct his surely innocent misunderstanding.) This has now entered the snowflake white conservative canon of things that definitely did happen, hashtag critical race theory, hashtag cancel culture, hashtag YOU CAN PRY MR. POTATO HEAD'S PENIS OUT OF MY COLD DEAD HANDS!

The soccer team explained the confusion, because of course they had to waste their time doing that.

Indeed, the soccer women don't even hate the old Pete guy even a little bit. Here's a video of them being super cool to him, OR ARE THEY STEALING HIS LUNCH MONEY?

And here's the team cheering for him after he finished playing:

All this led to a fascinating discussion on Fox News, where the white anchors and the white guest agreed that upon reflection, it appears as if the women's soccer team did NOT push the old man off a cliff in his wheelchair and steal his butterscotches. But they said, you know, the fact that people believe they did sure does say a lot!

Just watch this shit:

Here's the part of the transcript you need to read:

IDIOT ANCHOR: There are some people who think that there were members of the team who were turning away from the flag and the anthem that was being played there. But then the US soccer team said no, that's not true ...

Ya know, because of how it wasn't true.

IDIOT GUEST: I think this is emblematic of where we are with sports now, where a huge percentage of American sports fans totally think it's believable that the US Women's Soccer Team would turn their back on a 98-year-old World War II veteran as he plays the national anthem, and not even think twice about it. [...] I think it is unfortunately a sign of where we are as a country that so many of us just presume that that level of disrespect is occurring by our national teams during the anthem.

Yeah wow, that just says a lot. Of course, what it says a lot about is the fact that rightwing media just cold fuckin' makes up shit to rile up the pigs that rely on them for their news, which is why of course they believed this about the women's soccer team. Why wouldn't they believe it?

Has the rightwing media not been telling them tall tales about Black football players murdering baby American flags in their cribs when they kneel during the anthem? Haven't they been trained by authoritarian media idiots to believe Megan Rapinoe is a liberal lesbian super-villain literally intent on destroying "Judeo-Christian" civilization?

Yeah, it sure does say a lot, about the revolving lies of the rightwing bullshit factory. Some people believe this transparently bullshit thing, so we'd better talk about it a lot, because some people believe it! Soccer players abusing old WWII veterans, stolen elections ... all that matters is that SOME PEOPLE believe it.

As the segment ended, one of the idiot Fox anchors said, "In Tokyo, this is going to be a story!" Not sure what they meant by that, but we trust they'll make up something by the opening ceremonies.

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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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