White Virginia Mom: Critical Race Theory Turned My Black Son Black
This is a real thing we saw on our TV.
Here’s the latest pathetic entry in the critical race theory panic: Virginia mother Melissa Riley, currently in the running for the whitest woman alive, is suing her 13-year-old Black son’s school district because its antiracism program has given him a case of the "uppities."
No, really, here’s the video from Media Matters:
\u201che wasn\u2019t like this before\u2026 he\u2019s in 8th grade\u201d\nma\u2019am i believe puberty is who you want to sue— sklapr\u00e9 (@sklapr\u00e9) 1652747259
PREVIOUSLY: Here’s The POS Who Scared Your Conservative Relatives With Lies About Critical Race Theory
During her Fox News interview (of course), Riley insisted her son was nice and docile before the Albemarle School District exposed him to voodoo “critical race theory,” and now he’s sullen and difficult. Perhaps she’s never met a teenager before, but it’s possible that puberty’s the true culprit here. Before she blamed the school, she could’ve at least checked if her son had started wearing a mood-altering red kryptonite ring.
Riley told host Jesse Watters, an empathetic ear for America’s Black youth, that her son now sees himself “just as a Black man. He’s seeing things that don’t go his way as racism. And he is finding safety in numbers now."
Not sure what she means about “safety in numbers.” Maybe he’s bringing other Black kids to the house now. She probably didn’t sign up for that when she had sex with a Black man 14 years ago.
From the New York Post’s absurd profile on Riley:
Growing up in the Charlottesville area, Riley said her son never really saw himself as different from the other kids in school. Sure, his skin tone was a little darker — his dad is black and Riley is white and Native American — but Riley never thought it was appropriate to box him in with stifling racial classifications.
I was a Black kid in the South and race is not something you can escape, even if your school doesn't directly mention it. The idea that white kids would never bring it up and you can enjoy a blissfully color-evasive existence is incredibly naive. Middle school is a tough time for all kids, especially if you’re noticeably different. Riley clearly isn’t offering a supportive environment for her son’s Blackness, which we guess she sees as only skin deep. She shows nothing but contempt for cultural Blackness. She’s apparently terrified her cute, “raceless” baby will turn into a troublemaker, like the rest of us.
She suggested that Henley Middle School’s antiracist training has rendered her son shiftless. He tries to get out of chores and other household responsibilities. This is all very shocking and unusual behavior for a 13-year-old kid. When she asked him to clean up his room, (she says) he called her a racist. We know how much children of all creeds and colors enjoy tidying their living space.
Riley claims her son is using racism "as an excuse because they have told him that that's how people see him, as a Black man, that the world is against and [he] sees it as a negative now.” Putting aside the racial aspect, this is all normal adolescent behavior. Teens get angsty. Nirvana’s Nevermind wasn’t critical race theory.
She doesn’t see how she helps foster any perception that Blackness is inherently negative. Believe me, it’s a bummer to first experience racism. You're being attacked for no reason, but at least you're not the only one. You have a rich culture with cookouts and great music. Riley only offers her son borrowed whiteness. That only leads to self-loathing.
When Riley complained to the school about how they were Blackening up her kid, she was told he could assume a leadership role as a “Black spokesman for the Black community.” She wanted no part of this and considered “safe spaces” for Black students no different from segregation. Look, I can sympathize with the clueless white lady up to a point. Way too much well-meaning antiracist training uses overly academic and odd terminology that’s off-putting to normal people.
Henley’s antiracist program, which is called “Courageous Conversations About Race,” was launched in response to George Floyd’s murder in 2020. Despite all the talk about a “national reckoning on race,” the resulting white backlash has been significant and a political jackpot for Republicans.
The conservative nonprofit legal firm Alliance Defending Freedom filed a lawsuit in December on Riley’s behalf, claiming Henley’s program violated her parental rights and some other nonsense. A circuit judge dismissed the case but ADF plans to appeal.
I can only wish Riley’s son the best.
[Daily Mail / New York Post / Media Matters]
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White GOP Governor Bros Tell Sunday Shows About All The Abortions They're About To Ban
We watch so you never have to!
The Sunday shows, as always, were a festival of horribleness this weekend.
