Fox News's Shep Smith Reads Donald Trump For Filth (Your Open Thread!)

POTUS

January 11, 2017 06:17 PM

HEYO Wonkers! Thanks for being with us on thisfabulous fast news day! Anybody else feeling a great weight lifting off them, like the next four years are going to be nonstop pee jokes and sunshine?

ME TOO! WE GOT THIS!

For this evening's open thread, we will let Shep Smith, human of Fox News, sexplain to Donald Trump why he can't actually Un-Person reporters even if they are from Fake Old CNN. It's a nice moment of Fourth Estate solidarity, and of course it's from Shep. What, you think Hannity would say that? Or (ugh) Greta Van Susteren, now blowing bile all over our dear MSNBC, what even the fuck? Nah.

Shep Smith: no journalist "should be subjected to belittling and delegitimizing by the president-elect of the United States" pic.twitter.com/d0emmKlVEq
— Leanne Naramore (@LeanneNaramore) January 11, 2017

And there you have it. Commence to pee jokes, FOR EVER!

Rebecca Schoenkopf

Rebecca Schoenkopf is the owner, publisher, and editrix of Wonkette. She is a nice lady, SHUT UP YUH HUH. She is very tired with this fucking nonsense all of the time, and it would be terrific if you sent money to keep this bitch afloat. She is on maternity leave until 2033.

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Russia

Morning Wonketariat! Here's some of the things we may be talking about today.

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GOP Thinks It's Going To Beat Phil Bredesen By ... Shitting On Ben Folds And Jason Isbell? LOL OK

Phil Bredesen's Rockin' The Suburbs, Just Like Ben Folds Did. Rockin' The Suburbs, Except Phil Bredesen's Talented ...

Elections

Just recently, Nashville made headlines because at long last, it stopped growing at a rate of 100 new residents per day. Clearly the city is dying now. Oh no! Only 94 new people a day! Possibly because cardboard boxes in Nashville are currently one million dollars, a little more if they have marble countertops!

We are yr Memphis Wonkette, and Tennessee's two large cities have a bit of a longstanding rivalry -- Memphis got IKEA first, and then Nashville was going to get one but that plan got fucked, so now Nashville has retaliated by building a four story Restoration Hardware with a bar, a grille, and probably sandy man-made beaches, we don't fucking know what is in that thing. But the fact is Memphis and Nashville are two very different cities, and the rivalry is mostly for #jokes. Memphis, historically and currently, is a lot more like its fellow river cities like New Orleans and St. Louis, whereas Nashville's path more closely resembles Atlanta. (That's right, Nashville. We just said your river DOESN'T COUNT.)

The thing that unites the cities is that they are HOLY SHIT BLUE, surrounded by seas of red. However, out of Tennessee's population of just under seven million, close to half are in the Memphis and Nashville metro areas. Blue islands also exist in Knoxville, Chattanooga, and a handful of other places like the college towns of Murfreesboro and Sewanee. However, the state was still red enough in 2016 that Donald Trump beat Hillary Clinton by 26 damn points. We'll see if the GOP pulls similar numbers in 2018. We doubt it.

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