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On One Hand, F*ck Howard Kurtz. On The Other Hand, F*ck Howard Kurtz.

BOTH HANDS DO IT!

Know who we don't talk about very much at Wonkette? Fox News media idiot Howard Kurtz. And we're not about to start! Suffice it to say that no matter where he's worked — and he's worked a lot of places! — he has always been a dimwit. So he's just like a really good fit at Fox News.

Anyway, Kurtz has written something stupider and more Both-Sides-y about where we find ourselves in our fragile American experiment right now than Chris Cillizza could ever come up with in his wettest wildest dreams.

Did you know that Trump refusing to accept the results of the election and trying to do a coup and declare himself dictator is bad, but #BothSidesDoIt because Whoopi Goldberg said something mean on "The View"?

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Unknown Whistleblower Tells Laura Ingraham About Nevada Daylight Vote Heist That Definitely Happened!

This country keeps getting dumber.

Professional terrible person Laura Ingraham used the words “President-elect Joe Biden" last night, so for a moment it seemed like Ingraham had started to accept electoral reality. Then she invited onto her white power hour the Clark County, Nevada, poll worker who Trump campaign surrogate Matt Schlapp claimed had witnessed blatant, daylight voter fraud.

The “whistleblower," whose identity was hidden and her voice modified, told Ingraham that she was on a walk during her lunch break when she happened upon people passing around envelopes and ripping them open. They stood near a clearly identified “Biden/Harris" van. These criminal masterminds helpfully leaned against the van so passers-by could observe that they were fooling around with BALLOTS.

WHISTLEBLOWER: As I got closer, I thought, "Those are ballots." I walked by four or five times. On the next time I walked by, they were putting them in the envelopes. They were putting them in a white and pink envelope.

OK, it's obvious the major story here isn't that the “whistleblower" claims to have seen very stupid and obvious "voter fraud" but that she's invisible. She apparently got close enough to these people to identify the color of the envelopes they were stuffing with illegal (i.e. “Black") votes. This reminds me of how Catwoman on the 1960s “Batman" series once “hid" from Chief O'Hara by crouching next to a piano. That worked because Chief O'Hara was an idiot, but most licensed election fraud racketeers aren't idiots.

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Fox News Idiots So Mad Trump Not Getting Credit For Coronavirus Vaccine He Didn't Create

Bite me.

You know how Democrats are just going to stop talking about coronavirus now that the election is over? That's what Donald Trump always said, because coronavirus was just a hoax to tank his re-election prospects and because everything is about him. President No Mask had the virus and is now "immune," so obviously this whole thing is over, right? That's why nobody is even reporting that Mark Meadows and Dr. Ben Carson and God only knows who else got covid after attending the White House superspreader election night party

ANY-HOO.

Pfizer announced it has a COVID-19 vaccine it says is more than 90 percent effective, at least so far. This is great news, if the safety and efficacy of the vaccine pan out. And yet, it's sparked a tidal wave of BELLYACHING from Trumpland, because Pfizer didn't even take this opportunity to lick Trump's balls and thank him for being such a great Dear Leader. Mike Pence is taking credit for it, White House comms liar Alyssa Farah is doing a victory lap, and the whining at Fox News has gone up to eleven.

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GOP Extends Post-Election Middle Finger Of Friendship

The Republican narrative for the next four years is set.

During his victory speech Saturday, President-Elect Joe Biden offered a message of unity and reconciliation with Trump supporters. That's what he should do. He's the bigger person, unlike the petty Black man writing this post. Republicans are responding true to form, though, and slapping away Biden's extended hand of friendship. Sunday, on Fox News, Newt Gingrich burned a whole tree's worth of olive branches when asked about Biden's speech.

GINGRICH: Well, look, it's a nice sentiment.

Don't get excited. He's being sarcastic.

GINGRICH: First you go out and the Democrats steal five or six states, and that's what Republicans believe we're watching.

It doesn't matter what Republicans “believe." There's absolutely no evidence for these absurd charges. He's just sore because Georgia, which he represented in Congress for years, is one of those states Democrats “stole" by receiving more votes.

GINGRICH: Then you turn around and say, let's forget four years of Nancy Pelosi. Let's forget four years of impeachment, harassment, opposition, hostility, hatred, and now that I've won, why don't we be nice together.
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