So let's talk about abortion with some GOP governors!
Oklahoma Gov. Kevin Stitt on 'Fox News Sunday'
On "Fox News Sunday," host Shannon Bream interviewed Oklahoma GOP Gov. Kevin Stitt about a law he signed that would make performing abortions punishable with up to 10 years in jail and $100,000 in fines. Bream cited research showing up to 51 percent of Oklahomans believe abortion should be legal. Stitt countered with alternative facts:
STITT: Well, some of those -- your -- some of those different facts or those newspapers that you're quoting are not what we find with the people in Oklahoma. [...] The representatives are elected from all over the state of Oklahoma, probably 80 percent to 90 percent passage in our state. So, I totally disagree with those numbers.
Bream pointed out his anti-abortion bill doesn't make exceptions for rape or incest. When asked what he'd say to women in such situations, he sounded tone deaf and insincere:
STITT: Well, first off, super compassionate about that. I have daughters, cannot even imagine what that would be like and that hardship. [...] We're going to do everything we can to protect life and love both the mother and the child.
Super-duper compassionate that Oklahoma will force you to have your rapist's baby.
Bream showed these stats, which suggest Oklahoma's concern for mothers and children essentially ends at the moment of birth:
But once again, Stitt had alternative facts. That, and a Freudian slip:
STITT: Well, I mean, here's the deal. Is the answer to the socialist Democrat left to abort poor kids? I mean, that's just ridiculous to even kind of quote those types of stats.
No one said anything about "aborting poor kids."
George Carlin called out how little anti-abortion conservatives actually care for mothers and children a very long time ago. Some things never change:
Nebraska Gov. Pete Ricketts on CNN's 'State Of The Union'
On CNN, Dana Bash interviewed Nebraska GOP Gov. Pete Ricketts, who wants to ban abortion completely in Nebraska once Roe v. Wade goes away, with no exemptions for rape or incest. He's got some alternative science about life beginning at "conception." Bash tried to appeal to some sort of non-existent sense of decency:
BASH: Including in the case of rape or incest?
RICKETTS: They're still babies too. Yes, they're still babies.
Once again, we refer you to George Carlin.
Speaker Nancy Pelosi on CNN's "State Of The Union"
On the same show, Bash asked Democratic Speaker Nancy Pelosi about criticisms of Democratic leadership's failure to see the GOP's long game on abortion. Here's what Pelosi had to say:
PELOSI: Well, I mean, no, I mean, the point is, is, who would have ever suspected that a creature like Donald Trump would become president of the United States, waving a list of judges that he would appoint, therefore, getting the support of the far right, and appointing those anti-just freedom justices to the court? So, this is not about long game. We played a long game. We won Roe v. Wade a long time ago.
Referring to the length of time since Roe was decided is not "playing the long game." The judges Donald Trump nominated would have been the same without Trump, because they were not really picked by Trump. By Pelosi's own admission, the GOP has made its intentions on Roe clear for a long time. They should have been taken seriously.
Democratic leadership needs to stop longing for a "big, strong Republican Party" from yesteryear. Today's conservatism is an existential threat. The GOP is not an opposition party. Hell, just sample a few Wonkette headlines from the last 24 hours, you'll get a pretty good idea of what the GOP is.
It's this:
pic.twitter.com/FJ76ULBSBG— Tucker Carlson (@Tucker Carlson) 1651422623
Have a week.
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Time For Another Episode Of 'Regular Normal Conversations,' With Tucker Carlson And Glenn Greenwald!
What?
You probably think the appropriate question about this clip of Tucker Carlson and Glenn Greenwald talking on Tucker's "If Little House On The Prairie Was A Gay Porn" daytime set is "why?" But you are wrong, the question is "why not?"
Glenn Greenwald tells Tucker that tweeting death threats and watching porn is an "outlet" for people who harbor a desire to murder and rape. He and Tucker argue that removing those "safety valves" of expression lead to things like January 6th. (Choppy video from FN, sorry)pic.twitter.com/zMKSKl3F8k— nikki mccann ram\u00edrez (@nikki mccann ram\u00edrez) 1652367682
We really do not know what is happening here or why these two guys think this is a normal talk, but we're just going to describe it for you and you can see what you think.
Glenn says "everybody knows" that people who actually send death threats online are probably not actually going to come kill you. That's probably correct.
Tucker giggles in his soprano register because Glenn is very funny.
Glenn says "watching pornography is an outlet and alleviates the desire to go rape," like that is a perfectly normal thing to say. He says "when you give people a channel to express themselves" — you know, by sending death threats online or watching porn — then they just won't go off killing and raping. This is why before the internet existed, all people were murderers and rapists.
Glenn says that QAnon is a "protest movement" that's about "upsetting elites." This is true because as we all know, elites get very upset when friendless losers on the internet believe Donald Trump is running a secret crime-fighting superhero outfit with the resurrected John F. Kennedy Jr. to fight child trafficking. Elites are like "UGH! I'M UPSET!"
Glenn says when you tell these people "they can no longer use the internet to gather with like-minded people and exchange grievances and organize, what do you THINK is going to happen?"
Tucker says "Well exactly!"
Glenn says this is what happened on January 6, that people were thinking "we don't really have the democratic process or the basic civil liberties that we were taught as children, we can expect by being in the United States, and so gathering together and protesting and storming things is the only thing we have left."
Tucker says "Well yeah! Because they took away the pressure release valves!" You know, the venue for sending journalists death threats and the masturbation internet time.
Now if you are wondering when every Big-Lie-believing QAnon brain wizard lost their internet access, or what in the hell Glenn is talking about when he suggests these people have lost "democratic process" or "basic civil liberties," please remember that these men are not like the rest of us and who knows, maybe they just hallucinate all the time, like housecats, oh well fuck it.
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Fox News's 'The Five' Had Some Pretty Neat Afternoon Chit-Chat Yesterday
Good times.
It's easy to forget that there are people all over the country who are at home during weekday afternoons, and they turn on Fox News and watch "The Five" like it is the real news. You know which one that is, it's got Judge Boxwine and Jesse Watters and Geraldo and known jokester Greg Gutfeld and somebody else, and they sit at a table and talk about what's hot, what's not, and so on and so forth.
So here they are making very hilarious commentary about how Sarah Silverman said on "The View" that she shares toothbrushes with her boyfriend, or something:
Greg Gutfeld: "But at The View, they don\u2019t even use toothbrushes. They just put all of their teeth in the dishwasher."pic.twitter.com/B2DvhH89ji— Justin Baragona (@Justin Baragona) 1652392502
Jesse Watters does a poll of who would share toothbrushes.
Boxwine says "NOT A CHANCE!"
Geraldo says if you're fuckin' why not. Geraldo knows about fuckin' and also oral hygiene.
"Dagen" — the other one, we guess — says sometimes she accidentally uses the toothbrush she uses to clean the tile in the bathroom.
Gutfeld makes a very funny joke about how on "The View" they all put their teeth in the dishwasher. This is why he is such a popular comedy host, jokes like this just come to him.
Greg Gutfeld: "The abortion bill is their baby formula."pic.twitter.com/mkqoMwkeEp— Justin Baragona (@Justin Baragona) 1652391459
Boxwine is ranting that she heard on the news that "FOUR MS-13 GANG MEMBERS CROSSED THE BORDER AND TWO CONVICTED CHILD SEX PREDATORS," and lamented that Joe Biden just wants to talk about other things that aren't important, like how MAGA is an extremist movement, and also abortion. "This guy is talkin' about the MAGA king and how bad the world, how bad abortion is, not having it," said Boxwine, slowly forming a full thought on the fly.
Again, because he is the joking one, Greg Getfucked says, "I think the abortion bill is their baby formula," and then he makes this face like "Welp i just told the truth! DEAL WITH IT!"
And literally, off camera, you hear people say "MMMMMM!" like he has just shared a profound thought that means something.
Boxwine says, "You know what, they gotta learn to feed the babies. And not ... the other."
Greg says, "That was my point."
Boxwine says, "Yes."
Take a few moments to reflect on how much more money these people make than you do. Just make that your morning meditation today.
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Wonkette is funded ENTIRELY by a few thousand people like you. If you're not already, would you pls consider being the few thousandth and one?